DB Sommer
3rd February 2005, 09:49 PM
% Finally have the time to start looking this over.
The mission stunk. There was no doubt about it. Escorting an
egotistical government ambassador to a meeting in hostile territory
between two parties that couldn't stand the sight of each other was bad
enough. General Emerson made things worse by assigning Jeff to
determine while he was at the meeting the status
% That runs on a bit. Might be best to break it down into two sentences
or moving ‘while…meeting’ somewhere else
of the Veritechs stolen
during the Miami Base mutiny.
% That does seem odd. Jeff and his crew aren’t intel. They aren’t even
remotely suited for locating the stolen veritechs. Also there’s the
question of them being given a second assignment which would reduce
their ability to execute their primary objective.
It was enough to drive a man to drink.
% Or in Jeff’s case, drink more than he already did. While his body was
around the age of thirty, his liver was in the shape a ninety year old’s
might be.
That was exactly what Colonel Jeff Stuart
% Since you’re using his rank and last name, perhaps ‘Jeffery’ would be
more apropos.
"Honestly, Jeffrey, you should know the tradition by now," Gail
said with a mock frown. "When a warrior leads a successful raid to
capture horses, he paints horseshoes on his own, one for each horse
taken."
Looking at Katherine for confirmation or at least an explanation,
he was rewarded with her strange grin. "I think she's referring to the
four VF-1A's we snatched just before getting the training squadron hand-
me-downs," she said.
"Oh," Jeff acknowledged with a nod. "Of course. Be sure to thank
the paint shop people for such an
% a
professional job."
Gail began to reply but her answer was quickly swallowed by the
sound of the Ambassador's jet starting up. As both engines spun up to
idle speed, its three VIP passengers emerged from the Command Building.
There was no mistaking their urgency. Ambassador Lemieux led the way,
making her way across the tarmac with quick, sharp strides, her robes
flowing behind her like a the wings of an avenging angel. Her two
assistants scurried along in in
% extra ‘in’
her wake, engaged in an obvious debate
that was lost in the howl of jet engines.
"I guess we better saddle-up," Jeff said, frowning at the
procession. "It looks like her highness is in a hurry."
Settling into his new fighter's cockpit, Jeff noticed Gail had been
busy doing more than just preparing a stock fighter for him. The
original targeting computer, while certainly first rate, had obviously
been exchanged with the advanced one from his VF-1A. He hoped he
wouldn't need to find out if it was everything Friedman had said it was.
% Which means he’ll find out if it is.
He also noticed a number of other improvements but had little time to
admire them. The Ambassador's transport was on the move, taxiing out
with only a minimum of engine warmup.
Cursing impatient bureaucrats,
% Bah. Just curse them in general. They have it coming.
The Ambassador's transport starting its takeoff run caused him to
curse again.
% That parses off. Maybe something with the tenses
The woman was not waiting around for anybody or anything.
Certainly not poky RDF fighters.
% poky? Not sure what the word means in this instance.
Ten minutes out of Ozark Base, the Ambassador's transport reached
its cruising altitude. Jeff and Katherine took up their positions on
either side and slightly behind.
Despite this being a diplomatic mission, Jeff didn't like flying
into what could be hostile territory without reasonable precautions.
Switching frequencies, he cast a quick glance toward the plain
white transport before opening the channel. "Black Hawk One to Black
Lodge. You there Crittenton?"
% there, Crittenton?”
The Commander's final observation caused Jeff to chuckle. "Let's
hope not. We don't need an incident right now."
%But is there ever a good time for an incident?
They crossed the swollen Mississippi above the Madrid Falls and
entered York controlled airspace. With only one other fighter, both
armed only with their standard GU-11's, he felt particularly naked.
York fighters were not that far away. One determined strike with
missiles and the entire United World Government contingent would cease
to exist. Their own oversized auto cannons would not help them much
should they be jumped by a flock of missile-firing aircraft.
Their little flight emerged from some low clouds to reveal a small
town spread out to the north. It's
% Its
broken water tower bore the
optimistic name of Metropolis.
The place wasn't much to look at. Devastated by the Zentraedi-
inspired earthquake, virtually every building still bore some sign of
the cataclysm. Here and there, mounds of rubble marked where a
particularly large building had collapsed. Despite this, it was obvious
that life was hanging on
% Between the Masters and the Invid, they’ll take care of that.
.. A number of people moved about in the
streets, going about
% two ‘about’s. I’d make the first an ‘around’
the business of surviving and trying to rebuild
their shattered community.
Northwest of the town lay an open space with a single dark strip of
asphalt. As they got closer, he could see what they were supposed to
land
% just saying ‘landing strip’ would suffice.
