Alan
30th July 2004, 11:00 PM
The Griffin and the Fox
Chapter 3
Mahou Shoujo and Shinobi, or, The Great Diagon Alley Chase
“Man,” Naruto muttered, looking at the prices of things in the store and wincing as he figured the conversion rates that ero-sennin had told him. “All this stuff is expensive.”
“Two butterbeers, please.” A voice said next to him, paused a moment, then spoke again. “Butterbeer is fine, yes?”
Realising he was being spoken to, Naruto jumped, turning to face a brown-haired female. “Um...yes...that’s fine.”
“Was that girl your sister?” Hermione Granger asked directly, taking the butterbeers with a nod and handing one to Naruto, then paying.
“Girl?” Naruto asked blankly, staring intently at his drink. “There was a girl?”
Her expression turned piercing. “I saw a girl earlier, who was running around nude. She had facial markings like yours. Was she your sister?”
“Um. Well. Sort of.” Naruto muttered, clearly uncomfortable.
“What do you mean, sort of? She either is or isn’t.” Hermione retorted. “Well, if you see her, I would like my cloak back, if she pleases. I know it might be asking a lot, but it is really is rather improper to go traipsing around here with naught but that to cover yourself.”
“She’s...kind of odd.” Naruto said slowly. “Likes making a scene.”
Hermione’s regard did not lessen, causing Naruto to begin to sweat. “She certainly managed that. I heard that the aurors are out in force, looking for the vulgar female who caused such a fuss. You should tell her to be careful. Now isn’t the best time to be making such displays.”
Shrugging, Naruto tipped his butterbeer back. “She can handle herself.”
"Well, whether she can take care of herself or not, running around nude in Knockturn Alley is never a good idea." Hermione replied severely.
“I’ll be sure to let her know.” Naruto said, glaring at his drink once more. “And what’s Knockturn Alley?”
“I got lost. And what’s Knockturn Alley?” Hermione’s eyes narrowed as the words flitted through her mind and she opened her mouth, then closed it, frowning. “A very bad place.”
“Oh.” Shrugging, Naruto turned to the counter. “Could I get a refill please?”
“Well, well.” A cold voice said. “If it isn’t Potter’s...friend.”
Naruto closed his eyes, feeling Hermione stiffen beside him, then speak. “Mr. Malfoy.”
“Infecting our fine establishments with your filth, I see.” Lucius Malfoy said, his voice pitched so only she could hear it.
“Shut up.” Naruto ground out, turning around at last, angry as Hermione had said nothing in reply.
Lucius Malfoy’s eyes flicked to Naruto, caught and held there as his gaze seemed intent on memorising every detail. “And you have a...friend...” Naruto glared. The man’s expression was wary when he looked at him, but whenever he turned to Hermione, it was cold and disdainful, as if she were something less than human. He knew that expression well and had never cared for it, from anyone. “Leave.”
“Don’t presume that coming from a Hidden Village gives you the right to order me around, shinobi.” Lucius sneered. “You would do well to learn your place when faced with your betters.”
“Funny thing.” The young ninja said. “I don’t see any here.”
Lucius’ face darkened, his grip on his cane tightening. “You arrogant....”
“Bored.” Naruto said, vanishing from where he stood. Lucius reacted, lightning quick, the head of his cane coming loose as he brought it around. Light flashed and there was a startled yell as the orange clad shinobi was flung across the room., crashing into a display case that toppled over on him with a loud crash.
“Excellently done, Father.” Draco said, admiringly.
“Be silent, Draco.” Lucius snapped, his expression furious as he stared at the pile of rubble. In the background, someone was yelling, but few paid it any mind.
“That hurt, old man.” Naruto’s voice came from the rubble as he pushed his way to his feet. His clothes were dusty, and dirt was smeared on his face, but he was otherwise unharmed.
Lucius’ eyes widened, then he snarled. “What are you...?”
“You said it yourself, stupid.” The young man replied. “Shinobi.”
The room went dead quiet, and several people quickly made their way to the door, as fast as they could. Naruto paid them no mind.
“You disrepectful little...” Lucius began.
“You’re the one who is disrepectful.” Naruto snapped. “Apologise to her. Now.”
“Or what?” Lucius sneered.
“How about I start with this?” the young ninja asked as he appeared in front of Lucius, too fast for the older man to react to this time and his fist slammed into Malfoy’s jaw.
“Father!” Draco cried out, his own wand coming out and just as quickly flying from his hand into Hermione’s. “Give that back!”
“Oh do shut up, Malfoy.” Hermione snorted. “Unless you’d rather see what it’s like to be a ferret again?”
“You’ll pay for this, mudblood.” Draco growled.
“I’m sure.” She replied. “Now shut up.”
“That all you got, old man?” Naruto mocked, bouncing around the room as Lucius threw spell after spell at him, getting increasingly angrier.
He uses that stick to attack...so... Dodging several more curses, Naruto tossed a kunai out, knocking the wand from Lucius’ grip, then landed, skidding to a halt.
“Now I’ll put an end to this!” he cried, holding out his left hand and concentrating as he charged forward. His right hand moving rapidly as he focused the chakra into a tight, rotating sphere.
Lucius put out his hand, the wand flying back to it and he brought it around, preparing another attack.
“What the bloody hell is going on here?” A harsh voice demanded, as a barrier sprang up between Naruto and Lucius. The orange clad shinobi checked his rush, keeping the rasengan ready as Lucius’ spell bounced, narrowly missing its caster’s head.
Calming himself, Lucius’ gaze turned frosty as he regarded the man standing there. “Moody.”
“Lucius Malfoy.” Mad-Eye Moody sneered. “I might have known.” The scarred man stepped further into the shop, his gaze sweeping across all four who stood there, nodding almost approvingly at the sight of Draco at wand point, then his magical eye stopped dead as he regarded Naruto intently.
“Take your miserable little toad spawn and get out of here, Malfoy. I’ll speak with you later about this, I assure you.” He growled, not taking his eyes off Naruto. “For now, I will speak with this boy. And you too, Granger.”
Hermione couldn’t keep the trepidation off her face as she reluctantly threw Draco’s wand toward him, being sure it landed on the ground some distance away. The younger Malfoy bent to reclaim it, and threw a vicious look at Hermione.
“Don’t even think about it, ferret-boy.” Moody said without turning around. “What that imposter did will seem like nothing compared to what I do.”
“Come, Draco.” Lucius said, a sneer crossing his face. Though, the presence of the large bruise on his jaw lessened the impact. “There will be another day.”
“You keep thinking that, Malfoy.” Moody snorted, again not taking his eyes off of Naruto. “Come along, Granger. Boy.”
Watching the Malfoys leave, Naruto slowly released the rasengan, though he remained wary, then followed after the girl and the scar faced man. Stupid ero-sennin will never let me live this down if he finds out...
Moody led them back through the shop to its storeroom, where he instructed them to sit with a simple pointing of his wand at some boxes. Immediately, both his eyes fixed on Naruto. ”Mind explaining why you’ve got that...thing sealed in your stomach?”
Hermione frowned, unable to follow what Moody had said as he was apparently speaking in a language she was unfamiliar with. Her eyes flicked to Naruto as he gaped, then replied in the same language.
”How did you know? Is it that weird eye?”
”Got it in one.” Moody replied. “I’m not sure what that is you have there, but it’s not anything that you chose to have shoved inside, I’m guessing. There was a time when I believed there wasn’t anyone twisted enough to do something like that to a child, but I know better now.”
”He had no choice.” the young man said quietly, his temper not exploding, to his surprise. ”The village would have been destroyed...”
”And you’re fine with having something that nasty locked up in your body?”
He shrugged. ”I didn’t get much of a choice in the matter. I deal with it.”
Moody’s eyebrow raised as he regarded Naruto. “I’m going to let you go. I don’t think it’s a good idea, because you’re incredibly dangerous, but the morons in charge are...Well, that’s not your concern.”
“You couldn’t keep me even if you wanted to.” Naruto snapped, his expression darkening.
The eye stopped dead, narrowing. “Don’t assume that making a fool out of Lucius Malfoy means you’ll do the same to me. He’s an arrogant bastard in dreadful need of a thrashing. I am not.”
