Nicholas Stone
21st June 2005, 08:29 AM
Chapter Eleven
Back down stairs, Nabiki and Ukyo caught sight of Ranko steadily
making her way through the guest taking request and serving drinks like
normal, except for a dark scowl that made more then a few people afraid
to approach her. Nabiki gave Ukyo a light tap, nodding questioningly to
Ranko.
“Well, you’ve got to admit she does have a good reason to be
upset,” said Ukyo.
“Tell her to drop it now before she really upsets someone.”
A nod from Ukyo satisfied Nabiki and she was getting ready to
make her way to the bar when someone’s hand grabbed her by the left
wrist, twisted her hand painfully back with a firm grip. She winced and
looked back over her shoulder to find Vicky there and she was not very
happy.
“Oh, Vicky, OW, OW, OW, OW, uh is there something wrong?”
Vicky faked a smile and moved up close behind Nabiki. “You, me,
upstairs now, young lady,” she hissed through clenched teeth.
“Oh, a meeting (Owww), I, I, I guess this is important!”
With Vicky guiding her along, Nabiki told Ukyo. “Take care of
that little problem for us?”
“Uh, sure. No worries.”
Another firm twist and the two women disappeared back up the
stairs leaving Ukyo now in the hot seat. She let out a deep breath then
began searching for Ranko, but the girl had vanished. Great, I’ll have
to work that problem after I go see Kodachi, she thought.
Making her way politely through the milling throng of guests,
Ukyo finally made her way to the bar. Kodachi was hard at play,
currently shaking a tumbler like a member of a reggae band, chortling
deviously as she did. There were a few people standing around, some at
odd angles, others wavering and Ukyo knew Kodachi was again drifting off
from her instructions.
Kodachi saw Ukyo heading towards her and paused briefly in
mid-shake before placing the shaker down under the bar. When she
reached the bar a hush filled the air around them. Ukyo did not speak
glaring hard at Kodachi. The Kuno sibling gulped then grinned.
“Excellent party don’t you think?” she said.
“What in the nine-plus-hells do you think you are doing?” growled
Ukyo.
“Oooh… nothing ‘odd’ at the moment if that’s what you are eluding
too.”
“Bull, Kodachi! There are people standing around this bar at
thirty and sixty degree angles, some marking time like a needle on a
metronome and you claim nothing ‘odd’?”
“Nothing I’m not used too.”
Ukyo tensed, holding her arms tight to her sides restraining the
urge to throttle this woman. She finally found herself and looked at
Kodachi again.
“If I didn’t have a priority job for you right now, I’d be back
there slapping you around like a lump of silly-putty!”
“I’m only filling the request I am receiving. And the tips are
flowing—.”
“Making money too… how much… never mind!”
Taking a pause, Ukyo cut her eyes from side to side checking for
unwanted ear. Kodachi sensed what she was doing and said, “Oh don’t
mind them. Even if they hear you they couldn’t say anything
understandable anyway. HOH Hoo, Hoo, Hoo, Hoo, Hoo!”
If to emphasize her point, one of the wavering drinkers at the
bar suddenly raised a hand up. “Bughluah, Whrgphagha mghuph
drmackughuph?” he blabbered at them.
“Yes, yes, sir. I’ll have it ready in a moment,” answered
Kodachi. The hard stare from Ukyo made her jump a bit. “Well, anyone
but me. In my line of hobbies, you have to be able to interpret
anything.”
Ukyo smirked leaning towards her. “Do you know or have anything
that can sober up a person in less than two seconds?”
It seemed like an odd request to Kodachi, eyeing Ukyo confused.
She thought, staring up at the ceiling while reviewing the myriad of
potions and concoctions that dwelled in her dark mind. Finally, she
looked back down at Ukyo.
“Not in two seconds, but maybe five.”
“Five?”
“About. Why would you want me to fix something so boring as that
up?”
“What do you think, Kodachi!”
Kodachi glanced around at her collection of drinkers and gasped.
“Noooo! I worked so hard on them. Please, let me keep them!”
“No, Kodachi. We need too—.”
GBLORPH!
The bubbling sound came from beneath the counter. Ukyo stepped
back franticly searching for the source. “Wha—! What was that, what
was that?” she said.
Calmly, Kodachi leaned back peering down at the shelf below. She
giggled and leaned forward again.
“Silly me. I left my latest mixture setting too long in the
container. It’s finally absorbed the plastic.” She looked down again.
“Hm. Should have used a metal shaker instead.”
GIRIK!
In a flash Ukyo gripped Kodachi by the front of her blouse with
both hands, pulling the mad Kuno up eye to eye with a vicious sneer.
Terror filled Kodachi’s eyes and then Ukyo said, “Do-you-know-how
to-make-this-drink?”
“…uh, yes?”
“Then make one.”
“…just one?”
Ukyo pulled Kodachi closer until their foreheads pressed
together. “One,” she growled just at the end of her tether.
“…okay.”
She let her go. “How long?”
“Oh, I’d say ten minutes. I need to get the ingredients for your
boring drink together first from the kitchen.”
“Make it five, and when you’re done kill that disgusting thing
you’ve made under the counter.”
“Its not disgusting… rather cute really.”
“Kodachi!”
“Okay, okay.”
Ukyo simmered down but continued to glare at Kodachi. “Five
minutes,” she finally said and walked away.
“Sheesh, such a hot head,” grumbled Kodachi. “I can’t wait to
sic Mister Turtle II on her. Now what do I need? Oh yes.” She looked
around the crowd until she spotted Konatsu serving drinks near by.
“Konatsu?” she called out drawing her attention. “Be a darling
and get me two cups of musabi, a raw egg, and one cup of fish oil.”
A series of bubbling stopped her, and then she added, “Oh yes,
and two pieces of cubed beef. Raw, dipped in teriyaki. I must feed my
pet. Hoh-ho, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo…”
* * * * *
Nabiki walked rapidly on her toes forced along by Vicky and the
steel grip she held her wrist in. She moaned with pain pleading for her
to stop but Vicky was not in a merciful mood at the moment. Kicking a
door to one of the rooms open, she thrust Nabiki inside.
“Ow!” whined Nabiki as Victoria followed, slamming the door shut
behind her. Nabiki shook her hand trying to clear away the pain and
numbing pin pricks. “You didn’t have to—OW! Y-y-you didn’t have to be
so darn rough on me? I would have come quietly.”
“You are lucky that is all I’ve done to you, Nabiki!” shouted
Vicky. “What have you brought into my home?”
“Huh?” Strange question, thought Nabiki.
Vicky stormed right up into her face. “One of your so-called
‘Maids’ was downstairs about five minutes ago doing a poor rendition of
a kabuki dance right in front of my Bonsai Clubs leading chairperson!”
“Really? Which one?”
“The little red-head!”
Oh damn! She must have seen Ranko when she was raving at Ryoga.
Nabiki drew back to get some distance and out of arms reach of the
enraged woman. Okay, Nabiki Tendo, time for you to do some quick lying
and it had better be convincing.
“Oh, Ranko. I’m so sorry, Vicky. It must have been time for her
medicine. Ooo, I thought we could keep her from going into one of her
modes.”
“Modes? What do you mean ‘Modes’?”
Sadly, Nabiki turned away pretending to be worried and repeatedly
wrung her hands. “You see… well, Ranko is a nice girl and an old
friend, but she has trouble staying together when she’s around people.”
Vicky’s mouth dropped open with disbelief. “You mean this girl
is… crazy?”
No, no, no, no!” replied Nabiki, waving her hands to calm the
woman as she turned around. “She’s not crazy. Just ah, more than one
person.”
“So this girl has a split personality. You’re right, Nabiki,
she’s not crazy, she’s insane and I want her out of this house!”
“We can’t kick her out. Ranko will take it the wrong way and
possibly kill herself.”
That hit the right button; Vicky closed her eyes and let out a
sad moan of distress. Great, sentiment thought Nabiki and she poured it
on.
“Ranko has lost so many jobs because of this. We barely were
able to stop her the last time this happened. So you see, she wants to
fit in and she really tries hard. Please, Vicky, don’t make me have too
go and tell her she’s been fired again. It would kill her.”