"Well, since we brought these dress uniforms, I suppose we better
at least put them on." He watched her for a reaction.
"Sir?" she asked in a voice that sounded like a little girl who'd
done something terribly wrong.
"Yes?"
"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell you this," she began before
hesitating. "The Ambassador spoke to me before we left."
"Oh?" Jeff tried to act unconcerned but this had to be something
out of the ordinary to have upset her enough to elicit a confession.
"She said she picked me for this mission because I'm a woman and
she only trusts women."
% Paranoid. What a wonderful trait for an ambassador.
Looking past his Executive Officer,
% not sure if that should be capped in that situation
he spotted the two United
Confederate States' Veritech's parked further down the flight line. He
knew Katherine was struggling with something right now but
% now, but
quickening his pace. He wondered just who 'Mr. High and Mighty' might
be. His former Executive Officer, perhaps?
It didn't take long for him
% I think you can drop the ‘for him’
to reach the aging operations building
and find Katherine. Together they endured the indignity of a search for
weapons and explosives. Jeff grumbled through the ordeal but refrained
from pointing out that he had just outside a fighter
% that parses off as well
"You can change in there or out here in the hall," his escort said,
casting a leer at Katherine who had also balked at using the room
offered her. Obviously, it was in no better shape than the one facing
Jeff.
Kicking open the door again, he snapped a disgusted expression at
his guard before entering. The amount of mold on just about everything
in sight combined with the odor of long abandoned and stopped up toilets
contributed to an atmosphere that left Jeff vowing to wear his uniform
home in place of having to endure the disgusting locker room again.
Changing in record time, he retreated into the marginally better
hallway. Katherine had also changed quickly, stepping into the hall and
gasping for cleaner air. The look on her face confirmed the womens'
locker room wasn't any better.
% You sort of mention that at the end of last paragraph. It feels off to
make so much about it a second time
York guards subjected them both to another round of serious
searches before escorting them to yet another building that contained a
large carpeted meeting room in its middle. It wasn't in much better
shape than the rest of the complex.
The thin carpeting on the floor was stained in several spots, as if
water had leaked through the roof. The room reeked of a mustiness that
indicated gross neglect. The majority of the room's lighting came from
windows high overhead, despite the struggle of a few valiant florescent
lights that hummed and buzzed, adding a pitiful yellow tint to the room.
In the middle of the room, a series of long tables were pushed into
a rough square with three seats arranged on each side. Someone had
tried to match-up the various types and styles of mismatched chairs so
no one would feel slighted, leaving the whole arrangement looking more
like a family picnic than a diplomatic negotiation.
% Must be a plot to promote peace and harmony.
The room had only four doors for access, two on one side and two
more on the opposite wall. Each door was close enough to its own
corner, leaving the impression of opposite corners in a boxing ring.
Jeff hoped his impression wasn't an omen of what was to come.
He was just calculating escape routes, should the need arise, when
he was interrupted by the Ambassador's approach. Ignoring him, she slid
up to Katherine with a kind of expression that suggested she was looking
for something.
"You look marvelous, Captain," she said in a honey sweet voice as
she fingered the shoulder strap on Katherine's coat. "You do credit to
that uniform."
Jeff fought the urge to clear his throat or roll his eyes.
Instead, he pretended to look away, like he was counting the number of
leak stains on the ceiling.
% It was two hundred.
Without moving his head, he caught the Ambassador sliding her hands
down the outside of Katherine's sleeves. The look on his executive
officer's face was priceless.
% I’m sure Kate would feel the same way if it was a male ambassador
coming on to her CO.
"Madam Ambassador, the delegates are arriving," one of her
assistants called.
With a disgusted sigh, the woman closed her eyes and appeared
trying to control
% That parses off as well
Showers, slimy ambassadors, and dumpy accommodations were quickly
forgotten as the double doors in the opposite corner of the room opened.
What emerged through the opening they revealed
% ‘they revealed’ throws things way off
"There's something you don't see everyday," Katherine said in a low
voice.
"Thank goodness," Jeff replied. Such ecclesiastical arrogance and
religious imagery was a far cry from those of a religious calling he
knew - Aunt Margie, for example.
% Yeah. Aw, he’s just jealous because he doesn’t get to wear bright
colors like they do.
A second door, closer
% closed
"Captain Lee," Jeff replied in a formal tone. "I haven't seen you
since your last command. It was down in Florida, was it not?"
Donnie's grin only flickered before growing into an almost reserved
smile. "It's been a long time. By the way, it's Commander Lee now."
% Jeff: If I have to call you commander, then you have to address me as
‘Lord High Imperceptor Stuart”
Jeff chose not to respond. Donnie was always the 'ladies man' in
his squadron, like a teenager with over-active hormones.