“Whatever.” Naruto snorted, glaring at the older man.
Moody stared back. “Granger!”
Hermione jumped. “Yes, Professor?”
“I’m not your professor, Granger. Never was, really. But that’s not important. Keep an eye on your friend here.” He peered at her suspiciously. “Assuming that you are Granger and not someone disguising themselves as her.”
“I’m me, sir.” Hermione said firmly.
“And Malfoy’s a ferret.” Moody retorted. “Run along now. I’ll be watching you, boy.”
“Like to watch, do you?” Naruto said, a mocking expression on his face. “You’d get along well with ero-sennin, I bet.”
“Come on!” Hermione hissed, grabbing Naruto’s hand and dragging him out of the storeroom.
“Hey!” Naruto protested. “Not so hard. I was just telling the stupid old man..”
“He’ll hear you.” She said, not letting up until they were near the exit.
“So? I’m not scared of him or his crazy eye.” Naruto told her. “Probably just a pervert like ero-sennin, anyway.”
Hermione blinked. “Are you quite sane? You just called one of the most paranoid aurors a pervert.”
“All adults are perverts.” Naruto said, shrugging. “Haven’t met one yet who isn’t. Ero-sennin, Kakashi, old man Hokage... The closet pervert too.”
She placed her hands on either side of her forehead, massaging her temples slowly. “Every adult you’ve met is a pervert, is that what you’re saying?”
Pushing the door open, Naruto nodded. “Haven’t seen one yet who wasn’t.”
Hermione Granger sighed. “Well. I’m going to go find my friends. Do tell your sister or whatever to be careful where she chooses to run around nude.”
Perversely, the young man grinned wickedly at her, looking like he was trying to keep from laughing hysterically. “I’ll be sure to tell her that when I see her.” He sauntered off into the crowd with a wave, vanishing from sight despite his clothes being a bright splash amongst all the dark robes.
Hermione stood there for a moment, then swore under her breath in a very unladylike fashion. “I wanted to ask him about the Shinobi...”
“You’d be better off not involving yourself with their sort.” Moody growled from behind her.
“Why?” Hermione countered, not startled by his appearance. “He seems nice enough.”
“Ministry doesn’t like them.” He muttered. “Thinks they’re dark wizards and a threat to society because of the fact that they use their talents as their source of income.”
“Mercenaries?” she asked.
He gave her a surprised look. “Of a sort. Damned handy to have one at your back in a fight, though.”
“What do you think of them?” Hermione asked.
Moody gave her a curious look. “Decent enough folk, for the most part. Bad seeds abound, just like with anywhere. They’ve got a few characters that make Voldemort look like a schoolyard bully. They’re all dangerous though. That boy there, in particular.”
“And why,” Hermione began, bold. “do you think that?”
His face blanked immediately. “Hang around him long enough and you’ll find out, I assure you. Good day, Granger.”
“Good day, Professor.” She said quietly as he donned his hat and slipped past her, trying not to complain over how little he’d actually told her.
“Hermione!”
Turning, she saw Ron approaching, dragging a boy about his age along with him. The young man wore what resembled a flak vest, a mesh shirt underneath, and wore a headband like she’d seen on the other boy, except it was tied around one of his arms. He also looked very bored.
“This is Shikamaru,” Ron said, coming to a halt. “He’s one of the transfer students coming to Hogwarts this year. I just watched him thrash that git Percy at chess. I’ve never seen anything like it!”
“Another one...” Hermione mused, not really listening to Ron’s muttering.
Shikamaru’s eyes flickered, interest flaring briefly. “You’ve seen someone else wearing one of these?”
Nodding, Hermione glanced back at the crowd behind her. “He went that way just a few minutes ago. I didn’t catch his name, though. Wore orange, though.”
“Let me guess.” He asked, glancing at the store’s wrecked interior. “He did that?”
She nodded and he sighed heavily. “How troublesome. I have to go tell our sensei about this. Nice meeting you all.” He slipped past Hermione, muttering to himself.
“What’s his name?” she called out, growling under her breath. Shikamaru merely waved one hand in farewell, vanishing into the crowd just as quickly as the other boy had.
“This is quite annoying.” Hermione said under her breath, forcing away her frown to smile at Ron. “Where’d you meet him?”
“At the Cauldron.” Ron said, grinning. “It was great. Went in for a moment and saw him trouncing Percy. Third time in a row.”
“That’s great, Ron. Really.” She said, forcing a smile before glancing back in the direction both Shikamaru and the boy whose name she had yet to catch had gone. “Listen. Tell Harry I’ll meet him at the Cauldron in a bit. I want to go get something.”
“I’ll come with you!” Ron announced.
“What? No!” she protested, then amended hastily. “I mean, you probably want to challenge Shikamaru to chess, don’t you?” Please say yes, please say yes.
He looked at her with a frown. “You’re going to do something dangerous, aren’t you? And you don’t want me around to get hurt.”
“You just had to pick now to be perceptive, didn’t you?” she muttered under her breath, then forced another smile. “No, Ron. I’m not going to do anything that might get you hurt. But there will be dark wizards about and the last thing your dad needs right now is for you to be seen in Knockturn Alley.”
He choked. “You’re going to Knockturn Alley? Why?”
“I have to see about a book.” She turned and walked off. “Go find Harry, Ron. It’ll be fine.”
Ron Weasley stood there for a moment, then made a decision and started into the crowd after Hermione.
-
“Damn, this place is a lot bigger than I thought.” Naruto muttered, glowering at the run-down buildings around him. “How the hell did I end up here again?”
“You! Lawbreaker!” someone shouted. Naruto turned his head, slightly bored, to see a rather prissy looking male approach, with four official looking men behind him. “You are under arrest for assaulting Ministry Officials. You will come with us immediately and await sentencing...Hey!”
Naruto stopped, having kept on walking as soon as the lead male had started speaking. “Eh? You want something?” He decided he didn’t like that guy’s expression. It reminded him of Sasuke. Stuck-up. Sure of his own superiority.
“Didn’t you hear anything I said?” the red-headed male asked. “I said you are under arrest for assaulting Ministry officials.”
“Don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” Naruto said, starting forward again.
“Come quietly or we’ll take you by force!” the red-head shouted, a tinge of desperation in his voice as he sensed the men behind him trying not to laugh at the disrespect he was being shown.
Naruto stopped again, dropping his arms from where he’d been holding them behind his head, then shook his head and started walking again. “Like I care.”
“Stop now!” the other shouted. “Or else!”
“You know something?” Naruto snarled, turning around. “You are really beginning to piss me off, stupid.” He started walking toward the other. “I don’t care about who I assaulted. I don’t care what you think you’re going to do to me for it and I especially don’t care about you or anything you have to say. So why don’t you just turn around and go back to kissing more ass and leave me alone. Before you get hurt.”
The red head adjusted his robes, trying his best to look commanding. “I’m a Ministry Official, you wouldn’t dare lay hands on me.”
“I know I’m not very bright.” Naruto replied. “But since you’re accusing me of assaulting a ministry official, whatever that is, why would I stop with you, if that was true?”
Looking puzzled for a moment, the red head opened his mouth to speak. “You’re just trying to confuse me. Now, are you going to come quietly? Or do we have to use force?”
“I’m not going anywhere with you, stupid.” Naruto repeated. “Haven’t you been listening?”
“I, Percival Weasley, do hereby place you under arrest.” He said, producing a scroll. “You are hereby charged with assault on a Ministry Official, threatening the proper authorities, as well as destruction of both private and public property. You will be held until trial and if you resist, it will only go worse for you... HEY!”
Naruto stopped once more. “You’re too much of a wimp to beat up, so I’m just going to leave before I hurt you. Have fun playing with yourself, okay?”
“You disrepectful little...” Percy snarled, his face turning red. He shoved his hand into his robes, his hand coming out holding nothing. He blinked.
“Funny thing I’ve noticed about you guys.” Naruto said casually, twirling the wand in his hand. “Without these little sticks, you aren’t all that impressive or threatening. In fact, I’d wager you can’t do anything without one. Pretty pathetic, really.”