Vicky glared at Nabiki, but her feelings would not allow her to
do what she wanted to do. “Did she have to dance in front of Mrs.
Iwamoto?” she said, rubbing her forehead to relieve her stress.
“Her bouts hit suddenly and without warning.”
“I’ll say.” Vicky eyed her again. “You have her medicine?”
Uh-oh.
“Ah, no I believe Kasumi is holding it for her.”
“Hm. Then we better go and get it and give it to Ranko before
she has another episode.”
“Yeah, we better.”
“You should have told me about this before hand, Nabiki. I do
hope nothing bad becomes of this.”
With her best pout, Nabiki looked sadly down at the floor. “I’m
sorry,” she said.
It seemed unlikely, but Vicky accepted Nabiki’s apology. She
smirked and opened the door. Nabiki inwardly sighed with relief,
grateful that she could spin such a tale and keep a straight face.
There still was the matter of ‘medicine’, but that could be covered
later; following Vicky out the room.
At the top of the steps Vicky suddenly stopped Nabiki. “Let me
tell you this though, Nabiki Tendo. If I get kicked out of the Bonsai
Club, I will personally clip the chains around your ankles.”
Nabiki gulped, and they went back down to the party. Ranko stood
just inside the doorway when they arrived and greeted them with a smile.
Vicky drew back, smirking at the woman. Just then though the crowd
Akari came rushing in. She appeared to be frantic, looking around in
desperation for someone. That someone happened to be Nabiki and when
she spotted her she ran over.
“Kitchen! Swinging! Don’t do this, don’t do that! Butter! No
Butter! Taste great, less filling! Kitchen!” she said.
The three exchanged looks and then Nabiki placed her hands on
Akari’s shoulder to settle her down. “What are you talking about,
Akari?”
Akari drew in a few breaths before answering. “Kasumi and that
French chef-guy! They’re fighting!”
With a loud moan, Vicky immediately hiked her dress up and ran
for the kitchen, Akari bolting after her while Nabiki stood in stunned
silence.
“This is not part of the plan. No, it’s not!” she muttered and
then went after them.
* * * * *
Bursting through the kitchen door, Vicky let out a cry just
barely ducking under a large stir spoon sailing through the air. Loud
shouts and cries could be heard and over near one of the stoves Kasumi
stood with mitts on wielding a ladle in her left hand and the lid from a
pot in her right. Across from her shifting and darting from side to
side, Jean-Claude wielded a knife and a small plate of butter trying to
get past her. Another wild swing from Kasumi drove him back and he
snarled at her.
“STEU-PID TENDEU! You do not know the proper way to season feud!
Stand aside, weu-man and let a true chef show you how!”
Kasumi gawked at him, insulted by his comment. “WHAT? You keep
your foul seasonings away from my dishes, you, you, you FOOD MURDERER!”
“MEUDER? PHEATH! I spit upon your silly insult you call
cooking! Get out of the way!”
Ladle and knife flashed, Kasumi blocking the plate of butter with
the lid as they clashed slinging more utensils around the kitchen.
Vicky and Akari stood too stunned at the spectacle to react and then
Nabiki entered. She stopped sharply, winching as the scene.
“What is going on here?” she said.
Kasumi managed to get some leverage on the plate of butter and
deftly flick it and its contents away straight towards the door. Nabiki
sneered and stepped aside and then the door opened again; Tanyun walking
in.
“Do I hear a—?”
KA-SPLAT!
In deathly silence, Tanyun stood with the soft yellow mess
sliding slowly down the right side of his face. Everyone stopped and
stared then the door hit him in the back. He calmly stepped aside and
Ukyo stuck her head in.
“Hey, what going on in he— Ewww, gross.”
Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, Tanyun began to wipe the
offensive goo from his face. “Butter,” he said, “I hate butter.”
That broke Vicky from her stupor and she stormed across the
kitchen. “JEAN-CLAUDE! What in the hell are you two fighting about?”
“It is this Ten-deu fool! She does not know the first thing
about proper feud preparations!”
Kasumi cried out and lunged towards the chef. “Nabiki!” shouted
Vicky, and the girls ran over pulling the raging woman away.
“Kasumi! Kasumi, what has gotten into you?” asked Nabiki.
“(Huff, huff, huff) He, he, he wants to ruin my cooking!”
Nabiki spun around glaring at the chef. “She is supposed to be
cooking this meal, not you!”
“BAH! There is no flav-eur in her so-called ‘cooking’! No
proper amounts of seasoning. No salts, no spices! It is all bland,
(BLEECH!), bland, bland, bland!”
“What are you talking about?” asked Vicky.
Kasumi huffed loudly. “He wanted to put butter in my Tempura and
Nikujaga dishes!” she shouted.
“Aww! Now that’s worth a butt-whooping even to me,” said Ukyo.
“That’s just what I was doing!” exclaimed Kasumi, lunging for
Jean-Claude again.
Ukyo and Akari barely managed to hold her back. With Nabiki’s
help they forced her to the other side of the kitchen. “Calm down, big
sister!” shouted Nabiki. She did, but maintained a level glare upon
Jean-Claude. Seeing that things were for the moment under control,
Nabiki briefly fixed herself and turned around.
“Vicky?” she said, and that was all she needed to say.
Victoria snatched her chef up by the front of his collar, pushing
away from the stoves and preparation area. “You are not supposed to be
fighting with Miss Tendo!” she shouted at him.
“But Miss Saffron, she is wasting good feud, and, and I could
prepare meals three times better than what she is doing! Just allow me
to go and correct her steu-pid mistakes!”
“You stay away from my meals! I’ll kill you!”
Another exchange of shouts and insults erupted, finally ended by
a loud cry from Vicky. “BOTH OF YOU STOP IT!” she shouted.
Vicky stood chest heaving every bit resembling an enraged lioness
cutting vicious glanced between the two camps. She turned to
Jean-Claude and pointed too the far corner of the kitchen. “You, over
there! Don’t interfere, don’t try to mess with the meals, do nothing
but what you are supposed to do and keep an eye on things!”
Jean-Claude started to say something but a fierce commanding gaze
sent him slinking back for the far corner. Vicky whirled and pointed at
Kasumi.
“You! Cook!” she commanded.
Kasumi timidly slipped past Vicky and resumed fixing up her
dishes. She chanced a hateful look over at Jean-Claude but Vicky
quickly cut that off with a firm shout and glare. Things temporarily
returned to normal and the tension slowly ebbed away. Ukyo began to
giggle but that brought Victoria around. She and Akari dashed out the
kitchen.
“Not bad,” said Nabiki. That drew a stern look from Vicky and
Nabiki flinched. “Okay, things can be better.”
“They better get better,” replied Vicky. “Tanyun! Stay in here
and keep an eye on things.”
“You want me too stay in here? Are you kidding? He threw butter
in my face; I’m going to kick his ass.”
“Tanyun, will you please—!” Vicky tensed, trembling fist held up
as she fought to control herself. “Tanyun, just stay in here and keep
them apart, okay?”
He smirked but nodded and Vicky sighed. The sudden headache she
had throbbed for attention and she left. Nabiki did not like the fact
that now there was another set of eyes in the kitchen but the damage was
done and would be dealt with as needed. She could see this did not
please Tanyun and the way both Nabiki and Jean-Claude were sneaking dark
looks at each other foretold more mayhem to come.
“I better get back out to the party,” she said to Tanyun.
“Yeah, you do that, Nabiki,” he replied. “This is all your fault
and I should be kicking your tail right now.”
“NEEAYYHH!”
Nabiki stuck her tongue out at him and scampered out the door.
* * * * *
Out in the dining room, Ukyo checked up on the time. It was late
and still no word from Doctor Tofu. What could have happened to them,
and now she had to figure some way of getting Kodachi’s sobering
concoction up to Ryoga without anyone’s knowledge. With the recent
disruptions, that was going to be difficult. Maeda surly would grow
suspicious and tighten up his security inside.
Making her way back behind the serving table where Shampoo stood
doling out food, she picked up a pair of tongs and began to help.
“All quiet here?” she whispered low.
“Is quieter than in kitchen,” replied Shampoo.
Ukyo rolled her eyes. She served a few more of the guest then
continued.