% ie: Figher jock.
"Brothers?"
"Perhaps that is too strong. However, we do have an interest in
the outcome of this conference."
% Mostly we don’t want you two getting too cozy and teaming up against us.
anything. When I suggested mercy, some even questioned MY loyalty."
That caused Jeff to raise an eyebrow. "Loyalty? What does a
mutineer know about loyalty?"
% Mutineer. Warrior of Independence. Depends on your motives and how
strongly you feel for them.
Donnie slowly shook his head. "You don't understand. Almost all
our pilots and crew are from the region. They felt a calling from their
native land. Surely, you can feel it as well, Colonel. You're a man of
old Virginia. Your ancestor was one of the icons of our cause."
% Jeff: Yes, and another of my ancestors was a street bum. Funny how no
one ever insists I should follow in his footsteps.
"That era is dead as our ancestors. As I recall, it wasn't the
most enlightened culture to begin with."
% ‘Enlightenment’ is a flexible term that has no set definition, making
it fairly useless.
"Times were different then, Colonel. People did not appreciate the
true worth of a man."
"Oh, I don't know. I understand some people made quite a handsome
living buying and selling their fellow humans," Jeff replied.
"Well..." Donnie's voice trailed off as if he had nothing to say
to such an accusation.
% Actually ‘Exactly’ would probably be appropriate, since ignorance back
then seemed to be the point he was making.
"I can understand your bitterness over the
mutiny. It wasn't the way I wanted to part with the RDF but that
decision was made for me by the ASC."
"They can be asses at times, I'll agree, but they will eventually
become the military arm of the new United World Government."
% Which makes Anatole Leonard your new dictator for life. Jeff isn’t
scoring points with that argument.
"That's not what Lieutenant Robins says."
Donnie's response to hearing Missy's name was electric. "She's
alive? Oh, I AM glad, Colonel."
"No thanks to you."
With a stunned expression, Donnie slowly shook his head. "Clearly,
you don't understand. Who do you think had her moved to the Day Room
hut next to the hangar where we had parked her Veritech? Why do you
think a certain back door to that hangar was left unguarded? And why do
you think her lone guard just happened to be a sergeant who had an
infatuation with Miss Robins? No, Colonel, I had no hand in her escape
at all," he replied bitterly.
% Heh. Got him there.
"I trust you meant that professionally," Jeff replied without
looking her way. He had heard rumors but never thought any of them were
actually true.
"Colonel, they are sleeping together."
% Jeff: Well, as long as money is changing hands, it’s still professionally.
An uncomfortable pause after the guards entered resulted in a great
deal of exchanged glances and nervous shifting of positions. Jeff just
crossed his arms and frowned. He knew well the Zentraedi tactic of
intimidation. He just wished they hadn't chosen now to use it. In this
setting, it was guaranteed to set a confrontational tone to the meeting.
% I’m pretty sure Zentraedi are confrontational in everything, like
Ono’s former relationship he just thought about.
The introductions that followed, were anything but a good start to
the negotiations. When introduced, the York Ambassador refused to shake
the Zentraedi's hand, causing a moment of tense silence. Instinctively,
Jeff checked the various guards around the room. If there was going to
be any trouble, it would most likely begin with them.
The York escorts remained at their posts, but just barely, their
eyes burning with all the hatred of religious fanatics. Donnie and his
companion continued to lounge in their corner, coolly eyeing the
Zentraedi like fighters sizing-up their opponents. The Zentraedi
escorts calmly remained at their posts on either side of and just inside
the door, heir
% their
"Right, now that we're all settled, I want to extend my personal
welcome to Father Damian from the..." She paused to consult her notes.
"Oh yes, the Holy Kingdom of York."
% Oh yes, not knowing the name of one of the sides is a great sign of
how seriously you’re taking things.
The Zentraedi Ambassador just grunted and rocked back with crossed
arms in his seat. His expression was anything but conciliatory. Jeff
knew this was normal behavior for Zentraedi. Nothing more than their way
of negotiation. He hoped the others understood that.
% They won’t care. They already made up their minds. What they need are
the Ahb at the table. They know how to negotiate.
Father Damien, however, slowly rumbled to life, as if his patience
at sharing the same air as his hated enemies was too much to bear. "So
long as the devil-spawn from the dark realm beyond the stars exist among
us, there can be no peace."
% Tole smiled for the first time. “I see. You wish to do combat. This is
a position I can respect.” He made a slashing motion with is arm and his
guard fired on the Yorkies.
The Ambassador's transport started to move the instant she was
aboard, its door being pulled shut as it turned towards the taxiway. A
glance at the assembling York troops told Jeff why. Things had
deteriorated - badly. York officers were gathering their men and
ordering them forward. Some had already started moving towards the
Ambassador's transport.
job well.
