[FFML] [Marmalade Boy] Cast Adrift on Memories of Bliss

[Michael A Chase]

Suggested changes: {before : after}

Please turn off the custom quoting. I've changed the ones I caught to
the regular versions in this file.

On 02/14/2005 06:38 PM, DB Sommer said:

> Writer's forward: This one came about as a result of seeing the first
> four episodes of MB at Otakon last year. Having only seen 4 eps, I might
> be contradicting some canon here, but I haven't been able to find
> anything to contradict this, so here we go.

The manga and the anime have quite a few differences anyway.

> I remember the epiphany. It was on a Wednesday between noon and one. I
> was eating lunch at the weekly get together with four of my oldest
> friends from when we were in high school. It was a ritual we developed
> to keep in touch with one another after we graduated and moved on in our
> lives. Sixteen years and I missed it maybe a total of four times, one of
> them when Miki was born. We were as regular as clockwork. It was as
> though the years had never happened and we were in high school selves
> once again. Over lunch we'd talk about many things. How our lives were
> going. Our marriages. Raising children. Sex. Anything. No subject was
> forbidden, that was how open we were. No guys allowed either. Not ever.
> That was the one unbreakable rule. It was so we wouldn't have to worry
> about putting on airs and looking good for them. This was a time for us
> to just be ourselves.

> Miyabi was talking about some guy she was dating. She was going into
> great detail about him being a major hunk, and confessed to us she was
> having great sex with him. When I asked if she was going to marry him,
> Miyabi laughed and said it was nothing romantic, and that the two of
> them were just {‘ : '}fuck buddies.'

> Jin and I first met in high school on a double date. It was the typical
> story. A friend of mine and a friend of his were dating. When they
> talked about us, (including the fact we were both not dating anyone)
> they thought we'd be perfect together. So with the best of intentions
> they set us up to meet one another and go out with them. I didn't have
> my hopes up. My dating life up to that point had been limited and,
> frankly, disastrous. Still, I wanted to please my friend whose
> intentions were noble, if not terribly bright. So I smiled and pretended
> like I was looking forward to it. I figured it was only one evening, and
> if things went poorly with my date, it was only a one time thing, and I
> wouldn't have to feel guilty if I refused to go out a second time. It
> wasn't like he had asked me out or something. It was just a favor we
> were doing for someone else.

In the anime, the four parents knew each other from college tennis club.
I don't recall any indication of any of them meeting earlier. I also
don't recall if they kept in touch after college.

> Since neither of us wanted the night to end so soon, we took a detour
> through a park, trying to remain together as long as we could. I
> wouldn't call what we shared romantic. Friendly was the word. Very
> friendly. I actually stayed out past my curfew, but I didn't really
> care. Here was a guy I was relaxed with and whose company I enjoyed. In
> one night I had more fun with him than with {every other guy : all the other guys} put
> together. He was worth a little hassle from my parents.

> We decided on a romantic cruise. That would give us the time and
> isolation we needed to reconcile. We moved quickly, taking off at the
> end of the month. We maintained a solid wall of togetherness in front of
> Miki until then. Actually, it was quite easy, since she was the common
> ground we shared at the moment, while at the same time we were
> frightened at the new truth that had intruded into our lives. But we
> maintained the facade for her sake.

I am pretty sure it was a trip to Hawaii.

> During dinner we were seated at a table with another married couple the
> same age as us: Youji and Chiyako Matsura. Being naturally outgoing, Jin
> and I struck up a conversation with them. They both turned out to be
> just as friendly and sociable as us. We were quickly talking with each
> other as though we were lifelong friends.

I've usually seen Matsuura rather than Matsura.

They had been friends in college. Why each married the opposite corner
of their four-way relationship has never been clear to me.

> Reluctantly we called it a night, with a promise to meet each other in
> the morning. The mood had definitely changed between Jin and I, as we
> started to relax and enjoy the {journey : vacation : trip}, rather than trying to force the
> issue of romance between us.

> Not wanting to trouble my husband, who was in deep conversation with
> Chiyako, I held out the bottle of lotion in offering to {Yuji : Youji} and asked
> him if he would reach those hard to get places on me. There was
> eagerness in his eye that I hadn't seen in Jin's for years, if ever.
> While it should have made me uneasy, instead it only excited me. Youji
> seemed to come to his senses as he reluctantly asked Jin for permission
> to lotion me up. Jin just gave a dismissive wave, as though it was the
> most trivial thing in the world and he would just as soon not have been
> troubled by it. Chiyako interrupted though, by telling her husband it
> would be all right if Jin was allowed to do the same to her. Youji
> laughed and said it was fine trade off. Now Jin seemed attentive and
> eager as he grabbed a bottle of lotion and Chiyako happily rolled over
> for him.

> I can't imagine what Chiyako and I must have looked like, being touched
> in such a familiar manner by men other than our husbands, while the men
> in question watched, no less. Had something like this happened in our
> neighborhood, it would have been borderline scandalous. Instead, I
> didn't care. There was something about being in the presence of Youji
> that made me throw all my concerns to the wind. Slowly, insidiously, the
> rest of the world was ceasing to matter, and it was only Youji who I
> could focus on.

Borderline?

> I no longer cared about Jin's refusal to come along. In fact, with
> Chiyako choosing to remain behind, I was looking forward to having some
> time alone with Youji. We went together to the opposite side of the ship
> to peer over the railing. Many others had gathered there was well to
> watch the dolphins leap acrobatically through the ocean as they traveled
> alongside the ship. The number of people made things a bit crowded, so
> Youji and I had to squeeze into a space that was enough room for about
> one and a half people. Our bodies rubbed up against one another, oiled
> flesh on {: oiled} flesh, and a tingle shot down my spine. My physical reaction
> was evident through my small bikini. I blushed at the response my body
> was having to Youji's presence. I only hoped he didn't notice. It would
> have been embarrassing.

> "ChiyakoÂ… mightÂ… findÂ…us ," I got out between kisses. I didn't care if
> Jin discovered what was about to happen. It was over between us now, no
> matter what. I couldn't be married to him, knowing what a man like Youji
> could be like.

Are those elipsis in the first sentence?

> How were we going to explain what happened to Miki?

It took her a fairly long time to accept the divorces and remarriages.
Her conflicted feelings about Yuu were the main focus of the story.

--
Mac :})
Give a hobbit a fish and he eats fish for a day.
Give a hobbit a ring and he eats fish for an age.


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[DB Sommer]

Cast Adrift of Memories Bliss
(A Marmalade Boy fanfic)



Any and all C+C is appreciated. You can contact me at
sommert@connecttime.net

All of my fics are stored at the following:

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At fanfiction.net:
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Or R+C books at:
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Writer’s forward: This one came about as a result of seeing the first
four episodes of MB at Otakon last year. Having only seen 4 eps, I might
be contradicting some canon here, but I haven’t been able to find
anything to contradict this, so here we go.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I remember the epiphany. It was on a Wednesday between noon and one. I
was eating lunch at the weekly get together with four of my oldest
friends from when we were in high school. It was a ritual we developed
to keep in touch with one another after we graduated and moved on in our
lives. Sixteen years and I missed it maybe a total of four times, one of
them when Miki was born. We were as regular as clockwork. It was as
though the years had never happened and we were in high school selves
once again. Over lunch we’d talk about many things. How our lives were
going. Our marriages. Raising children. Sex. Anything. No subject was
forbidden, that was how open we were. No guys allowed either. Not ever.
That was the one unbreakable rule. It was so we wouldn’t have to worry
about putting on airs and looking good for them. This was a time for us
to just be ourselves.

It was Miyabi who said it. She was always the crudest out of all of us.
If someone in our little gathering of hens swore, it was her nine times
out of ten. We always attributed her coarse behavior as the principal
reason for why she was still single.

Miyabi was talking about some guy she was dating. She was going into
great detail about him being a major hunk, and confessed to us she was
having great sex with him. When I asked if she was going to marry him,
Miyabi laughed and said it was nothing romantic, and that the two of
them were just ‘fuck buddies.’

That was the first time I had heard the word. The instant I understood
what it meant, I wave of nausea passed through me, and it took all I had
not to vomit up my lunch. That would have been something the girls would
have talked about for months. I managed to regain enough control to
remain at the table. I tuned out the rest of the conversation from that
point on. I just wanted to leave. For once the girls were in my way. I
needed time to myself to think.

It took an eternity, but the meal finally ended and we went our separate
ways. Finally my stomach settled enough to think about that word, and
the reaction it triggered inside me. I knew why it had such an effect.
The explanation was simple, really.

It was the perfect term to describe my marriage to Jin.

Jin and I first met in high school on a double date. It was the typical
story. A friend of mine and a friend of his were dating. When they
talked about us, (including the fact we were both not dating anyone)
they thought we’d be perfect together. So with the best of intentions
they set us up to meet one another and go out with them. I didn’t have
my hopes up. My dating life up to that point had been limited and,
frankly, disastrous. Still, I wanted to please my friend whose
intentions were noble, if not terribly bright. So I smiled and pretended
like I was looking forward to it. I figured it was only one evening, and
if things went poorly with my date, it was only a one time thing, and I
wouldn’t have to feel guilty if I refused to go out a second time. It
wasn’t like he had asked me out or something. It was just a favor we
were doing for someone else.

We agreed to meet near the school’s soccer field around six. My friend
and I waited for the guys to show up. The plan was to keep things
simple: dinner and a movie. It wouldn’t even take up the whole night, if
things went poorly. It was a sound plan and strategy.

The first time I laid eyes on Jin I was delighted to see he was
good-looking. Not incredibly handsome, not even head turning, but no one
would call him ugly. I know it sounds shallow, but I’ve always been a
proponent of the idea that there has to be some degree of physical
attraction in order for there to be a chance at a relationship. Ideally,
it shouldn’t be that way. We should judge each other on who we are, not
what we look like. On the other hand, models don’t look like the rest of
us lowly mortals, now do they?

Mind you, it wasn’t ‘love at first sight’, I didn’t believe in such a
creature, but Jin was easy on the eyes. My first concern about being
repelled by him was gone, and he didn’t wince when he saw me, so I felt
a sense of relief. It was a good way to start things off. If only the
rest of the night went as smoothly.

Jin seemed happy to see me as well, probably relieved for the same
reason, though I’ve never asked him about it. Since we didn’t reject one
another from the outset, we separated into couples, our mutual friends
walking ahead of us just out of earshot, giving us time to get to know
one another, as well as affording themselves some privacy.