“You think that’s bad, we’ve now got a problem with Akane.”
“What silly tomboy do now?”
“She got herself drunk.”
Shampoo started, missed the plate being held out before her. The
serving dropping into a sauce dish splattering drops on the table. She
apologized, wiping up the mess.
“You kidding?” she finally said when she was done.
“Nope. She and Ryoga are upstairs right waiting for me to
somehow get Kodachi’s supposed sobering mix up to them.”
“Kodachi? We dead, we all dead!”
“Don’t start panicking, Shampoo.”
“No panic you say? We rely on Kodachi to sober up drunk Akane
and you say no panic?”
She had a good point, but what else could they do? Ukyo shrugged
and Shampoo murmured something to herself, shuddering.
“What Doctor Tofu say to do?”
“Hm, that’s the other thing. We’ve haven’t heard from him or
Hikaru yet.”
Shampoo’s breaths picked up. “No, we dead, we dead!”
“Not yet, Shampoo, so get a grip on yourself.”
She settled down, but Ukyo could see the paleness in her face and
skin. Entertaining, but it might be best to change the subject before
Shampoo decided to leave.
“So how’s Mousse holding up?”
Shampoo looked over to where Mousse moved through the crowd
delivering drinks and snacks. He finally stopped his whimpering but
would glance frequently over his shoulders all too aware of the still
lusting men that followed discreetly behind.
“He better, but still being chased,” she replied with a giggle.
Ukyo giggled as well. “He sure did turn out good.”
“Is nice looking. Keeps complaining about feet hurting though.”
That brought another giggle from them.
Ukyo glanced at her watch. “Oops, got ‘a go pick up Kodachi’s
drink. Keep an eye on things here.”
“You bet.”
Ukyo went off and Shampoo continued serving. She chanced a look
up and saw that Mousse was making his way back to the table to refill
his tray. For a second she turned her attention away and then a high
pitched squeal drew her back around. It was Mousse standing rigid in
the crowd, his chin to his chest and visibly shaking. People around him
stopped and stared but he remained oblivious to the sudden attention,
making brief whimpers as he did.
“Moussa?” called Shampoo, coming around the table.
Mousse was whimpering steadily now. Shampoo placed a hand on his
shoulder and he slowly looked up. Tears streamed down his face.
“Moussa, what wrong?”
“…i…i… shampoo…i’ve been defiled…”
“Defiled? What you mean defiled?”
Mousse whimpered again before answering. “…i…i’ve been…
grabbed…”
“Grabbed? Grabbed where?”
“…my butt… someone s-s-squeezed my butt!”
Shampoo’s mouth dropped open in shock. She looked around at the
crowd and then slowly started to smile. “We do to good of job on you,”
she said and hung her head hiding her snickers.
“…this is not funny, shampoo…!!! i have been felt-up by some,
some guy and all you can do is laugh…!!!!”
“Is quite funny.”
“…shampoo!!!....”
Mousse began sobbing and Shampoo pulled him close while trying
hard not to burst out laughing. She knew she would need help for this
and then Nabiki appeared.
Oh great, another disaster, she thought. Nabiki asked Shampoo
what was wrong. Shampoo whispered her explanation in Nabiki’s ear and
she pulled back in surprise.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha… I mean, What? Who did it?”
“We not know (snicker) Moussa not say.”
“…i hear you two laughing!... this is not funny!!!...”
Just then, Vicky came in. She spotted the gathered crowd,
Nabiki and her maids at the center and immediately sensed more trouble
was afoot. “And I just got rid of this headache too,” she muttered,
rubbing the side of her head.
Shampoo stood holding Mousse closer to her, trying to hide her
joy unsuccessfully. Meanwhile, Nabiki stood gazing around at the crowd
with her best angry expression, ready to tear into the men around them.
She did not have too as Vicky forced her way through them.
“Okay, what is it this time?” she said.
“One of your male leeches here grabbed my girl,” answered Nabiki.
Victoria was stunned. “Grabbed her by the arm?”
“Her butt!”
“And got big hand-full of booty too!” Shampoo cheerfully added.
A firm kick from Nabiki silenced her.
The fury rushed to Vicky’s head, and she exceeded Nabiki’s anger,
spinning around to face the crowd. “Which one of you ANIMALS grabbed
this girl?”
Audible gulps and looks of fear appeared on the male half of the
crowd, and they started to casually drift off away from the potential
danger and bodily harm. Chino made his way up and stood next to Mousse
and Shampoo. He gazed down upon them oddly, and then placed a gently
hand upon Mousse’s shoulder.
“Tell me who did this despicable act, Moussa,” he said. “Point
him out and I will trash him like never before. Just point him out to
me.”
Shampoo eyed the hand on Mousse’s shoulder, but all Mousse could
do was whimper. “…i don’t know… i didn’t see who it was…”
“Oh you poor dear,” said Vicky. She shook her head and then
rounded on Nabiki. “You’re to blame for all of this!”
“Me?”
“Yes, you! Dressing these girls up like this. I hope you’re
paying them well for allowing such a degrading exhibition.”
“She paying, alright,” said Shampoo, “Nabiki dipping deep into
pocket for our help.”
Another kick silenced her again.
“I can’t help if your guests are horny, Vicky,” said Nabiki. “I
thought such company would behave better than this.”
“Not when you tempt them, and this is definitely temptation,
Missy!”
Before an argument could erupt, Mousse quietly called out to
Nabiki. “…i, i need a place to be alone for a moment… nabiki…please?”
“Sure, Dear,” answered Vicky. “Nabiki, why don’t you two take
Moussa upstairs and let her calm down. I’ll help with things down here
until you return.”
Nabiki agreed and Shampoo shepherded the trembling Moussa along
towards the stairs. Nabiki started to follow, but then Vicky’s
vice-like grip latched on to her arm.
“And when you get back; You, Me, Den. Understood?”
Grimacing, Nabiki nodded and the grip disappeared. Ow, she
muttered and rubbed her arm as she went after Shampoo and Mousse.
* * * * *
“Where is it?” snapped Ukyo when she reached the bar. Kodachi,
pouring whiskey into several glasses on the bar, looked up and then
smiled. She stopped pouring and reached down under the bar to produce a
small shot glass. An oily opaque-green liquid filled the glass, covered
by a piece of tin foil secured with a small rubber band. Ukyo picked it
up, eyeing it with some dread and then frowned.
“This little bit is going to sober up Akane?” she asked.
“Totally,” replied Kodachi.
Ukyo narrowed a brow and went to open the top, but Kodachi
quickly stopped her. “It will lose it’s… (hoo, hoo, hoo) … fizz if you
do that.”
“Fizz?”
“Yep. All you have to do is open her mouth, throw it in and it
will do the rest.”
“Hm,” grunted Ukyo. Her eyes cut back to Kodachi. “Will it kill
her?”
“Unfortunately, no. But if you want me to—?”
“Not a chance. Okay, I better get this up to her then. How I
don’t know, but we will.”
“Just remember three things.”
“What?”
“Drink-turn-puke.”
“In that order?”
“That fast.”
That sounded painful, Ukyo glad it wasn’t she who had to drink
this foul looking liquid. Quickly she made her way to the front room
just in time to catch Nabiki, Shampoo and Mousse as they were about to
go up the steps.
“Nabiki,” she called joining them. “I got the stuff Kodachi made
for Akane. All we need now is… what’s wrong with Mousse?”
Nabiki leaned over and whispered into Ukyo’s ear. The brief
burst of laughter startled the guests below.
“Please, Ukyo. One disaster at a time, okay,” said Nabiki,
pulling her into the room.
Mousse in the meantime pulled away from Shampoo and stood
motionless with his back to them at the center of the room. Nabiki and
Ukyo came up beside her and they watched him for a moment wondering what
was going through his mind.
“Nabiki?” he suddenly called out.
“Uh, yes, Mousse?”
Another moment of silence, and then in a flash Mousse spun
around, rage written deep on his face.
“I QUIT!” he shouted. “DO YOU HEAR ME? I QUIT, QUIT, QUIT,
QUIT, QUIT!”
“Mousse, lower your voice before Maeda or his people hear you!”
“I don’t care if Tokyo hears me! I-AM-THROUGH!”
