[FFML] [Love Hina] [repost] Then To Live as a Woman: The First & Second Days

[Tim Williams]

I've skimmed out some of the more useless comments but left the rest in
for posterity. This fic is a year or so old, though I recently wrote a
third day chapter. I'm resending this one so that you can, if you wish,
read the whole thing. C&C still welcome. This was originally 3
chapters, though it only sounds like it should be two (the second day was
a two parter).

Then To Live As a Woman
The First Day
A Love Hina Fanfic
Tim Williams (ffml_tim@yahoo.com or fireangel37@yahoo.com)

All characters and settings are copyright Ken Akamatsu, and others.
Divergence from manga #74 (Volume 9) or anime episode 25. Fairly
spoiler-ridden if you haven't seen or read that far, but not too badly
so. This is the sequel to "To Live Not As a Warrior".

A quick note. I spent some time trying to come up with the most
respectful title a wife could give to her husband. I came up with
shujin-donno which is an educated guess. There might be a better word
than "shujin", or there might be a more commonly accepted form. If you
know of a better one (or can fill me in on how a very submissive,
traditional wife would act), please let me know and I'll change to
accommodate it.

***

Sunlight streaming through the open window touched Keitaro's face and
brought him slowly to wakefulness. Grumbling to himself, he moved one
hand to block out the light and wipe the sleep from his eyes. His lips
were dry, and his mouth offered little moisture for his tongue to rub
across them. He groaned in discomfort, and stretched his back out a
bit, which caused a soft series of pops but no real relief.

//What day is it?// he wondered, the world was a little blurry, and he
didn't quite feel like getting up enough to find get his bearings just
yet. //What time is it?// He ventured opening his eyes enough to peer
through a slit in his fingers at the window. The morning was gone, it
seemed, and afternoon was creeping in. His leg ached terribly. The
triple compound fracture wasn't healing very well, mostly because he
didn't give it much of a chance. Not with all the fighting he and
Motoko had been doing. //Tsuruko is certainly a tough opponent.//

He blinked. //She had been a tough opponent... yesterday... we
lost...// Memories came tumbling back to him and he found more than
enough willpower to sit up. He... and Motoko... and last night...

She was not in the room, which brought him some relief. //Maybe that
was all just a dream... she couldn't really... we aren't really...// As
much as he wanted it to be otherwise, he realized that it could not have
been anything but reality. His questing eyes had finally finished their
scan of the room and his brain finished analyzing the environment for
changes. His room was certainly cleaner than it had been since he could
remember, but it was also more crowded. All of Motoko's things were
arranged neatly to one side of the room and her futon was rolled up near
them. She had definitely been here.

Keitaro took a deep breath and sighed whole-heartedly. "This is a fine
mess," he grumbled to himself. Last night, Motoko had been so
insistent, and he had wanted to oblige her. The memory of her warmth
pressed against him made his skin pebble with gooseflesh. But when he
had balked, she had demanded that he kill her.

No, she hadn't demanded it. She had begged for it.

That made it even worse, in his mind. It seemed that if she couldn't be
a warrior, she had to find some other definition for herself or else
life wasn't worth living. Keitaro wasn't sure what he wanted, but he
definitely knew he didn't want Motoko to die. He was also sure that he
couldn't take advantage of her in her irrational state, even if she was
his wife.

Wife.

The word seemed to almost boom inside his skull, its single, ominous
syllable as frightening as any threat he had ever heard. Somehow, for
all of their inept fumbling at a relationship, he had spent the last
year dreaming about that word in relation to Naru, but now it had bound
him to Motoko, instead. //This... wasn't part of the plan.//

//Wife...//

//Motoko...//

//If two people who love each other go to Toudai together...//

He lay back down heavily. This was all a little more than he could
process. There had to be a way out of the marriage that would please
both of them. //Life can't be that unfair. Can it?//

He laughed to himself. Of course life could be that unfair. He'd spent
three years working like crazy to get into Toudai, and a sizable chunk
of a building had fallen on him as he attempted to attend the welcome
ceremony. For at least three months, he was going to miss classes and
fall behind the other students because of the broken leg he had received
in that incident. Then he had confessed his love to Naru from his
hospital bed only to have her avoid him for a whole two months, and the
next time he got a chance to talk to her, he was instead getting married
to Motoko.

Now he was married to a girl who seemed more than willing to die for
failing to live up to some idealized standard, but appeared to want his
permission to do so. He rolled his eyes and sighed again. "Women!" He
almost growled the word, making it sound like an accusation. In a way
it was, since it seemed to summarize the hell that was his life rather
thoroughly.

"What about us?"

From the drawl, he didn't need to get back up to know that it was
Kitsune who had spoken. He rose anyway, only a little surprised to find
her slipping into his room and closing the door behind her. Pulling a
cushion up behind him, he managed to get into a relatively comfortable
sitting position that allowed him to see her and the rest of the room
without craning his neck. He could have stood up, but without crutches
there didn't seem to be much point to it.

"Everything," he grumbled. The look Kitsune wore spoke as much to
amusement as worry, but both were present, even if not in equal
portions. "What's going on?"

"Nothing... I just wanted to look in on the happy groom and see if he
was still breathing." She smiled a little, though whether at her jest
or something else wasn't clear. "Naru filled us in on the how, but I
have to say that the why is still a little confusing."

"It... it's complicated."

"Fine, but if you don't want to talk, I'll just take my sake and go back
to my room," she said slyly, holding out the bottle she had previously
kept hidden behind her back. "Motoko didn't get to all of my stash, but
it's the survivor till I get restocked."

Keitaro sighed. "Fine, have a seat. I definitely need a drink."

***

Though Keitaro and Konno Mitsune had never been the closest of friends,
his convalescence and her lack of employment meant that they had spent
the better part of a month alone in the Hinatasou during the day.
They'd taken to sharing an afternoon drink together as often as not,
though Keitaro maintained it was for medicinal purposes only.

Today, however, he was as tempted to loose himself in the bottle as she
was. He had just finished recounting the previous day's activities when
he realized what had been bugging him for the last several minutes.
"Say, have you seen Motoko today?"

"Eh?" Kitsune asked, looking up from her drink. She had started a fair
while before coming to see Keitaro, and her cheeks were already flushed.
"Yeah, she was cleaning the hot spring when I came up to see you. Tho'
she didn't want to borrow my maid outfit this time." She winked
mischievously at the mention of it. The clothing in question had caused
no end of trouble the week before and was from that "special" collection
that Kitsune apparently never got a chance to use. Well, not that
Keitaro had ever noticed, anyway.

"She didn't go to school?" He asked it as a question, but he had
suspected it for truth even before Kitsune mentioned it. She was
shaking his head, confirming that his new wife had decided to play
hooky. Of course Motoko wouldn't want to go to school the day after she
got married. Her peers had envied her as a strong, independent woman,
but when news of her current status got out, it would shatter that image
forever. Motoko was a complicated girl, but Keitaro knew that to her
image and reality were often the same animal.

He sighed heavily at the thought. It was almost two in the afternoon,
and there wasn't a lot of time before the other residents of the house
started drifting in. Talking to Kitsune had at least helped him get his
thoughts in order, and the sake had done a lot to relieve the tension he
had been feeling, though he was careful not to get too tipsy.

"Keitaro?" He was startled to realize that her voice was dead serious,
laced with worry. "Motoko is going to be okay, right? If there's
anythin' I can do..." She trailed off as Keitaro nodded.

"She'll be okay. She's just in shock from the fight," he tried to make
the words sound believable, but he knew that it was wishful thinking, at
best. The shock of the fight had been forgotten as soon as the wedding
was over, he would have wagered. "Give her a few days and she will be
back to her old self."

"It's... well... seeing her like this... and last night... it made me
realize..." she leaned in closer as she spoke and Keitaro could feel a
confession of some sort coming up. He gulped as his mind franticly
tried to put together what she was going to say before she said it. Was
she going to try to steal him away from Motoko? Was she- His thoughts
were interrupted as she continued. "If you don't do something soon, I'm
going to have to start sleeping with Su again. And I don't know if my
back can handle it."