% I’d say they had orders to do this at the proper signal, which was
when the Zentreadi left.
"Black Lodge, this is Black Hawk." Jeff needed more eyes and a
good view of the overall situation. Commander Crittenton was just the
guy to give it to him.
The Commander's face appeared on the video screen. "I'm already on
it, Colonel. What on earth happened?"
"Religion and government just collided."
% Well, government and government collisions also produce the same
spectacular results.
"At the moment, no. They seem to be just milling about."
"Launch the Alert Team and have them join us at the Nexus," Jeff
snapped, a little more forcefully than he intended. The Nexus was the
unofficial RDF designation for the point where York and UCS lands
intersected with the Protectorate and the United World Government's
territories. If there was going to be trouble, forces at the Nexus
would give the RDF flexibility. "And notify Captain Parino to get a
flight airborne. I a hot
% Something missing there
Katherine must had read his move.
% must have, (I think)
acting in a threatening... just a moment." The Commander's face
disappeared. Jeff checked his radar again. He could see the blob that
had to be the York fighters less than one hundred miles behind him. One
blip separated itself from the blob and began moving west. "A flight of
four are headed your way, Colonel. They will be within missile range in
less than two minutes."
% Great.
If the York fighters were packing serious long-range heat, they
could open fire well before he could respond with only his GU-11.
Sophisticated guidance systems of most missiles, if they launched enough
of them, would do the job of destroying his flight without endangering
themselves.
"What do we do, Colonel?" Katherine asked.
"Let's not overreact. Maybe they are
% They’re sounds better, since it’s more rushed, and he uses a
contraction a few words later.
just curious why we haven't
crossed over the border yet."
"Not likely. Hurry that Cat's Eye. I've got a feeling we are
% ditto here about making it ‘we’re’, It sounds stilted otherwise.
"You know I can't let you do this."
"Colonel, you can't take me in a fair fight,"
% In his piece of crap veritech? I’d bet he could.
Katherine's Veritech reconfigure
% reconfigured
Closing her notebook, Bobbi Jo stood up. Her expression whenn
% when
"I... I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore," came Katherine's
voice.
% Jeff: Okay, as long as you’re certain you can live with the
consequences of one of the others dying. I’d hate to think you’d be left
saying, “If I had been there, my friend might still be alive.” If you
can, then go for it.
"Captain, what do you think would have happened to Samantha today
if you weren't there?" he asked in a fatherly way.
% Heh. There it is.
"I can't believe our own government would do such a thing,"
% It’s Leonard’s regime now, and he’s doing away with the disloyal
elements.
Pushing open one of the glass doors, he drew a deep breath of fresh
early summer Ozark air.
% Ah, lots of manure in it, then.
A cool breeze swarmed around him bearing the
fragrant scent of fresh vegetation.
As the breeze swirled past him
% can drop this ‘him’
needed my help more than the Colonel." Using the time honored method of
pilots describing their exploits, Samantha used her flattened hands to
show how the fight progressed. "Man, I was all over that punk but he
musta been one of their aces. He pulle d
% pulled
I was just coming out for my evening jog. You want to run with
me?" Heather asked as she stretched her arms above her head.
"Run? With you?" Annie considered the offer, biting her lower lip
as she thought.
"Yeah, it'll be nice to have someone to talk to. I really don't
have any friends here. The others just want to sit around and gossip or
watch TV." Heather stopped stretching and regarded the taller girl with
a hopeful expression.
Annie finally nodded. Why not? A run might feel good right now.
It would certainly give her a chance to figure out this young girl who
acted like she wanted to be friends. Nobody had ever shown they wanted
to be her friend before. "Sure."
Together, the girls slowly jogged towards the taxiway, following
the blue lights.
% Awww. How sugary and sweet. Someone needs to drop some napalm on them,
and liven things up.
The next morning, Jeffrey slowly made his way down the steps from
his second floor apartment. While everything that happened the night
before was still alive in his mind, it hurt just thinking about it. In
fact, just about everything caused his head to hurt.
% Neurons flitting about was the worst
"Could you be more specific and try to lower your voice when you
do." Jeff rubbed his forehead. He did NOT need loud noises of any kind
this morning.
"Mad Dog and that woman," Dutch groused. "Every night. In the
bedroom next to mine. I need my sleep, Jeffrey."
% Jeff: Why don’t you ask to join them?
for his attention. Picking up the empty bar glass from his desk,
he held it up and smiled. They were still a squadron.
% Nice chapter that had some action in it as well as good emotion. Nice
to see the focus on Jeff and Kate, and moving the plot along. Nice to
see you’re still working on this.