The girls drew back from the raging man hopping about like some
lunatic with his pants on fire. Ukyo chuckled, beaming brightly at
Nabiki.
“I’m so glad you brought me,” she said.
Nabiki rolled her eyes, ignoring her. “Mousse, you can’t leave
now. We need you!”
Mousse dropped into a menacing stance, hands bared ready to leap.
“I-have-had-my-butt-SQUEEZED-by-a-DUDE!” he said, teeth clenched tight.
“You don’t need me! You need ED WOODS!”
“(Feh) Don’t be silly, Mousse,” said Shampoo, “Ed Wood dead.”
“IT DOSEN’T MATTER! I am not going back down there again!”
“You have too, Mousse,” pleaded Nabiki. “Vicky will be expecting
to see you again.”
“Then tell her I quit! Oh and I thought seeing that picture of
Tatewaki naked was bad.”
Shampoo gazed up at the ceiling in thought. “Hm. Actually, that
was interesting angle of Tatewaki Kuno’s—.”
“YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” shouted Mousse. He turned his gaze back
at Nabiki and growled. “Gimme those key, Nabiki!”
Nabiki gulped and gently slipped behind Ukyo. “Mousse, I really
need your help. We’ve gone this far.”
“And some guy went too far with his fingers! I want those keys!”
“Wow, that much booty?” said Ukyo.
“Don’t agitate him!” snapped Nabiki.
“I would quit too if strange man grab Shampoo’s butt,” said
Shampoo.
“You’re not helping either!” shouted Nabiki, “Stay out of this!”
Mousse began stalking around Ukyo and Nabiki naturally shifted
the opposite way to avoid him. She grimaced as they circled around and
she frantically looked around for help.
“Don’t just stand there, Ukyo! Help me!”
Nah, nah, girlfriend. You got yourself into this one; I’m just
here to watch the show.”
“Ah, you traitor! Shampoo!”
“(Humph!) Shampoo told to stay out of it.”
“I take it back!”
“No, too late!”
Mousse continued to circle around Ukyo with Nabiki maintaining
her distance as she struggled to think up a way out of this mess.
“Mousse,” she pleaded, “Please, please I need you down there!”
“There’s only one way I’ll go back down there, Nabiki!”
“How?”
“Give me a cattle prod!”
“I don’t have one of those!”
“Gimme the keys, Nabiki!”
He lunged trying to reach around Ukyo but Nabiki stepped away
from his reach. “Ukyo! Are you actually just going to stand there?”
“Yep. This boy’s pissed and I’m having so much fun watching you
panic for a change (BWAHAHAHAH!!!!).”
No help there, Nabiki squealed shifting away from another attempt
from Mousse. She backed away as he came stalking around Ukyo.
“KEEEYYYYSSS!” he hissed at her.
“Uh… uh, okay, Mousse. I’ll make it worth your while to stay!”
she said inching back.
“KEEEYYYYYSSSS!!!!!”
“…uh, uh, I’ll, I’ll… oh… I’ll not only forget the debt you owe
me, but I’ll even refund the entire amount back to you!”
Shampoo suddenly let out a cry and they turned to see her with
face contorted, grimacing with pain as she clutched at her chest. The
Amazon Woman dropped to her knees and Mousse ran over to catch her.
“Shampoo, Shampoo! What’s wrong, dear?”
Shampoo sat huffing for a minute before answering. “…is nothing…
just heart attack that all… did shampoo hear greedy nabiki right?”
Mousse looked back at Nabiki. “Every Yen?” he asked.
Nabiki felt like having a heart attack herself, but she forced it
back and reluctantly nodded. Shampoo tensed again, the brief spasm of
pain passing quickly, and then she reached up to Mousse.
“Moussa… you not pass this opportunity, eh?”
He knew what she meant; Mousse hung his head and began to cry.
It was a hard decision and he looked around stopping at Ukyo in search
of guidance. She too had tears in her eyes but for an obviously
different reason and he knew there was no help from that sector. No
other choice, Mousse reflecting on his past insult briefly before
answering.
“I’m doing this for you and the Nekohatten, Shampoo!” he told
her.
“Is good cause.”
Relieved, Nabiki sighed wishing that luck would somehow change
and go their way. One problem down, another one to tackle, she thought
shifting back to the Akane debacle. Ukyo stood wide-eyed staring at her
barely able to hold back her laughs.
“Spare me, Ukyo,” said Nabiki, smirking at her.
“(Miff!) Okay!”
Nabiki paused to regain her thoughts. “Mousse, you and Shampoo
head back downstairs. You stay with Ranko. At least with less of a
crowd you won’t have to worry about anymore groping.”
Mousse helped Shampoo up. “You could at least unlock these
torture devices you have on me!” he said as they passed, “My feet are
killing me!”
“With the refund (cough) you’re getting, you can afford a billion
foot massages; now get back downstairs before Vicky comes up here
looking for us.”
They left and Nabiki said to Ukyo, “Akane?”
“(Mirph!) Just a second,” she said, pressing the commlink on her
ear.
[Ryoga?]
[Ukyo! I’m so glad you called.]
[Why, what’s up?]
[It’s Akane. I think she’s dead!]
Downstairs, Ranko stiffened at the news, eyes wide staring out
into empty space. She turned ignoring the calls from the guests she was
serving and headed back out the doorway. Passing her tray to Mousse
without pause, she stepped into the walk-in closet and closed the door.
[What do you mean my wife is dead?] she said.
[Ranko? Akane… she’s dead!]
[Describe ‘dead’.]
Ryoga stared at Akane searching for words to explain her new
condition. She stood in the middle of Maeda’s office like some stone
statue, body leaning to her left with her head tipped in the same
direction. Both eyes were glassy, lids drooping low and her mouth hung
open drool dribbling down her chin.
[She just… standing there… I mean just… standing there.]
[Oh. She’s not dead. She’s just in phase one.]
[Phase One?]
[Yeah. Her body is trying to catch up with her so it shuts down
momentarily.]
[So this is a good thing, right?] asked Ukyo.
[No. When her body catches up with her, then she goes into phase
two.]
[What’s that?] asked Ryoga.
[She starts singing.]
Ukyo burst out laughing, doubling over. A smack on the head made
her look up and Nabiki made a questioning gesture wanting to know what
was going on.
“(NEHEHHEHEH)… Akane is in phase one, going to phase two,” she
said.
“No! Singing!” exclaimed Nabiki, drawing more laughs form Ukyo.
[Akane can’t start singing!] Ryoga said. [You know what happened
the last time she tried that…]
[…cleared out an entire karaoke bar. Even babies were
high-stepping it out the door.] finished Ranko.
“I remember that night!” exclaimed Ukyo.
But Nabiki found no humor in the situation at all. She paced
fretfully around realizing that this whole affair might just be about
done if her sister began singing like a dying hyena in the midday sun.
“We’ve got to stop her. Oh no! We’ve got to stop her! If she
starts singing all the guests will flee the area, and worse, Maeda and
his cronies will come rushing upstairs and catch them in the act.”
Ukyo pulled herself up to her knees, huffing for air. She
giggled and then stood back up. “Okay, things haven’t got that bad yet,
Nabiki. Just calm down,” she said.
“I’m about to be fish-food!”
“Not yet!” Ukyo activated the comlink again. [Ryoga!]
[Yeah?]
[We have the stuff that might bring Akane around.]
[Great… wait not so great. How are you going to get it up here?]
Ukyo smirked then a thought hit her. “Did I see a dumbwaiter in
the kitchen?” she asked.
“The dumbwaiter!” replied Nabiki, snapping her fingers.
[Ryoga, there should be a dumbwaiter somewhere in that room.
Find it and stand by.]
[Okay.]
Ukyo smiled. “See, that’s all to it.”
“Gee, thanks Ukyo. Here I was thinking I’d have to do all of the
planning by myself.”
“No, no, Miss Tendo. That was only part one.”
“It was?”
“Yep. All you have to do now is think up a way to distract that
Jean-Claude-choke-a-name guy and that that creep Tanyun who are still in
the kitchen.”
Beetling her brows, Ukyo winked and headed out the door leaving
Nabiki speechless.
“Ooo, you bitch!” she snarled and hung her head.