Keitaro blinked, his fantasy fading like mist before the rising sun. Of
course, he had experienced the bedtime thrashing that Su could dish out
and understood Kitsune's anxiety. He laughed nervously to cover his
surprise. "Y-yea... I'll try to get it sorted out as quickly as
possible."

***

By some miracle, Kitsune had found a crutch for him that was still
serviceable. The set he had left the hospital on were somewhere in
Kyoto, probably in several pieces. Even if there was only one, it still
made his movements a great deal easier. Hobbling down the hallways and
paths of the Hinatasou toward the kitchen, he was surprised to catch a
faint hint of cooking food on the breeze as he stepped out of the main
building. At this time of day, the kitchen was usually deserted.

Since he had last seen Kitsune heading toward her room, it could only
mean that Motoko was the one in the kitchen. He almost turned around
and headed back inside, but he knew that delaying could only make him
more nervous about eventually talking to her than he already was. He
took a deep breath to calm his already frazzled nerves and limped
inside.

From the doorway to the small dining area before the kitchen, he
couldn't see his new wife. He took the extra moment offered him by the
layout of the kitchen to plan what he was going to say. Motoko was one
of the strongest people he had ever met, but she was also... well,
fragile. He certainly didn't want to let the husband and wife act go
too far, but he didn't dare rebuke her outright. There was a fine line
he would have to tread until she came to her senses.

//If she comes to her senses,// some pessimistic part of his brain
added. His lips twisted in distaste, though even he was not sure
whether it was at the thought itself or at the part of his brain that
added in, //Would that be so bad?//

He couldn't let himself be drawn into that trap now. He had resisted
taking advantage of her a week ago. He had resisted taking advantage of
her the night before. He was going to resist taking advantage of her
now, as well. He nodded to himself as he strengthened his resolve and
took a step forward to look into the kitchen.

During the course of his life at the Hinatasou, Keitaro had seem Motoko
go through an evolution. When he had first moved in, she had hid her
femininity with a religious devotion that few could or would rival.
Through one series of events or another, however, she had gradually
become more feminine to the point that she would actually wear a skirt
without being forced. Sometimes, at least. Today, Keitaro realized, he
may have just seen the next stage in that progression.

Motoko was dressed simply, in the kimono she had been given by her
sister the day before. He had seen her wear kimonos to festivals
before, and always thought they looked good on her, but somehow, today
it was different. //She's certainly become more ladylike...// He'd once
forced her to wear a skirt to make her look more like a woman, and she
had balked. Now he could see that she had been holding something back
before. She hadn't wanted to look like a beautiful woman, so she hadn't
let her resistance go.

For some reason, she wasn't resisting her feminine side today, and it
showed itself in all of its glory. If he had really thought about it,
he might have realized that a traditional beauty such as she looked best
in traditional garb. The attire, in and of itself, wasn't fancy. It
was simple, but it hugged her body well and seemed to fit her as well as
her kendo garb ever had.

When he looked into the kitchen, she was just finishing the arrangement
of a tray of food. She chanced to glance up at the door and caught him
looking in as she was finishing. He realized, in some amazement, that
she had been humming a soft tune to herself while she worked. If she
hadn't stopped upon seeing him, he was certain that he wouldn't have
realized it in the first place. The tray she had been working on, held
a simple, traditional breakfast of miso, rice, and vegetables, much the
same as he had seen her prepare a week before.

Still awestruck by her beauty, he could only stare at her, mouth
slightly open. Motoko bowed a little at him, backing away from the tray
a half step. If he hadn't known better, he would have sworn that she
was blushing. "I am sorry, Shujin-donno, I did not realize that you had
arisen."

Keitaro's stupor only deepened at her humble, self-effacing manner. Had
she really just implied that he were her lord and master? While the
majority of his mind reeled in shock, some part of him realized that if
he wasn't going forward in this conversation, he was loosing ground.
"Motoko... I... you..."

She bowed her head to him respectfully, "Does my husband wish breakfast
at the table or in our rooms?"

"I... here is fine..." he managed. His lack of mental agility almost
resulting in a nasty fall as he forgot to move the crutch instead of his
cast-bound leg. He regained his balance quickly enough that he didn't
think Motoko had noticed and hobbled to the table, still drifting along
on autopilot.

The tray was placed delicately on the table and she laid out chopsticks
for him. She remained there, watching expectantly, until he started to
eat. He wanted to decline, but his stomach rumbled loudly at just that
moment and he knew that a refusal would be almost insulting.
//Besides... I eat Shinobu's food all the time, and that's not taking
advantage.// Consoling himself with that thought, he began to partake of
the meal that had been prepared for him. At first, the actions were
slow and mechanical, but eating alleviated the need for conversation and
soon his brain caught up with current events. //She is a good cook,//
he thought to himself as he finished the meal. //Her recipes are just a
little on the utilitarian side.//

//What am I thinking?// another part of his brain screamed at him. //I
came to diffuse the situation and I end up letting her call me "master"
and cook for me? If Naru saw this she would... she would...//

That part of his mind he had come to hate rang in with the answer.
//Nothing. She would do nothing. She never answered me after the
hospital, and now I'm married. She doesn't care now and maybe she never
did.//

He sighed silently and bowed his head, his eyes closing as the tried to
fight off the headache that was building. A long week was getting
longer. Realizing that he had forgotten the topic at hand, he looked up
just in time to catch the look on Motoko's face before she put back on
her 'contented wife' mask. He really shouldn't have been caught off
guard by the sight of her in the kitchen. He'd lost the initiative and
now had to play catch-up just to stay in the game.

"Motoko..." he tried feverishly to come up with a course of action which
would lead to a productive conversation. "Please... ah... help me back
to my room." It wasn't the most inspired idea he'd ever had, but it
would certainly give him a chance to think and watch Motoko a bit more
closely.

As they walked, he took the opportunity to do just that. Motoko's eyes
were a little puffy, no doubt the result of poor sleep and the weeping
she had done the night before. Not that Keitaro was about to criticize
anyone for either action, since he had engaged in plenty of both in the
last couple of years. She was tired and confused, from what he could
tell. She was acting like a perfect wife, but that may have been only
because she didn't want to have to deal with the real situation.

The walk went slowly. Keitaro didn't mean to drag down the pace as much
as he did, but his injury had definitely been better a week before.
Motoko, for her part, did not complain, and simply matched his pace,
steadying him as he walked. Soon, they were back in his room. //Our
room,// some part of his thought process added.

"Ah... please... have a seat?" he asked, though he had originally
intended it as a statement.

Motoko did, and so did he. She simply folded her hands in her lap and
looked down at the edge of the table, too demure to even look in his
direction, much less meet his gaze.

"Ah... Motoko," he began, barely having any idea of what he was going to
say before it came out. "About last night..."

She broke in as he trailed off. "I am sorry, Shujin-donno, I shall not
act in such a shameful manner again." She was blushing, he was sure of
it this time.

"No. I mean... it wasn't shameful. I understand that all of this is
very hard on you." He drew in a deep breath and looked at her for a few
seconds before going on. "Please, call me Keitaro or Urashima or
something. I am not the kind of guy who needs that kind of deference.

Motoko seemed to hesitate for a moment but nodded her head. "Yes...
Keitaro."

She seemed so resigned about it, he realized. He could probably ask her
to do just about anything and she would without more than a moment's
hesitation. He resisted the urge to sigh, again, though it was strong.
"Motoko... I... I know that everything is different now... and that it's
all been so difficult for you... for both of us. You're acting... I
liked the old you. You know... before..."

Keitaro wasn't sure if she looked relieved or frightened at the notion.
"I... I will t-try..." she stammered, appearing completely unsure of
herself. The contrast between this and her personality before the
wedding was stark.

It was at that moment that he realized that there was no magical fix for
the situation. Whatever had been broken inside Motoko wasn't simply
going to repair itself, and she may never be who she had been before.
Being banished from the Shinmeiryuu had shattered her spirit into a
thousand pieces, and he was going to have to pick them up and try to
make them into a whole unit once more.