DB Sommer
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The mission stunk. There was no doubt about it. Escorting an
egotistical government ambassador to a meeting in hostile territory
between two parties that couldn't stand the sight of each other was bad
enough. General Emerson made things worse by assigning Jeff to
determine while he was at the meeting the status
% That runs on a bit. Might be best to break it down into two sentences
or moving ‘while…meeting’ somewhere else
of the Veritechs stolen
during the Miami Base mutiny.
% That does seem odd. Jeff and his crew aren’t intel. They aren’t even
remotely suited for locating the stolen veritechs. Also there’s the
question of them being given a second assignment which would reduce
their ability to execute their primary objective.
It was enough to drive a man to drink.
% Or in Jeff’s case, drink more than he already did. While his body was
around the age of thirty, his liver was in the shape a ninety year old’s
might be.
That was exactly what Colonel Jeff Stuart
% Since you’re using his rank and last name, perhaps ‘Jeffery’ would be
more apropos.
"Honestly, Jeffrey, you should know the tradition by now," Gail
said with a mock frown. "When a warrior leads a successful raid to
capture horses, he paints horseshoes on his own, one for each horse
taken."
Looking at Katherine for confirmation or at least an explanation,
he was rewarded with her strange grin. "I think she's referring to the
four VF-1A's we snatched just before getting the training squadron hand-
me-downs," she said.
"Oh," Jeff acknowledged with a nod. "Of course. Be sure to thank
the paint shop people for such an
% a
professional job."
Gail began to reply but her answer was quickly swallowed by the
sound of the Ambassador's jet starting up. As both engines spun up to
idle speed, its three VIP passengers emerged from the Command Building.
There was no mistaking their urgency. Ambassador Lemieux led the way,
making her way across the tarmac with quick, sharp strides, her robes
flowing behind her like a the wings of an avenging angel. Her two
assistants scurried along in in
% extra ‘in’
her wake, engaged in an obvious debate
that was lost in the howl of jet engines.
"I guess we better saddle-up," Jeff said, frowning at the
procession. "It looks like her highness is in a hurry."
Settling into his new fighter's cockpit, Jeff noticed Gail had been
busy doing more than just preparing a stock fighter for him. The
original targeting computer, while certainly first rate, had obviously
been exchanged with the advanced one from his VF-1A. He hoped he
wouldn't need to find out if it was everything Friedman had said it was.
% Which means he’ll find out if it is.
He also noticed a number of other improvements but had little time to
admire them. The Ambassador's transport was on the move, taxiing out
with only a minimum of engine warmup.
Cursing impatient bureaucrats,
% Bah. Just curse them in general. They have it coming.
The Ambassador's transport starting its takeoff run caused him to
curse again.
% That parses off. Maybe something with the tenses
The woman was not waiting around for anybody or anything.
Certainly not poky RDF fighters.
% poky? Not sure what the word means in this instance.
Ten minutes out of Ozark Base, the Ambassador's transport reached
its cruising altitude. Jeff and Katherine took up their positions on
either side and slightly behind.
Despite this being a diplomatic mission, Jeff didn't like flying
into what could be hostile territory without reasonable precautions.
Switching frequencies, he cast a quick glance toward the plain
white transport before opening the channel. "Black Hawk One to Black
Lodge. You there Crittenton?"
% there, Crittenton?”
The Commander's final observation caused Jeff to chuckle. "Let's
hope not. We don't need an incident right now."
%But is there ever a good time for an incident?
They crossed the swollen Mississippi above the Madrid Falls and
entered York controlled airspace. With only one other fighter, both
armed only with their standard GU-11's, he felt particularly naked.
York fighters were not that far away. One determined strike with
missiles and the entire United World Government contingent would cease
to exist. Their own oversized auto cannons would not help them much
should they be jumped by a flock of missile-firing aircraft.
Their little flight emerged from some low clouds to reveal a small
town spread out to the north. It's
% Its
broken water tower bore the
optimistic name of Metropolis.
The place wasn't much to look at. Devastated by the Zentraedi-
inspired earthquake, virtually every building still bore some sign of
the cataclysm. Here and there, mounds of rubble marked where a
particularly large building had collapsed. Despite this, it was obvious
that life was hanging on
% Between the Masters and the Invid, they’ll take care of that.
.. A number of people moved about in the
streets, going about
% two ‘about’s. I’d make the first an ‘around’
the business of surviving and trying to rebuild
their shattered community.
Northwest of the town lay an open space with a single dark strip of
asphalt. As they got closer, he could see what they were supposed to
land
% just saying ‘landing strip’ would suffice.
"Well, since we brought these dress uniforms, I suppose we better
at least put them on." He watched her for a reaction.