We started talking, tentatively at first, but quickly became relaxed and
opened up to one another. It was odd. While I had dated guys before, I
never felt so comfortable with one. Moreover we had a lot in common
(proving our friends were good judges of character), so we had a lot to
talk about. I felt at ease with Jin in a way I had with no other guy. It
was almost like talking to my female friends, but not quite. Jin was
undeniably male, available, and we were on a date, so it wasn’t exactly
the same thing. He was the first guy I ever really ‘talked’ to, if that
made any sense. Soon we forgot our friends were even there as we
discussed everything from our favorite music, to what flavor ice cream
we liked. What trepidation I felt slipped away as the night wore on.
Everything went perfectly. We enjoyed the meal and the movie, and when
it came time to call it a night, Jin decided to walk me back to my home.
It was good sign, especially since he lived in the opposite direction.
Our friends bid us goodnight, obviously delighted that we hit it off so
well.

Since neither of us wanted the night to end so soon, we took a detour
through a park, trying to remain together as long as we could. I
wouldn’t call what we shared romantic. Friendly was the word. Very
friendly. I actually stayed out past my curfew, but I didn’t really
care. Here was a guy I was relaxed with and whose company I enjoyed. In
one night I had more fun with him than with every other guy put
together. He was worth a little hassle from my parents.

When it came time to call it evening, the date ended the only way it
could: with a kiss. At the time I felt it incredibly romantic, yet
unlike the exotic tales I heard other girls talk about. There were no
fireworks going off. No sakura trees surrounding us in a storm of
leaves. No groping. It was a simple kiss with a man for whom I had
nothing but good feelings about, which were sharply contrasted with my
fears at the start of the evening. Simply put, it was one of the best
nights of my life.

Seeing each other again was a given. We went out the next night, and the
night after that, and the night after that. I would probably have gone
out with Jin every night of the week if my parents hadn’t made me slow
down. He met them soon enough, at their insistence, and they were nearly
as enchanted with him as I was. I never had so much fun in my life as
when I was with him, and while I wouldn’t call myself addicted to him, I
definitely enjoyed life more being with him than not being around him.

We were going steady within two weeks, and by the end of the month, we
were officially recognized as ‘a couple’ in the eyes of our fellow
students. It was odd, but kind of neat. I was never notable in any way
before that, but now that I was part of a steady couple, it gave me a
reputation, making others recognize my name even if they hadn’t met me
personally. Jin said it was much the same way with him. Once we were
cemented as a couple, guys stopped hitting on me, not that I had an
overwhelming number of advances to begin with. It was just that they
(correctly) saw there was no sense in wasting their time with me since I
was in steady relationship I was happy with.

It soon became obvious our relationship wasn’t like that of those around
us. I constantly heard from my friends and others describing their
relationships in far different terms. The high points made them
starry-eyed and giddy, sometime to the point of annoying those of us
around them. The lows made them depressed, hollow shells of what they
once were, some claiming they were so miserable it felt like killing
themselves was the only way to end the suffering. No one ever did,
thankfully, but I was relieved Jin and I weren’t like that.

What we had was a steady, solid relationship, with little in the way of
ups and downs. High points were when he would get me flowers or candy,
and once he did buy me a small (very small) diamond necklace which
brought tears of joy to my eyes, but it was hardly the torrid affair
other girls seemed to have. Of course, while our love might not have
been the blazing inferno others described, at least it didn’t burn out
like theirs inevitably did.

The low points weren’t all that low either. Oh, there were the
occasional disagreements and more rarely hard feelings over them, but
they were fleeting and easily forgiven. I never once thought of leaving
him, nor he I. Our trust with one another was so absolute that even if
harsh words were exchanged, we knew in our hearts the other didn’t mean
it and never held it against them once things cooled down, which was
always the next day.

Our trust was so deep that when I asked him if a dress I wore made me
look fat, I wanted him to tell the truth. And if he said it did, I was
glad he told me. I never felt angry or resentful, the way most of my
fellow girls did, which I took to mean my relationship with my boyfriend
was far more stable than theirs.

Everything went steady and smooth. After we had dated a year, becoming
seniors in the process, we began having sex. It just seemed that it was
the next logical step forward in a relationship neither of us wanted to
end. Most of our friends had lost their virginity, and they hadn’t dated
half as long as we had. Our first time wasn’t even planned. It was just
something that happened on the spur of the moment. While it might not
have been the result of a long candlelight dinner and dance followed by
a room in an upscale hotel, it was definitely one of the most wonderful
experiences of my life. We began doing it on a regular basis, though
neither of us was demanding. We were always sensitive to the other’s
need. The sex was enjoyable, though neither of us had anything to
compare the experience to. It only helped to cement our already
wonderful relationship.

With our graduation came the next logical step in our continuing
courtship: marriage. Everyone seemed to agree, as the announcement of
our engagement was met with knowing looks or “it’s about time”s. The
engagement was brief, and soon we had our wedding. It was a small
ceremony with family and friends, but it was the most wonderful day of
our lives.

We set up a home near the university Jin and I attended, though I ended
up dropping out as our rather rambunctious honeymoon yielded a not
unexpected result. I was pregnant. The pregnancy was by the book, much
like my marriage, though with the birth of my daughter, I discovered
there was something much more wonderful than my wedding day. Having Miki
was by far the most incredible thing in my life, making my marriage pale
by comparison. Jin felt the same way. Our lives revolved around our
newborn, and she became the most important thing in the world. It took a
great deal of restraint for us to not dote on her too much and spoil
her, though I think we might have from time to time.

We became a family then. Jin graduated and was hired by a solid firm
making a decent wage. I was a homemaker and housewife, and enjoyed it.
Everything flowed smoothly, with few bumps in the road. It was like we
were the ideal family, which was what I believed for years. We were the
envy of everyone we knew.

But there was a feeling of dissatisfaction. Something not quite right
with everything, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. There was something
missing, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what it was. It
grew worse over the years, more noticeable, almost irritating. It was
like having an itch but not knowing where to scratch. It was
distressing. Even when I mentioned it to my friends, they had no idea
what it could be. My life lacked any real problems. Both Miki and Jin
were fine. It felt like there was something off inside me.

And then it all came into focus with one brusque phrase. A fuck buddy.
Someone you sleep with while lacking any real sense of attachment. The
more I thought about it in conjunction with myself, the more I felt like
that was what I had with my husband. While we loved each other, it
wasn’t with any sense of infatuation. There was little in the way of
passion between us. It wasn’t so much a marriage as much as a business
partnership. We didn’t dislike one another, on the contrary, we liked
each other very much, but at the same time it seemed we never cared
intensely about one another. That was why I had never minded it when he
told me a dress made me look fat: I didn’t love him so deeply that I
would feel automatically hurt by a non-flattering comment he made about me.

It was like my life was built on a lie, but that wasn’t exactly true. It
was an illusion, one I created and fooled myself into believing was
something it wasn’t. I found myself not with a husband, but with a fuck
buddy. It was nothing like a true marriage. If I did love Jin before, I
certainly didn’t now. Cared, but not loved, and there is a world of
difference between the two.

It was horrifying to me, but it was the truth. And as much as I cared
about Jin, at the same time, I couldn’t pretend nothing was wrong. On
the contrary, the very nature of our relationship, and the trust (which
was a real thing) made it so I had to tell him how I felt, even if, for
the first time in my life, I really and truly hurt him. But that honesty
was the foundation of our relationship (unlike passion, which was what
marriage was supposed to be about), and without that, we truly had nothing.

Waiting for Jin to come home that day was one of the hardest things in
my life. Luckily, Miki was at a friend’s house. She had been doing that
a lot more often since she entered high school. She was blossoming as a
girl, and I was proud of that. I couldn’t have said anything while she
was around. While my love for my husband was not that deep, it was the
exact opposite when it came to my daughter. I would do anything for her,
even maintain the illusion of a happy home, if it came to that. But I
didn’t know what to do, other than discuss things with Jin. We’d have to
put out minds together to come up with a solution to my problem. I only
prayed we could.

I didn’t wait. Once Jin came home, I told him we had to talk. It was
easily the most loathsome thing I had to do in my life. After Miki, Jin
was the most important person in my life. Never had I done anything to
hurt him, and now I was going to, and it was due to a failing on my
part, not his. But I couldn’t refuse to tell him either. I just couldn’t.

So I confessed everything, as though I had cheated on him. I was a
babbling wreck by the time I was through, all of it a self-inflicted
wound. When I was done with my rambling emotional speech, Jin just
looked at me in shock. I finally understood what those girls back in
high school meant when they said their relationship took a turn for the
worse and they wanted to kill themselves. I wanted to die on the spot of
hurting him this way. It was entirely my fault. He was blameless. I
cursed the day I had met him. Better never to have met him than to hurt
him this way.

After several minutes of sitting there, staring off into space, I
couldn’t take the silence anymore. I asked him what he wanted me to do.
To pay for my sins, I would do anything he wanted. All he had to do was ask.

And then he spoke, reacting in the one way I never thought he would. It
was one phrase which would stay with me to the end of my days, and
perhaps the only form of salvation I could have.

“I feel the same way.”

Now it was my turn to be struck speechless. Of all the reactions I
considered, that was not one of them. It was his turn to confess the
same thing to me, though I only half listened. It was too much to be
believed. It wasn’t until some of my higher functions kicked in that I
realized it actually made sense. We treated each other in much the same
way. We were a lot alike in personality, which was one of the reasons we
got along so well together. It only made sense that he too was suffering
in the same way I was, though he hadn’t figured out what the problem was
anymore than I had before that day.

Once the truth set in, I was nearly hysterical with laughter. It was as
though a great weight had been taken off my shoulders. After Miki, it
was the greatest gift my husband could have given me. He joined me in
relieved laughter. It was odd, how one could feel so delighted in
discovering their marriage was a horrible mistake. Almost perverse, but
it was the way of things.

After we both calmed down, we talked things out, as we always did.
Perhaps the single advantage in not loving one another deeply was that
we weren’t as careful about not hurting one another. Love and hate go
hand in hand, and lacking the first made the second more difficult. We
had to do something, for Miki’s sake if for no other reason. We both
loved her far more than we ever loved each other, and divorcing on the
spot would have hurt her terribly. It was decided we needed to try to
salvage things for her sake. In order to do that, we would need some
time alone together, and perhaps a spark would ignite our passions. Of
all the men I had ever met in the world, Jin was still the one I cared
about the most. There had never been anyone else that turned my eye, not
that I had been looking around. So perhaps he was what I was looking
for, and we just needed to find a way to make the connection between us
deeper and stronger.

We decided on a romantic cruise. That would give us the time and
isolation we needed to reconcile. We moved quickly, taking off at the
end of the month. We maintained a solid wall of togetherness in front of
Miki until then. Actually, it was quite easy, since she was the common
ground we shared at the moment, while at the same time we were
frightened at the new truth that had intruded into our lives. But we
maintained the facade for her sake.