“Give that back!” Percy snapped, lunging at Naruto. The young shinobi smirked, calmly stepping to the side and sticking his foot out. Percy landed face first in the same moment the four aurors began laughing openly at his ineptitude.
Glancing toward the other four, Naruto frowned. “Can you guys wait until I’m done with this jackass before you try to arrest me?”
They glanced at each other, talking quietly, then the tallest one nodded. “Sure, kid. No hard feelings about that, though? Just our job.”
“Whatever.” Naruto shrugged, glancing at Percy, who was struggling to rise.
“Give me back my wand, you miscreant!” Percy snapped, his arms flailing as he found his feet.
“You really want your wand back?” he asked, still twirling it.
“Yes, damn you!” Percy shouted, making another lunge for it.
“If you insist.” Sidestepping the attempt once more, Naruto positioned himself behind the unbalanced Percy.
“Konoha secret taijutsu technique....Sennen goroshi!”
The scream that issued forth from the Weasley sibling’s throat echoed all the way up to Diagon Alley.
“Ok, now that that’s done...” Naruto said, turning to face the remaining four. He barely had time to move as a dark green mass was flung straight at him, travelling at high speed. It struck Naruto and unravelled, the coils of the plant tangling around his limbs. He stood there for a moment, struggling with it, then smoke billowed up, revealing a log entangled in the coils of whatever they had thrown at him.
“How...” one of them said, eyes widening. “Where is he?”
“Catch ya later, stupid!” Naruto shouted, already on the steps leading back to Diagon Alley.
“Accio brooms!” he heard behind him, daring a glance over his shoulder to see the four men, now on broomsticks, heading straight for him.
“Shit!” he swore. “No one told me they could do that.” He glanced up ahead, spotting a familiar face. Smirking slightly, he crossed his fingers in a seal, one that he needed no prepartion for. “Kage bunshin no jutsu!”
Smoke billowed up, and the stairway exiting Knockturn Alley was crowded with countless copies of himself. “Scatter!”
Naruto himself rushed forward, skidding to a stop in front of the girl. “I think they’re upset with me from earlier.”
“Stop those two!” one of the aurors shouted, struggling past the group of Naruto that were blocking the alleyway and the men.
Naruto flashed her a grin. “Looks like you’re on their list now too.”
“Do you always have to make such a scene wherever you go?” she asked, her lips pursed in disapproval.
“It sort of finds me, you know?” he replied, glancing back as the men began to disperse the bunshin. “Time to go, it seems.” Without waiting for her response, he grabbed her wrist and flung his free hand toward the ground. Smoke billowed up, and then cleared, leaving behind the echo of her startled protests. The four men soared out on broomstick, looking around angrily at the sight of all the copies of Naruto that were bouncing off in every direction. After a moment, they cursed, and split up, chasing after the duplicates.
After a moment, one red-headed male stepped out from where he had been hiding and looked around as one of the clones brushed past him, laughing, an auror in close pursuit.
“What the bloody hell just happened here?” Ron Weasley said of no one in particular, then shook his head. “I’d better find Harry. Hermione could be in trouble.”
-
At that same moment, the exact person that Ron was worried about was, despite his fears, not in trouble. She was seriously annoyed as she was pulled along behind the young man, until they ducked down on a rooftop, hidden amidst some crates stacked there.
“We’ll wait here for a moment, then head across and out.” He said quietly, his eyes scanning the visible area.
“Do you know how much trouble you’re probably in now?” Hermione asked, crouching down behind him and mentally lamenting the fact that the skirt she was wearing wasn’t the best choice of clothing to be running from Ministry authorities in. Why was she running from Ministry authorities? Oh. Because this idiot had dragged her off in sight of everyone when those four aurors had come flying up out of Knockturn Alley. She really needed to lecture him on priorities and proper behavior. First, however. “What’s your name?”
“What’s yours?” he retorted, not looking back at her.
“It is rather rude to answer a question with a question, you know.” Hermione said with a sigh.
“Name’s Naruto.” He said, turning his head to regard her for a brief second, grinning. “Yours?”
“Hermione. Hermione Granger.” She answered, looking over his shoulder. Is it safe yet?”
“One second.” Naruto murmured, closing his eyes for a moment. The sounds of multiple popping noises went up below and off in the distance, followed by shouts of consternation. “We go now.”
“I don’t really think this is a good idea...” Hermione began.
“No time to talk it over.” He caught her wrist. “If you think it’ll help, act like you’re being taken unwillingly. You’ll look like less of an accomplice then.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, but received no verbal answer. Instead, he abruptly pulled her close, then slung her over his right shoulder and took a step toward the rooftop edge.
“Naruto! Put me down this instant!” she demanded, the words followed closely by a squeal as he dove off the roof with her in tow. He hit the ground on his feet, flashed a grin at those who stood, gaping, then darted off, skillfully navigating his way through the crowd.
“Clear a path! Official Ministry business! MOVE!” voices shouted behind him, followed by the sound of brooms rising into the air to avoid the press of the crowd. “There! Get them!”
“Like hell you will.” Naruto muttered, calling forth a dozen clones of himself. All appeared to be carrying Hermione. As one, they all shouted. “Come and get us, losers!” They promptly scattered once more, laughing mockingly as they went in every direction, several jumping up and harassing the men on brooms.
“Naruto!” Hermione shouted, beating her fists against his back. “Put me down!”
“Would you be quiet back there?” he snapped. “You’ll give us away!” He ignored her further protests, ducking into an alley and ascending the boxes stacked there, using them as a jumping point onto a nearby roof. “The Leaky Cauldron place was that way...”
“You’re going to take us through the Cauldron? You’re mad!” Hermione protested, still trying to get him to put her down.
“No.” Naruto replied. “They’ll have people there. We’re going over it.”
“You can’t do that!” she shouted.
“Why not?”
“Because, there are spells to keep anyone from coming in over the rooftops.” Hermione snapped, trying not to punch him in the back again. “Don’t you know that?”
“.....” Naruto stopped, then shrugged. “We’re not coming in, so it’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think...” Hermione began.
“You think too much.” Naruto retorted. “We’ll be fine.”
“Naruto!” she shouted as the genin started moving again. “Put me down this instant!”
He skidded to a stop. “You’re really pushy, you know that?”
“Put me down!” she repeated.
“Fine.” Without a word, he set her on her feet. Hermione glared at him and adjusted her clothing. I bet the way he was carting me around had my undergarments showing to everyone. Not to mention all those illusions he produced. The last thing I need is to have the Prophet or Witch Weekly running off some slanderous article about Harry using the color of my underwear as cannon fire. Knowing them, they’d do it. “Now, we’re going to go back down to the street and find my friends.”
“You’re also really thick.” He said.
“What?” Hermione’s eyes widened.
“That guy from earlier obviously was too cowardly to deal with me face to face, so he’s sent his flunkies after us. It’s not that hard to understand!” Naruto told her.
“Why am I even talking to you?” Hermione said to the air, throwing her hands up. “You’re even worse than Harry and Ron. Do you really think you can just attack Lucius Malfoy like that? Don’t you know how dangerous he is?”
“Um. Is he that guy from earlier?” Naruto blinked.
“Lucius Malfoy is a supporter of You-Know-Who!”
“No, I don’t know who.” He said, crossing his arms behind his head. “Never met him.”
“Have you been living in a cave?” Hermione asked skeptically.
“Nope!” Naruto told her. “Hidden Village.”
“Malfoy mentioned that...” something in her eyes flickered. “You’re a shinobi!”
Naruto looked at her, his eyes narrowed. “You say that like you’ve never seen one before.”
“I haven’t.” she admitted. “You’re the second and the one with Ron...Shikamaru, was the fourth. But before today, never.”
He frowned. “Who was the first and the third?”
“And you call me thick?” she replied. “The first was that girl from earlier. The second was, I think, that strange old man who was with Snuffles.”
“Aaaaah!” Naruto pointed. “You saw ero-sennin!”
“Ero...sennin?” Hermione frowned, her mind working to comprehend the unfamiliar term.