"Sir?" she asked in a voice that sounded like a little girl who'd
done something terribly wrong.
"Yes?"
"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to tell you this," she began before
hesitating. "The Ambassador spoke to me before we left."
"Oh?" Jeff tried to act unconcerned but this had to be something
out of the ordinary to have upset her enough to elicit a confession.
"She said she picked me for this mission because I'm a woman and
she only trusts women."
% Paranoid. What a wonderful trait for an ambassador.
Looking past his Executive Officer,
% not sure if that should be capped in that situation
he spotted the two United
Confederate States' Veritech's parked further down the flight line. He
knew Katherine was struggling with something right now but
% now, but
quickening his pace. He wondered just who 'Mr. High and Mighty' might
be. His former Executive Officer, perhaps?
It didn't take long for him
% I think you can drop the ‘for him’
to reach the aging operations building
and find Katherine. Together they endured the indignity of a search for
weapons and explosives. Jeff grumbled through the ordeal but refrained
from pointing out that he had just outside a fighter
% that parses off as well
"You can change in there or out here in the hall," his escort said,
casting a leer at Katherine who had also balked at using the room
offered her. Obviously, it was in no better shape than the one facing
Jeff.
Kicking open the door again, he snapped a disgusted expression at
his guard before entering. The amount of mold on just about everything
in sight combined with the odor of long abandoned and stopped up toilets
contributed to an atmosphere that left Jeff vowing to wear his uniform
home in place of having to endure the disgusting locker room again.
Changing in record time, he retreated into the marginally better
hallway. Katherine had also changed quickly, stepping into the hall and
gasping for cleaner air. The look on her face confirmed the womens'
locker room wasn't any better.
% You sort of mention that at the end of last paragraph. It feels off to
make so much about it a second time
York guards subjected them both to another round of serious
searches before escorting them to yet another building that contained a
large carpeted meeting room in its middle. It wasn't in much better
shape than the rest of the complex.
The thin carpeting on the floor was stained in several spots, as if
water had leaked through the roof. The room reeked of a mustiness that
indicated gross neglect. The majority of the room's lighting came from
windows high overhead, despite the struggle of a few valiant florescent
lights that hummed and buzzed, adding a pitiful yellow tint to the room.
In the middle of the room, a series of long tables were pushed into
a rough square with three seats arranged on each side. Someone had
tried to match-up the various types and styles of mismatched chairs so
no one would feel slighted, leaving the whole arrangement looking more
like a family picnic than a diplomatic negotiation.
% Must be a plot to promote peace and harmony.
The room had only four doors for access, two on one side and two
more on the opposite wall. Each door was close enough to its own
corner, leaving the impression of opposite corners in a boxing ring.
Jeff hoped his impression wasn't an omen of what was to come.
He was just calculating escape routes, should the need arise, when
he was interrupted by the Ambassador's approach. Ignoring him, she slid
up to Katherine with a kind of expression that suggested she was looking
for something.
"You look marvelous, Captain," she said in a honey sweet voice as
she fingered the shoulder strap on Katherine's coat. "You do credit to
that uniform."
Jeff fought the urge to clear his throat or roll his eyes.
Instead, he pretended to look away, like he was counting the number of
leak stains on the ceiling.
% It was two hundred.
Without moving his head, he caught the Ambassador sliding her hands
down the outside of Katherine's sleeves. The look on his executive
officer's face was priceless.
% I’m sure Kate would feel the same way if it was a male ambassador
coming on to her CO.
"Madam Ambassador, the delegates are arriving," one of her
assistants called.
With a disgusted sigh, the woman closed her eyes and appeared
trying to control
% That parses off as well
Showers, slimy ambassadors, and dumpy accommodations were quickly
forgotten as the double doors in the opposite corner of the room opened.
What emerged through the opening they revealed
% ‘they revealed’ throws things way off
"There's something you don't see everyday," Katherine said in a low
voice.
"Thank goodness," Jeff replied. Such ecclesiastical arrogance and
religious imagery was a far cry from those of a religious calling he
knew - Aunt Margie, for example.
% Yeah. Aw, he’s just jealous because he doesn’t get to wear bright
colors like they do.
A second door, closer
% closed
"Captain Lee," Jeff replied in a formal tone. "I haven't seen you
since your last command. It was down in Florida, was it not?"
Donnie's grin only flickered before growing into an almost reserved
smile. "It's been a long time. By the way, it's Commander Lee now."
% Jeff: If I have to call you commander, then you have to address me as
‘Lord High Imperceptor Stuart”
Jeff chose not to respond. Donnie was always the 'ladies man' in
his squadron, like a teenager with over-active hormones.
% ie: Figher jock.
