[FFML] [fusion] Fusions That Should Never Be 6: FotNSCC

[DB Sommer]

Fusions That Should Never Be VI
FotNSCC


This one is much, much shorter than my usual FTSNB. Sorry. I’d say it’s
more spamfic in size, but it probably has earned the Fusion That Should
Never Be title to it because, well, it really is a fusion that should
never be.

Any and all C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at
[sommert (AT) connecttime (DOT) net]

All of my fics are stored at the following:

Larry F’s new address at:
http://www.rakhal.com/florestica/d_b_sommer/index.html

And also Angcobra is now storing fics, at
http://www.hostultra.com/~AngCobraFics/dbsommer.html

At fanfiction.net:
http://www.fanfiction.net/

Or R+C books at:
http://www.fanworks.org

Standard disclaimer: I do not own Yokohama Quiet Country Café or the
series it’s been fused with. I’d like it to be a surprise.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Morning had turned to early afternoon by the time Alpha had finished
setting up the café for business. A fuse had blown out just as she
started preparing thins, and it had taken the better portion of a half
hour to track down the box the extras were stored in. By the time she
had replaced the fuse, precious time had been lost. Working diligently,
(as though the human-looking robot worked in any other way) the café was
finally open. Now she stood patiently by the counter waiting for her
first customer of the day.

Alpha had barely enough time to finish a cup of coffee when a rumble
declared her wait over. She could hear several separate engines, very
loud ones. A group of customers then. She moved toward the front of the
dining area, a couple of meters from the doorway, to greet her impending
customers with a smile.

The door to the café flew inward, torn off its hinges. A giant of a man,
nearly seven feet tall, stood in the door frame. It was obvious he had
massive muscles, since he wore nothing under his open leather vest. A
bright pink and blue Mohawk hair cut that was tall enough to follow the
motion of his head drew the attention of the eye. Behind him, several
other figures, every bit as tall and big, stood behind him.

His piercing gaze looked down at the smaller Alpha and a wolfish grin
spread across his face. “Well well, well. Look here boys. It’s a babe
just waiting for us.”

Alpha continued smiling warmly at him. “Why thank you. I’m Alpha and
I’ll be your waitress this afternoon. However, before I can seat you,
I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to reimburse us for the door you
destroyed.”

The giant snarled. “A mouthy one, eh? I was going to treat you nice and
rape you, but if you’re going to have that kind of snotty attitude, I’m
going to kill you instead.”

Alpha’s smile weakened slightly. “I’d advice against that. I am
programmed to defend myself.”

“Defend against this!” The man brought out a huge hand axe that had been
hidden behind him, tucked in his waistband. He swung it in a huge
overhand arc, intent on splitting Alpha in two.

Alpha side-stepped the blow, allowing the axe to bury itself in the
café’s wooden floorboard. She tapped the man on his forehead with a
single finger, then drew back.

The giant pulled his axe out of the ground. “Nimble bitch, aren’t you?
Well I—“

“Oh, I hope I remembered to pick up extra bleach when I was in town,”
Alpha said fretfully.

The man shivered in fury. “Pay attention! I’m going to kill—“ Again he
was brought up short, this time by the area of the forehead Alpha had
touched swelling like a balloon. It continued growing larger, the man
crying out in animalistic pain. His cries ceased as that area of his
head exploded like a giant zit, sending out blood, bone, and gore
everywhere in a spray that covered everything. Once the initial spray
ended, his body collapsed limply to the ground.

Alpha turned to the others. “Now that that’s taken care of, can I take
your orders now? I recommend the house blend. I hand grind it fresh
myself everyday.”

“Get her!” one of the others shouted.

Alpha sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Business was slow, so the old man had decided to take a break from
working his garage/gas station and grab a cup of Alpha’s coffee. It was
the best in all of Yokohama. He wandered into the café and came to an
abrupt halt, taking in the sight of blood and viscera spread all over
the place. Alpha stood in the center of it all, dressed in an apron and
covered nearly head-to-toe in blood as she scrubbed the floors furiously.