“It means perverted hermit.” Naruto answered after a moment of watching her frown. “S’what I call my sensei.”
“You are astonishingly disrepectful. Not at all like what the books told me about shinobi.” She said, shaking her head.
“I’m Konoha’s number one ninja, Uzumaki Naruto!” he proclaimed. “Future Hokage and the greatest genin ever!”
“...Right.” Hermione rubbed the space between her eyes. This boy’s going to be even more trouble than he’s already caused, I just know it. “Why are you here in London?”
“Oh, that?” Naruto shrugged. “Ero-sennin decided we needed some special training or something. Going to some place...Mogmarts, Bogtarts...”
“Hogwarts.” Hermione said, restraining an urge to twitch. “The name is Hogwarts.”
“Eh, whatever.” Naruto replied. “Anyway. That’s where we’re going. Ero-sennin didn’t tell us much about how we were getting here from there. “
“Well, there’s the Hogwarts Express...” Hermione began.
“Great!” Naruto grinned, grabbing her hand. “You show me the way and we’ll get there in no time flat!”
“What?” Hermione blinked. Was this boy always this hyperactive? “My friends will be looking for me...”
“They go to school with you?”
“Yes...”
“Then they’ll be on this Mogmart Express thing too.”
“Possibly.” She allowed. “But if they can’t find me, there’s no telling what they will do or where they will go.”
“You think they’ll check the places you would go to, first, right?” Naruto asked. “We’ll run across them there, I’m sure. I promise I’ll get you to your friends there.”
For a moment, Hermione wanted to believe him. “How do I know you can carry out that promise?”
“I never go back on my words.” He said, a glint of steel in his eyes. “That’s my nindo!”
Another word I don’t know... “What’s that mean?”
“Ninja way.” He said. “Now. We gotta go before they realise all those down there are just bunshin.” He held out his hand.
Can I trust him? Should I trust him? Hermione stared at his hand. “You promise?”
Naruto nodded.
“Let’s go then.” She put her hand down over his.
“Found you!” a voice shouted, as both turned, eyes widening at the beams of red light soaring straight for them.
“Down!” Naruto snapped, shoving Hermione out of the way with his own body as several bunshin appeared, intercepting the beams. Smoke billowed up as the clones exploded. Not wasting time, Naruto grabbed Hermione’s hand.
“Show me the way, alright?” he asked, pulling her along and using the smoke as cover to dive off the roof top again. “Looks like we are going through the bar.”
“But you said...” she began.
“They won’t expect us to come through there, even with people guarding the place. Plus...we can disguise ourselves.”
“I need to get into my room in the Cauldron.” Hermione said. “I’ve got stuff there I want to get.”
He frowned as they made a turn down an alleyway at her instruction. “That could be tough.”
“But not impossible?”
“Nothing’s impossible.” Naruto proclaimed. “I have an idea, but I’ve only done it once, so I dunno if it will work out.”
Hermione looked at him suspiciously. “What’s your idea.”
“Well, it’s like this...” he began, then continued his explanation.
She listened patiently, then crossed her arms below her breasts. “There’s no way I’m going to let you do that.”
Naruto rolled his eyes. “We have two options. The roofs or the exit by that bar. They can fly with those brooms, so getting on the roofs gives them the advantage since I have to keep an eye on you. Down on the ground, we have the advantage, because they can’t use their flying stunts as well as they could.” He cocked his head to the side, as if listening, then his face settled into an expression of determination. “Get down.”
“What?” she blinked.
“I said get down!” he told her, shoving her back toward the wall as the four aurors came flying down over a nearby roof, spotting them immediately.
“I’ve had enough of you guys.” Naruto muttered, crossing his fingers. “Kage bunshin no jutsu!”
The alleyway filled with smoke, quickly dispering to reveal a number of the Naruto clones rushing toward the men on brooms. The aurors wielded their spells, popping them quickly, but soon found themselves overwhelmed and ejected from their brooms. They cursed, snapping off spells like mad until the clones were dispersed.
“Nowhere to run now, children.” The leader said, sneering as he pointed his wand. “Stupefy!”
“Kaiten!” came the whispered words as a dark haired figure shot into place between the two groups. Blue light flared up, forming a perfect sphere. The stunning spell stopped, then was flung back at the men, who hastily jumped aside.
“Oi, Naruto.” A voice that Hermione recognised called out. “Can’t you go anywhere without getting into trouble?” Both looked up to see Shikamaru standing on the side of the building, the faint glow of chakra securing him there.
“You are all under arrest for interfering with Ministry business!” the leader shouted, his eyes slightly panicked, but his voice was still firm. “Surrender now and your punishment will be less severe than the one those two are getting.”
“Man...how troublesome.” Shikamaru muttered. “Shino?”
“Enough of your prattle!” the leader yelled, raising his wand. “St-“ His words died as he stared at the shavings of wood that were dropping from it.
“I believe they are called termites here.” The quiet voice of the Aburame clan member echoed forth as he, too, appeared in the on the wall opposite Shikamaru. “You won’t be using those again.”
The aurors exchanged glances, each confirming the state of their wands. Then the leader sneered. “You criminals won’t be able to get away with this.
“Insolence!” a voice declared. “To address a visiting party from another nation as criminals after you are behaving so shamefully toward them! I will not stand for this!”
Naruto blinked, looking past Neji and the aurors to see the new arrivals, his eyes widening. “Aaaah! It’s the closet-pervert!”
Ebisu’s face darkened. “I am not a closet pervert!” He turned red at the sound of Anko snickering beside him. Genma smiled faintly. The remaining genin, Chouji and Hinata, stood on either side of the three jounin. Chouji held a bag of food, and was opening a chocolate frog pack. Without blinking, he caught it when it jumped, then bit its head off. Hinata merely looked worried, her eyes wide as she stared at Naruto and the girl he stood protectively in front of.
“Do you call every adult you meet a pervert?” Hermione demanded, rolling her eyes.
“Every adult I meet IS a pervert.” Naruto countered.
“Enough!” the auror roared, openly panicked now that they were surrounded. “You will all surrender now or Ministry reprisal will be swift and terrible.”
Ebisu’s face returned to normal and a truly nasty smile appeared on his face. “I think not. In fact, you will go about your business right now. For you see, we are, as I said, visitors from another nation. Our arrival was cleared and due to our unique status, you have no authority over us.”
The group of aurors looked nervous, then one spoke. “Where are you from?”
The smile decorating Ebisu’ face got even nastier. “Konohagakure.”
All four of the ministry officers paled, then began speaking in low tones to each other.
“...Not going to provoke them any further.”
“....Damnit, don’t you have a spine?”
“I don’t care what you think he’ll do! I want my damn job and what Fudge will do if we cause an incident is more terrifying than anything that man can think up!”
“Cowards, the whole lot of you!” the leader snapped, his hand diving into his robe. “I’ll take them myself!” A wand appeared in his hand and he spun, a spell forming on his lips.
Smoke exploded everywhere, filling the alleyway in seconds. “Be amazed! Mt. Myobokugama's Holy Master Sennin has arrived!” There was a crash, a muffled groan, then the smoke cleared, revealing Jiraiya, resting seiza atop a large toad that had crashed down on the auror. “The white haired sage who is the master of toads...is here!” He rose from his seated position, extending one arm, palm out.
“Idiot!” Naruto shouted. “You always show up and try to make an entrance!”
“They would work fine if you weren’t calling me stupid!” Jiraiya retorted. The two dissolved into arguing and Hermione hung back, frowning. These people are Shinobi? They’re nothing like those books.
The two argued for a moment, then Jiraiya turned his attention toward Hermione. “Oh, it’s you. How’s that dog of yours?”
“His owner is taking care of him.” Hermione replied, frowning. “Why are you all here in London?”
Jiraiya smirked. “Well, that’s the real question, isn’t it?” The toad beneath him vanished and he landed easily on his feet, his wooden sandals cracking down on the spine of the fallen auror. “First, let us relocate to another place and we’ll see if we can answer those questions for you.” He motioned for her to follow, and they calmly walked out of the alley, leaving the remaining aurors standing around their unconscious leader.