The end of the month came and we were off. I was looking forward to
seeing what would happen now. It was odd, but almost from the instant we
left Miki behind, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. It was then I
realized how much pressure I felt in trying to pretend nothing was
wrong. Now I was afraid. If our attempt to kindle our passions failed, I
didn’t know what it would be like having to go back home and feign a
happy married life with Jin. It had been bad enough before when I didn’t
know what was wrong. But now that I did, I had to do something to fix
it. I just hadn’t figured out what to do yet. I prayed the trip would
garner the results both Jin and I wanted.

The suite we had was truly romantic. Flower petal were scattered across
the room, heart-shaped chocolates on our bed. Everything was in
valentine red. The mood was perfect, but I felt no desire to do anything
with Jin. We made a weak attempt at making out, but it was obvious
neither of us had our hearts in it, despite intentionally avoiding
having any sex since our discussion. But even now, with the setting and
atmosphere ideal, our love making would have been perfunctory. We both
realized it, so we dropped the matter and went to sleep. Only if things
occurred naturally could it possibly work out between us.

The next day we were a good distance out on the ocean, gaining the
solitude we wanted. However, whatever we were hoping for wasn’t there.
Nothing seemed to jump start the feelings we had hoped would be
triggered on the trip. It was still early, but we were not off to a good
start. There was little to talk about, since we knew each other so
intimately. We simply couldn’t figure out where to begin.

By the time dinner rolled around, we were frustrated at being stymied so
easily. Also we were becoming bored. If nothing else, this was a
vacation, and we both wanted to enjoy it, but the palpable cloud of
worry that hovered between us prevented anything but misery from seeping
in.

During dinner we were seated at a table with another married couple the
same age as us: Youji and Chiyako Matsura. Being naturally outgoing, Jin
and I struck up a conversation with them. They both turned out to be
just as friendly and sociable as us. We were quickly talking with each
other as though we were lifelong friends.

While my initial intention was to talk primarily with Chiyako, I found
Youji just as interesting as his wife, if not more so. I don’t know what
it was about him, but there was something fascinating about his
presence. He was extremely handsome, witty, and interesting as well.
Honestly, he was unlike any man I had met since Jin, but while we got
along almost as quickly as Jin and I had, there was something else
there, a tension that had been lacking when my husband and I met as
teenagers. At least on my part, though I could have sworn Youji was
showing a bit more attention than was proper for a married man with his
wife sitting right next to him. Then again, perhaps I was doing the
same. My judgment was somewhat clouded, given the circumstances.

Not that Jin or Chiyako noticed. On the contrary, they were going on
like old friends as well. At the time I could have almost sworn they
were flirting with each other, which was preposterous. Jin never flirted
with anyone, including myself. It wasn’t that he was shy; he just didn’t
do that sort of thing.

Dinner ended all too soon, but since we were on a ship, and having
nothing better to do we invited the Matsuras to our room for some drinks
and to continue our conversation. Our revelry went into the wee hours of
the morning. We chatted away all through the night, never tiring of one
another’s company. Chiyako and I got along well, probably better than I
did with any of my friends, but I had to admit, I found Youji the more
interesting of the pair. My initial impression of him was only confirmed
the longer I was in his company. There was something alluring about him,
a sort of animal magnetism, and I could see why his wife had decided to
marry him.

Reluctantly we called it a night, with a promise to meet each other in
the morning. The mood had definitely changed between Jin and I, as we
started to relax and enjoy the journey, rather than trying to force the
issue of romance between us.

I was eager the next day, my thoughts turning to breakfast with Youji
and Chiyako. Jin was just as excited as I was. I managed to grab the
bathroom first, taking extra time to make myself presentable. It was a
bit odd, me trying so hard to look good for our new friends, but for
some reason I wanted to look my best when meeting them, though my
thoughts were more in line with impressing Youji.

We arrived ten minutes late because of how thorough I was in cementing
my appearance. Jin seemed a bit irritated at my taking so long. I
thought for a moment he might be jealous, but whatever annoyance he had
melted when we met the Matsuras again. Jin was gushing all over Chiyako,
and I confess I did much the same with Youji. I noted that Chiyako was
wearing an extra bit of make up herself, and Youji was extremely
well-groomed as well. He looked even more dashing and handsome than the
night before, and I felt the faintest pang of jealousy at how lucky
Chiyako was to have landed such a handsome husband.

We picked up where we left off. Breakfast passed quickly, with all of us
getting along famously. It was a bright sunny day, and being on a ship,
we decided to work on our tans. We went back to our rooms and changed. I
chose the smallest bikini I could find and tied it on, hoping to impress
one person in particular. I thought Jin might not have approved of me
showing so much of my flesh to our new companions, but he didn’t say a
word. I could have sworn he didn’t even notice, distracted as he was. It
was curious, but then, my mind wasn’t really focused on my husband at
the time, and to be honest, I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in his
opinion.

This time we arrived first. We grabbed a quartet of chairs on the deck,
next to the ship’s swimming pool. The Matsuras weren’t long in a
appearing, and I learned I didn’t have to worry about how much flesh I
was showing when Chiyako removed her shirt and showed off an even
smaller bikini than I did. While her bust was slightly larger than mine,
my hips were narrower. I’d say we were about even in the looks
department, and since I was getting along so well with her, I didn’t
feel jealous at all.

Jin was quick to greet Chiyako, kissing her on the cheek. The gesture
surprised me. My husband was not the type of man to greet a woman so
affectionately. But my musings were quickly distracted as Youji grabbed
my hand in a gentle hold and kissed the back of it, complimenting me on
my looks. From that moment on, I didn’t care what my husband did. I
preferred Youji’s attention to his by far.

Rather than each couple lying next to one another, a curious thing
happened. When we had first come out, Jin and I had sat together. But
Jin offered Chiyako his lounge chair while he sat on her far side,
putting us on each side of her and not giving Youji a chance to sit next
to her. Rather than complain, he sat down on the open seat next to me on
the far end, forcing him to always look at me, even if he wanted to talk
to anyone else. While he did end up talking to the others, most of his
attention was focused on me. I didn’t feel like complaining either.

Despite the unusual seating arrangement, we got along well. We went
rambling on with one another for a while, until I needed to roll over.
Having second degree burns on the second full day of my vacation was not
my idea of a good time. While it would have been more proper for Jin to
apply the lotion to my back, Youji was closer. It seemed simpler to
allow him to do it.

Not wanting to trouble my husband, who was in deep conversation with
Chiyako, I held out the bottle of lotion in offering to Yuji and asked
him if he would reach those hard to get places on me. There was
eagerness in his eye that I hadn’t seen in Jin’s for years, if ever.
While it should have made me uneasy, instead it only excited me. Youji
seemed to come to his senses as he reluctantly asked Jin for permission
to lotion me up. Jin just gave a dismissive wave, as though it was the
most trivial thing in the world and he would just as soon not have been
troubled by it. Chiyako interrupted though, by telling her husband it
would be all right if Jin was allowed to do the same to her. Youji
laughed and said it was fine trade off. Now Jin seemed attentive and
eager as he grabbed a bottle of lotion and Chiyako happily rolled over
for him.

The men really worked the lotion into our bodies. I was thrilled at the
very touch of Youji in ways I couldn’t possibly describe. I felt like a
little girl with how giddy I was. Youji was hesitant for just a moment
once he got to my bottom, but there was no way I wanted those magic
fingers of his to stop their dance upon my flesh. I urged him to go on,
even being so bold as to say he had permission to rub the lotion in
wherever he’d like. He laughed and took me up on my offer. Chiyako
wasn’t any better, telling Jin he’d better do the same to her as she
didn’t want to get burned in any sensitive places either.

I can’t imagine what Chiyako and I must have looked like, being touched
in such a familiar manner by men other than our husbands, while the men
in question watched, no less. Had something like this happened in our
neighborhood, it would have been borderline scandalous. Instead, I
didn’t care. There was something about being in the presence of Youji
that made me throw all my concerns to the wind. Slowly, insidiously, the
rest of the world was ceasing to matter, and it was only Youji who I
could focus on.

It was my turn to lotion up Youji. I took my time, savoring the feeling
of his taut muscles under my fingertips. He was a lot like Jin,
physically, and in as good a shape. Very little fat, and lean, but not
in a skinny way. Despite the fact they were very physically similar to
one another, I had no doubt there was something about Youji that was a
bigger turn on than Jin had ever been.

We lay like that for some time, rotating a couple of times to keep from
burning, talking the entire time as we got to know each other better. I
found Youji fascinating. Not just in the life he led, but his
personality, his caring, even the way he talked with a faint Kansai
accent that was just barely detectable. If there was a downside to the
man, I couldn’t tell what it was. He was incredible in every way. I had
never met anyone like him.

There was also something else, an almost instant connection between us.
Even Jin and I hadn’t hit it off as powerfully as this. There was
something much more basic, almost instinctive, which caused me to be
drawn to him. I found myself envious of Chiyako, having a man like this
as her husband. I wished Jin was exactly like Youji, and then I wouldn’t
be so dissatisfied with my life. I’d never be dissatisfied with anything
ever again. That was the effect he was having on me.

My ruminations were interrupted by someone shouting about a pod of
dolphins that were flitting about on the other side of the ship. I had
always loved dolphins, and fantasized about seeing some on the vacation.
I was up in an instant, declaring to the others that I wanted to watch
them.

Jin simply shrugged, saying he had no interest in them and remained
where he was. In our entire relationship, from the first date on, I
could never recall him being so casually dismissive of something that I
obviously wanted to do. He had always been supportive, no matter what,
and I was the same way with him. To have the man I had been married to
for seventeen years so casually brush me off bothered me.

Then Youji came to my rescue, a knight in a pair of swim trunks. He said
he’d be delighted to see the dolphins, and had always had a soft spot
for them. He held out his hand in offering to Chiyako. She remained
where she was, saying she would rather work on her tan than watch a
bunch of fish jumping up and down. Youji seemed surprised by that,
saying he thought she had always liked dolphins. She shrugged and said
she wasn’t in the mood.

I no longer cared about Jin’s refusal to come along. In fact, with
Chiyako choosing to remain behind, I was looking forward to having some
time alone with Youji. We went together to the opposite side of the ship
to peer over the railing. Many others had gathered there was well to
watch the dolphins leap acrobatically through the ocean as they traveled
alongside the ship. The number of people made things a bit crowded, so
Youji and I had to squeeze into a space that was enough room for about
one and a half people. Our bodies rubbed up against one another, oiled
flesh on flesh, and a tingle shot down my spine. My physical reaction
was evident through my small bikini. I blushed at the response my body
was having to Youji’s presence. I only hoped he didn’t notice. It would
have been embarrassing.