"Brothers?"
"Perhaps that is too strong. However, we do have an interest in
the outcome of this conference."
% Mostly we don’t want you two getting too cozy and teaming up against us.
anything. When I suggested mercy, some even questioned MY loyalty."
That caused Jeff to raise an eyebrow. "Loyalty? What does a
mutineer know about loyalty?"
% Mutineer. Warrior of Independence. Depends on your motives and how
strongly you feel for them.
Donnie slowly shook his head. "You don't understand. Almost all
our pilots and crew are from the region. They felt a calling from their
native land. Surely, you can feel it as well, Colonel. You're a man of
old Virginia. Your ancestor was one of the icons of our cause."
% Jeff: Yes, and another of my ancestors was a street bum. Funny how no
one ever insists I should follow in his footsteps.
"That era is dead as our ancestors. As I recall, it wasn't the
most enlightened culture to begin with."
% ‘Enlightenment’ is a flexible term that has no set definition, making
it fairly useless.
"Times were different then, Colonel. People did not appreciate the
true worth of a man."
"Oh, I don't know. I understand some people made quite a handsome
living buying and selling their fellow humans," Jeff replied.
"Well..." Donnie's voice trailed off as if he had nothing to say
to such an accusation.
% Actually ‘Exactly’ would probably be appropriate, since ignorance back
then seemed to be the point he was making.
"I can understand your bitterness over the
mutiny. It wasn't the way I wanted to part with the RDF but that
decision was made for me by the ASC."
"They can be asses at times, I'll agree, but they will eventually
become the military arm of the new United World Government."
% Which makes Anatole Leonard your new dictator for life. Jeff isn’t
scoring points with that argument.
"That's not what Lieutenant Robins says."
Donnie's response to hearing Missy's name was electric. "She's
alive? Oh, I AM glad, Colonel."
"No thanks to you."
With a stunned expression, Donnie slowly shook his head. "Clearly,
you don't understand. Who do you think had her moved to the Day Room
hut next to the hangar where we had parked her Veritech? Why do you
think a certain back door to that hangar was left unguarded? And why do
you think her lone guard just happened to be a sergeant who had an
infatuation with Miss Robins? No, Colonel, I had no hand in her escape
at all," he replied bitterly.
% Heh. Got him there.
"I trust you meant that professionally," Jeff replied without
looking her way. He had heard rumors but never thought any of them were
actually true.
"Colonel, they are sleeping together."
% Jeff: Well, as long as money is changing hands, it’s still professionally.
An uncomfortable pause after the guards entered resulted in a great
deal of exchanged glances and nervous shifting of positions. Jeff just
crossed his arms and frowned. He knew well the Zentraedi tactic of
intimidation. He just wished they hadn't chosen now to use it. In this
setting, it was guaranteed to set a confrontational tone to the meeting.
% I’m pretty sure Zentraedi are confrontational in everything, like
Ono’s former relationship he just thought about.
The introductions that followed, were anything but a good start to
the negotiations. When introduced, the York Ambassador refused to shake
the Zentraedi's hand, causing a moment of tense silence. Instinctively,
Jeff checked the various guards around the room. If there was going to
be any trouble, it would most likely begin with them.
The York escorts remained at their posts, but just barely, their
eyes burning with all the hatred of religious fanatics. Donnie and his
companion continued to lounge in their corner, coolly eyeing the
Zentraedi like fighters sizing-up their opponents. The Zentraedi
escorts calmly remained at their posts on either side of and just inside
the door, heir
% their
"Right, now that we're all settled, I want to extend my personal
welcome to Father Damian from the..." She paused to consult her notes.
"Oh yes, the Holy Kingdom of York."
% Oh yes, not knowing the name of one of the sides is a great sign of
how seriously you’re taking things.
The Zentraedi Ambassador just grunted and rocked back with crossed
arms in his seat. His expression was anything but conciliatory. Jeff
knew this was normal behavior for Zentraedi. Nothing more than their way
of negotiation. He hoped the others understood that.
% They won’t care. They already made up their minds. What they need are
the Ahb at the table. They know how to negotiate.
Father Damien, however, slowly rumbled to life, as if his patience
at sharing the same air as his hated enemies was too much to bear. "So
long as the devil-spawn from the dark realm beyond the stars exist among
us, there can be no peace."
% Tole smiled for the first time. “I see. You wish to do combat. This is
a position I can respect.” He made a slashing motion with is arm and his
guard fired on the Yorkies.
The Ambassador's transport started to move the instant she was
aboard, its door being pulled shut as it turned towards the taxiway. A
glance at the assembling York troops told Jeff why. Things had
deteriorated - badly. York officers were gathering their men and
ordering them forward. Some had already started moving towards the
Ambassador's transport.
job well.