-Once more, sharing for the list
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Chapter 3
Mahou Shoujo and Shinobi, or, The Great Diagon Alley Chase
“Man,” Naruto muttered, looking at the prices of things in the store and wincing as he figured the conversion rates that ero-sennin had told him. “All this stuff is expensive.”
“Two butterbeers, please.” A voice said next to him, paused a moment, then spoke again. “Butterbeer is fine, yes?”
Realising he was being spoken to, Naruto jumped, turning to face a brown-haired female. “Um...yes...that’s fine.”
“Was that girl your sister?” Hermione Granger asked directly, taking the butterbeers with a nod and handing one to Naruto, then paying.
“Girl?” Naruto asked blankly, staring intently at his drink. “There was a girl?”
Her expression turned piercing. “I saw a girl earlier, who was running around nude. She had facial markings like yours. Was she your sister?”
“Um. Well. Sort of.” Naruto muttered, clearly uncomfortable.
“What do you mean, sort of? She either is or isn’t.” Hermione retorted. “Well, if you see her, I would like my cloak back, if she pleases. I know it might be asking a lot, but it is really is rather improper to go traipsing around here with naught but that to cover yourself.”
“She’s...kind of odd.” Naruto said slowly. “Likes making a scene.”
Hermione’s regard did not lessen, causing Naruto to begin to sweat. “She certainly managed that. I heard that the aurors are out in force, looking for the vulgar female who caused such a fuss. You should tell her to be careful. Now isn’t the best time to be making such displays.”
Shrugging, Naruto tipped his butterbeer back. “She can handle herself.”
"Well, whether she can take care of herself or not, running around nude in Knockturn Alley is never a good idea." Hermione replied severely.
“I’ll be sure to let her know.” Naruto said, glaring at his drink once more. “And what’s Knockturn Alley?”
“I got lost. And what’s Knockturn Alley?” Hermione’s eyes narrowed as the words flitted through her mind and she opened her mouth, then closed it, frowning. “A very bad place.”
“Oh.” Shrugging, Naruto turned to the counter. “Could I get a refill please?”
“Well, well.” A cold voice said. “If it isn’t Potter’s...friend.”
Naruto closed his eyes, feeling Hermione stiffen beside him, then speak. “Mr. Malfoy.”
“Infecting our fine establishments with your filth, I see.” Lucius Malfoy said, his voice pitched so only she could hear it.
“Shut up.” Naruto ground out, turning around at last, angry as Hermione had said nothing in reply.
Lucius Malfoy’s eyes flicked to Naruto, caught and held there as his gaze seemed intent on memorising every detail. “And you have a...friend...” Naruto glared. The man’s expression was wary when he looked at him, but whenever he turned to Hermione, it was cold and disdainful, as if she were something less than human. He knew that expression well and had never cared for it, from anyone. “Leave.”
“Don’t presume that coming from a Hidden Village gives you the right to order me around, shinobi.” Lucius sneered. “You would do well to learn your place when faced with your betters.”
“Funny thing.” The young ninja said. “I don’t see any here.”
Lucius’ face darkened, his grip on his cane tightening. “You arrogant....”
“Bored.” Naruto said, vanishing from where he stood. Lucius reacted, lightning quick, the head of his cane coming loose as he brought it around. Light flashed and there was a startled yell as the orange clad shinobi was flung across the room., crashing into a display case that toppled over on him with a loud crash.
“Excellently done, Father.” Draco said, admiringly.
“Be silent, Draco.” Lucius snapped, his expression furious as he stared at the pile of rubble. In the background, someone was yelling, but few paid it any mind.
“That hurt, old man.” Naruto’s voice came from the rubble as he pushed his way to his feet. His clothes were dusty, and dirt was smeared on his face, but he was otherwise unharmed.
Lucius’ eyes widened, then he snarled. “What are you...?”
“You said it yourself, stupid.” The young man replied. “Shinobi.”
The room went dead quiet, and several people quickly made their way to the door, as fast as they could. Naruto paid them no mind.
“You disrepectful little...” Lucius began.
“You’re the one who is disrepectful.” Naruto snapped. “Apologise to her. Now.”
“Or what?” Lucius sneered.
“How about I start with this?” the young ninja asked as he appeared in front of Lucius, too fast for the older man to react to this time and his fist slammed into Malfoy’s jaw.
“Father!” Draco cried out, his own wand coming out and just as quickly flying from his hand into Hermione’s. “Give that back!”
“Oh do shut up, Malfoy.” Hermione snorted. “Unless you’d rather see what it’s like to be a ferret again?”
“You’ll pay for this, mudblood.” Draco growled.
“I’m sure.” She replied. “Now shut up.”
“That all you got, old man?” Naruto mocked, bouncing around the room as Lucius threw spell after spell at him, getting increasingly angrier.
He uses that stick to attack...so... Dodging several more curses, Naruto tossed a kunai out, knocking the wand from Lucius’ grip, then landed, skidding to a halt.
“Now I’ll put an end to this!” he cried, holding out his left hand and concentrating as he charged forward. His right hand moving rapidly as he focused the chakra into a tight, rotating sphere.
Lucius put out his hand, the wand flying back to it and he brought it around, preparing another attack.
“What the bloody hell is going on here?” A harsh voice demanded, as a barrier sprang up between Naruto and Lucius. The orange clad shinobi checked his rush, keeping the rasengan ready as Lucius’ spell bounced, narrowly missing its caster’s head.
Calming himself, Lucius’ gaze turned frosty as he regarded the man standing there. “Moody.”
“Lucius Malfoy.” Mad-Eye Moody sneered. “I might have known.” The scarred man stepped further into the shop, his gaze sweeping across all four who stood there, nodding almost approvingly at the sight of Draco at wand point, then his magical eye stopped dead as he regarded Naruto intently.
“Take your miserable little toad spawn and get out of here, Malfoy. I’ll speak with you later about this, I assure you.” He growled, not taking his eyes off Naruto. “For now, I will speak with this boy. And you too, Granger.”
Hermione couldn’t keep the trepidation off her face as she reluctantly threw Draco’s wand toward him, being sure it landed on the ground some distance away. The younger Malfoy bent to reclaim it, and threw a vicious look at Hermione.
“Don’t even think about it, ferret-boy.” Moody said without turning around. “What that imposter did will seem like nothing compared to what I do.”
“Come, Draco.” Lucius said, a sneer crossing his face. Though, the presence of the large bruise on his jaw lessened the impact. “There will be another day.”
“You keep thinking that, Malfoy.” Moody snorted, again not taking his eyes off of Naruto. “Come along, Granger. Boy.”
Watching the Malfoys leave, Naruto slowly released the rasengan, though he remained wary, then followed after the girl and the scar faced man. Stupid ero-sennin will never let me live this down if he finds out...
Moody led them back through the shop to its storeroom, where he instructed them to sit with a simple pointing of his wand at some boxes. Immediately, both his eyes fixed on Naruto. ”Mind explaining why you’ve got that...thing sealed in your stomach?”
Hermione frowned, unable to follow what Moody had said as he was apparently speaking in a language she was unfamiliar with. Her eyes flicked to Naruto as he gaped, then replied in the same language.
”How did you know? Is it that weird eye?”
”Got it in one.” Moody replied. “I’m not sure what that is you have there, but it’s not anything that you chose to have shoved inside, I’m guessing. There was a time when I believed there wasn’t anyone twisted enough to do something like that to a child, but I know better now.”
”He had no choice.” the young man said quietly, his temper not exploding, to his surprise. ”The village would have been destroyed...”
”And you’re fine with having something that nasty locked up in your body?”
He shrugged. ”I didn’t get much of a choice in the matter. I deal with it.”
Moody’s eyebrow raised as he regarded Naruto. “I’m going to let you go. I don’t think it’s a good idea, because you’re incredibly dangerous, but the morons in charge are...Well, that’s not your concern.”
“You couldn’t keep me even if you wanted to.” Naruto snapped, his expression darkening.
The eye stopped dead, narrowing. “Don’t assume that making a fool out of Lucius Malfoy means you’ll do the same to me. He’s an arrogant bastard in dreadful need of a thrashing. I am not.”