I tried concentrating on the dolphins, but it was the way Youji’s
brushed against me that had my complete attention. I found myself
fantasizing about what it would be like to have sex with someone other
than Jin. Would Youji be just as kind and caring, or would he be rough,
or more refined? I couldn’t tear my mind away from what it would be like.

Then, to my shock, I felt his hand slip around my waist. It was a
gesture far more familiar than propriety called for considering we were
both married, even if my own marriage was a sham. Had it been any other
man, I would have removed myself from his grasp, and made some weak
excuse as I walked away. Instead I moved into his embrace. Embarrassment
was gone, so I savored the sensation his mere presence induced in me. He
seemed to take that as permission, and began stroking my side. It had
always been a sensitive part of my body, and I moved closer still until
there was plenty of space on that railing for both of us.

It was only a matter time, I suppose, before we stopped paying attention
to the dolphins and looked at each other. I turned in his embrace and
found myself lost in his eyes, just like overly sappy romance songs
claim. Earlier I thought he was merely good-looking, now I knew he was
the most handsome man on the planet. My world was suddenly focused on
him. I didn’t care if I was married. I didn’t care about anything other
than Youji. It was a sensation I had never experienced before:
unadulterated lust. It was as though thirty seven years of it hit me all
at once.

Our faces moved together and we began kissing. Deeply, passionately,
unlike anything I had ever done with Jin. It was almost animalistic the
way we devoured one another. The floodgates had been opened and they
weren’t getting shut anytime soon.

We became vaguely aware of the sounds of disapproval from the other
people surrounding us. We overheard one of them telling us to ‘get a
room’. In our current state of mind, that sounded like a good idea.
Reluctantly we broke off our kissing, Youji guiding me by the hand into
the interior of the ship, I following as closely as I could. It took
only moment for me to realize we were at his room as he opened the door
and pulled me inside where we began kissing again.

“Chiyako… might… find…us ,” I got out between kisses. I didn’t care if
Jin discovered what was about to happen. It was over between us now, no
matter what. I couldn’t be married to him, knowing what a man like Youji
could be like.

“She didn’t take her key with her,” he got out between kisses.

That was all I needed to know. Lacking any reservations, we began
pulling off what few clothes we had, and nearly threw each other onto
the bed. For the next two hours we made engaged in what was the finest
lovemaking of my life. I finally learned what other girls meant when
they described their own relationships and the passions that sustained
them. Being with Youji was indescribably wonderful. It was the fireworks
and the love and the bliss that everyone gushes about when they’re with
the person they love. I had never felt a sensation like it before, and
never wanted it to end. It made what I did with Jin seem boring by
comparison. Having our lovemaking end was the saddest moment in my life.
Nothing was as tragic as that. Nothing.

It was while we were lying in bed, that Youji began talking. He became
serious, and I thought I knew what was to come. I heard from a couple of
single girls I knew who had affairs with married men, about how the men
broke it off. There would be excuses and apologies and explanations of
how it was a one time fling and he could never leave Chiyako. We got
caught up in the heat of the moment and let our emotions run out of
control. Now we would have to go back to the others and act as though
nothing had happened so we could continue moving on with our lives. It
was all going to end forever. He hadn’t said a word and I already hated
him more than I had ever hated Jin. And we weren’t even married.

And then he said the words that would live with me for the rest of my life.

“My marriage to Chiyako is over.”

Youji began explaining that they had only taken this trip as a last
ditch effort to save their floundering marriage. It wasn’t an exact
mirror image as mine and Jin’s had been, but it was close. He and
Chiyako had been dating for a while before she had become pregnant with
their son, Yuu. Youji had done the responsible thing and proposed once
he found out. The marriage was quite good for a while, but it was never
based on the true depth of love that was needed to sustain it. They
still got along well, but their relationship was dead. They had tried
salvaging it for Yuu’s sake, but they were becoming resentful of being
faithful to one another when neither wanted it. They decided to make
this voyage one last attempt to stay together, but he knew as soon as he
met me that it wasn’t going to work out. He too had felt an instant
attraction to me, and the more he learned about me, the more deeply he
felt drawn, until his restraint snapped like a dry twig and we ended up
in bed.

Once purged of his confession, Youji finally started to apologize. I
shushed him and told him my own situation. He didn’t believe me at
first, but when I threatened to punch him in the head (only half
jokingly), he realized I was being serious. I told him it was love at
first sight for me as well, truly a new experience, but it was real. I
wanted him more than any man I had ever met, and if he was telling the
truth, we were both about to become very happy.

We began kissing again, far more slowly but with just as much as passion
as before. I felt my soul take flight, knowing that I could experience
this sort of thing again, hopefully for the rest of my life. He felt the
same way.

There was only one thing left to do: inform our spouses about what had
happened, and what was going to happen. I had to tell Jin before he
figured it out on his own. I needed to explain what had happened. I owed
him that much.

I went to our room. It was one of the longest walks of my life, despite
it being less than a hundred meters. I unlocked the door to our cabin,
certain Jin was waiting there for me by now, wondering where I had been.
But I was wrong. It was empty. I was about to leave when I noticed the
sheets were disheveled. When we had gotten up that morning, the cleaning
woman had been working on the room next to ours. There was no way she
could have been unable to get to it by now.

I walked over to the sheets and looked them over. I noticed the wet
spots immediately, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out the origin
of the wetness. All of a sudden, my brain managed to process information
that had just been lying around, all of my higher functions that had
been focused solely on Youji. Now that I thought about it, I suppose the
attraction between Chiyako and my husband had been obvious from the
beginning. His interest in her was as great as my interest in Youji. And
now, knowing what the Matsuras’ relationship was like, reflecting Jin
and mine’s in so many ways, it seemed obvious that they too had taken an
interest in one another. A very deep interest.

Rather than feeling jealous, I felt relieved. I was happy for Jin, and
for Chiyako. Now that I had fallen truly in love with someone (for
perhaps the first time in my life), I didn’t have any anger left in my
body. I only hoped they came to the same decision Youji and I had.
Perhaps they were even looking for us now to tell us what had happened.
It was strange, no, bizarre was perhaps the better word, of what had
happened between the four of us. But it seemed to be the best answer to
all our worries and concerns.

We’d have to take some time off to be with each other, to make sure our
emotions aren’t a transient thing, but deep in my heart, I knew they
weren’t. Understanding Jin in every way for over half my life, and the
seeming instant connection I had with both Matsura’s, I can’t help but
feel that what seems to have happened between the four of us is meant to
be lasting. It’s the perfect solution to all of our problems. I hadn’t
been a proponent of Fate until that moment, but it was the only
explanation. The odds that the four of us found each other during the
greatest crisis of our lives were astronomical. Better a chance to find
a needle in a haystack. There was only one complication from this
seeming perfect solution that had me worried.

How were we going to explain what happened to Miki?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[End notes] There’s my little take on the thoughts of some of the
underused characters in the series. Someone might have actually done
this before, but if so, I was unaware of it. It’s just something that
came to me and I had to write it down. Don’t count on me doing anymore
MB fics. I still haven’t seen much of the series, and it doesn’t look
like I’ll have the time to watch more. Still, it was a neat little thing.

DB Sommer



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[Michael P. Hopcroft]

Rather than go through the whole thing pointing out stuff, i thought I
would make some general comments.

There has not been a lot of Marmalade Boy fan fiction, which is really a
pity. The series is one of my barely-closeted obsessions and I think
I've seen it through at least six times thanks to the legendary
Tomodachi fansub. What happened on the trip to Hawaii, and the origins
of what fans of the series refer to as "the Odd Quad", is good fanfic
fodder and I think it was handled well here. I have no real complaints.

My only complaint about the story I am not going to share. It is a
continuity issue, and to point it out would be an enormous spoiler for
the end of the manga and anime. I don't know if DB has seen that far, so
I'm kind of reluctant to bring it up just yet unless he asks me to --
and I'd want to do it in private e-mail in any case.

Michael Hopcroft

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[DB Sommer]

Michael A Chase wrote:


> Suggested changes: {before : after}
>
> Please turn off the custom quoting. I've changed the ones I caught to the
> regular versions in this file.

Actually I thought it was all just plain text. Still trying to figure out
what to save and how without getting the odd characters.

>
> On 02/14/2005 06:38 PM, DB Sommer said:
>
>> Writer's forward: This one came about as a result of seeing the first
>> four episodes of MB at Otakon last year. Having only seen 4 eps, I might
>> be contradicting some canon here, but I haven't been able to find
>> anything to contradict this, so here we go.
>
> The manga and the anime have quite a few differences anyway.

Great. Maybe I can say it's my own continuity.

>Miyabi was talking about some guy she was dating. She was going into
>> great detail about him being a major hunk, and confessed to us she was
>> having great sex with him. When I asked if she was going to marry him,
>> Miyabi laughed and said it was nothing romantic, and that the two of them
>> were just {‘ : '}fuck buddies.'

there's one of them

>
>> Jin and I first met in high school on a double date. It was the typical
>> story. A friend of mine and a friend of his were dating. When they talked
>> about us, (including the fact we were both not dating anyone) they
>> thought we'd be perfect together. So with the best of intentions they set
>> us up to meet one another and go out with them. I didn't have my hopes
>> up. My dating life up to that point had been limited and, frankly,
>> disastrous. Still, I wanted to please my friend whose intentions were
>> noble, if not terribly bright. So I smiled and pretended like I was
>> looking forward to it. I figured it was only one evening, and if things
>> went poorly with my date, it was only a one time thing, and I wouldn't
>> have to feel guilty if I refused to go out a second time. It wasn't like
>> he had asked me out or something. It was just a favor we were doing for
>> someone else.
>
> In the anime, the four parents knew each other from college tennis club.

Shoot. I'll have to make it 'met some old acquintances of ours from college'
and have Miki born post college.

> I don't recall any indication of any of them meeting earlier. I also
> don't recall if they kept in touch after college.

I'll cross my fingers.

>
>> Since neither of us wanted the night to end so soon, we took a detour
>> through a park, trying to remain together as long as we could. I wouldn't
>> call what we shared romantic. Friendly was the word. Very friendly. I
>> actually stayed out past my curfew, but I didn't really care. Here was a
>> guy I was relaxed with and whose company I enjoyed. In one night I had
>> more fun with him than with {every other guy : all the other guys} put
>> together. He was worth a little hassle from my parents.
>
>> We decided on a romantic cruise. That would give us the time and
>> isolation we needed to reconcile. We moved quickly, taking off at the end
>> of the month. We maintained a solid wall of togetherness in front of Miki
>> until then. Actually, it was quite easy, since she was the common ground
>> we shared at the moment, while at the same time we were frightened at the
>> new truth that had intruded into our lives. But we maintained the facade
>> for her sake.
>
> I am pretty sure it was a trip to Hawaii.