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Back down stairs, Nabiki and Ukyo caught sight of Ranko steadily
making her way through the guest taking request and serving drinks like
normal, except for a dark scowl that made more then a few people afraid
to approach her. Nabiki gave Ukyo a light tap, nodding questioningly to
Ranko.
“Well, you’ve got to admit she does have a good reason to be
upset,” said Ukyo.
“Tell her to drop it now before she really upsets someone.”
A nod from Ukyo satisfied Nabiki and she was getting ready to
make her way to the bar when someone’s hand grabbed her by the left
wrist, twisted her hand painfully back with a firm grip. She winced and
looked back over her shoulder to find Vicky there and she was not very
happy.
“Oh, Vicky, OW, OW, OW, OW, uh is there something wrong?”
Vicky faked a smile and moved up close behind Nabiki. “You, me,
upstairs now, young lady,” she hissed through clenched teeth.
“Oh, a meeting (Owww), I, I, I guess this is important!”
With Vicky guiding her along, Nabiki told Ukyo. “Take care of
that little problem for us?”
“Uh, sure. No worries.”
Another firm twist and the two women disappeared back up the
stairs leaving Ukyo now in the hot seat. She let out a deep breath then
began searching for Ranko, but the girl had vanished. Great, I’ll have
to work that problem after I go see Kodachi, she thought.
Making her way politely through the milling throng of guests,
Ukyo finally made her way to the bar. Kodachi was hard at play,
currently shaking a tumbler like a member of a reggae band, chortling
deviously as she did. There were a few people standing around, some at
odd angles, others wavering and Ukyo knew Kodachi was again drifting off
from her instructions.
Kodachi saw Ukyo heading towards her and paused briefly in
mid-shake before placing the shaker down under the bar. When she
reached the bar a hush filled the air around them. Ukyo did not speak
glaring hard at Kodachi. The Kuno sibling gulped then grinned.
“Excellent party don’t you think?” she said.
“What in the nine-plus-hells do you think you are doing?” growled
Ukyo.
“Oooh… nothing ‘odd’ at the moment if that’s what you are eluding
too.”
“Bull, Kodachi! There are people standing around this bar at
thirty and sixty degree angles, some marking time like a needle on a
metronome and you claim nothing ‘odd’?”
“Nothing I’m not used too.”
Ukyo tensed, holding her arms tight to her sides restraining the
urge to throttle this woman. She finally found herself and looked at
Kodachi again.
“If I didn’t have a priority job for you right now, I’d be back
there slapping you around like a lump of silly-putty!”
“I’m only filling the request I am receiving. And the tips are
flowing—.”
“Making money too… how much… never mind!”
Taking a pause, Ukyo cut her eyes from side to side checking for
unwanted ear. Kodachi sensed what she was doing and said, “Oh don’t
mind them. Even if they hear you they couldn’t say anything
understandable anyway. HOH Hoo, Hoo, Hoo, Hoo, Hoo!”
If to emphasize her point, one of the wavering drinkers at the
bar suddenly raised a hand up. “Bughluah, Whrgphagha mghuph
drmackughuph?” he blabbered at them.
“Yes, yes, sir. I’ll have it ready in a moment,” answered
Kodachi. The hard stare from Ukyo made her jump a bit. “Well, anyone
but me. In my line of hobbies, you have to be able to interpret
anything.”
Ukyo smirked leaning towards her. “Do you know or have anything
that can sober up a person in less than two seconds?”
It seemed like an odd request to Kodachi, eyeing Ukyo confused.
She thought, staring up at the ceiling while reviewing the myriad of
potions and concoctions that dwelled in her dark mind. Finally, she
looked back down at Ukyo.
“Not in two seconds, but maybe five.”
“Five?”
“About. Why would you want me to fix something so boring as that
up?”
“What do you think, Kodachi!”
Kodachi glanced around at her collection of drinkers and gasped.
“Noooo! I worked so hard on them. Please, let me keep them!”
“No, Kodachi. We need too—.”
GBLORPH!
The bubbling sound came from beneath the counter. Ukyo stepped
back franticly searching for the source. “Wha—! What was that, what
was that?” she said.
Calmly, Kodachi leaned back peering down at the shelf below. She
giggled and leaned forward again.
“Silly me. I left my latest mixture setting too long in the
container. It’s finally absorbed the plastic.” She looked down again.
“Hm. Should have used a metal shaker instead.”
GIRIK!
In a flash Ukyo gripped Kodachi by the front of her blouse with
both hands, pulling the mad Kuno up eye to eye with a vicious sneer.
Terror filled Kodachi’s eyes and then Ukyo said, “Do-you-know-how
to-make-this-drink?”
“…uh, yes?”
“Then make one.”
“…just one?”
Ukyo pulled Kodachi closer until their foreheads pressed
together. “One,” she growled just at the end of her tether.
“…okay.”
She let her go. “How long?”
“Oh, I’d say ten minutes. I need to get the ingredients for your
boring drink together first from the kitchen.”
“Make it five, and when you’re done kill that disgusting thing
you’ve made under the counter.”
“Its not disgusting… rather cute really.”
“Kodachi!”
“Okay, okay.”
Ukyo simmered down but continued to glare at Kodachi. “Five
minutes,” she finally said and walked away.
“Sheesh, such a hot head,” grumbled Kodachi. “I can’t wait to
sic Mister Turtle II on her. Now what do I need? Oh yes.” She looked
around the crowd until she spotted Konatsu serving drinks near by.
“Konatsu?” she called out drawing her attention. “Be a darling
and get me two cups of musabi, a raw egg, and one cup of fish oil.”
A series of bubbling stopped her, and then she added, “Oh yes,
and two pieces of cubed beef. Raw, dipped in teriyaki. I must feed my
pet. Hoh-ho, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo…”
* * * * *
Nabiki walked rapidly on her toes forced along by Vicky and the
steel grip she held her wrist in. She moaned with pain pleading for her
to stop but Vicky was not in a merciful mood at the moment. Kicking a
door to one of the rooms open, she thrust Nabiki inside.
“Ow!” whined Nabiki as Victoria followed, slamming the door shut
behind her. Nabiki shook her hand trying to clear away the pain and
numbing pin pricks. “You didn’t have to—OW! Y-y-you didn’t have to be
so darn rough on me? I would have come quietly.”
“You are lucky that is all I’ve done to you, Nabiki!” shouted
Vicky. “What have you brought into my home?”
“Huh?” Strange question, thought Nabiki.
Vicky stormed right up into her face. “One of your so-called
‘Maids’ was downstairs about five minutes ago doing a poor rendition of
a kabuki dance right in front of my Bonsai Clubs leading chairperson!”
“Really? Which one?”
“The little red-head!”
Oh damn! She must have seen Ranko when she was raving at Ryoga.
Nabiki drew back to get some distance and out of arms reach of the
enraged woman. Okay, Nabiki Tendo, time for you to do some quick lying
and it had better be convincing.
“Oh, Ranko. I’m so sorry, Vicky. It must have been time for her
medicine. Ooo, I thought we could keep her from going into one of her
modes.”
“Modes? What do you mean ‘Modes’?”
Sadly, Nabiki turned away pretending to be worried and repeatedly
wrung her hands. “You see… well, Ranko is a nice girl and an old
friend, but she has trouble staying together when she’s around people.”
Vicky’s mouth dropped open with disbelief. “You mean this girl
is… crazy?”
No, no, no, no!” replied Nabiki, waving her hands to calm the
woman as she turned around. “She’s not crazy. Just ah, more than one
person.”
“So this girl has a split personality. You’re right, Nabiki,
she’s not crazy, she’s insane and I want her out of this house!”
“We can’t kick her out. Ranko will take it the wrong way and
possibly kill herself.”
That hit the right button; Vicky closed her eyes and let out a
sad moan of distress. Great, sentiment thought Nabiki and she poured it
on.
“Ranko has lost so many jobs because of this. We barely were
able to stop her the last time this happened. So you see, she wants to
fit in and she really tries hard. Please, Vicky, don’t make me have too
go and tell her she’s been fired again. It would kill her.”
Vicky glared at Nabiki, but her feelings would not allow her to
do what she wanted to do. “Did she have to dance in front of Mrs.