They sat in silence for a while, though the gap in the conversation only
got longer and longer. Motoko wasn't about to offer to speak without
being spoken to, and Keitaro was desperately trying to decide how to
tackle the situation. He had to keep up the husband routine, if for no
other reason than it was for her safety.

//Not that I would mind being... you know... but with the old Motoko,//
he finally admitted to himself. He drew a long shuddering breath,
actually blushing at the thought, though it was one he had had before.

The silence was eventually broken when Motoko produced a sheathed blade
from the folds of her kimono and laid it gingerly on the table before
Keitaro. For his part, Keitaro started at the blade for a few moments,
not understanding, then the night before came rushing back to him and he
protested, "I'm n-not going to kill you..."

She shook her head. "I... you say you w-wanted me to act like... like
before," she said as she turned her head to the side slightly. "I don't
know if I can... so much has changed." Keitaro realized with a start
that she was on the verge of tears. "But... I would have you know that
I won't kill myself. No matter how bad things get..."

"Motoko... I..."

"I have always served a blade, it seems," she said with a bitter smile.
Tears were rolling down her cheeks at this point. "If... when you no
longer want me as a wife, just give me back that blade and I will make
an honorable end to myself."

"No!" he said with force and feeling. He came up to a half standing
position as he said it, but couldn't maintain it with his broken leg.
Somehow, he managed to limp halfway around the table to sit adjacent to
her, down the next table edge. "I don't want you to die... ever..." He
took one of her hands in his, and he was surprised to find that he was
also crying at this point. She didn't resist him, and her words seemed
to lend her a little bit of comfort. "So don't talk about killing
yourself anymore... okay?"

She had degenerated to full tears as well and nodded, unable to form
words without her voice betraying her. He reached out and drew her
closer and they sat there, in a heap of sobbing for a few moments. Even
as upset as he was, Keitaro couldn't help but notice how nice she felt
against him, but he quickly pushed aside such thoughts. //Think pure
thoughts, think pure thoughts, think...// he reminded himself, and it
became a mantra. Of the things he was likely to do in the near future,
taking advantage of Motoko wasn't going to be one of them, he decided.

After their initial crying, they stayed in that position for a bit, and
Keitaro was surprised to find Motoko's hands curl up in the clothing
across his chest. She pressed the side of her face against it, as well,
and he had nothing to do with his arms except hold her.

***

Motoko held on to Keitaro for quite a while. She wasn't forceful about
it, but it was clear to him that extricating her would require some
effort. It didn't seem worth it, though, since it was oddly comforting
to him, as well. He inhaled the smell of her hair and something...
stirred. He gulped, but tried his best not to make it any more obvious
than it already was that he was growing aroused.

Feverishly, he tried to think of anything except the matter, and woman,
at hand, but only succeeded in fixating on the feel of her against his
body. //Not good, not good!// he reminded himself.

Fortunately for Keitaro, his door slid open at exactly that moment and
Kitsune poked her head inside. "Eh, Keitaro?" she asked, looking in.
"Oh..." she trailed off as she spotted the two of them.

Keitaro suddenly found himself free of Motoko's clutches as she quickly
went back to a more dignified pose. He could see a blush creeping
across her face, and her hands fretted at the hem of her kimono. It was
almost cute to see her like that. He shook the thoughts from his head
and turned back to Kitsune.

"Y-Yes?" he asked, his embarrassment causing his tongue to flub the
simple word.

"I... ah... someone left some stuff at the top of the steps for you. I
brought it in." She produced a thick leather envelope, almost large
enough to be considered a satchel, and tossed it to him. The weight of
the package was sufficient that it landed only a few feet away with a
heavy flopping sound. "I'll... ah... just leave you two alone..." She
backed out, almost appearing embarrassed at having walked in on them,
though it likely had more to do with the oddity of Motoko's behavior
than anything else.

Keitaro nervously picked up the envelope, noticing that whoever had
addressed it had used only his first name, written in neat kanji on the
front of the package. Breaking the seal, he was surprised to discover a
half dozen scrolls and a small sheaf of other documents contained
inside. The scrolls were each sealed, so he lifted up the sheaf of
papers first.

The title of the first sheet immediately caught his attention and he
gulped dramatically. While he had been consoling himself with the fact
that the marriage had been a thing of tradition only, the document in
his hands was embossed with official seals and carried a title much akin
to "Certificate of Acceptance of Notification of Marriage". He skimmed
the document, barely able to make sense of the words written thereon.

He wasn't quite sure how Tsuruko had managed it, but it was possible
that she had friends in the right places who had helped her get a
marriage declared official without all of the requisite documentation.
It was also possible that documents had been falsified, but petitioning
for an annulment would likely be the last thing Motoko wanted at this
point.

He realized that Motoko was giving him a questioning look, though she
was still apparently in her shell enough not to interrupt his gawking.
"I... we..." he stammered, sliding the document toward his new wife.
She looked it over and nodded, as though it were only what she had
expected. He discovered that the next page was a letter from Tsuruko.

"Keitaro-san,

I trust that this letter finds you and my sister well. This all must
come as a harsh adjustment for the both of you, but I saw the way you
worked together against me and feel that your marriage is not an ill-
fated one.

Though your debt to me has been discharged, I feel that I must ask a
favor. The family line of which I and Motoko are the last descendants
will die out completely with your union, and the Shinmeiryuu may well be
lost or fragmented beyond repair without the Aoyama family to lead it.
I care for the Shinmeiryuu almost as much as my own sister, and wish to
put forth the following offer so that both may flourish.

It is my wish that your family continue the Aoyama line. Should you
choose to learn the way of the Shinmeiryuu, I shall return to the
Hinatasou each year on the anniversary of your union. If I am defeated
by honorable means by the pair of you, then I will stand to certify you
as a master of the school and allow the school to pass on to your
second-born child, provided he or she takes up the Aoyama name. Until
such a time as your child is able to take up the school, my sister will
have to manage the dojo.

If you do not wish this, then I still wish both you and my sister a
happy life together.

Tsuruko"

Keitaro reread the letter a few times, trying to figure out what,
exactly, Tsuruko intended. He had known all along that she hadn't
wanted Motoko to loose against her, especially since she had gone so far
as to tell him outright, and this seemed like it might be a second
chance for Motoko. Or was it?

He would have to set the destiny of his second-born child before his or
her birth, though he wasn't sure destiny was such a bad thing.
Certainly it would give some meaning back to Motoko's life, or at least
keep her from pretending to be his property. He would gladly agree to
do it, if it meant her happiness. It didn't even require him to
relinquish his ownership of the Hinatasou, though he certainly couldn't
manage it effectively from Kyoto, with his own family's business to
consider and whatever career he ended up with on his own... It certainly
seemed like he was going to be in for a lot of work if he agreed.

His true misgivings were about the offer of further matches to become a
master of the Shinmeiryuu. He had seen Motoko's skill and dedication
and knew he possessed neither. Even if he were virtually immortal,
there was no way he could best Motoko's sister in a fight in just a
year's time. He looked up at his wife, who looked down at his glance,
though she had been watching him read intently. He could catch just a
hint of excitement in her expression, and he knew what he must do.

He passed the letter to Motoko, and, as she read, leafed through the
other papers in the stack. The first was a long flowery note informing
him that he had permission to study the Shinmeiryuu school with Tsuruko
as his official master. The second was a similar letter notifying
Motoko of her banishment from the school. Third in the line was a note
very similar to the first which allowed Motoko back into the school, but
only on a provisional basis to train Keitaro, and it also placed Tsuruko
as her official master. The scrolls were charts of techniques and
pressure points suitable for a student of the martial arts.