Will throw that in then.

>
>> During dinner we were seated at a table with another married couple the
>> same age as us: Youji and Chiyako Matsura. Being naturally outgoing, Jin
>> and I struck up a conversation with them. They both turned out to be just
>> as friendly and sociable as us. We were quickly talking with each other
>> as though we were lifelong friends.
>
> I've usually seen Matsuura rather than Matsura.

will chaneg

>
> They had been friends in college. Why each married the opposite corner of
> their four-way relationship has never been clear to me.

Would have lacked the contrivance for Miki and Yuu to get together. :)

>
>
>> I can't imagine what Chiyako and I must have looked like, being touched
>> in such a familiar manner by men other than our husbands, while the men
>> in question watched, no less. Had something like this happened in our
>> neighborhood, it would have been borderline scandalous. Instead, I didn't
>> care. There was something about being in the presence of Youji that made
>> me throw all my concerns to the wind. Slowly, insidiously, the rest of
>> the world was ceasing to matter, and it was only Youji who I could focus
>> on.
>
> Borderline?

She's hopeful.

>
>> I no longer cared about Jin's refusal to come along. In fact, with
>> Chiyako choosing to remain behind, I was looking forward to having some
>> time alone with Youji. We went together to the opposite side of the ship
>> to peer over the railing. Many others had gathered there was well to
>> watch the dolphins leap acrobatically through the ocean as they traveled
>> alongside the ship. The number of people made things a bit crowded, so
>> Youji and I had to squeeze into a space that was enough room for about
>> one and a half people. Our bodies rubbed up against one another, oiled
>> flesh on {: oiled} flesh, and a tingle shot down my spine. My physical
>> reaction was evident through my small bikini. I blushed at the response
>> my body was having to Youji's presence. I only hoped he didn't notice. It
>> would have been embarrassing.
>
>> "ChiyakoÂ… mightÂ… findÂ…us ," I got out between kisses. I didn't care if
>> Jin discovered what was about to happen. It was over between us now, no
>> matter what. I couldn't be married to him, knowing what a man like Youji
>> could be like.
>
> Are those elipsis in the first sentence?

Yeah. More odd lettering. I save it as plain text and take the plain text
option with my mailer, and I still get odd characters through. :P

>
>> How were we going to explain what happened to Miki?
>
> It took her a fairly long time to accept the divorces and remarriages. Her
> conflicted feelings about Yuu were the main focus of the story.

Yeah, but this is what she was thinking right before the start of the
series. They tried the 'act like it's not deranged' tactic, which backfired
horribly.

Thanks for the help. Will work in those revisions.

DB Sommer



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[hkmiller]

Odd story. I find that I react strongly to it, which I suppose is good
news for an author,
except that it's a strongly negative reaction to the tone of your
narrator. I have a
whole set of confusing reactions to this one.

Granted, there aren't too many ways you could write a fic describing the
series' setup
from the POV of one of the parents, given the series' setup: both her
parents describe
the situation to Miki in roughly the same terms: I feel something for
this other
person that I don't feel with your other parent, but we're still great
friends. I guess
the way I pictured it was more that the two couples had less overt
dissatisfaction
with each other prior to meeting the other couple, and that it was
meeting the other
couple that opened their eyes. (Not that I'd ever bothered to picture
this in any
great detail, you understand; I'd always taken the MB parents' situation
as just a
comedic given.)

But reading this, I find I have a very negative reaction to a supposed
37-year-old
narrator's attempt to differentiate between a relationship which she
uses both the
word "caring" and the phrase "f- buddy" to describe, and the romantic,
swept-off-her-
feet relationship she seeks. This is partly personal, I know; it is a
reaction I've had before
in reading other things. (I just don't think there IS all that much
difference, and tend to
get suspicious about what people are selling when they assert that there
is. After all,
many people would say that, after sixteen years, a marriage consisting
of peaceful
coexistence and caring is being ahead of the game. Well ahead of the game.)

In this connection, I think your narrative strategy to use one of the
women as
narrator was correct; this language would be much less believable (IMO)
coming
from a male character. OTOH, you have both male characters echo this
language,
more strongly than they do in the original material. You might have had
both male
characters just shrug and reply "yeah, kind of like that, I guess. But
also, I'm kind of
bored with <my wife> in bed, and you're a major babe." Should you be
tempted to
revise more than trivially (which I suspect you won't), I suggest giving
the men's POVs
a different tone than the women's.

Given that this is a series set in Japan, too, I"m not sure that my own
reaction
doesn't also reflect some degree of disbelief that this degree of
idolization of romantic
love could hold sway to this degree in Japanese people of this
generation (people
in their late thirties in the late 1980s). These could have been
arranged marriages,
for instance; why does your narrator believe that "passion" is what
"marriage was
supposed to be about"? For most of Japanese history, "passion" is what
corrupts
marriages, which are supposed to be about family continuity, bringing up
children,
and conservation of property.

But, again, MB is a shoujo series, so female characters are supposed to
angst about
love, romance, and passion, while male characters aren't supposed to
come off (to
male readers, at least) as real people. (While I own the first three
manga, I've never
really been able to get into them, and much of what I know of the later
series is
from reading Biles' fanfics.)

Not sure that all this is any great help to you, but, as they say, take
what you find
useful and discard the rest!




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[Michael A Chase]

On 02/16/2005 07:40 AM, Jeanne Hedge said:

> At 05:16 PM 2/14/2005, Michael A Chase wrote:

>> The manga and the anime have quite a few differences anyway.

> IIRC, one of the things the anime and manga agree on is the back-story of
> how the Odd Quad met, parted, and got back together again.
>
> Speaking of manga, are the Craig Nishida et.al. translations of the
> Marmalade Boy manga still available online? I've got copies...

They shouldn't be. The comercial translated manga are available.

--
Mac :})
Give a hobbit a fish and he eats fish for a day.
Give a hobbit a ring and he eats fish for an age.

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[Jeanne Hedge]

At 05:16 PM 2/14/2005, Michael A Chase wrote:

>Suggested changes: {before : after}
>
>Please turn off the custom quoting. I've changed the ones I caught to
>the regular versions in this file.
>
>On 02/14/2005 06:38 PM, DB Sommer said:
>
> > Writer's forward: This one came about as a result of seeing the first
> > four episodes of MB at Otakon last year. Having only seen 4 eps, I might
> > be contradicting some canon here, but I haven't been able to find
> > anything to contradict this, so here we go.
>
>The manga and the anime have quite a few differences anyway.


IIRC, one of the things the anime and manga agree on is the back-story of
how the Odd Quad met, parted, and got back together again.

Speaking of manga, are the Craig Nishida et.al. translations of the
Marmalade Boy manga still available online? I've got copies...



Jeanne


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[DB Sommer]

hkmiller wrote:


> Odd story. I find that I react strongly to it, which I suppose is good
> news for an author,
> except that it's a strongly negative reaction to the tone of your
> narrator.

Ah well. Better than ambivlance, I suppose.

I have a
> whole set of confusing reactions to this one.
>
> Granted, there aren't too many ways you could write a fic describing the
> series' setup
> from the POV of one of the parents, given the series' setup:

I didn't think it was much elaborated on beyond the first ep, but I was
uncertain since I saw all of 4 eps of it.

both her
> parents describe
> the situation to Miki in roughly the same terms: I feel something for
> this other
> person that I don't feel with your other parent, but we're still great
> friends.

Yeah, it was a summation for the contrivance for her and Yuu, to be certain.

I guess
> the way I pictured it was more that the two couples had less overt
> dissatisfaction
> with each other prior to meeting the other couple, and that it was meeting
> the other
> couple that opened their eyes. (Not that I'd ever bothered to picture
> this in any
> great detail, you understand; I'd always taken the MB parents' situation
> as just a
> comedic given.)

It could have been that way too, although it probably makes them even more
shallow than the reasoning appears on the surface. Except that it's not
meant to be taken seriously. Naturally I create a serious story in it's
place. Ironic, isn't it?

>
> But reading this, I find I have a very negative reaction to a supposed
> 37-year-old
> narrator's attempt to differentiate between a relationship which she uses
> both the
> word "caring" and the phrase "f- buddy" to describe, and the romantic,
> swept-off-her-
> feet relationship she seeks. This is partly personal, I know; it is a
> reaction I've had before
> in reading other things. (I just don't think there IS all that much
> difference, and tend to
> get suspicious about what people are selling when they assert that there
> is. After all,
> many people would say that, after sixteen years, a marriage consisting of
> peaceful
> coexistence and caring is being ahead of the game. Well ahead of the
> game.)

Heh. If only love was so formulmatic. It's different for each person, which
helps make it so unpredictible and tricky. Quite the hassle, it is.

>
> In this connection, I think your narrative strategy to use one of the
> women as
> narrator
was correct; this language would be much less believable (IMO)
> coming
> from a male character.

In shoujo? It's standard that the men think like women. Of course, the
reverse is true in for anime directed toward us guys. :)


OTOH, you have both male characters echo this
> language,
> more strongly than they do in the original material. You might have had
> both male
> characters just shrug and reply "yeah, kind of like that, I guess. But
> also, I'm kind of
> bored with <my wife> in bed, and you're a major babe."

Heh. I don't think they're attitude is ever really that course in most
shojo. And if it seems that way on the surface, usually their some angsty
reason for it which the female lead will eventually dig out. At least from
what limited exposure to shoujo i have. I could be wrong. I've never been a
big fan of it in general, although it does have a nice change of pace.

Should you be
> tempted to
> revise more than trivially (which I suspect you won't), I suggest giving
> the men's POVs
> a different tone than the women's.

I don't use theirs all that much.

>
> Given that this is a series set in Japan, too, I"m not sure that my own
> reaction
> doesn't also reflect some degree of disbelief that this degree of
> idolization of romantic
> love could hold sway to this degree in Japanese people of this generation

Yeah, I'm no expert on Japanese values, so the story will have the writer's
more Western biases slip in.

(people
> in their late thirties in the late 1980s). These could have been arranged
> marriages,
> for instance; why does your narrator believe that "passion" is what
> "marriage was
> supposed to be about"? For most of Japanese history, "passion" is what
> corrupts
> marriages, which are supposed to be about family continuity, bringing up
> children,
> and conservation of property.
>
> But, again, MB is a shoujo series, so female characters are supposed to
> angst about
> love, romance, and passion, while male characters aren't supposed to come
> off (to
> male readers, at least) as real people.
(While I own the first three
> manga, I've never
> really been able to get into them, and much of what I know of the later
> series is
> from reading Biles' fanfics.)

Never regard fanfics as a correct interpetation of the source material. And
when it comes to some writers, their biases make you wonder if they even
read the series at all. You'd be better of with a series synopses.