Iwamoto?” she said, rubbing her forehead to relieve her stress.
“Her bouts hit suddenly and without warning.”
“I’ll say.” Vicky eyed her again. “You have her medicine?”
Uh-oh.
“Ah, no I believe Kasumi is holding it for her.”
“Hm. Then we better go and get it and give it to Ranko before
she has another episode.”
“Yeah, we better.”
“You should have told me about this before hand, Nabiki. I do
hope nothing bad becomes of this.”
With her best pout, Nabiki looked sadly down at the floor. “I’m
sorry,” she said.
It seemed unlikely, but Vicky accepted Nabiki’s apology. She
smirked and opened the door. Nabiki inwardly sighed with relief,
grateful that she could spin such a tale and keep a straight face.
There still was the matter of ‘medicine’, but that could be covered
later; following Vicky out the room.
At the top of the steps Vicky suddenly stopped Nabiki. “Let me
tell you this though, Nabiki Tendo. If I get kicked out of the Bonsai
Club, I will personally clip the chains around your ankles.”
Nabiki gulped, and they went back down to the party. Ranko stood
just inside the doorway when they arrived and greeted them with a smile.
Vicky drew back, smirking at the woman. Just then though the crowd
Akari came rushing in. She appeared to be frantic, looking around in
desperation for someone. That someone happened to be Nabiki and when
she spotted her she ran over.
“Kitchen! Swinging! Don’t do this, don’t do that! Butter! No
Butter! Taste great, less filling! Kitchen!” she said.
The three exchanged looks and then Nabiki placed her hands on
Akari’s shoulder to settle her down. “What are you talking about,
Akari?”
Akari drew in a few breaths before answering. “Kasumi and that
French chef-guy! They’re fighting!”
With a loud moan, Vicky immediately hiked her dress up and ran
for the kitchen, Akari bolting after her while Nabiki stood in stunned
silence.
“This is not part of the plan. No, it’s not!” she muttered and
then went after them.
* * * * *
Bursting through the kitchen door, Vicky let out a cry just
barely ducking under a large stir spoon sailing through the air. Loud
shouts and cries could be heard and over near one of the stoves Kasumi
stood with mitts on wielding a ladle in her left hand and the lid from a
pot in her right. Across from her shifting and darting from side to
side, Jean-Claude wielded a knife and a small plate of butter trying to
get past her. Another wild swing from Kasumi drove him back and he
snarled at her.
“STEU-PID TENDEU! You do not know the proper way to season feud!
Stand aside, weu-man and let a true chef show you how!”
Kasumi gawked at him, insulted by his comment. “WHAT? You keep
your foul seasonings away from my dishes, you, you, you FOOD MURDERER!”
“MEUDER? PHEATH! I spit upon your silly insult you call
cooking! Get out of the way!”
Ladle and knife flashed, Kasumi blocking the plate of butter with
the lid as they clashed slinging more utensils around the kitchen.
Vicky and Akari stood too stunned at the spectacle to react and then
Nabiki entered. She stopped sharply, winching as the scene.
“What is going on here?” she said.
Kasumi managed to get some leverage on the plate of butter and
deftly flick it and its contents away straight towards the door. Nabiki
sneered and stepped aside and then the door opened again; Tanyun walking
in.
“Do I hear a—?”
KA-SPLAT!
In deathly silence, Tanyun stood with the soft yellow mess
sliding slowly down the right side of his face. Everyone stopped and
stared then the door hit him in the back. He calmly stepped aside and
Ukyo stuck her head in.
“Hey, what going on in he— Ewww, gross.”
Pulling a handkerchief from his pocket, Tanyun began to wipe the
offensive goo from his face. “Butter,” he said, “I hate butter.”
That broke Vicky from her stupor and she stormed across the
kitchen. “JEAN-CLAUDE! What in the hell are you two fighting about?”
“It is this Ten-deu fool! She does not know the first thing
about proper feud preparations!”
Kasumi cried out and lunged towards the chef. “Nabiki!” shouted
Vicky, and the girls ran over pulling the raging woman away.
“Kasumi! Kasumi, what has gotten into you?” asked Nabiki.
“(Huff, huff, huff) He, he, he wants to ruin my cooking!”
Nabiki spun around glaring at the chef. “She is supposed to be
cooking this meal, not you!”
“BAH! There is no flav-eur in her so-called ‘cooking’! No
proper amounts of seasoning. No salts, no spices! It is all bland,
(BLEECH!), bland, bland, bland!”
“What are you talking about?” asked Vicky.
Kasumi huffed loudly. “He wanted to put butter in my Tempura and
Nikujaga dishes!” she shouted.
“Aww! Now that’s worth a butt-whooping even to me,” said Ukyo.
“That’s just what I was doing!” exclaimed Kasumi, lunging for
Jean-Claude again.
Ukyo and Akari barely managed to hold her back. With Nabiki’s
help they forced her to the other side of the kitchen. “Calm down, big
sister!” shouted Nabiki. She did, but maintained a level glare upon
Jean-Claude. Seeing that things were for the moment under control,
Nabiki briefly fixed herself and turned around.
“Vicky?” she said, and that was all she needed to say.
Victoria snatched her chef up by the front of his collar, pushing
away from the stoves and preparation area. “You are not supposed to be
fighting with Miss Tendo!” she shouted at him.
“But Miss Saffron, she is wasting good feud, and, and I could
prepare meals three times better than what she is doing! Just allow me
to go and correct her steu-pid mistakes!”
“You stay away from my meals! I’ll kill you!”
Another exchange of shouts and insults erupted, finally ended by
a loud cry from Vicky. “BOTH OF YOU STOP IT!” she shouted.
Vicky stood chest heaving every bit resembling an enraged lioness
cutting vicious glanced between the two camps. She turned to
Jean-Claude and pointed too the far corner of the kitchen. “You, over
there! Don’t interfere, don’t try to mess with the meals, do nothing
but what you are supposed to do and keep an eye on things!”
Jean-Claude started to say something but a fierce commanding gaze
sent him slinking back for the far corner. Vicky whirled and pointed at
Kasumi.
“You! Cook!” she commanded.
Kasumi timidly slipped past Vicky and resumed fixing up her
dishes. She chanced a hateful look over at Jean-Claude but Vicky
quickly cut that off with a firm shout and glare. Things temporarily
returned to normal and the tension slowly ebbed away. Ukyo began to
giggle but that brought Victoria around. She and Akari dashed out the
kitchen.
“Not bad,” said Nabiki. That drew a stern look from Vicky and
Nabiki flinched. “Okay, things can be better.”
“They better get better,” replied Vicky. “Tanyun! Stay in here
and keep an eye on things.”
“You want me too stay in here? Are you kidding? He threw butter
in my face; I’m going to kick his ass.”
“Tanyun, will you please—!” Vicky tensed, trembling fist held up
as she fought to control herself. “Tanyun, just stay in here and keep
them apart, okay?”
He smirked but nodded and Vicky sighed. The sudden headache she
had throbbed for attention and she left. Nabiki did not like the fact
that now there was another set of eyes in the kitchen but the damage was
done and would be dealt with as needed. She could see this did not
please Tanyun and the way both Nabiki and Jean-Claude were sneaking dark
looks at each other foretold more mayhem to come.
“I better get back out to the party,” she said to Tanyun.
“Yeah, you do that, Nabiki,” he replied. “This is all your fault
and I should be kicking your tail right now.”
“NEEAYYHH!”
Nabiki stuck her tongue out at him and scampered out the door.
* * * * *
Out in the dining room, Ukyo checked up on the time. It was late
and still no word from Doctor Tofu. What could have happened to them,
and now she had to figure some way of getting Kodachi’s sobering
concoction up to Ryoga without anyone’s knowledge. With the recent
disruptions, that was going to be difficult. Maeda surly would grow
suspicious and tighten up his security inside.
Making her way back behind the serving table where Shampoo stood
doling out food, she picked up a pair of tongs and began to help.
“All quiet here?” she whispered low.
“Is quieter than in kitchen,” replied Shampoo.
Ukyo rolled her eyes. She served a few more of the guest then
continued.
“You think that’s bad, we’ve now got a problem with Akane.”