“Whatever.” Naruto snorted, glaring at the older man.
Moody stared back. “Granger!”
Hermione jumped. “Yes, Professor?”
“I’m not your professor, Granger. Never was, really. But that’s not important. Keep an eye on your friend here.” He peered at her suspiciously. “Assuming that you are Granger and not someone disguising themselves as her.”
“I’m me, sir.” Hermione said firmly.
“And Malfoy’s a ferret.” Moody retorted. “Run along now. I’ll be watching you, boy.”
“Like to watch, do you?” Naruto said, a mocking expression on his face. “You’d get along well with ero-sennin, I bet.”
“Come on!” Hermione hissed, grabbing Naruto’s hand and dragging him out of the storeroom.
“Hey!” Naruto protested. “Not so hard. I was just telling the stupid old man..”
“He’ll hear you.” She said, not letting up until they were near the exit.
“So? I’m not scared of him or his crazy eye.” Naruto told her. “Probably just a pervert like ero-sennin, anyway.”
Hermione blinked. “Are you quite sane? You just called one of the most paranoid aurors a pervert.”
“All adults are perverts.” Naruto said, shrugging. “Haven’t met one yet who isn’t. Ero-sennin, Kakashi, old man Hokage... The closet pervert too.”
She placed her hands on either side of her forehead, massaging her temples slowly. “Every adult you’ve met is a pervert, is that what you’re saying?”
Pushing the door open, Naruto nodded. “Haven’t seen one yet who wasn’t.”
Hermione Granger sighed. “Well. I’m going to go find my friends. Do tell your sister or whatever to be careful where she chooses to run around nude.”
Perversely, the young man grinned wickedly at her, looking like he was trying to keep from laughing hysterically. “I’ll be sure to tell her that when I see her.” He sauntered off into the crowd with a wave, vanishing from sight despite his clothes being a bright splash amongst all the dark robes.
Hermione stood there for a moment, then swore under her breath in a very unladylike fashion. “I wanted to ask him about the Shinobi...”
“You’d be better off not involving yourself with their sort.” Moody growled from behind her.
“Why?” Hermione countered, not startled by his appearance. “He seems nice enough.”
“Ministry doesn’t like them.” He muttered. “Thinks they’re dark wizards and a threat to society because of the fact that they use their talents as their source of income.”
“Mercenaries?” she asked.
He gave her a surprised look. “Of a sort. Damned handy to have one at your back in a fight, though.”
“What do you think of them?” Hermione asked.
Moody gave her a curious look. “Decent enough folk, for the most part. Bad seeds abound, just like with anywhere. They’ve got a few characters that make Voldemort look like a schoolyard bully. They’re all dangerous though. That boy there, in particular.”
“And why,” Hermione began, bold. “do you think that?”
His face blanked immediately. “Hang around him long enough and you’ll find out, I assure you. Good day, Granger.”
“Good day, Professor.” She said quietly as he donned his hat and slipped past her, trying not to complain over how little he’d actually told her.
“Hermione!”
Turning, she saw Ron approaching, dragging a boy about his age along with him. The young man wore what resembled a flak vest, a mesh shirt underneath, and wore a headband like she’d seen on the other boy, except it was tied around one of his arms. He also looked very bored.
“This is Shikamaru,” Ron said, coming to a halt. “He’s one of the transfer students coming to Hogwarts this year. I just watched him thrash that git Percy at chess. I’ve never seen anything like it!”
“Another one...” Hermione mused, not really listening to Ron’s muttering.
Shikamaru’s eyes flickered, interest flaring briefly. “You’ve seen someone else wearing one of these?”
Nodding, Hermione glanced back at the crowd behind her. “He went that way just a few minutes ago. I didn’t catch his name, though. Wore orange, though.”
“Let me guess.” He asked, glancing at the store’s wrecked interior. “He did that?”
She nodded and he sighed heavily. “How troublesome. I have to go tell our sensei about this. Nice meeting you all.” He slipped past Hermione, muttering to himself.
“What’s his name?” she called out, growling under her breath. Shikamaru merely waved one hand in farewell, vanishing into the crowd just as quickly as the other boy had.
“This is quite annoying.” Hermione said under her breath, forcing away her frown to smile at Ron. “Where’d you meet him?”
“At the Cauldron.” Ron said, grinning. “It was great. Went in for a moment and saw him trouncing Percy. Third time in a row.”
“That’s great, Ron. Really.” She said, forcing a smile before glancing back in the direction both Shikamaru and the boy whose name she had yet to catch had gone. “Listen. Tell Harry I’ll meet him at the Cauldron in a bit. I want to go get something.”
“I’ll come with you!” Ron announced.
“What? No!” she protested, then amended hastily. “I mean, you probably want to challenge Shikamaru to chess, don’t you?” Please say yes, please say yes.
He looked at her with a frown. “You’re going to do something dangerous, aren’t you? And you don’t want me around to get hurt.”
“You just had to pick now to be perceptive, didn’t you?” she muttered under her breath, then forced another smile. “No, Ron. I’m not going to do anything that might get you hurt. But there will be dark wizards about and the last thing your dad needs right now is for you to be seen in Knockturn Alley.”
He choked. “You’re going to Knockturn Alley? Why?”
“I have to see about a book.” She turned and walked off. “Go find Harry, Ron. It’ll be fine.”
Ron Weasley stood there for a moment, then made a decision and started into the crowd after Hermione.
-
“Damn, this place is a lot bigger than I thought.” Naruto muttered, glowering at the run-down buildings around him. “How the hell did I end up here again?”
“You! Lawbreaker!” someone shouted. Naruto turned his head, slightly bored, to see a rather prissy looking male approach, with four official looking men behind him. “You are under arrest for assaulting Ministry Officials. You will come with us immediately and await sentencing...Hey!”
Naruto stopped, having kept on walking as soon as the lead male had started speaking. “Eh? You want something?” He decided he didn’t like that guy’s expression. It reminded him of Sasuke. Stuck-up. Sure of his own superiority.
“Didn’t you hear anything I said?” the red-headed male asked. “I said you are under arrest for assaulting Ministry officials.”
“Don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.” Naruto said, starting forward again.
“Come quietly or we’ll take you by force!” the red-head shouted, a tinge of desperation in his voice as he sensed the men behind him trying not to laugh at the disrespect he was being shown.
Naruto stopped again, dropping his arms from where he’d been holding them behind his head, then shook his head and started walking again. “Like I care.”
“Stop now!” the other shouted. “Or else!”
“You know something?” Naruto snarled, turning around. “You are really beginning to piss me off, stupid.” He started walking toward the other. “I don’t care about who I assaulted. I don’t care what you think you’re going to do to me for it and I especially don’t care about you or anything you have to say. So why don’t you just turn around and go back to kissing more ass and leave me alone. Before you get hurt.”
The red head adjusted his robes, trying his best to look commanding. “I’m a Ministry Official, you wouldn’t dare lay hands on me.”
“I know I’m not very bright.” Naruto replied. “But since you’re accusing me of assaulting a ministry official, whatever that is, why would I stop with you, if that was true?”
Looking puzzled for a moment, the red head opened his mouth to speak. “You’re just trying to confuse me. Now, are you going to come quietly? Or do we have to use force?”
“I’m not going anywhere with you, stupid.” Naruto repeated. “Haven’t you been listening?”
“I, Percival Weasley, do hereby place you under arrest.” He said, producing a scroll. “You are hereby charged with assault on a Ministry Official, threatening the proper authorities, as well as destruction of both private and public property. You will be held until trial and if you resist, it will only go worse for you... HEY!”
Naruto stopped once more. “You’re too much of a wimp to beat up, so I’m just going to leave before I hurt you. Have fun playing with yourself, okay?”
“You disrepectful little...” Percy snarled, his face turning red. He shoved his hand into his robes, his hand coming out holding nothing. He blinked.
“Funny thing I’ve noticed about you guys.” Naruto said casually, twirling the wand in his hand. “Without these little sticks, you aren’t all that impressive or threatening. In fact, I’d wager you can’t do anything without one. Pretty pathetic, really.”