>
> Not sure that all this is any great help to you, but, as they say, take
> what you find
> useful and discard the rest!

I will. One thing I've never had problems with are people explaining why
they don't like something I did or why they think it's horrible flawed, or
some other problem it might have. I might not take the advice given for a
variety of reasons, but I'll look over things and think about it, at least.
I've been wrong on something and gone back and changed them.

Overall, this fic didn't turn out as good as I thought it might when I
envisioned it in my mind. I trimmed it a bit from the original outline (A
good thing, as it would have watered down the purpose behind the fic by
dragging things out uselessly). That happens sometimes. What is in the head
doesn't translate so good on paper. Sometimes the reverse is true. Yardwork
turned out much better than I thought it would. Ditto with Azumanga Royale,
so it works out both ways. This one I'm not so happy about. Part of it is
probably the 'voice' since this is a first person narrative. Those are some
of my most hit or miss stuff when it comes to writing the idea out.
Painegloss, Equality, and Separation went very well, while this and Symmetry
of Pain didn't.

Thanks for the help. I'll try looking it over to see if I can use some of
your suggestions.

DB Sommer
>
>
>
>
>



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[Michael P. Hopcroft]

DB Sommer wrote:

>I didn't think it was much elaborated on beyond the first ep, but I was
>uncertain since I saw all of 4 eps of it.
>
>
>
See the series, clear thrpough to the end if possible. This will not
only put you on the moist demadning rollercoaster you've ever ridden,
but it'll make the Odd Quad's motivations 9such as they are) seem much
clearer.

>It could have been that way too, although it probably makes them even more
>shallow than the reasoning appears on the surface. Except that it's not
>meant to be taken seriously. Naturally I create a serious story in it's
>place. Ironic, isn't it?
>
>
>
The Odd Quad ARE shallow, extremely so. They may be the worst parents in
anime because they don't care at all what kinds of hell their children
are going through. At least Kenji Tsukino of Sailor Moon cared enough to
get upset when he learned his 15-year-old duaghter was dating a college
student. The Odd Quad don't notice what's going on under their own roof
-- or, if they do notice, don't care. Miki could run away from home and
all they'd care about is whether she would send them gifts from wherever
she went.

>
>
>>In this connection, I think your narrative strategy to use one of the
>>women as
>>narrator
>>
>>
>was correct; this language would be much less believable (IMO)
>
>
>>coming
>>from a male character.
>>
>>
>
>In shoujo? It's standard that the men think like women. Of course, the
>reverse is true in for anime directed toward us guys. :)
>
>
>
Marnalade Boy may be the prototypical shoujo series, but many of the
male characters are actually very convincing. Mnay of them, of course,
are wounded and don't show it easily -- Yuu in particular (if he could
have convinced himself he DESERVED a chance to be happy things would
have gone a lot easier for him).

>Should you be
>
>
>>tempted to
>>revise more than trivially (which I suspect you won't), I suggest giving
>>the men's POVs
>>a different tone than the women's.
>>
>>
>
>I don't use theirs all that much.
>
>
>
>>But, again, MB is a shoujo series, so female characters are supposed to
>>angst about
>>love, romance, and passion, while male characters aren't supposed to come
>>off (to
>>male readers, at least) as real people.
>>
>>
That's funny. Yuu, Na-chan, Ginta and Kei-kun came across as real people
to me.

Michael Hopcroft





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[Nugar]

DB Sommer wrote:

>Cast Adrift of Memories Bliss
>(A Marmalade Boy fanfic)
>
>
>
>
$Never seen Marmalade boy, although I am vaguely aware that it's about
some girl and some boy who's parents remarried each other. I think.
This fic does kinda bear that out, though, even though I don't recognize
any of the characters at all.

>Or R+C books at:
>http://www.fanworks.org
>
>Writer’s forward:
>
$Is it fore word, or forward?

> This one came about as a result of seeing the first
>four episodes of MB at Otakon last year. Having only seen 4 eps, I might
>be contradicting some canon here, but I haven’t been able to find
>anything to contradict this, so here we go.
>
>Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
>I remember the epiphany. It was on a Wednesday between noon and one. I
>was eating lunch at the weekly get together with four of my oldest
>friends from when we were in high school. It was a ritual we developed
>to keep in touch with one another after we graduated and moved on in our
>lives. Sixteen years and I missed it maybe a total of four times, one of
>them when Miki was born. We were as regular as clockwork. It was as
>though the years had never happened and we were in high school selves
>once again. Over lunch we’d talk about many things. How our lives were
>going. Our marriages. Raising children. Sex. Anything. No subject was
>forbidden, that was how open we were.
>
$Miyabi: So there we were, and then he asks for a rim job!
Others: *gasp*

> No guys allowed either. Not ever.
>That was the one unbreakable rule. It was so we wouldn’t have to worry
>about putting on airs and looking good for them. This was a time for us
>to just be ourselves.
>
>It was Miyabi who said it. She was always the crudest out of all of us.
>If someone in our little gathering of hens swore, it was her nine times
>out of ten. We always attributed her coarse behavior as the principal
>reason for why she was still single.
>
>Miyabi was talking about some guy she was dating. She was going into
>great detail about him being a major hunk, and confessed to us she was
>having great sex with him. When I asked if she was going to marry him,
>Miyabi laughed and said it was nothing romantic, and that the two of
>them were just ‘fuck buddies.’
>
>
>It was the perfect term to describe my marriage to Jin.
>
>
>
$You know, as I read this, I was struck by the notion that fanfic
notwithstanding, if you changed the names, removed the falling in love
with the other couple part, and just had it be their efforts, successful
or not, to rekindle a failed marriage, this would be a really easy sell
to a women's magazine as an original story. Judging by the stories I've
read in women's magazines, this would be eaten up with cream and sugar,
and seconds asked for.

Oh, and damn this is clean. I'm not finding much to quibble about.

>
>
>And then it all came into focus with one brusque phrase. A fuck buddy.
>Someone you sleep with while lacking any real sense of attachment. The
>more I thought about it in conjunction with myself, the more I felt like
>that was what I had with my husband. While we loved each other, it
>wasn’t with any sense of infatuation. There was little in the way of
>passion between us. It wasn’t so much a marriage as much as a business
>partnership. We didn’t dislike one another, on the contrary, we liked
>each other very much, but at the same time it seemed we never cared
>intensely about one another. That was why I had never minded it when he
>told me a dress made me look fat: I didn’t love him so deeply that I
>would feel automatically hurt by a non-flattering comment he made about me.
>
>
>
$Sheesh. What's wrong with that? Some people have always got to pick
at the good things in their life and make them not so good.

>It was like my life was built on a lie, but that wasn’t exactly true. It
>was an illusion, one I created and fooled myself into believing was
>something it wasn’t. I found myself not with a husband, but with a fuck
>buddy. It was nothing like a true marriage. If I did love Jin before, I
>certainly didn’t now. Cared, but not loved, and there is a world of
>difference between the two.
>
>It was horrifying to me, but it was the truth. And as much as I cared
>about Jin, at the same time, I couldn’t pretend nothing was wrong. On
>the contrary, the very nature of our relationship, and the trust (which
>was a real thing) made it so I had to tell him how I felt, even if, for
>the first time in my life, I really and truly hurt him. But that honesty
>was the foundation of our relationship (unlike passion, which was what
>marriage was supposed to be about)
>
$Like hell.

>, and without that, we truly had nothing.
>
>
>
>The suite we had was truly romantic. Flower petal were scattered across
>the room, heart-shaped chocolates on our bed. Everything was in
>valentine red.
>
$Why that's considered romantic escapes me. I've never felt like
shagging when the room looks like the scene of a horrific demonic
slaughter, with all that blood red color everywhere. Heh, and my
impulse to comment on that in rooms like those is probably why my wife
doesn't think they're very romantic, either.

> The mood was perfect, but I felt no desire to do anything
>with Jin. We made a weak attempt at making out, but it was obvious
>neither of us had our hearts in it, despite intentionally avoiding
>having any sex since our discussion. But even now, with the setting and
>atmosphere ideal, our love making would have been perfunctory. We both
>realized it, so we dropped the matter and went to sleep. Only if things
>occurred naturally could it possibly work out between us.
>
>The next day we were a good distance out on the ocean, gaining the
>solitude we wanted. However, whatever we were hoping for wasn’t there.
>Nothing seemed to jump start the feelings we had hoped would be
>triggered on the trip. It was still early, but we were not off to a good
>start. There was little to talk about, since we knew each other so
>intimately. We simply couldn’t figure out where to begin.
>
>
>
$They should have tried an S&M escape instead of a cruise. It
definitely would have given them something to talk about.

>By the time dinner rolled around, we were frustrated at being stymied so
>easily. Also we were becoming bored. If nothing else, this was a
>vacation, and we both wanted to enjoy it, but the palpable cloud of
>worry that hovered between us prevented anything but misery from seeping
>in.
>
>During dinner we were seated at a table with another married couple the
>same age as us: Youji and Chiyako Matsura. Being naturally outgoing, Jin
>and I struck up a conversation with them. They both turned out to be
>just as friendly and sociable as us. We were quickly talking with each
>other as though we were lifelong friends.
>
>While my initial intention was to talk primarily with Chiyako, I found
>Youji just as interesting as his wife, if not more so. I don’t know what
>it was about him, but there was something fascinating about his
>presence. He was extremely handsome, witty, and interesting as well.
>Honestly, he was unlike any man I had met since Jin, but while we got
>along almost as quickly as Jin and I had, there was something else
>there, a tension that had been lacking when my husband and I met as
>teenagers.
>
$She wasn't married and contemplating cheating on her husband then.
That adds a bit of forbidden spice.

>I was eager the next day, my thoughts turning to breakfast with Youji
>and Chiyako. Jin was just as excited as I was. I managed to grab the
>bathroom first, taking extra time to make myself presentable.
>
$That's pretty inconsiderate. She knows she's going to take extra time,
yet she makes sure to make Jin be the one to wait.

> It was a
>bit odd, me trying so hard to look good for our new friends, but for
>some reason I wanted to look my best when meeting them, though my
>thoughts were more in line with impressing Youji.
>
>This time we arrived first. We grabbed a quartet of chairs on the deck,
>next to the ship’s swimming pool. The Matsuras weren’t long in a
>appearing, and I learned I didn’t have to worry about how much flesh I
>was showing when Chiyako removed her shirt and showed off an even
>smaller bikini than I did. While her bust was slightly larger than mine,
>my hips were narrower.
>
$And that's a good thing? Chiyako sounds much more attractive to me.