“What silly tomboy do now?”
“She got herself drunk.”
Shampoo started, missed the plate being held out before her. The
serving dropping into a sauce dish splattering drops on the table. She
apologized, wiping up the mess.
“You kidding?” she finally said when she was done.
“Nope. She and Ryoga are upstairs right waiting for me to
somehow get Kodachi’s supposed sobering mix up to them.”
“Kodachi? We dead, we all dead!”
“Don’t start panicking, Shampoo.”
“No panic you say? We rely on Kodachi to sober up drunk Akane
and you say no panic?”
She had a good point, but what else could they do? Ukyo shrugged
and Shampoo murmured something to herself, shuddering.
“What Doctor Tofu say to do?”
“Hm, that’s the other thing. We’ve haven’t heard from him or
Hikaru yet.”
Shampoo’s breaths picked up. “No, we dead, we dead!”
“Not yet, Shampoo, so get a grip on yourself.”
She settled down, but Ukyo could see the paleness in her face and
skin. Entertaining, but it might be best to change the subject before
Shampoo decided to leave.
“So how’s Mousse holding up?”
Shampoo looked over to where Mousse moved through the crowd
delivering drinks and snacks. He finally stopped his whimpering but
would glance frequently over his shoulders all too aware of the still
lusting men that followed discreetly behind.
“He better, but still being chased,” she replied with a giggle.
Ukyo giggled as well. “He sure did turn out good.”
“Is nice looking. Keeps complaining about feet hurting though.”
That brought another giggle from them.
Ukyo glanced at her watch. “Oops, got ‘a go pick up Kodachi’s
drink. Keep an eye on things here.”
“You bet.”
Ukyo went off and Shampoo continued serving. She chanced a look
up and saw that Mousse was making his way back to the table to refill
his tray. For a second she turned her attention away and then a high
pitched squeal drew her back around. It was Mousse standing rigid in
the crowd, his chin to his chest and visibly shaking. People around him
stopped and stared but he remained oblivious to the sudden attention,
making brief whimpers as he did.
“Moussa?” called Shampoo, coming around the table.
Mousse was whimpering steadily now. Shampoo placed a hand on his
shoulder and he slowly looked up. Tears streamed down his face.
“Moussa, what wrong?”
“…i…i… shampoo…i’ve been defiled…”
“Defiled? What you mean defiled?”
Mousse whimpered again before answering. “…i…i’ve been…
grabbed…”
“Grabbed? Grabbed where?”
“…my butt… someone s-s-squeezed my butt!”
Shampoo’s mouth dropped open in shock. She looked around at the
crowd and then slowly started to smile. “We do to good of job on you,”
she said and hung her head hiding her snickers.
“…this is not funny, shampoo…!!! i have been felt-up by some,
some guy and all you can do is laugh…!!!!”
“Is quite funny.”
“…shampoo!!!....”
Mousse began sobbing and Shampoo pulled him close while trying
hard not to burst out laughing. She knew she would need help for this
and then Nabiki appeared.
Oh great, another disaster, she thought. Nabiki asked Shampoo
what was wrong. Shampoo whispered her explanation in Nabiki’s ear and
she pulled back in surprise.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha… I mean, What? Who did it?”
“We not know (snicker) Moussa not say.”
“…i hear you two laughing!... this is not funny!!!...”
Just then, Vicky came in. She spotted the gathered crowd,
Nabiki and her maids at the center and immediately sensed more trouble
was afoot. “And I just got rid of this headache too,” she muttered,
rubbing the side of her head.
Shampoo stood holding Mousse closer to her, trying to hide her
joy unsuccessfully. Meanwhile, Nabiki stood gazing around at the crowd
with her best angry expression, ready to tear into the men around them.
She did not have too as Vicky forced her way through them.
“Okay, what is it this time?” she said.
“One of your male leeches here grabbed my girl,” answered Nabiki.
Victoria was stunned. “Grabbed her by the arm?”
“Her butt!”
“And got big hand-full of booty too!” Shampoo cheerfully added.
A firm kick from Nabiki silenced her.
The fury rushed to Vicky’s head, and she exceeded Nabiki’s anger,
spinning around to face the crowd. “Which one of you ANIMALS grabbed
this girl?”
Audible gulps and looks of fear appeared on the male half of the
crowd, and they started to casually drift off away from the potential
danger and bodily harm. Chino made his way up and stood next to Mousse
and Shampoo. He gazed down upon them oddly, and then placed a gently
hand upon Mousse’s shoulder.
“Tell me who did this despicable act, Moussa,” he said. “Point
him out and I will trash him like never before. Just point him out to
me.”
Shampoo eyed the hand on Mousse’s shoulder, but all Mousse could
do was whimper. “…i don’t know… i didn’t see who it was…”
“Oh you poor dear,” said Vicky. She shook her head and then
rounded on Nabiki. “You’re to blame for all of this!”
“Me?”
“Yes, you! Dressing these girls up like this. I hope you’re
paying them well for allowing such a degrading exhibition.”
“She paying, alright,” said Shampoo, “Nabiki dipping deep into
pocket for our help.”
Another kick silenced her again.
“I can’t help if your guests are horny, Vicky,” said Nabiki. “I
thought such company would behave better than this.”
“Not when you tempt them, and this is definitely temptation,
Missy!”
Before an argument could erupt, Mousse quietly called out to
Nabiki. “…i, i need a place to be alone for a moment… nabiki…please?”
“Sure, Dear,” answered Vicky. “Nabiki, why don’t you two take
Moussa upstairs and let her calm down. I’ll help with things down here
until you return.”
Nabiki agreed and Shampoo shepherded the trembling Moussa along
towards the stairs. Nabiki started to follow, but then Vicky’s
vice-like grip latched on to her arm.
“And when you get back; You, Me, Den. Understood?”
Grimacing, Nabiki nodded and the grip disappeared. Ow, she
muttered and rubbed her arm as she went after Shampoo and Mousse.
* * * * *
“Where is it?” snapped Ukyo when she reached the bar. Kodachi,
pouring whiskey into several glasses on the bar, looked up and then
smiled. She stopped pouring and reached down under the bar to produce a
small shot glass. An oily opaque-green liquid filled the glass, covered
by a piece of tin foil secured with a small rubber band. Ukyo picked it
up, eyeing it with some dread and then frowned.
“This little bit is going to sober up Akane?” she asked.
“Totally,” replied Kodachi.
Ukyo narrowed a brow and went to open the top, but Kodachi
quickly stopped her. “It will lose it’s… (hoo, hoo, hoo) … fizz if you
do that.”
“Fizz?”
“Yep. All you have to do is open her mouth, throw it in and it
will do the rest.”
“Hm,” grunted Ukyo. Her eyes cut back to Kodachi. “Will it kill
her?”
“Unfortunately, no. But if you want me to—?”
“Not a chance. Okay, I better get this up to her then. How I
don’t know, but we will.”
“Just remember three things.”
“What?”
“Drink-turn-puke.”
“In that order?”
“That fast.”
That sounded painful, Ukyo glad it wasn’t she who had to drink
this foul looking liquid. Quickly she made her way to the front room
just in time to catch Nabiki, Shampoo and Mousse as they were about to
go up the steps.
“Nabiki,” she called joining them. “I got the stuff Kodachi made
for Akane. All we need now is… what’s wrong with Mousse?”
Nabiki leaned over and whispered into Ukyo’s ear. The brief
burst of laughter startled the guests below.
“Please, Ukyo. One disaster at a time, okay,” said Nabiki,
pulling her into the room.
Mousse in the meantime pulled away from Shampoo and stood
motionless with his back to them at the center of the room. Nabiki and
Ukyo came up beside her and they watched him for a moment wondering what
was going through his mind.
“Nabiki?” he suddenly called out.
“Uh, yes, Mousse?”
Another moment of silence, and then in a flash Mousse spun
around, rage written deep on his face.
“I QUIT!” he shouted. “DO YOU HEAR ME? I QUIT, QUIT, QUIT,
QUIT, QUIT!”
“Mousse, lower your voice before Maeda or his people hear you!”
“I don’t care if Tokyo hears me! I-AM-THROUGH!”