Keitaro shook his head. Tsuruko was a woman of her word, but she was
also the type to find a way around even the most definitive declaration.
She had seen to it that Motoko was banished from the school, but then
let her back in within a matter of moments. Then she had given him an
impossible task, but completing it would mean he would be able to return
Motoko to her previous status. Doing so would also mean he would be
duty bound to be sure that the Shinmeiryuu dojo was properly cared
for... coupled with his own family obligations, somehow, his dreams of
archeology didn't seem like they were going to come true.

He looked back to his wife and saw that she was crying as she reread the
letter, though they were not the hopeless tears that she had shed
earlier or the night before. At that moment, he knew that what he had
to do. At least, this time, he was sure that he had a choice in the
matter, even if he weren't the type of guy who would ever choose the
other path. //Besides, old rocks are boring, anyway...//

"Motoko... I... will you train me? So I can defeat your sister?" he
asked hesitantly.

He had expected a nod or an agreement. Instead, he found himself
tackled and being given a long, deep kiss. //Salty... she must have had
some of the miso soup earlier...// His mind was, more or less, fried at
that point. He had been kissed by her just the day before, but this
time it was different. For one thing, there wasn't a demonic entity
moving him about like a puppet, and there was no reason outside of the
two of them why it should be happening. Eventually, he just relaxed,
his arms falling lightly around her and did his best to kiss her back.

Since fate always seemed to conspire to ruin any perfect moment Urashima
Keitaro may have ever had, the door to the room slid open a little, as
though someone were seeing admittance. There was a gasp and then the
sound of running feet, which could only indicate Shinobu had seen them
doing what they had just been doing.

Keitaro let the kiss go on for a few more seconds before he could regain
enough composure to break it off and push his wife away slightly. For
her part, Motoko realized what she had just done and blushed a deep
crimson. She lingered for only a moment before sitting back and
climbing off Keitaro. She looked embarrassed, but she wasn't yelling or
crying, which Keitaro decided had to be a good thing. He wanted nothing
more than to kiss her back, but, with the heat of the moment gone, he
wasn't sure it wouldn't evoke a little too much of the old Motoko and
lead to more pain for his injured leg. Besides, Shinobu wasn't handling
the whole marriage situation well. //She's probably just being
overprotective of Motoko,// he decided.

"I should go after her..." he said, rising to find his crutch. Motoko
only nodded, her face still beat red. Apparently she had not intended
to be so forward.

***

Keitaro finally found Shinobu in her secret place among the rooftops.
He was going to greet her, but realized that Su was already present and
that the two were having a conversation. He edged closer, as quietly as
he could with a crutch under one arm and listened in. //Just so I know
what's bothering her,// he assured himself. Though he did have a bad
habit of eavesdropping that often ended in being attacked.

"... not like I ever had a chance. I mean... sempai is always getting
caught in... situations with everyone but me." Shinobu was saying, and
he could tell from the tone of her voice that she had been crying.

"Keitaro is great and all, but I don't know why you're so upset. What'd
he do?"

"He... I... he was kissing Motoko, with his h-hands all over h-her... I
k-know that they're m-married, b-but... I didn't think it was for
real..." she trailed off, sniffling.

"Hey! I know!" Su almost bounced in her excitement, though Su almost
bounces in just about any emotional state, so it was no surprise. "Why
don't you get him to marry you, too? That way you could get all kissy
with him, too."

From his vantage point, Keitaro couldn't see them, but he could almost
feel Shinobu blushing. "We... we don't do that in Japan, Su. Besides,
he still treats me like a kid..."

"Awww... things are easier back home."

Keitaro realized that Shinobu must have a crush on him. It certainly
explained a lot of her behavior over the last year. He also realized
that he was the last person who should be trying to talk her through
this trouble. Shinobu had been right about him being married. Whatever
happened with her, he was sure he couldn't marry her, and if Motoko
regained even a portion of her former confidence, cheating on her would
be as good as signing his own death warrant.

He slipped back inside before he was seen and crept very carefully until
he was well away from the area. He'd just breathed a sigh of relief
when a few paces ahead of him a door slid open, and Naru stepped into
the hallway from the laundry area. She noticed him immediately and made
a small noise similar to "humph" and turned to go the other way.

"Naru, wait..." he began, certain she'd keep walking. He was rather
surprised when she stopped and turned on her heel again. "I... ah...
I'm sorry about everything..."

Naru suddenly smiled at him, broadly. "Whatever for? You don't have to
apologize to me for anything, Urashima-san." The impersonality of her
address stung him even though the words themselves did not.

"I never meant to get married... it was all an accident," he said, but
her expression remained the same sarcastic smile.

"Well, you certainly didn't put up much resistance."

"I... we... Tsuruko's scary..." He had no good excuse that he could
share. Somehow, the fact that Motoko had spent the last two days ready
to commit suicide didn't seem like it was anyone's business except for
his and hers. Well, and Kitsune, but she had just been worried about
Motoko. "Besides, what do you care? You've been avoiding me for the
last two months!"

"You're right. I don't care." She was still smiling as she stomped her
foot, turned and walked away.

Keitaro didn't try to follow her for much the same reasons that he
didn't talk to Shinobu before. He had been convinced he was in love
with Naru, and he still thought she felt something for him. However,
her behavior had never shown it. Besides, unless he found a way out of
this marriage, it was all a moot point.

//Do I even want to get out of the marriage?// some part of his mind
asked. He honestly didn't have a good answer for it. In the last two
days, they had kissed twice, and he could not deny that he felt
something when they did. He watched Naru's retreating back and realized
how much he had missed her for the last two months, but that seemed to
be something that he was going to have to grow accustomed to, if this
meeting were any indication.

He sighed again, realizing the irony that the one girl in the Hinatasou
that he had always tried to avoid was now one of the only two girls who
would still listen to him and seemed to like him. He certainly hoped
that Shinobu came to terms with his marriage and still liked him. He'd
always thought of her as something of a little sister, but that might
not have been an image he would be able to maintain. And Naru was...
well, Naru. Su was still Su, of course, and Sarah was still Sarah, and
Mutsumi was still Mutsumi, though she hadn't been around in a while.
Those three, however, weren't very good with conversations, as a rule.

The only thing that made it seem like a livable situation at all was
that just a year and a half before, having even a single female friend
would have been a daydream. Now he had a fairly good female friend,
provided he didn't trust her too much, and a wife that was beautiful and
intelligent. Even if she was still in highschool.

//Of course, she'll be taking next year's entrance exams... maybe she
could go to Toudai, too...// he smiled at the thought. Maybe childhood
promises were a bit overrated.

***

The rest of the evening passed as well as could be expected. Naru was
nowhere to be found, and Shinobu seemed to be avoiding Keitaro and
Motoko with a similar passion. Kitsune, Sarah, and Su were as jovial as
ever, though it seemed a little hollow without the others around.

Motoko, herself, seemed a changed person since the arrival of the
letter. She'd thrown off the passive persona she had adopted that
morning and returned to some semblance of her old self. After dinner
that night, she had insisted on teaching Keitaro how to hold a blade and
the two of them had hobbled outside and practiced for a little while.
Of course, when Motoko said that she wanted to teach him how to hold a
sword, she meant exactly that. The entire first lesson was devoted to
nothing other than the proper grip and wrist posture. The lesson wasn't
very challenging, but what she could teach him while he had a broken leg
was rather limited.

The sun began to set before the lesson was over, and they walked back as
the fiery orb of the sun slowly sank below the horizon. Keitaro was
exhausted from the practice, and leaning against Motoko provided him the
support he needed to be able to walk. At least, that's what Motoko
assumed the reason was. I wasn't that he just wanted to be close to her
or anything, not that she minded the attention much.

Or maybe it was that he liked being close to her. Some of her old
confidence had returned after the letter and even more as they practiced
that night. While a wife in her family wasn't required to carry on the
family school, neither was she forbidden if her husband was also willing
to take on that responsibility. Her own mother had taught the basics to
the youngest students, herself and her sister included, for years.
Doing so freed up her father to do the more in-depth training that the
elder students required.