% I’d say they had orders to do this at the proper signal, which was
when the Zentreadi left.
"Black Lodge, this is Black Hawk." Jeff needed more eyes and a
good view of the overall situation. Commander Crittenton was just the
guy to give it to him.
The Commander's face appeared on the video screen. "I'm already on
it, Colonel. What on earth happened?"
"Religion and government just collided."
% Well, government and government collisions also produce the same
spectacular results.
"At the moment, no. They seem to be just milling about."
"Launch the Alert Team and have them join us at the Nexus," Jeff
snapped, a little more forcefully than he intended. The Nexus was the
unofficial RDF designation for the point where York and UCS lands
intersected with the Protectorate and the United World Government's
territories. If there was going to be trouble, forces at the Nexus
would give the RDF flexibility. "And notify Captain Parino to get a
flight airborne. I a hot
% Something missing there
Katherine must had read his move.
% must have, (I think)
acting in a threatening... just a moment." The Commander's face
disappeared. Jeff checked his radar again. He could see the blob that
had to be the York fighters less than one hundred miles behind him. One
blip separated itself from the blob and began moving west. "A flight of
four are headed your way, Colonel. They will be within missile range in
less than two minutes."
% Great.
If the York fighters were packing serious long-range heat, they
could open fire well before he could respond with only his GU-11.
Sophisticated guidance systems of most missiles, if they launched enough
of them, would do the job of destroying his flight without endangering
themselves.
"What do we do, Colonel?" Katherine asked.
"Let's not overreact. Maybe they are
% They’re sounds better, since it’s more rushed, and he uses a
contraction a few words later.
just curious why we haven't
crossed over the border yet."
"Not likely. Hurry that Cat's Eye. I've got a feeling we are
% ditto here about making it ‘we’re’, It sounds stilted otherwise.
"You know I can't let you do this."
"Colonel, you can't take me in a fair fight,"
% In his piece of crap veritech? I’d bet he could.
Katherine's Veritech reconfigure
% reconfigured
Closing her notebook, Bobbi Jo stood up. Her expression whenn
% when
"I... I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore," came Katherine's
voice.
% Jeff: Okay, as long as you’re certain you can live with the
consequences of one of the others dying. I’d hate to think you’d be left
saying, “If I had been there, my friend might still be alive.” If you
can, then go for it.
"Captain, what do you think would have happened to Samantha today
if you weren't there?" he asked in a fatherly way.
% Heh. There it is.
"I can't believe our own government would do such a thing,"
% It’s Leonard’s regime now, and he’s doing away with the disloyal
elements.
Pushing open one of the glass doors, he drew a deep breath of fresh
early summer Ozark air.
% Ah, lots of manure in it, then.
A cool breeze swarmed around him bearing the
fragrant scent of fresh vegetation.
As the breeze swirled past him
% can drop this ‘him’
needed my help more than the Colonel." Using the time honored method of
pilots describing their exploits, Samantha used her flattened hands to
show how the fight progressed. "Man, I was all over that punk but he
musta been one of their aces. He pulle d
% pulled
I was just coming out for my evening jog. You want to run with
me?" Heather asked as she stretched her arms above her head.
"Run? With you?" Annie considered the offer, biting her lower lip
as she thought.
"Yeah, it'll be nice to have someone to talk to. I really don't
have any friends here. The others just want to sit around and gossip or
watch TV." Heather stopped stretching and regarded the taller girl with
a hopeful expression.
Annie finally nodded. Why not? A run might feel good right now.
It would certainly give her a chance to figure out this young girl who
acted like she wanted to be friends. Nobody had ever shown they wanted
to be her friend before. "Sure."
Together, the girls slowly jogged towards the taxiway, following
the blue lights.
% Awww. How sugary and sweet. Someone needs to drop some napalm on them,
and liven things up.
The next morning, Jeffrey slowly made his way down the steps from
his second floor apartment. While everything that happened the night
before was still alive in his mind, it hurt just thinking about it. In
fact, just about everything caused his head to hurt.
% Neurons flitting about was the worst
"Could you be more specific and try to lower your voice when you
do." Jeff rubbed his forehead. He did NOT need loud noises of any kind
this morning.
"Mad Dog and that woman," Dutch groused. "Every night. In the
bedroom next to mine. I need my sleep, Jeffrey."
% Jeff: Why don’t you ask to join them?
for his attention. Picking up the empty bar glass from his desk,
he held it up and smiled. They were still a squadron.
% Nice chapter that had some action in it as well as good emotion. Nice
to see the focus on Jeff and Kate, and moving the plot along. Nice to
see you’re still working on this.
DB Sommer
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