“Morning, Alpha. I see you had company,” the old man said nonchalantly.

Alpha looked up from her work. “It’s the third time this month. I’ve had
more gangs attack this place than customers looking for a bite to eat.”

The old man walked closer, finding a few oases free of gore on the
floor. “It’s a good thing your café is at the outskirts of town. I
shudder to think of what would happen if any of these psychotic thugs
ever made it into town.”

“I shudder to think of what’s going to happen if I don’t get some
customers that aren’t trying to kill me, especially since those ones
usually end up wrecking the place.”

The old man considered that. “Tell you what. I’ll take the bikes off
your hands. I can get a good price for them. That should cover the
damage and leave you a little ahead. By the way, I think you missed a
spleen.”

“Where?”

“Under that table there.”

Alpha looked in the direction he was pointing. “That’s a kidney. Spleens
are shaped differently and are darker in color.” Alpha stopped cleaning
and sighed. “I hope Master Kenshiro finds his girlfriend and gets back
soon. Running the Fist of the North Star Country Café is stressful,
bloody work.”

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

End Spamfic.

Yes, it’s a Fist of the North Star/Yokohama Quiet Country Café fusion.
Hey, both series take place in a post apocalyptic world where
civilization isn’t what it was. They both center on characters on
quests. One’s just more… violent, than the other. Why, they’re
practically identical. I’m just glad I managed to get the fusion done
before anyone else grabbed the idea.




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[Daniel Wells]

Curses!
I'll never be able to read Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou again without this
image lurking in my mind.

Curses!
:-p

On Wed, 6 Jul 2005, DB Sommer wrote:

>
> Fusions That Should Never Be VI
> FotNSCC
>
>
> This one is much, much shorter than my usual FTSNB. Sorry. I’d say it’s
> more spamfic in size, but it probably has earned the Fusion That Should
> Never Be title to it because, well, it really is a fusion that should
> never be.
>
> Any and all C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at
> [sommert (AT) connecttime (DOT) net]
>
> All of my fics are stored at the following:
>
> Larry F’s new address at:
> http://www.rakhal.com/florestica/d_b_sommer/index.html
>
> And also Angcobra is now storing fics, at
> http://www.hostultra.com/~AngCobraFics/dbsommer.html
>
> At fanfiction.net:
> http://www.fanfiction.net/
>
> Or R+C books at:
> http://www.fanworks.org
>
> Standard disclaimer: I do not own Yokohama Quiet Country Café or the
> series it’s been fused with. I’d like it to be a surprise.
>
> xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Morning had turned to early afternoon by the time Alpha had finished
> setting up the café for business. A fuse had blown out just as she
> started preparing thins, and it had taken the better portion of a half
> hour to track down the box the extras were stored in. By the time she
> had replaced the fuse, precious time had been lost. Working diligently,
> (as though the human-looking robot worked in any other way) the café was
> finally open. Now she stood patiently by the counter waiting for her
> first customer of the day.
>
> Alpha had barely enough time to finish a cup of coffee when a rumble
> declared her wait over. She could hear several separate engines, very
> loud ones. A group of customers then. She moved toward the front of the
> dining area, a couple of meters from the doorway, to greet her impending
> customers with a smile.
>
> The door to the café flew inward, torn off its hinges. A giant of a man,
> nearly seven feet tall, stood in the door frame. It was obvious he had
> massive muscles, since he wore nothing under his open leather vest. A
> bright pink and blue Mohawk hair cut that was tall enough to follow the
> motion of his head drew the attention of the eye. Behind him, several
> other figures, every bit as tall and big, stood behind him.
>
> His piercing gaze looked down at the smaller Alpha and a wolfish grin
> spread across his face. “Well well, well. Look here boys. It’s a babe
> just waiting for us.”
>
> Alpha continued smiling warmly at him. “Why thank you. I’m Alpha and
> I’ll be your waitress this afternoon. However, before I can seat you,
> I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to reimburse us for the door you
> destroyed.”
>
> The giant snarled. “A mouthy one, eh? I was going to treat you nice and
> rape you, but if you’re going to have that kind of snotty attitude, I’m
> going to kill you instead.”
>
> Alpha’s smile weakened slightly. “I’d advice against that. I am
> programmed to defend myself.”
>
> “Defend against this!” The man brought out a huge hand axe that had been
> hidden behind him, tucked in his waistband. He swung it in a huge
> overhand arc, intent on splitting Alpha in two.
>
> Alpha side-stepped the blow, allowing the axe to bury itself in the
> café’s wooden floorboard. She tapped the man on his forehead with a
> single finger, then drew back.
>
> The giant pulled his axe out of the ground. “Nimble bitch, aren’t you?
> Well I—“
>
> “Oh, I hope I remembered to pick up extra bleach when I was in town,”
> Alpha said fretfully.
>
> The man shivered in fury. “Pay attention! I’m going to kill—“ Again he
> was brought up short, this time by the area of the forehead Alpha had
> touched swelling like a balloon. It continued growing larger, the man
> crying out in animalistic pain. His cries ceased as that area of his
> head exploded like a giant zit, sending out blood, bone, and gore
> everywhere in a spray that covered everything. Once the initial spray
> ended, his body collapsed limply to the ground.
>
> Alpha turned to the others. “Now that that’s taken care of, can I take
> your orders now? I recommend the house blend. I hand grind it fresh
> myself everyday.”
>
> “Get her!” one of the others shouted.
>
> Alpha sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that.”
>
> Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Business was slow, so the old man had decided to take a break from
> working his garage/gas station and grab a cup of Alpha’s coffee. It was
> the best in all of Yokohama. He wandered into the café and came to an
> abrupt halt, taking in the sight of blood and viscera spread all over
> the place. Alpha stood in the center of it all, dressed in an apron and
> covered nearly head-to-toe in blood as she scrubbed the floors furiously.
>
> “Morning, Alpha. I see you had company,” the old man said nonchalantly.
>
> Alpha looked up from her work. “It’s the third time this month. I’ve had
> more gangs attack this place than customers looking for a bite to eat.”
>
> The old man walked closer, finding a few oases free of gore on the
> floor. “It’s a good thing your café is at the outskirts of town. I
> shudder to think of what would happen if any of these psychotic thugs
> ever made it into town.”
>
> “I shudder to think of what’s going to happen if I don’t get some
> customers that aren’t trying to kill me, especially since those ones
> usually end up wrecking the place.”
>
> The old man considered that. “Tell you what. I’ll take the bikes off
> your hands. I can get a good price for them. That should cover the
> damage and leave you a little ahead. By the way, I think you missed a
> spleen.”
>
> “Where?”
>
> “Under that table there.”
>
> Alpha looked in the direction he was pointing. “That’s a kidney. Spleens
> are shaped differently and are darker in color.” Alpha stopped cleaning
> and sighed. “I hope Master Kenshiro finds his girlfriend and gets back
> soon. Running the Fist of the North Star Country Café is stressful,
> bloody work.”
>
> Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> End Spamfic.
>
> Yes, it’s a Fist of the North Star/Yokohama Quiet Country Café fusion.
> Hey, both series take place in a post apocalyptic world where
> civilization isn’t what it was. They both center on characters on
> quests. One’s just more… violent, than the other. Why, they’re
> practically identical. I’m just glad I managed to get the fusion done
> before anyone else grabbed the idea.
>
>
>
>
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>
>

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[Joe Fenton]

DB Sommer wrote:

> Fusions That Should Never Be VI
> FotNSCC
>
>
> Morning had turned to early afternoon by the time Alpha had finished
> setting up the café for business. A fuse had blown out just as she
> started preparing thins, and it had taken the better portion of a half

thins?



> Alpha looked in the direction he was pointing. “That’s a kidney. Spleens
> are shaped differently and are darker in color.” Alpha stopped cleaning
> and sighed. “I hope Master Kenshiro finds his girlfriend and gets back
> soon. Running the Fist of the North Star Country Café is stressful,
> bloody work.”

That was great!