> I’d say we were about even in the looks
>department, and since I was getting along so well with her, I didn’t
>feel jealous at all.
>
>
>
>Despite the unusual seating arrangement, we got along well. We went
>rambling on with one another for a while, until I needed to roll over.
>Having second degree burns on the second full day of my vacation was not
>my idea of a good time. While it would have been more proper for Jin to
>apply the lotion to my back, Youji was closer. It seemed simpler to
>allow him to do it.
>
>
>Not wanting to trouble my husband, who was in deep conversation with
>Chiyako, I held out the bottle of lotion in offering to Yuji and asked
>him if he would reach those hard to get places on me. There was
>eagerness in his eye that I hadn’t seen in Jin’s for years, if ever.
>While it should have made me uneasy, instead it only excited me. Youji
>seemed to come to his senses as he reluctantly asked Jin for permission
>to lotion me up. Jin just gave a dismissive wave, as though it was the
>most trivial thing in the world and he would just as soon not have been
>troubled by it. Chiyako interrupted though, by telling her husband it
>would be all right if Jin was allowed to do the same to her. Youji
>laughed and said it was fine trade off. Now Jin seemed attentive and
>eager as he grabbed a bottle of lotion and Chiyako happily rolled over
>for him.
>
>The men really worked the lotion into our bodies. I was thrilled at the
>very touch of Youji in ways I couldn’t possibly describe. I felt like a
>little girl with how giddy I was. Youji was hesitant for just a moment
>once he got to my bottom, but there was no way I wanted those magic
>fingers of his to stop their dance upon my flesh.
>
$Just how small is that bikini? Inquiring perverts want to know.

> I urged him to go on,
>even being so bold as to say he had permission to rub the lotion in
>wherever he’d like. He laughed and took me up on my offer. Chiyako
>wasn’t any better, telling Jin he’d better do the same to her as she
>didn’t want to get burned in any sensitive places either.
>
>I can’t imagine what Chiyako and I must have looked like, being touched
>in such a familiar manner by men other than our husbands, while the men
>in question watched, no less. Had something like this happened in our
>neighborhood, it would have been borderline scandalous. Instead, I
>didn’t care. There was something about being in the presence of Youji
>that made me throw all my concerns to the wind. Slowly, insidiously, the
>rest of the world was ceasing to matter, and it was only Youji who I
>could focus on.
>
>
>
$Naughty girl.

>It was my turn to lotion up Youji. I took my time, savoring the feeling
>of his taut muscles under my fingertips. He was a lot like Jin,
>physically, and in as good a shape. Very little fat, and lean, but not
>in a skinny way. Despite the fact they were very physically similar to
>one another, I had no doubt there was something about Youji that was a
>bigger turn on than Jin had ever been.
>
>
>
$Yeah, he's forbidden fruit. This obsession with other women's husbands
could be detrimental to her and others happiness.

>We lay like that for some time, rotating a couple of times to keep from
>burning, talking the entire time as we got to know each other better. I
>found Youji fascinating. Not just in the life he led, but his
>personality, his caring, even the way he talked with a faint Kansai
>accent that was just barely detectable. If there was a downside to the
>man, I couldn’t tell what it was. He was incredible in every way. I had
>never met anyone like him.
>
>There was also something else, an almost instant connection between us.
>Even Jin and I hadn’t hit it off as powerfully as this. There was
>something much more basic, almost instinctive, which caused me to be
>drawn to him. I found myself envious of Chiyako, having a man like this
>as her husband. I wished Jin was exactly like Youji, and then I wouldn’t
>be so dissatisfied with my life. I’d never be dissatisfied with anything
>ever again.
>
$Bet she would.

> That was the effect he was having on me.
>
>My ruminations were interrupted by someone shouting about a pod of
>dolphins that were flitting about on the other side of the ship. I had
>always loved dolphins, and fantasized about seeing some on the vacation.
>I was up in an instant, declaring to the others that I wanted to watch
>them.
>
>That was all I needed to know. Lacking any reservations, we began
>pulling off what few clothes we had, and nearly threw each other onto
>the bed. For the next two hours we made engaged in what was the finest
>lovemaking of my life. I finally learned what other girls meant when
>they described their own relationships and the passions that sustained
>them. Being with Youji was indescribably wonderful. It was the fireworks
>and the love and the bliss that everyone gushes about when they’re with
>the person they love. I had never felt a sensation like it before, and
>never wanted it to end. It made what I did with Jin seem boring by
>comparison. Having our lovemaking end was the saddest moment in my life.
>Nothing was as tragic as that. Nothing.
>
>
>
$Not even the japanese fishing boats drowning dolphins in their nets off
the port bow.

>It was while we were lying in bed, that Youji began talking. He became
>serious, and I thought I knew what was to come. I heard from a couple of
>single girls I knew who had affairs with married men, about how the men
>broke it off. There would be excuses and apologies and explanations of
>how it was a one time fling and he could never leave Chiyako. We got
>caught up in the heat of the moment and let our emotions run out of
>control. Now we would have to go back to the others and act as though
>nothing had happened so we could continue moving on with our lives. It
>was all going to end forever. He hadn’t said a word and I already hated
>him more than I had ever hated Jin. And we weren’t even married.
>
>And then he said the words that would live with me for the rest of my life.
>
>“My marriage to Chiyako is over.”
>
>
>
$But I bet she gets the house, since he cheated on her first.

>Youji began explaining that they had only taken this trip as a last
>ditch effort to save their floundering marriage. It wasn’t an exact
>mirror image as mine and Jin’s had been, but it was close. He and
>
>I walked over to the sheets and looked them over. I noticed the wet
>spots immediately, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out the origin
>of the wetness. All of a sudden, my brain managed to process information
>that had just been lying around, all of my higher functions that had
>been focused solely on Youji. Now that I thought about it, I suppose the
>attraction between Chiyako and my husband had been obvious from the
>beginning. His interest in her was as great as my interest in Youji. And
>now, knowing what the Matsuras’ relationship was like, reflecting Jin
>and mine’s in so many ways, it seemed obvious that they too had taken an
>interest in one another. A very deep interest.
>
>
>
$Exactly one body part deep.

>Rather than feeling jealous, I felt relieved. I was happy for Jin, and
>for Chiyako. Now that I had fallen truly in love with someone (for
>perhaps the first time in my life), I didn’t have any anger left in my
>body. I only hoped they came to the same decision Youji and I had.
>Perhaps they were even looking for us now to tell us what had happened.
>It was strange, no, bizarre was perhaps the better word, of what had
>happened between the four of us. But it seemed to be the best answer to
>all our worries and concerns.
>
>We’d have to take some time off to be with each other, to make sure our
>emotions aren’t a transient thing, but deep in my heart, I knew they
>weren’t. Understanding Jin in every way for over half my life, and the
>seeming instant connection I had with both Matsura’s, I can’t help but
>feel that what seems to have happened between the four of us is meant to
>be lasting. It’s the perfect solution to all of our problems.
>
$While I still think it'd have been more entertaining if they'd have
gone to an S&M club, swinging is still pretty neat.

> I hadn’t
>been a proponent of Fate until that moment, but it was the only
>explanation. The odds that the four of us found each other during the
>greatest crisis of our lives were astronomical. Better a chance to find
>a needle in a haystack. There was only one complication from this
>seeming perfect solution that had me worried.
>
>How were we going to explain what happened to Miki?
>
>
>
$Well, she could always write a really good first person narrative
explaining her thought, hopes, fears, and reactions every step of the
way from her meeting with Jin to her discovery of her new love, print it
out, and hand it to her as an interesting work in speculative fiction
and let her figure it out.

>Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
>[End notes] There’s my little take on the thoughts of some of the
>underused characters in the series. Someone might have actually done
>this before, but if so, I was unaware of it. It’s just something that
>came to me and I had to write it down. Don’t count on me doing anymore
>MB fics. I still haven’t seen much of the series, and it doesn’t look
>like I’ll have the time to watch more. Still, it was a neat little thing.
>
>DB Sommer
>
>
$I really enjoyed this. Never seen the series, as I said, but this was
still pretty fun. Kept finding myself hoping they'd rekindle their
relationship, though. Very clean, no mistakes to speak of. Good job.

-Nugar



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[DB Sommer]

great to hear from you

Nugar wrote:


>>
>>
>>
> $Never seen Marmalade boy, although I am vaguely aware that it's about
> some girl and some boy who's parents remarried each other. I think. This
> fic does kinda bear that out, though, even though I don't recognize any of
> the characters at all.

It's not really about them in the slightest. Their unusual situation was the
contrivance for Miki and Yuu to meet and live under the same roof. It's pure
shoujo, which you can tell right off. Now Kimi ga Nozomu (The Eternity You
Wish For), that was a good romantic entaglement with much more mature themes
than normal shoujo. It starts out as a pretty good high school romance, but
that's misleading as everything changes with the events at the end of the
second episode. Without giving things away, years end up passing between the
second and third eos, and it becomes about the relationships the characters
have and if whose feelings for who are real or not.

>
>>Or R+C books at:
>>http://www.fanworks.org
>>
>>Writer’s forward:
>>
> $Is it fore word, or forward?

foreward, I believe.

>>them when Miki was born. We were as regular as clockwork. It was as though
>>the years had never happened and we were in high school selves once again.
>>Over lunch we’d talk about many things. How our lives were going. Our
>>marriages. Raising children. Sex. Anything. No subject was forbidden, that
>>was how open we were.
>>
> $Miyabi: So there we were, and then he asks for a rim job!
> Others: *gasp*

Yeah, like something out of sex and the city, except not completely
artifical. :)

>>
>>Miyabi was talking about some guy she was dating. She was going into great
>>detail about him being a major hunk, and confessed to us she was having
>>great sex with him. When I asked if she was going to marry him, Miyabi
>>laughed and said it was nothing romantic, and that the two of them were
>>just ‘fuck buddies.’
>>
>>
>>It was the perfect term to describe my marriage to Jin.
>>
>>
> $You know, as I read this, I was struck by the notion that fanfic
> notwithstanding, if you changed the names, removed the falling in love
> with the other couple part, and just had it be their efforts, successful
> or not, to rekindle a failed marriage, this would be a really easy sell to
> a women's magazine as an original story. Judging by the stories I've read
> in women's magazines, this would be eaten up with cream and sugar, and
> seconds asked for.

Heh. I never read those things, so I had no idea they were like that. I do
know most of them have blurbs about how to have great sex on each and every
cover. Even Playboy doesn't dwell on sex that much. :)

>
> Oh, and damn this is clean. I'm not finding much to quibble about.

First person narratives are that way. If anything, if the grammar is too
formal you tend to lose the 'voice' the character is speaking in. I always
thought once I find a character's voice first person is incredibly easy for
me.