“Give that back!” Percy snapped, lunging at Naruto. The young shinobi smirked, calmly stepping to the side and sticking his foot out. Percy landed face first in the same moment the four aurors began laughing openly at his ineptitude.
Glancing toward the other four, Naruto frowned. “Can you guys wait until I’m done with this jackass before you try to arrest me?”
They glanced at each other, talking quietly, then the tallest one nodded. “Sure, kid. No hard feelings about that, though? Just our job.”
“Whatever.” Naruto shrugged, glancing at Percy, who was struggling to rise.
“Give me back my wand, you miscreant!” Percy snapped, his arms flailing as he found his feet.
“You really want your wand back?” he asked, still twirling it.
“Yes, damn you!” Percy shouted, making another lunge for it.
“If you insist.” Sidestepping the attempt once more, Naruto positioned himself behind the unbalanced Percy.
“Konoha secret taijutsu technique....Sennen goroshi!”
The scream that issued forth from the Weasley sibling’s throat echoed all the way up to Diagon Alley.
“Ok, now that that’s done...” Naruto said, turning to face the remaining four. He barely had time to move as a dark green mass was flung straight at him, travelling at high speed. It struck Naruto and unravelled, the coils of the plant tangling around his limbs. He stood there for a moment, struggling with it, then smoke billowed up, revealing a log entangled in the coils of whatever they had thrown at him.
“How...” one of them said, eyes widening. “Where is he?”
“Catch ya later, stupid!” Naruto shouted, already on the steps leading back to Diagon Alley.
“Accio brooms!” he heard behind him, daring a glance over his shoulder to see the four men, now on broomsticks, heading straight for him.
“Shit!” he swore. “No one told me they could do that.” He glanced up ahead, spotting a familiar face. Smirking slightly, he crossed his fingers in a seal, one that he needed no prepartion for. “Kage bunshin no jutsu!”
Smoke billowed up, and the stairway exiting Knockturn Alley was crowded with countless copies of himself. “Scatter!”
Naruto himself rushed forward, skidding to a stop in front of the girl. “I think they’re upset with me from earlier.”
“Stop those two!” one of the aurors shouted, struggling past the group of Naruto that were blocking the alleyway and the men.
Naruto flashed her a grin. “Looks like you’re on their list now too.”
“Do you always have to make such a scene wherever you go?” she asked, her lips pursed in disapproval.
“It sort of finds me, you know?” he replied, glancing back as the men began to disperse the bunshin. “Time to go, it seems.” Without waiting for her response, he grabbed her wrist and flung his free hand toward the ground. Smoke billowed up, and then cleared, leaving behind the echo of her startled protests. The four men soared out on broomstick, looking around angrily at the sight of all the copies of Naruto that were bouncing off in every direction. After a moment, they cursed, and split up, chasing after the duplicates.
After a moment, one red-headed male stepped out from where he had been hiding and looked around as one of the clones brushed past him, laughing, an auror in close pursuit.
“What the bloody hell just happened here?” Ron Weasley said of no one in particular, then shook his head. “I’d better find Harry. Hermione could be in trouble.”
-
At that same moment, the exact person that Ron was worried about was, despite his fears, not in trouble. She was seriously annoyed as she was pulled along behind the young man, until they ducked down on a rooftop, hidden amidst some crates stacked there.
“We’ll wait here for a moment, then head across and out.” He said quietly, his eyes scanning the visible area.
“Do you know how much trouble you’re probably in now?” Hermione asked, crouching down behind him and mentally lamenting the fact that the skirt she was wearing wasn’t the best choice of clothing to be running from Ministry authorities in. Why was she running from Ministry authorities? Oh. Because this idiot had dragged her off in sight of everyone when those four aurors had come flying up out of Knockturn Alley. She really needed to lecture him on priorities and proper behavior. First, however. “What’s your name?”
“What’s yours?” he retorted, not looking back at her.
“It is rather rude to answer a question with a question, you know.” Hermione said with a sigh.
“Name’s Naruto.” He said, turning his head to regard her for a brief second, grinning. “Yours?”
“Hermione. Hermione Granger.” She answered, looking over his shoulder. Is it safe yet?”
“One second.” Naruto murmured, closing his eyes for a moment. The sounds of multiple popping noises went up below and off in the distance, followed by shouts of consternation. “We go now.”
“I don’t really think this is a good idea...” Hermione began.
“No time to talk it over.” He caught her wrist. “If you think it’ll help, act like you’re being taken unwillingly. You’ll look like less of an accomplice then.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, but received no verbal answer. Instead, he abruptly pulled her close, then slung her over his right shoulder and took a step toward the rooftop edge.
“Naruto! Put me down this instant!” she demanded, the words followed closely by a squeal as he dove off the roof with her in tow. He hit the ground on his feet, flashed a grin at those who stood, gaping, then darted off, skillfully navigating his way through the crowd.
“Clear a path! Official Ministry business! MOVE!” voices shouted behind him, followed by the sound of brooms rising into the air to avoid the press of the crowd. “There! Get them!”
“Like hell you will.” Naruto muttered, calling forth a dozen clones of himself. All appeared to be carrying Hermione. As one, they all shouted. “Come and get us, losers!” They promptly scattered once more, laughing mockingly as they went in every direction, several jumping up and harassing the men on brooms.
“Naruto!” Hermione shouted, beating her fists against his back. “Put me down!”
“Would you be quiet back there?” he snapped. “You’ll give us away!” He ignored her further protests, ducking into an alley and ascending the boxes stacked there, using them as a jumping point onto a nearby roof. “The Leaky Cauldron place was that way...”
“You’re going to take us through the Cauldron? You’re mad!” Hermione protested, still trying to get him to put her down.
“No.” Naruto replied. “They’ll have people there. We’re going over it.”
“You can’t do that!” she shouted.
“Why not?”
“Because, there are spells to keep anyone from coming in over the rooftops.” Hermione snapped, trying not to punch him in the back again. “Don’t you know that?”
“.....” Naruto stopped, then shrugged. “We’re not coming in, so it’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think...” Hermione began.
“You think too much.” Naruto retorted. “We’ll be fine.”
“Naruto!” she shouted as the genin started moving again. “Put me down this instant!”
He skidded to a stop. “You’re really pushy, you know that?”
“Put me down!” she repeated.
“Fine.” Without a word, he set her on her feet. Hermione glared at him and adjusted her clothing. I bet the way he was carting me around had my undergarments showing to everyone. Not to mention all those illusions he produced. The last thing I need is to have the Prophet or Witch Weekly running off some slanderous article about Harry using the color of my underwear as cannon fire. Knowing them, they’d do it. “Now, we’re going to go back down to the street and find my friends.”
“You’re also really thick.” He said.
“What?” Hermione’s eyes widened.
“That guy from earlier obviously was too cowardly to deal with me face to face, so he’s sent his flunkies after us. It’s not that hard to understand!” Naruto told her.
“Why am I even talking to you?” Hermione said to the air, throwing her hands up. “You’re even worse than Harry and Ron. Do you really think you can just attack Lucius Malfoy like that? Don’t you know how dangerous he is?”
“Um. Is he that guy from earlier?” Naruto blinked.
“Lucius Malfoy is a supporter of You-Know-Who!”
“No, I don’t know who.” He said, crossing his arms behind his head. “Never met him.”
“Have you been living in a cave?” Hermione asked skeptically.
“Nope!” Naruto told her. “Hidden Village.”
“Malfoy mentioned that...” something in her eyes flickered. “You’re a shinobi!”
Naruto looked at her, his eyes narrowed. “You say that like you’ve never seen one before.”
“I haven’t.” she admitted. “You’re the second and the one with Ron...Shikamaru, was the fourth. But before today, never.”
He frowned. “Who was the first and the third?”
“And you call me thick?” she replied. “The first was that girl from earlier. The second was, I think, that strange old man who was with Snuffles.”
“Aaaaah!” Naruto pointed. “You saw ero-sennin!”
“Ero...sennin?” Hermione frowned, her mind working to comprehend the unfamiliar term.