Whatever ended up happening, she was sure that Keitaro would not prove a
too bad match of a match. Marriage wasn't always about love, and
traditionally that was even truer. For a while, she had thought that
her life was over, but common sense eventually won through. She started
to remember all of those times that the two of them had grown close and
realized that, just maybe, she could fall for him. He certainly wasn't
a bad kisser. She blushed at the thought of her earlier forwardness,
but smiled a little at the same time.

The sun finished setting just as they entered the Hinatasou and Motoko
helped Keitaro to the men's bath, though she didn't go in. The hot
springs were deserted and she wanted to have a soak of her own before
bedtime, the hot water further serving to wipe away the horrible day
before and the lukewarm ending to this one. She wasn't ready to share a
bath with her husband. At least, not yet.

***

Keitaro sighed as he washed himself. He was sore all over, though his
broken leg didn't ache any more than it had that morning. Motoko was a
good teacher, and quick to adjust for his injury. Having choices seemed
to make Motoko alive again. She was still greatly changed from a week
before, but now he wasn't so sure it was for the worst. She'd thrown
off the "humble wife" act and gone back to at least a semblance of her
old personality.

Somewhere in the transition, though, she had forgotten to be ashamed of
the fact that she was a woman. She was so much softer, so much more
feminine... He sighed again, though this time there was a smile on his
face as he did so. Whatever he had feared the night before, today
certainly hadn't turned out a complete disaster. Aside from Naru and
Shinobu, everyone else just sort of took it all in stride.

He laughed as he realized how well off he had it. He was the owner and
manager of a girl's dormitory, which made just enough money to cover
repairs and keep him fed and offered a place where he could live for
free. He was married to a beautiful woman who didn't seem to mind,
well, not much anyway. Best of all, of course, he had reached his
lifelong dream of becoming a student at Toudai.

There were black patches, of course, the broken leg and Naru's confusing
behavior being near the top of the list, but all in all, life was pretty
good.

After about a half hour of cleaning and soaking of various limbs,
Keitaro hobbled back to his room, only a little upset that he couldn't
have a full bath because of the cast. He laughed softly to himself.
//Maybe when the cast comes off, Motoko and I can really take a bath
together...// Surprisingly enough, even this thought did not cause his
nose to bleed. Apparently, being married gave a man some protection
from such embarrassment.

Returning to his room, he found, with only a little surprise, that two
futons were laid out, side by side. Of course, he remembered, Motoko
was still insisting on living in one set of rooms together. She had
declared that doing otherwise would violate the spirit of her
"punishment", something she was keen to avoid, consider the provisional
return of her training privileges. He had a feeling that she would
still obey any order he gave her, if he insisted, but he wasn't sure
what she'd do if Tsuruko countermanded it. Of course, it was possible
she had ulterior motives at stake, but he doubted it.

Since it was late, he went ahead and laid down on the futon closer to
the door. He didn't really have a "side" of the room, but the only
other time he'd slept with other girls in the room, aside from the night
before, it was the one he'd taken. He had just settled in when the door
slid open again and soft footsteps came into the room, followed by the
closing of the door.

It was dark, but he could just make out the outline of a female form
which slipped around him and into the rest of the room. He didn't roll
over to watch the form, but the rustling of cloth indicated clothing was
being changed. Shortly thereafter, the other figure settled onto the
other bed.

"Motoko?" he asked, almost tentatively.

"Yes, Keitaro?" Her voice was soft and just a little bit drowsy, though
it quite warm, as well. She hadn't spoke to him that way more than a
handful of times since they had met, when he thought about it.

"Did... did I show any promise tonight?" he asked, thinking about the
practice they had been doing earlier in the evening. "Do you think I
can learn enough to best your sister?"

There was silence for a few moments. "I think there is some potential
in you. I believe you will do fine." Her tone was confident, and he
didn't think to ask what type of potential she was talking about until
she was already fast asleep.

END

Author's notes: Hmm... There were some hard decisions in this story.
The letter/package thing I'd wanted to do all along, but it changed a
lot since its initial concept. The timing of it was also a big deal. I
kind of copped out and didn't let the angsty part of the story go on any
longer than it needed to, but I don't like to write angst so much.
There are also the reactions of the other Hinatasou residents to
consider. While it might have been fun to have them react to angsty
Motoko, I think this would just end with Keitaro coming off as a villain
for many of them, which isn't a bad theme, but it wasn't what I was
going for.

As for character reactions... well, this is a relatively long fic so I
can write longer notes. I'll go over it character by character with a
few general subjects thrown in.

Keitaro: He hasn't put up much of a fight on anything that's been
thrown at him. Why? Well, it's complicated. After two months of
avoidance, he was starting to doubt that Naru returned his feelings, and
maybe his own feelings started to fade somewhat. By the volume of the
manga where I diverge he actively wonders about whether or not he would
be happy with Motoko instead of Naru at least twice. It doesn't take
much in the way of plot to make him take that chance (particularly since
they're already married).

Motoko: Motoko is, at the same time, both OOC and IC. The manga
version of her would never do or say most of what's going on in this fic
and the prequel, but the manga Motoko also didn't loose the fight in
chapter 74. She had everything she ever dreamed of taken away from her
and found herself forced to marry at a young age to a man she didn't
hate, but didn't necessarily love, either (I understand this changes in
later volumes of the manga, but it hadn't happened by volume 9, so it
didn't happen in the story). She might have felt some "like" in the
teenage sense (which only makes sense... she is a teenager) for him and
might even have dated him if he'd been interested and asked (circa
chapter 72). What happened to her, though, was traumatic, and robbed
her of her very identity (that of a swordswoman). She coped by
attempting to redefine herself into another role. She tried to become a
"perfect wife" for Keitaro and when she initially failed to complete
part of that, she felt that she had failed again and wanted to die.

To a large extent, Motoko's character is always a struggle between being
a warrior and being a woman. At the start of the manga, she wants to be
one to the exclusion of the other, and while she makes some tentative
steps toward being a little of a woman in addition to being a warrior,
having the one she knows stripped from her (the warrior aspect) and
replaced with only the woman aspect is difficult and leads to the role
she tries to play. This explains why she wants to die, since she had
defined life as two roles, and believes herself a failure at both.

Now, she's somewhere in between. She has a role again, but she is much
more balanced between woman and warrior. And it's possible that she's
discovered some feelings for Keitaro that she was keeping hidden from
herself.

Naru: Naru is complicated. Right now, she is upset and can't do
anything about it. She has to be blaming herself as much as Keitaro for
letting this situation arise. My feel from the manga is that Naru has
three reactions to a turn of events she doesn't like. 1) She hits it.
2) She runs from it. 3) She "kills with kindness", which is really
sarcasm. Option 1 doesn't really apply here, which leaves us with 2 and
3. Some people thought in the first part that she should have stormed
out, but in this instance, I believe she is convinced it's all a huge
mistake that will come crashing down on Keitaro. So she's adopted
option 3, instead.

Shinobu: Poor Shinobu. There's not a whole lot I can do for her in
this fic. She tends to run away from things she doesn't like, but she
has nowhere to run to. She will get over it in time and come to terms
with the marriage, but it won't be easy.

Su: Su is Su. She doesn't have romantic interests in Keitaro, and even
if she did, she'd probably just try to convince him to engage in
polygamy.

Kitsune: I don't know if I wrote Kitsune as very IC or very OOC. She's
both one of the most mature and most immature characters in the manga,
and she puts forth the notion that she would take Keitaro for her own,
if he wanted. She is also quite possibly Keitaro's best friend during
the period where Naru won't talk to him in Volume 9. After looking her
character over carefully, I understand why Keitaro + Kitsune is a
relatively common pairing in fanfiction. In either case, she's very
adult when it comes to relationships and wouldn't be any less of a
friend to him if he were dating/married to someone else.

Sarah: Sarah is Sarah (much like Su is Su). She has no romantic
interest in Keitaro, and I don't know her character well enough write
it, so she fades into the background a lot. Which she does in the
manga, too, so that's okay.