> Yes, it’s a Fist of the North Star/Yokohama Quiet Country Café fusion.
> Hey, both series take place in a post apocalyptic world where
> civilization isn’t what it was. They both center on characters on
> quests. One’s just more… violent, than the other. Why, they’re
> practically identical. I’m just glad I managed to get the fusion done
> before anyone else grabbed the idea.

I don't think YQCC is a post apocalyptic world - just
a future world where time just moves on as it always does.
Old places are gradually reclaimed by nature. Yokohama
wasn't "destroyed" in some battle or holocaust - it's just
sinking into the ocean like many places around the
world are today. Also, mankind hasn't fallen into another
dark age, it's a fully modern world with androids and
hypersonic transports. It's just Alpha's little corner
that's quiet and serene and rather old-fashioned.

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[Daniel Wells]

They are cookie-like crackers served with coffe or tea.

On Wed, 6 Jul 2005, Joe Fenton wrote:

>
> DB Sommer wrote:
>
> > Fusions That Should Never Be VI
> > FotNSCC
> >
> >
> > Morning had turned to early afternoon by the time Alpha had finished
> > setting up the café for business. A fuse had blown out just as she
> > started preparing thins, and it had taken the better portion of a half
>
> thins?
>
>
>
> > Alpha looked in the direction he was pointing. “That’s a kidney. Spleens
> > are shaped differently and are darker in color.” Alpha stopped cleaning
> > and sighed. “I hope Master Kenshiro finds his girlfriend and gets back
> > soon. Running the Fist of the North Star Country Café is stressful,
> > bloody work.”
>
> That was great!
>
>
> > Yes, it’s a Fist of the North Star/Yokohama Quiet Country Café fusion.
> > Hey, both series take place in a post apocalyptic world where
> > civilization isn’t what it was. They both center on characters on
> > quests. One’s just more… violent, than the other. Why, they’re
> > practically identical. I’m just glad I managed to get the fusion done
> > before anyone else grabbed the idea.
>
> I don't think YQCC is a post apocalyptic world - just
> a future world where time just moves on as it always does.
> Old places are gradually reclaimed by nature. Yokohama
> wasn't "destroyed" in some battle or holocaust - it's just
> sinking into the ocean like many places around the
> world are today. Also, mankind hasn't fallen into another
> dark age, it's a fully modern world with androids and
> hypersonic transports. It's just Alpha's little corner
> that's quiet and serene and rather old-fashioned.
>
> .---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
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> | Unsubscribing - ffml-request (AT) anifics (DOT) com |
> | Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
> `---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'
>
>

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[Michael A Chase]

On 07/06/2005 08:46 AM, DB Sommer said:

> Morning had turned to early afternoon by the time Alpha had finished
> setting up the café for business. A fuse had blown out just as she
> started preparing {thins : things}, and it had taken the better
> portion of a half hour to track down the box the extras were stored
> in. By the time she had replaced the fuse, precious time had been
> lost. Working diligently, (as though the human-looking robot worked
> in any other way) the café was finally open. Now she stood patiently
> by the counter waiting for her first customer of the day.

> “Oh, I hope I remembered to pick up extra bleach when I was in town,”
> Alpha said fretfully.

Wouldn't she know? Maybe she should wonder if she picked up enough.

> “Get her!” one of the others shouted.
>
> Alpha sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that.”

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

> Business was slow, so the old man had decided to take a break from
> working his garage/gas station and grab a cup of Alpha’s coffee. It
> was the best in all of Yokohama. He wandered into the café and came
> to an abrupt halt, taking in the sight of blood and viscera spread
> all over the place. Alpha {stood : knelt} in the center of it all,
> dressed in an apron and covered nearly head-to-toe in blood as she
> scrubbed the floors furiously.

Shouldn't she at least have rinsed herself off before starting cleaning
the shop?

> Alpha looked up from her work. “It’s the third time this month. I’ve
> had more gangs attack this place than customers looking for a bite to
> eat.”

Get Smart?

> Alpha looked in the direction he was pointing. “That’s a kidney.
> Spleens are shaped differently and are darker in color.” Alpha
> stopped cleaning and sighed. “I hope Master Kenshiro finds his
> girlfriend and gets back soon. Running the Fist of the North Star
> Country Café is stressful, bloody work.”