“It means perverted hermit.” Naruto answered after a moment of watching her frown. “S’what I call my sensei.”
“You are astonishingly disrepectful. Not at all like what the books told me about shinobi.” She said, shaking her head.
“I’m Konoha’s number one ninja, Uzumaki Naruto!” he proclaimed. “Future Hokage and the greatest genin ever!”
“...Right.” Hermione rubbed the space between her eyes. This boy’s going to be even more trouble than he’s already caused, I just know it. “Why are you here in London?”
“Oh, that?” Naruto shrugged. “Ero-sennin decided we needed some special training or something. Going to some place...Mogmarts, Bogtarts...”
“Hogwarts.” Hermione said, restraining an urge to twitch. “The name is Hogwarts.”
“Eh, whatever.” Naruto replied. “Anyway. That’s where we’re going. Ero-sennin didn’t tell us much about how we were getting here from there. “
“Well, there’s the Hogwarts Express...” Hermione began.
“Great!” Naruto grinned, grabbing her hand. “You show me the way and we’ll get there in no time flat!”
“What?” Hermione blinked. Was this boy always this hyperactive? “My friends will be looking for me...”
“They go to school with you?”
“Yes...”
“Then they’ll be on this Mogmart Express thing too.”
“Possibly.” She allowed. “But if they can’t find me, there’s no telling what they will do or where they will go.”
“You think they’ll check the places you would go to, first, right?” Naruto asked. “We’ll run across them there, I’m sure. I promise I’ll get you to your friends there.”
For a moment, Hermione wanted to believe him. “How do I know you can carry out that promise?”
“I never go back on my words.” He said, a glint of steel in his eyes. “That’s my nindo!”
Another word I don’t know... “What’s that mean?”
“Ninja way.” He said. “Now. We gotta go before they realise all those down there are just bunshin.” He held out his hand.
Can I trust him? Should I trust him? Hermione stared at his hand. “You promise?”
Naruto nodded.
“Let’s go then.” She put her hand down over his.
“Found you!” a voice shouted, as both turned, eyes widening at the beams of red light soaring straight for them.
“Down!” Naruto snapped, shoving Hermione out of the way with his own body as several bunshin appeared, intercepting the beams. Smoke billowed up as the clones exploded. Not wasting time, Naruto grabbed Hermione’s hand.
“Show me the way, alright?” he asked, pulling her along and using the smoke as cover to dive off the roof top again. “Looks like we are going through the bar.”
“But you said...” she began.
“They won’t expect us to come through there, even with people guarding the place. Plus...we can disguise ourselves.”
“I need to get into my room in the Cauldron.” Hermione said. “I’ve got stuff there I want to get.”
He frowned as they made a turn down an alleyway at her instruction. “That could be tough.”
“But not impossible?”
“Nothing’s impossible.” Naruto proclaimed. “I have an idea, but I’ve only done it once, so I dunno if it will work out.”
Hermione looked at him suspiciously. “What’s your idea.”
“Well, it’s like this...” he began, then continued his explanation.
She listened patiently, then crossed her arms below her breasts. “There’s no way I’m going to let you do that.”
Naruto rolled his eyes. “We have two options. The roofs or the exit by that bar. They can fly with those brooms, so getting on the roofs gives them the advantage since I have to keep an eye on you. Down on the ground, we have the advantage, because they can’t use their flying stunts as well as they could.” He cocked his head to the side, as if listening, then his face settled into an expression of determination. “Get down.”
“What?” she blinked.
“I said get down!” he told her, shoving her back toward the wall as the four aurors came flying down over a nearby roof, spotting them immediately.
“I’ve had enough of you guys.” Naruto muttered, crossing his fingers. “Kage bunshin no jutsu!”
The alleyway filled with smoke, quickly dispering to reveal a number of the Naruto clones rushing toward the men on brooms. The aurors wielded their spells, popping them quickly, but soon found themselves overwhelmed and ejected from their brooms. They cursed, snapping off spells like mad until the clones were dispersed.
“Nowhere to run now, children.” The leader said, sneering as he pointed his wand. “Stupefy!”
“Kaiten!” came the whispered words as a dark haired figure shot into place between the two groups. Blue light flared up, forming a perfect sphere. The stunning spell stopped, then was flung back at the men, who hastily jumped aside.
“Oi, Naruto.” A voice that Hermione recognised called out. “Can’t you go anywhere without getting into trouble?” Both looked up to see Shikamaru standing on the side of the building, the faint glow of chakra securing him there.
“You are all under arrest for interfering with Ministry business!” the leader shouted, his eyes slightly panicked, but his voice was still firm. “Surrender now and your punishment will be less severe than the one those two are getting.”
“Man...how troublesome.” Shikamaru muttered. “Shino?”
“Enough of your prattle!” the leader yelled, raising his wand. “St-“ His words died as he stared at the shavings of wood that were dropping from it.
“I believe they are called termites here.” The quiet voice of the Aburame clan member echoed forth as he, too, appeared in the on the wall opposite Shikamaru. “You won’t be using those again.”
The aurors exchanged glances, each confirming the state of their wands. Then the leader sneered. “You criminals won’t be able to get away with this.
“Insolence!” a voice declared. “To address a visiting party from another nation as criminals after you are behaving so shamefully toward them! I will not stand for this!”
Naruto blinked, looking past Neji and the aurors to see the new arrivals, his eyes widening. “Aaaah! It’s the closet-pervert!”
Ebisu’s face darkened. “I am not a closet pervert!” He turned red at the sound of Anko snickering beside him. Genma smiled faintly. The remaining genin, Chouji and Hinata, stood on either side of the three jounin. Chouji held a bag of food, and was opening a chocolate frog pack. Without blinking, he caught it when it jumped, then bit its head off. Hinata merely looked worried, her eyes wide as she stared at Naruto and the girl he stood protectively in front of.
“Do you call every adult you meet a pervert?” Hermione demanded, rolling her eyes.
“Every adult I meet IS a pervert.” Naruto countered.
“Enough!” the auror roared, openly panicked now that they were surrounded. “You will all surrender now or Ministry reprisal will be swift and terrible.”
Ebisu’s face returned to normal and a truly nasty smile appeared on his face. “I think not. In fact, you will go about your business right now. For you see, we are, as I said, visitors from another nation. Our arrival was cleared and due to our unique status, you have no authority over us.”
The group of aurors looked nervous, then one spoke. “Where are you from?”
The smile decorating Ebisu’ face got even nastier. “Konohagakure.”
All four of the ministry officers paled, then began speaking in low tones to each other.
“...Not going to provoke them any further.”
“....Damnit, don’t you have a spine?”
“I don’t care what you think he’ll do! I want my damn job and what Fudge will do if we cause an incident is more terrifying than anything that man can think up!”
“Cowards, the whole lot of you!” the leader snapped, his hand diving into his robe. “I’ll take them myself!” A wand appeared in his hand and he spun, a spell forming on his lips.
Smoke exploded everywhere, filling the alleyway in seconds. “Be amazed! Mt. Myobokugama's Holy Master Sennin has arrived!” There was a crash, a muffled groan, then the smoke cleared, revealing Jiraiya, resting seiza atop a large toad that had crashed down on the auror. “The white haired sage who is the master of toads...is here!” He rose from his seated position, extending one arm, palm out.
“Idiot!” Naruto shouted. “You always show up and try to make an entrance!”
“They would work fine if you weren’t calling me stupid!” Jiraiya retorted. The two dissolved into arguing and Hermione hung back, frowning. These people are Shinobi? They’re nothing like those books.
The two argued for a moment, then Jiraiya turned his attention toward Hermione. “Oh, it’s you. How’s that dog of yours?”
“His owner is taking care of him.” Hermione replied, frowning. “Why are you all here in London?”
Jiraiya smirked. “Well, that’s the real question, isn’t it?” The toad beneath him vanished and he landed easily on his feet, his wooden sandals cracking down on the spine of the fallen auror. “First, let us relocate to another place and we’ll see if we can answer those questions for you.” He motioned for her to follow, and they calmly walked out of the alley, leaving the remaining aurors standing around their unconscious leader.
-Once more, sharing for the list
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