Japanese Marriage: I've tried fairly hard to get the various aspects of
Japanese marriage right. If I've made a mistake somewhere along the
line, please let me know, I'm always interested in learning more. If
you have any good websites on the subject or firsthand knowledge, that'd
be great.

Tsuruko's marriage: It's been pointed out to me that Keitaro's family
has a business that they want him to continue as well. In the original
version of the fic, Tsuruko's deal was for Keitaro to give up his family
name and join the Aoyama, but doing so would lead to him shirking his
own familial obligations and probably he would give back the Hinatasou
as well. In this version the bargain is simpler. By becoming a master
of the school and agreeing to have his second-born (or possibly first
born if it is female, since the Urashima probably care about that but
the Aoyama definitely don't) carry on the school, it seems a little bit
neater. This also makes Motoko into Uruashima Motoko. Why doesn't
Tsuruko simply do the same thing for her child and take the school that
way? Good question... and one I'm considering the possible answers to.
Most likely, through some unfortunate circumstances, she is barren,
making it impossible.


************************************************** **

Then To Live As a Woman
The Second Day
A Love Hina Fanfic
Tim Williams (ffml_tim@yahoo.com or fireangel37@yahoo.com)

All characters and settings are copyright Ken Akamatsu, and others.
Divergence from manga #74 (Volume 9) or anime episode 25. Fairly
spoiler-ridden if you haven't seen or read that far, but not too badly
so. This is the second part of TTLAaW and follows TTLAaW: The First
Day.

+++

Aoyama Motoko's life had changed drastically in the few days following
her marriage to Urashima Keitaro. //Urashima Motoko,// she silently
reminded herself. That was one of the more difficult changes for her to
adjust to. Cleaning the rooms that she shared with her husband was not,
though, and it was the activity she was currently engaged in. Keitaro
didn't ask her to clean up, but she did anyway.

The night of the wedding and their first day together had been horrific
in many ways, and oddly joyous in others. For one thing, it had been a
pleasant surprise for her to learn that she was not forever exiled from
her family school, the Shinmeiryuu. The fear of that exile had been
much of what lead to her attempted suicide on the wedding night, and the
offer of it the day after. Now, however, the gnawing emptiness inside
her breast had receded and finally gone dormant, if it had not vanished
completely.

As long as she proved herself worthy, her daughter would one day inherit
the school, and she would watch over it until then. The task set her to
prove herself, however, was an arduous one. She had to train her new
husband in the way of the blade and, together with him, best her sister
in honorable combat. Some part of the pride that she had clung to for
most of her life screamed for her to veritably beat Keitaro into shape
and defeat her sister on the first attempt, but other parts of her
wanted to let it go for a few years. //At least, with a standing offer
like this, I don't have to worry about inheriting the school before I'm
ready...// she reminded herself.

The night before, she had given Keitaro a lesson in kendo, and, while he
wasn't completely hopeless, he wasn't taking to it like a fish to water,
either. It was going to take a lot of time and effort to make him into
a master of the Shinmeiryuu, but that suited her well enough. After
all, she could not teach him to be better than she was herself, and it
would be years before she felt herself a true master.

As she worked, she couldn't help but notice that the he smell of him
lingered in the room, though she did her best to ignore it. As much as
she hated to admit it, she had become increasingly attracted to him over
the last few days, but that did not mean she had to like it. She sighed
softly, continuing to work. He hadn't done anything she expected and
quite a few things that she hadn't. Saving her from herself had
certainly been among his more stellar moments, in her eyes. She had
fully expected him to prove as big a pervert as she had always accused
him of being and make her into a lust object within moments of returning
from the wedding. To her surprise he hadn't touched her, even when she
was naked and pressing... the thought brought a blush to her cheeks and
she shook it off before it went any farther.

She had certainly misjudged him before, but now she was in a situation
when they had no choice but to do what a man and a woman naturally did
together. After all, was she not already making plans for the life of
their second child? She blushed at the thought. Though she was
certainly in complete control of just about every facet of her
personality, she was certainly not in control of her libido, which she
was finding had more and more of a mind of its own. For some reason, it
rather liked it when she had no control over matters, and this was
certainly prime ground for that. She shook her head slightly, clearing
out the salacious thoughts. //Kitsune would have a field day if she
knew...//

Her iron control, however, was enough to keep such thoughts internal and
any impulses well in check. Even if her pulse did quicken... She
stifled those ruminations as well. It was far too early in the morning
to be thinking of things that should be happening at night, in the dark.
On the futons she had just rolled up and placed right over... She
almost growled as she cut that train of thought short as well, though
she couldn't deny a certain tingly feeling creeping over her at the
prospect.

Considerations about nocturnal antics were pushed aside as she uncovered
something among her things which reminded of her other reasons for
wanting to take her time with the training. It had been over a week
since she attended school, and she wasn't even sure if she was going to
go back. She certainly wanted to. If she had bested her sister, she
would have asked permission to attempt admission to Toudai, but now...
She still needed permission, but from someone else. She reread the
label on the book in her hands and sighed.

When Keitaro spoke over her shoulder, she almost jumped out of her skin,
"What do you have there, Motoko?" She tried to hide the book as quickly
as possible, but it had been too late. "Oh, you're registered at the
same juku I attended. What University are you shooting for?"

She blushed and stammered, "I... n-nothing..." However, as much as she
wanted to feel embarrassed, Keitaro was not looking at her accusingly
but, rather, like he honestly wanted to know. She steeled her nerves
and just went ahead and said it. "I... I wanted to try for Toudai."

Keitaro smiled broadly and laughed, though it was warm and not mocking.
"That's great!" he said with honest enthusiasm. He leaned his crutches
against the wall and sank down beside her. How he had managed to sneak
up behind her, on crutches no less, was a mystery to her, but it
probably had a lot to do with her distraction.

"Does that mean you're going to school today? I was starting to get a
little worried that you were quitting..." he trailed off.

Motoko bit the inside of her lip gently, "I... Now that I am your wife,
I didn't know if you would allow..." she trailed off as he placed a hand
gently on her shoulder. //Stupid, of course he would allow it. He's
too nice to demand I stay home.//

"Motoko, I want you to do what will make you happy." For a moment he
seemed as though he were going to stop there, but after a brief
hesitation, he continued. "Besides, your intelligence and strength are
some of the things I like about you..." he did trail off this time,
blushing slightly, and it didn't take a look in the mirror for Motoko to
know that she was blushing at the statement as well.

Married or not, they were both forging into new ground. Even a
statement of "like" was almost a scandalous declaration.

"I know it's Saturday, but doesn't your high school start in an hour?"
he asked in an attempt to change the subject. Motoko blinked, realizing
that she'd lost track of the time while cleaning and hurried to get
ready. Facing her classmates after what had happened would be rough, at
best, but a warrior did not back down from such challenges.

***

Some time later, Kitsune literally crawled into Keitaro's room. He
could understand why she was crawling, given the amount of screaming
that had come from her room the night before. Seeing her, he climbed
back to his feet and retrieved his crutch so he could hobble over and
help her with the door.

"Kei... Keitaro?" she asked, looking up at him and appearing quite
battered.

Keitaro took a deep breath and tried to keep from grinning. She had
once allowed him to fall prey to Kaolla Su's nighttime activities
without warning him, so this seemed almost a karmic turn of events.
"Kitsune..." he trailed off as he tried to think of a way to put it
gently. Failing that, he took half a step back and let loose with
honesty, "You look like hell."

Kitsune rolled onto her back, staring vacantly at the ceiling. "Ain't
my fault..." she grumbled, "Your wife was the one that threw out all of
my sake..."

Keitaro blinked and realized what was really wrong with her. It was
almost laughable, but she might not think so. "Ohhh, I get it. You're
sober."

She almost growled at him, but put her arm over her eyes instead. "So
what if I am?"

Keitaro reflected that Kitsune had become quite a professional drinker.
While she didn't get drunk too terribly often, she certainly stayed at
least two cups from sober if she could at all help it. That, combined
with the thrashing she had taken the night before, had probably been
more than she could handle. "Haruka-obasan has sake at the tea house...
here, let me help you up."