You'd think even the slow gangs would avoid a place with a name like
that. Of course, if none ever survive to spread the word...

> Yes, it’s a Fist of the North Star/Yokohama Quiet Country Café
> fusion. Hey, both series take place in a post apocalyptic world where
> civilization isn’t what it was. They both center on characters on
> quests. One’s just more… violent, than the other. Why, they’re
> practically identical. I’m just glad I managed to get the fusion done
> before anyone else grabbed the idea.

You are one seriously diseased juvenile canine.

--
Mac :})
** I usually forward private questions to the appropriate mail list. **
Ask Smarter: http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html
Give a hobbit a fish and he eats fish for a day.
Give a hobbit a ring and he eats fish for an age.

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[DB Sommer]

Daniel Wells wrote:

>Curses!
>I'll never be able to read Yokohama Kaidashi Kikou again without this
>
>
image lurking in my mind.


Curses!

:-p

% Excellent, another traumatized mind.

% BTW, as much as I'd like to say I meant 'thins' in your follow up
letter, it was supposed to be things. My bad.

DB Sommer

>
>
>
>
>


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[DB Sommer]

Joe Fenton wrote:

>DB Sommer wrote:
>
>
>
>>Fusions That Should Never Be VI
>>FotNSCC
>>
>>
>>Morning had turned to early afternoon by the time Alpha had finished
>>setting up the café for business. A fuse had blown out just as she
>>started preparing thins, and it had taken the better portion of a half
>>
>>
>
>thins?
>
>

% Should be 'things'. Will change.

>
>
>
>
>>Alpha looked in the direction he was pointing. “That’s a kidney. Spleens
>>are shaped differently and are darker in color.” Alpha stopped cleaning
>>and sighed. “I hope Master Kenshiro finds his girlfriend and gets back
>>soon. Running the Fist of the North Star Country Café is stressful,
>>bloody work.”
>>
>>
>
>That was great!
>
>

% Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.

>
>
>
>>Yes, it’s a Fist of the North Star/Yokohama Quiet Country Café fusion.
>>Hey, both series take place in a post apocalyptic world where
>>civilization isn’t what it was. They both center on characters on
>>quests. One’s just more… violent, than the other. Why, they’re
>>practically identical. I’m just glad I managed to get the fusion done
>>before anyone else grabbed the idea.
>>
>>
>
>I don't think YQCC is a post apocalyptic world - just
>a future world where time just moves on as it always does.
>Old places are gradually reclaimed by nature. Yokohama
>wasn't "destroyed" in some battle or holocaust - it's just
>sinking into the ocean like many places around the
>world are today. Also, mankind hasn't fallen into another
>dark age, it's a fully modern world with androids and
>hypersonic transports. It's just Alpha's little corner
>that's quiet and serene and rather old-fashioned.
>
>

% Okay. I confess my knowledge comes solely from 4 anime episodes, but I
intened on dling the manga and looking through some of it. Got a link to
it and everything. Just have to find the time.

DB Sommer

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>
>
>
>
>
>


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[Joe Fenton]

DB Sommer wrote:
>
> Joe Fenton wrote:
>>
>>thins?
>
> % Should be 'things'. Will change.

Thought so, but then someone else explained
that 'thins' actually are something people
serve with coffee or tea. :)



>>That was great!
>
> % Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it.

I like all your stuff (though some of it more than
the rest). Glad to see you working on Avenging again.



>>I don't think YQCC is a post apocalyptic world - just
>>a future world where time just moves on as it always does.
>>Old places are gradually reclaimed by nature. Yokohama
>>wasn't "destroyed" in some battle or holocaust - it's just
>>sinking into the ocean like many places around the
>>world are today. Also, mankind hasn't fallen into another
>>dark age, it's a fully modern world with androids and
>>hypersonic transports. It's just Alpha's little corner
>>that's quiet and serene and rather old-fashioned.
>
> % Okay. I confess my knowledge comes solely from 4 anime episodes, but I
> intened on dling the manga and looking through some of it. Got a link to
> it and everything. Just have to find the time.