The girls drew back from the raging man hopping about like some
lunatic with his pants on fire. Ukyo chuckled, beaming brightly at
Nabiki.
“I’m so glad you brought me,” she said.
Nabiki rolled her eyes, ignoring her. “Mousse, you can’t leave
now. We need you!”
Mousse dropped into a menacing stance, hands bared ready to leap.
“I-have-had-my-butt-SQUEEZED-by-a-DUDE!” he said, teeth clenched tight.
“You don’t need me! You need ED WOODS!”
“(Feh) Don’t be silly, Mousse,” said Shampoo, “Ed Wood dead.”
“IT DOSEN’T MATTER! I am not going back down there again!”
“You have too, Mousse,” pleaded Nabiki. “Vicky will be expecting
to see you again.”
“Then tell her I quit! Oh and I thought seeing that picture of
Tatewaki naked was bad.”
Shampoo gazed up at the ceiling in thought. “Hm. Actually, that
was interesting angle of Tatewaki Kuno’s—.”
“YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!” shouted Mousse. He turned his gaze back
at Nabiki and growled. “Gimme those key, Nabiki!”
Nabiki gulped and gently slipped behind Ukyo. “Mousse, I really
need your help. We’ve gone this far.”
“And some guy went too far with his fingers! I want those keys!”
“Wow, that much booty?” said Ukyo.
“Don’t agitate him!” snapped Nabiki.
“I would quit too if strange man grab Shampoo’s butt,” said
Shampoo.
“You’re not helping either!” shouted Nabiki, “Stay out of this!”
Mousse began stalking around Ukyo and Nabiki naturally shifted
the opposite way to avoid him. She grimaced as they circled around and
she frantically looked around for help.
“Don’t just stand there, Ukyo! Help me!”
Nah, nah, girlfriend. You got yourself into this one; I’m just
here to watch the show.”
“Ah, you traitor! Shampoo!”
“(Humph!) Shampoo told to stay out of it.”
“I take it back!”
“No, too late!”
Mousse continued to circle around Ukyo with Nabiki maintaining
her distance as she struggled to think up a way out of this mess.
“Mousse,” she pleaded, “Please, please I need you down there!”
“There’s only one way I’ll go back down there, Nabiki!”
“How?”
“Give me a cattle prod!”
“I don’t have one of those!”
“Gimme the keys, Nabiki!”
He lunged trying to reach around Ukyo but Nabiki stepped away
from his reach. “Ukyo! Are you actually just going to stand there?”
“Yep. This boy’s pissed and I’m having so much fun watching you
panic for a change (BWAHAHAHAH!!!!).”
No help there, Nabiki squealed shifting away from another attempt
from Mousse. She backed away as he came stalking around Ukyo.
“KEEEYYYYSSS!” he hissed at her.
“Uh… uh, okay, Mousse. I’ll make it worth your while to stay!”
she said inching back.
“KEEEYYYYYSSSS!!!!!”
“…uh, uh, I’ll, I’ll… oh… I’ll not only forget the debt you owe
me, but I’ll even refund the entire amount back to you!”
Shampoo suddenly let out a cry and they turned to see her with
face contorted, grimacing with pain as she clutched at her chest. The
Amazon Woman dropped to her knees and Mousse ran over to catch her.
“Shampoo, Shampoo! What’s wrong, dear?”
Shampoo sat huffing for a minute before answering. “…is nothing…
just heart attack that all… did shampoo hear greedy nabiki right?”
Mousse looked back at Nabiki. “Every Yen?” he asked.
Nabiki felt like having a heart attack herself, but she forced it
back and reluctantly nodded. Shampoo tensed again, the brief spasm of
pain passing quickly, and then she reached up to Mousse.
“Moussa… you not pass this opportunity, eh?”
He knew what she meant; Mousse hung his head and began to cry.
It was a hard decision and he looked around stopping at Ukyo in search
of guidance. She too had tears in her eyes but for an obviously
different reason and he knew there was no help from that sector. No
other choice, Mousse reflecting on his past insult briefly before
answering.
“I’m doing this for you and the Nekohatten, Shampoo!” he told
her.
“Is good cause.”
Relieved, Nabiki sighed wishing that luck would somehow change
and go their way. One problem down, another one to tackle, she thought
shifting back to the Akane debacle. Ukyo stood wide-eyed staring at her
barely able to hold back her laughs.
“Spare me, Ukyo,” said Nabiki, smirking at her.
“(Miff!) Okay!”
Nabiki paused to regain her thoughts. “Mousse, you and Shampoo
head back downstairs. You stay with Ranko. At least with less of a
crowd you won’t have to worry about anymore groping.”
Mousse helped Shampoo up. “You could at least unlock these
torture devices you have on me!” he said as they passed, “My feet are
killing me!”
“With the refund (cough) you’re getting, you can afford a billion
foot massages; now get back downstairs before Vicky comes up here
looking for us.”
They left and Nabiki said to Ukyo, “Akane?”
“(Mirph!) Just a second,” she said, pressing the commlink on her
ear.
[Ryoga?]
[Ukyo! I’m so glad you called.]
[Why, what’s up?]
[It’s Akane. I think she’s dead!]
Downstairs, Ranko stiffened at the news, eyes wide staring out
into empty space. She turned ignoring the calls from the guests she was
serving and headed back out the doorway. Passing her tray to Mousse
without pause, she stepped into the walk-in closet and closed the door.
[What do you mean my wife is dead?] she said.
[Ranko? Akane… she’s dead!]
[Describe ‘dead’.]
Ryoga stared at Akane searching for words to explain her new
condition. She stood in the middle of Maeda’s office like some stone
statue, body leaning to her left with her head tipped in the same
direction. Both eyes were glassy, lids drooping low and her mouth hung
open drool dribbling down her chin.
[She just… standing there… I mean just… standing there.]
[Oh. She’s not dead. She’s just in phase one.]
[Phase One?]
[Yeah. Her body is trying to catch up with her so it shuts down
momentarily.]
[So this is a good thing, right?] asked Ukyo.
[No. When her body catches up with her, then she goes into phase
two.]
[What’s that?] asked Ryoga.
[She starts singing.]
Ukyo burst out laughing, doubling over. A smack on the head made
her look up and Nabiki made a questioning gesture wanting to know what
was going on.
“(NEHEHHEHEH)… Akane is in phase one, going to phase two,” she
said.
“No! Singing!” exclaimed Nabiki, drawing more laughs form Ukyo.
[Akane can’t start singing!] Ryoga said. [You know what happened
the last time she tried that…]
[…cleared out an entire karaoke bar. Even babies were
high-stepping it out the door.] finished Ranko.
“I remember that night!” exclaimed Ukyo.
But Nabiki found no humor in the situation at all. She paced
fretfully around realizing that this whole affair might just be about
done if her sister began singing like a dying hyena in the midday sun.
“We’ve got to stop her. Oh no! We’ve got to stop her! If she
starts singing all the guests will flee the area, and worse, Maeda and
his cronies will come rushing upstairs and catch them in the act.”
Ukyo pulled herself up to her knees, huffing for air. She
giggled and then stood back up. “Okay, things haven’t got that bad yet,
Nabiki. Just calm down,” she said.
“I’m about to be fish-food!”
“Not yet!” Ukyo activated the comlink again. [Ryoga!]
[Yeah?]
[We have the stuff that might bring Akane around.]
[Great… wait not so great. How are you going to get it up here?]
Ukyo smirked then a thought hit her. “Did I see a dumbwaiter in
the kitchen?” she asked.
“The dumbwaiter!” replied Nabiki, snapping her fingers.
[Ryoga, there should be a dumbwaiter somewhere in that room.
Find it and stand by.]
[Okay.]
Ukyo smiled. “See, that’s all to it.”
“Gee, thanks Ukyo. Here I was thinking I’d have to do all of the
planning by myself.”
“No, no, Miss Tendo. That was only part one.”
“It was?”
“Yep. All you have to do now is think up a way to distract that
Jean-Claude-choke-a-name guy and that that creep Tanyun who are still in
the kitchen.”
Beetling her brows, Ukyo winked and headed out the door leaving
Nabiki speechless.
“Ooo, you bitch!” she snarled and hung her head.
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