***

Motoko was, indeed, late by the time she limped in to school. Her leg
injury from the final battle with her sister made the last leg of the
journey quite difficult, at best. She hadn't realized when she was
franticly getting ready, but she had snatched up Hina and stuffed it
into her sword bag before leaving. She didn't notice until she was so
far gone that returning it would have been a major detour. It was
heavier than Shisui had been, and its presence only reminded her of the
blade she had lost.

//I should not be carrying this blade... it is not mine.// She hobbled
to the principal's office at the direction of her teacher. //Or is
it?// The principal asked her a series of questions about where she had
been for the last week, but with her explanation he congratulated her on
her happy union. //I sealed it... but it is the property of the
Urashima family.//

She apologized for her absence, but because of the family issues and her
otherwise stellar record, there was no penalty for it outside of her
need to catch up. She gained a lot of odd glances from fellow students
as she settled in after returning to class. //Shisui...//

The rest of the morning passed in a blur, but soon Motoko found herself
at kendo club. She was distracted, of course, and the different blade
certainly drew stares from those that saw it. Hina was, if nothing
else, a beautiful work of steel, though it also looked almost
malevolent. She didn't want to talk about it and was relieved that no
one asked.

Finally, she found herself back at the Hinatasou, the sun already having
sank below the trees above, though it was still a while from the
horizon. She would still need to attend her juku before the night was
out, but for now she had a couple of hours to unwind. //The hot springs
are made for times like these,// she reminded herself.

Not seeing anyone in the common areas, Motoko crept to Keitaro's room.
//My room,// she silently added. She was slowly growing accustomed to
sharing things with him, and almost growing to like it. Two days seemed
so short a time, but it also seemed like an eternity.

***

Motoko settled into the steamy water, sighing heavily. Her body ached
all over, and not just from the two day old battle injuries. She had
been forced to rush from place to place and had felt off center all day.
She didn't even remember a third of what she had done or said throughout
the day. //What's wrong with me? I'm so... unbalanced.//

However, she suspected what was actually happening. Today had been her
first day back at school since the wedding, and she was a different
person than she had been the last time she was there. Whatever changes
had occurred, they had been in her and not in her surroundings, but she
hadn't quite figured out how to reintegrate herself back into the world
she had once known her precise station in.

Relaxing in the hot springs made things seem better at that moment, but
she knew that nothing would have changed when she got out. //These are
the things that have made me soft...// she wanted to scream, but knew
that it was no good. She had found a strength in this place, and these
surroundings. The path of the warrior required dedication, she had
learned, but the surroundings were irrelevant.

She stretched and tried to work out the worst knots of tension. Her
first two days as a married woman had certainly not played out as she
had expected. Of course, she had never actually expected to be married,
so that made her expectations a suspect, at best.

She stayed wrapped in her thoughts for a while, but the sound of someone
entering the bathing area brought her back to attention. She fumbled
for her blade, but she had left Hina back in their rooms, and came up
empty. If it were Keitaro, husband or not, she was going to smash him
one. //Or you could just-// she cut off the thought before it began and
frowned. //When did I become such a pervert?// she asked herself, but
had no answer.

The form resolved itself into Kitsune as she slid into the water. "Hey,
Motoko, relaxing?" she greeted as she noticed Motoko on the other side
of the bath. "Got to go to your juku later tonight?"

Motoko gave her a quizzical look, but didn't ask how she'd known about
that. "Yes, I have a bit of a break and thought I would relax."

Kitsune settled back in the water of the hot spring sighing contentedly.
After a few seconds she nodded to Motoko, "I know what you mean... it's
certainly been a long day."

After a while, Kitsune slid closer to Motoko, a sly look on her face.
Motoko didn't retreat, though she was fairly certain that whatever the
other woman had decided to do or say, she wouldn't appreciate it.
Kitsune settled in near her and stared at her for a few minutes, as
though studying her.

Eventually, Motoko began to get embarrassed at the inspection.
"Kitsune... what do you want?"

Kitsune laughed, "Oh don't mind me, I'm just trying to see if you've got
the look."

Dreading an explanation but still oddly curious, Motoko couldn't help
herself from asking, "The look?"

"You know, the look of a woman who has become a woman," Kitsune said,
winking. "So, have you and Keitaro... you know..."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she protested, but from the
blush creeping across her face, it was clear that she did.

"Keitaro's too much of a gentleman to talk about it, but he's been
awfully cheerful today. Last night... did you make him a man?" Kitsune
asked, that same sly smile creeping across her face.

Motoko was definitely blushing. "I... no... we haven't..."

Kitsune nodded, her smile becoming wistful. "Oh, well, then." She
sighed and stretched, relaxing with several loud pops of her back. "I
guess I'll just have to find someone else to live vicariously through."

For a few long moments, silence reigned. Then, Motoko finally asked a
question which had been bugging her for a while. "If we... were to
decide to do... that... umm..." she tried desperately to phrase her
question, "how, exactly... you know... does it work?"

Kitsune laughed, but realized from the look on Motoko's face that she
was serious. She'd certainly figured that Motoko's knowledge of men
wasn't encyclopedic, but not to know something so elementary was
unexpected. "Well, it's... well... complicated."

After a while, Kitsune explained the basics with as few hand gestures as
possible. Which is to say quite a few, considering her definition of
the basics was far more than Motoko really needed to know. Motoko's
face could not have possible gotten redder by the time it was all over.

***

Keitaro, relaxing in the men's bath as best he could, heard female
voices drifting up from the hot spring below. He didn't try to listen
in, but it was hard not to, particularly when he realized his wife was
one of the two talking. This, in and of itself, wasn't very surprising.
Motoko had filled him in on her schedule, and it was certainly about the
right time for her late afternoon break. Kitsune's voice was also not
out of place, considering he had parted ways with her just ten minutes
before.

They had spent the most of the day seeing to the shopping and less than
physical chores. Kitsune was more than happy to come along, though any
kind of real work made her break out in hives. She did help, in the
end, but it was only to ensure the safety of the sake.

Now, however, she was conversing with his wife about a topic that very
nearly gave him a nose bleed. //Does this mean Motoko wants to...// he
wondered with wide eyes. He craned his head forward but didn't dare go
to the railing for a better listening position. The inevitable fall
would have set his leg back a good deal in healing time.

Instead, he concentrated on getting really clean, just in case.

***

Two days didn't seem enough time, Keitaro kept telling himself. Letting
it go longer didn't seem like a good option, but neither did doing it
now. He just wanted as much of his life back to normal as possible.

He sighed deeply as he stood before the closed doorway, leaning heavily
on his crutches. //Best to get it over with. Let her know I'm still a
friend.//

He knocked, but there was no answer. After a few moments, he cautiously
peeked inside, but the room was empty. Sighing he closed the door and
hobbled away down the hall. He would still have to talk to her, but for
now, at least, it could wait.

***

Though it was dark by the time she got home, Motoko still knew that
there was much more to be done before bed. She grabbed a scant meal of
leftovers from the kitchen and found her husband in his rooms, studying.
He didn't see her as she came in, and she took a moment to watch him,
smiling faintly.

The conversation with Kitsune earlier had left her a little bit
frightened by the male sex in general, in a way she hadn't been even as
a child. But the thought of doing some stuff, like the kissing, didn't
seem very scary.

He realized that she was there at approximately that point, and she
quickly hid her smile. The soak in the hot spring had done wonders for
her injured leg, and she barely even limped as she crossed the room to
sit adjacent to him at the table.

"Ah, I didn't hear you come in," he said with a sheepish smile.
"Welcome home."

She smiled back at him much the same way. "Are you ready for a lesson?
We can cover the basics of meditation before bedtime, I believe. It is
a wonderful relaxation tool."

For some reason, Keitaro gulped before answering, "Sure, just let me put
this stuff away." He did so and the table was moved aside. Slowly and
carefully, she instructed him in how to breath and how to sit, something
made complicated by his broken leg.