Even in the anime, there doesn't seem to be anything
to suggest a post-apocalyptic world... no wastelands,
no roving bands of gangs, no mutants, no breakdown
in society...

We have working vehicles of relatively new manufacture,
availability of fuel, no hint of large-scale fighting
(no police, no militia, no armies, no jails even),
no travel restrictions, operating rail, reliable
delivery service, futuristic androids, futuristic
consumer electronics, easy access to high-tech
servicing (when Alpha got hit by lightning), etc..

The only thing that might mislead some folks is
the parts of Yokohama which are submerged in the
ocean, but even those ruins are almost completely
intact, even so far as to still have operating
power (Alpha goes out to watch the lights come
on in all the submerged buildings).

It's possible it IS a post-apocalyptic world,
but if so, it came through the apocalypse much
better than the FOTNS world.

By the way, I highly recommend the manga. If you
like the anime, you'll love the manga. It's REALLY
nice, but don't expect large amounts of dialogue.
YKK is a manga with as little dialogue as I've ever
seen in a manga. It doesn't need it.

In fact, I really should go back and reread it
again... it's been long enough that it'll seem
fresh all over again. The good stuff I always
go back and read again after a year or so.

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[DB Sommer]

Michael A Chase wrote:

>On 07/06/2005 08:46 AM, DB Sommer said:
>
>
>
>
>>“Oh, I hope I remembered to pick up extra bleach when I was in town,”
>>Alpha said fretfully.
>>
>>
>
>Wouldn't she know? Maybe she should wonder if she picked up enough.
>
>

% Hmm. Maybe.

>
>
>>“Get her!” one of the others shouted.
>>
>>Alpha sighed. “I was afraid you’d say that.”
>>
>>
>
>Don't you just hate it when that happens?
>
>

% yeah.

>
>
>>Business was slow, so the old man had decided to take a break from
>>working his garage/gas station and grab a cup of Alpha’s coffee. It
>>was the best in all of Yokohama. He wandered into the café and came
>>to an abrupt halt, taking in the sight of blood and viscera spread
>>all over the place. Alpha {stood : knelt} in the center of it all,
>>dressed in an apron and covered nearly head-to-toe in blood as she
>>scrubbed the floors furiously.
>>
>>
>
>Shouldn't she at least have rinsed herself off before starting cleaning
>the shop?
>
>

% when cleanig up messes like this, it's better to clean the room first,
then clean yourself up last. Otherwise you just end up cleaning yourself
twice.

>
>
>>Alpha looked up from her work. “It’s the third time this month. I’ve
>>had more gangs attack this place than customers looking for a bite to
>>eat.”
>>
>>
>
>Get Smart?
>
>

% Not the gangs, in any case.

>
>
>>Alpha looked in the direction he was pointing. “That’s a kidney.
>>Spleens are shaped differently and are darker in color.” Alpha
>>stopped cleaning and sighed. “I hope Master Kenshiro finds his
>>girlfriend and gets back soon. Running the Fist of the North Star
>>Country Café is stressful, bloody work.”
>>
>>
>
>You'd think even the slow gangs would avoid a place with a name like
>that. Of course, if none ever survive to spread the word...
>
>

% Yeah, how many survived meeting Ken? It was the handful of people he
rescued that passed on word of mouth about his techniques, near as I can
tell.

>
>
>>Yes, it’s a Fist of the North Star/Yokohama Quiet Country Café
>>fusion. Hey, both series take place in a post apocalyptic world where
>>civilization isn’t what it was. They both center on characters on
>>quests. One’s just more… violent, than the other. Why, they’re
>>practically identical. I’m just glad I managed to get the fusion done
>>before anyone else grabbed the idea.
>>
>>
>
>You are one seriously diseased juvenile canine.
>
>

% I try my best. Just finished Peach Girl, so maybe I'll do something
shoujo-shonen with that. Momo-chan is just fun to play with. Especially
since she made the right choise in the end.

DB Sommer


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