>
>>
>>
>>And then it all came into focus with one brusque phrase. A fuck buddy.
>>Someone you sleep with while lacking any real sense of attachment. The
>>more I thought about it in conjunction with myself, the more I felt like
>>that was what I had with my husband. While we loved each other, it wasn’t
>>with any sense of infatuation. There was little in the way of passion
>>between us. It wasn’t so much a marriage as much as a business
>>partnership. We didn’t dislike one another, on the contrary, we liked each
>>other very much, but at the same time it seemed we never cared intensely
>>about one another. That was why I had never minded it when he told me a
>>dress made me look fat: I didn’t love him so deeply that I would feel
>>automatically hurt by a non-flattering comment he made about me.
>>
>>
> $Sheesh. What's wrong with that? Some people have always got to pick at
> the good things in their life and make them not so good.

Greed is a part of human nature. We always want more no matter how perfect
things seem. And that applies to far more than money.

>>
>>It was horrifying to me, but it was the truth. And as much as I cared
>>about Jin, at the same time, I couldn’t pretend nothing was wrong. On the
>>contrary, the very nature of our relationship, and the trust (which was a
>>real thing) made it so I had to tell him how I felt, even if, for the
>>first time in my life, I really and truly hurt him. But that honesty was
>>the foundation of our relationship (unlike passion, which was what
>>marriage was supposed to be about)
>>
> $Like hell.

Theoretically that's a part of it. Otherwise it feels more like a business
arrangement.

>
>>, and without that, we truly had nothing.
>>
>>
>>The suite we had was truly romantic. Flower petal were scattered across
>>the room, heart-shaped chocolates on our bed. Everything was in valentine
>>red.
>>
> $Why that's considered romantic escapes me. I've never felt like shagging
> when the room looks like the scene of a horrific demonic slaughter, with
> all that blood red color everywhere. Heh, and my impulse to comment on
> that in rooms like those is probably why my wife doesn't think they're
> very romantic, either.

I don't think wearing rocks are either, but try telling that to a woman who
has her eyes set on a diamond. :)

>
>>
>>The next day we were a good distance out on the ocean, gaining the
>>solitude we wanted. However, whatever we were hoping for wasn’t there.
>>Nothing seemed to jump start the feelings we had hoped would be triggered
>>on the trip. It was still early, but we were not off to a good start.
>>There was little to talk about, since we knew each other so intimately. We
>>simply couldn’t figure out where to begin.
>>
>>
> $They should have tried an S&M escape instead of a cruise. It definitely
> would have given them something to talk about.

Not very shoujo-y, though.

>
>>While my initial intention was to talk primarily with Chiyako, I found
>>Youji just as interesting as his wife, if not more so. I don’t know what
>>it was about him, but there was something fascinating about his presence.
>>He was extremely handsome, witty, and interesting as well. Honestly, he
>>was unlike any man I had met since Jin, but while we got along almost as
>>quickly as Jin and I had, there was something else there, a tension that
>>had been lacking when my husband and I met as teenagers.
>>
> $She wasn't married and contemplating cheating on her husband then. That
> adds a bit of forbidden spice.

It has been since pointed out to me that they were more than casual friends
in college as well, so this doesn't work all that well anymore. A pity, but
that's why writing a fic based only on 4 eps is not always a good thing. :)

>
>>I was eager the next day, my thoughts turning to breakfast with Youji and
>>Chiyako. Jin was just as excited as I was. I managed to grab the bathroom
>>first, taking extra time to make myself presentable.
>>
> $That's pretty inconsiderate. She knows she's going to take extra time,
> yet she makes sure to make Jin be the one to wait.

Shows where her mind is at this time.

>
>> It was a bit odd, me trying so hard to look good for our new friends, but
>> for some reason I wanted to look my best when meeting them, though my
>> thoughts were more in line with impressing Youji.
>>
>>This time we arrived first. We grabbed a quartet of chairs on the deck,
>>next to the ship’s swimming pool. The Matsuras weren’t long in a
>>appearing, and I learned I didn’t have to worry about how much flesh I was
>>showing when Chiyako removed her shirt and showed off an even smaller
>>bikini than I did. While her bust was slightly larger than mine, my hips
>>were narrower.
>>
> $And that's a good thing? Chiyako sounds much more attractive to me.

Some women don't like the idea of being 'hippy'.

>>
>>The men really worked the lotion into our bodies. I was thrilled at the
>>very touch of Youji in ways I couldn’t possibly describe. I felt like a
>>little girl with how giddy I was. Youji was hesitant for just a moment
>>once he got to my bottom, but there was no way I wanted those magic
>>fingers of his to stop their dance upon my flesh.
>>
> $Just how small is that bikini? Inquiring perverts want to know.

I leave it to the imagination, as the specifics aren't something she'd
really dwell upon.

>
>>
>>I can’t imagine what Chiyako and I must have looked like, being touched in
>>such a familiar manner by men other than our husbands, while the men in
>>question watched, no less. Had something like this happened in our
>>neighborhood, it would have been borderline scandalous. Instead, I didn’t
>>care. There was something about being in the presence of Youji that made
>>me throw all my concerns to the wind. Slowly, insidiously, the rest of the
>>world was ceasing to matter, and it was only Youji who I could focus on.
>>
>>
> $Naughty girl.

Very.

>
>>It was my turn to lotion up Youji. I took my time, savoring the feeling of
>>his taut muscles under my fingertips. He was a lot like Jin, physically,
>>and in as good a shape. Very little fat, and lean, but not in a skinny
>>way. Despite the fact they were very physically similar to one another, I
>>had no doubt there was something about Youji that was a bigger turn on
>>than Jin had ever been.
>>
>>
> $Yeah, he's forbidden fruit. This obsession with other women's husbands
> could be detrimental to her and others happiness.

As Miki points out in the series, both sets of parents are incredibly
twisted for arranging things in the way they do.

>>
>>There was also something else, an almost instant connection between us.
>>Even Jin and I hadn’t hit it off as powerfully as this. There was
>>something much more basic, almost instinctive, which caused me to be drawn
>>to him. I found myself envious of Chiyako, having a man like this as her
>>husband. I wished Jin was exactly like Youji, and then I wouldn’t be so
>>dissatisfied with my life. I’d never be dissatisfied with anything ever
>>again.
>>
> $Bet she would.

Like anyone heady with the effects of new love can see that far.

>>
>>That was all I needed to know. Lacking any reservations, we began pulling
>>off what few clothes we had, and nearly threw each other onto the bed. For
>>the next two hours we made engaged in what was the finest lovemaking of my
>>life. I finally learned what other girls meant when they described their
>>own relationships and the passions that sustained them. Being with Youji
>>was indescribably wonderful. It was the fireworks and the love and the
>>bliss that everyone gushes about when they’re with the person they love. I
>>had never felt a sensation like it before, and never wanted it to end. It
>>made what I did with Jin seem boring by comparison. Having our lovemaking
>>end was the saddest moment in my life. Nothing was as tragic as that.
>>Nothing.
>>
>>
> $Not even the japanese fishing boats drowning dolphins in their nets off
> the port bow.

Heh.

>
>>
>>And then he said the words that would live with me for the rest of my
>>life.
>>
>>“My marriage to Chiyako is over.”
>>
>>
> $But I bet she gets the house, since he cheated on her first.

Actually they pool their resources and share the same house. If ever there
was a ground for tilling couples swapping lemons, that is it.

>>spots immediately, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out the origin of
>>the wetness. All of a sudden, my brain managed to process information that
>>had just been lying around, all of my higher functions that had been
>>focused solely on Youji. Now that I thought about it, I suppose the
>>attraction between Chiyako and my husband had been obvious from the
>>beginning. His interest in her was as great as my interest in Youji. And
>>now, knowing what the Matsuras’ relationship was like, reflecting Jin and
>>mine’s in so many ways, it seemed obvious that they too had taken an
>>interest in one another. A very deep interest.
>>
>>
> $Exactly one body part deep.

Ha! Nice one

>
>> I hadn’t been a proponent of Fate until that moment, but it was the only
>> explanation. The odds that the four of us found each other during the
>> greatest crisis of our lives were astronomical. Better a chance to find a
>> needle in a haystack. There was only one complication from this seeming
>> perfect solution that had me worried.
>>
>>How were we going to explain what happened to Miki?
>>
>>
> $Well, she could always write a really good first person narrative
> explaining her thought, hopes, fears, and reactions every step of the way
> from her meeting with Jin to her discovery of her new love, print it out,
> and hand it to her as an interesting work in speculative fiction and let
> her figure it out.

They end up just saying it outright with a smile. It's quite remarkable how
they put the whole thing on Miki's shoulders. "If you make us feel guilty
and protest everyone's decision, you'll be making everyone else miserable'.

>
>>Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>>
>>[End notes] There’s my little take on the thoughts of some of the
>>underused characters in the series. Someone might have actually done this
>>before, but if so, I was unaware of it. It’s just something that came to
>>me and I had to write it down. Don’t count on me doing anymore MB fics. I
>>still haven’t seen much of the series, and it doesn’t look like I’ll have
>>the time to watch more. Still, it was a neat little thing.
>>
>>DB Sommer
>>
> $I really enjoyed this. Never seen the series, as I said, but this was
> still pretty fun. Kept finding myself hoping they'd rekindle their
> relationship, though. Very clean, no mistakes to speak of. Good job.

Thanks. And if things had worked out between them, the situation wouldn't
have been so amusing to everyone but Miki. :)

DB Sommer
>
> -Nugar
>
>
>
>



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[Schobronics]

"DB Sommer" <sommert@connecttime.net> wrote:

>It's not really about them in the slightest. Their unusual situation was the
>contrivance for Miki and Yuu to meet and live under the same roof. It's pure
>shoujo, which you can tell right off. Now Kimi ga Nozomu (The Eternity You
>Wish For), that was a good romantic entaglement with much more mature themes
>than normal shoujo. It starts out as a pretty good high school romance, but
>that's misleading as everything changes with the events at the end of the
>second episode. Without giving things away, years end up passing between the
>second and third eos, and it becomes about the relationships the characters
>have and if whose feelings for who are real or not.

Well, Marmalade Boy does start as a typical shoujo story with the
parental situation as a twist, but it doesn't quite stay that way. There
are the usual love triangles and so on, but later (similar to TEYWF the
story covers quite a long time), after Miki and Yuu finally get together,
the shit hits the fan, hard. They break up again, despite their feelings
for each other. One flees overseas and the future looks depressing...

Ja
Christian "Schobronics" Schober
--
http://www.animexx.de schobronics@animexx.de
Animexx Cofounder - DFFML admin - Member of ANT #SAS# & Fried Ant Anime
"Um, I don’t..., oh how about this Kiyone?"
The boomers started singing. * Mihoshi, Knights


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