Eventually, he seemed to have the basic ideas down and Motoko decided he
had progressed enough for one day. They prepared for bed, and soon the
lights were out.

In the darkness, Motoko could hear her husband breath and knew that he
was still awake as well. She was too frightened to sleep, and his
wakefulness only made her heart race faster. //What am I thinking?
He's not been a pervert for a whole two days, why would he start
today?//

She relaxed a little bit at the thought, but some part of her seemed
disappointed. She was still terrified of some of the things Kitsune had
been talking about, particularly the one involving the policeman's
uniform and the whipped cream, but the basics seemed almost tantalizing.
It was with a little bit of surprise that she realized she was actually
turned on. It certainly wasn't a sensation she was accustomed to, but
she knew her body well enough to recognize the signs. //Is it his
scent?// she wondered, inhaling deeply. Keitaro didn't have an overly
manly scent, but it wasn't feminine, either. Her mind slowly went
through the possible sources of her arousal, but she hadn't progressed
much farther than the sound of his breathing when he shifted to face her
in the darkness.

Enough light existed for her to distinguish his eyes from the hazy
outline of his head, but nothing more than that. "Motoko... are you
asleep?" he asked softly.

"N-no, Keitaro..." she could feel her tongue grow thicker as she spoke,
in an apparent attempt to silence her.

"I... I just want to thank you. You've been very patient with me... you
know and my leg and all."

She gulped, excessively aware of the warmth of his breath as he spoke.
"T-thank you..."

For a few long seconds there was silence in the room. //Why am I so
nervous?// she asked herself. //I've already agreed to bear his
children... so why don't we just... you know...// She couldn't bring
herself to delve into the details, even in a thought.

Tentatively, she reached out one hand and fumbled for a moment before
she placed it on his chest. Keitaro stiffened a little in surprise, but
didn't try to stop her. After a few seconds, one of his hands came up
to rest lightly on the other side of hers. //I can almost feel his
heart beat... it's nice...//

//Why doesn't he just kiss me?// she wondered, but her brain was several
seconds behind
the rest of her body and she realized that he was. Shortly after she
had made the first move, he had moved toward her and pressed his lips
against hers.

At first, she almost reflexively tried to push him away, but when he
retreated a little in apparent fear that he had over stepped their
boundaries, she pursued him, kissing him back almost hungrily.

From that point on, it was almost as if Motoko were two people. One was
busy kissing Keitaro while the other watched in stunned silence. The
watching part managed to exert enough control to make sure things stayed
strictly clothes on and above the waist, but that was all she could
manage. Keitaro, for his part, seemed perfectly content to keep it that
way, and they continued their make out session for a while before the
fatigue of the day finally settled in over them.

They fell asleep, Motoko curled up in the crook of Keitaro's arm, though
much of the night had already been spent.

END

Author's Notes: This fic is, as much as anything else, an exercise in
writing things I normally don't write. Right now, the biggest problem
this fic is facing is a lack of proper conflict. I’m trying to decide
what kind of conflict I can introduce and also desperately trying to
talk myself out of doing a certain romantic entanglement side story.

Ideas? Suggestions? C & C? Email me at fireangel37@yahoo.com or
ffml_tim@yahoo.com. Notes of any sort welcome!

************************************************** ********************

Then To Live As a Woman
The Second Day: Other Viewpoints
A Love Hina Fanfic
Tim Williams (ffml_tim@yahoo.com or fireangel37@yahoo.com)

All characters and settings are copyright Ken Akamatsu, and others.
Divergence from manga #74 (Volume 9) or anime episode 25. Fairly
spoiler-ridden if you haven't seen or read that far, but not too badly
so. This part follows TTLAaW: The Second Day and contains viewpoints
other than Motoko's. Keitaro's views appear in both stories, since his
roll in the other is relatively minor. This chapter could actually be
merged with the first part of The Second Day, if so desired, but I'll
leave it separate for now.

I expect at least some hate mail about this one ;) You will see why.

+++

Outside, the landscape between Tokyo and Kyoto slowly slid past the
train. Though Naru had taken the trip just the week before, it still
drew her attention and kept her from having to converse with anyone.

//Why am I doing this?// she wondered for perhaps the tenth time. She
glanced at her traveling companion and sighed. //She's grown up so
much... I guess I don't have to watch over her if I don't want to./

Somewhere deep inside, though, she felt that she needed to be on this
trip for her own sake as well as Shinobu's. Otherwise, she would have
tried harder to convince the younger girl not to make her "voyage of
healing". She grinned humorlessly at the thought. //I took one of
these a bit over a year ago, though that jerk had to follow me...//

Grumbling, she banished thoughts of Keitaro from her mind. Whatever had
been between them was gone now. It had to be. //If I had only told
him... but I didn't. And now it's too late.// She grimaced. //Motoko
seems okay with it, so I have to be okay with it, too.//

The armrest of the seat creaked alarmingly, and she realized she had
almost ripped it apart, so tightly was she gripping it. She let go and
shook her hand which decided to cramp after the effort. With some
effort, she managed to relax a little. //I should be back in Hinata...
I still have to worry about classes.// She glanced at the other girl.
//Of course, so does she.//

Naru had been making herself scarce around the Hinatasou ever since the
wedding. She couldn't really yell at Keitaro for it, since it was her
own fault as much as his. If she'd declared her feelings, as murky as
they were, he might not have agreed to play along with Motoko's ruse in
the first place. Well, probably not. He had a way of getting drawn
into damaging scenarios through no real fault of his own.

In any case, there was nothing that could be done about it. She had
known Motoko for years and didn't want to so something to hurt her.
Motoko hadn't meant to steal "her man" as it were. At least, she didn't
think it had been her intention. The girl had put on so many different
personalities in the last few days that Naru was beginning to wonder if
there hadn't been something between then before the fight, buried deep
down. Maybe she had subconsciously thrown the fight... //No, not
Motoko.//

As much as she wanted to, she couldn't bring herself to pound Keitaro.
It would certainly make her feel better, but it wasn't her place to
administer a beating to him anymore. If he needed it, that would fall
to his wife, and intruding would be rude, if not outright insulting.
Certainly, she was too upset about the whole ordeal to let it go and act
like nothing had happened, so that left only a policy of strict
avoidance.

She could understand exactly what Shinobu was going through, though it
was probably more like her experience with Seta than her experience with
Keitaro. In either case, she had known the younger girl's feelings
almost from the onset. It hadn't stopped her from engaging in the
bizarre courtship she had shared with Keitaro, but she had known and
tried to minimize the damage.

Now, however, it was too late to minimize anything. The only thing left
was cleanup.

At first, she had both thought Keitaro and Motoko would wake up and just
get the marriage annulled or something, but the day after the wedding
when she'd come home, Naru had actually seen them smiling at each other.
That's when she knew that whatever was going on wasn't likely to just
fix itself. Unless she wanted to actively attempt to break up her
friends' marriage, she had no choice but to accept it.

Shinobu had realized much the same thing, of course, and had wanted to
leave the Hinatasou completely and go back live with her parents.
Knowing that Shinobu's family situation was not something she wanted to
return to, Naru had finally convinced her to stay, but the girl still
wanted to get away from the "happy couple" for a while and forget about
her heartbreak. Well, she didn't say so in so many words, but Naru was
feeling much the same way and could read between the lines.

Which is why Naru wasn't at all surprised to find Shinobu sneaking out
of the Hinatasou early Saturday morning with a traveling pack on her
back. Almost on impulse, Naru convinced her to wait long enough for her
to gather some of her won things and accompany her. After her last
travel fiasco, Shinobu seemed more than happy to have someone along for
the ride, though she was a little surprised that Naru was offering.
Naru, for her part, wasn't convinced that she was doing something even
remotely sane, but there seemed little point to staying in Tokyo. She
certainly hadn't been able to concentrate on her studies the day before,
and the outlook for the next week didn't seem much better.

//Besides,// she told herself. //I have to watch out for the heart of a
young maiden.// Some fragment of her mind softly added, //Do you mean
Shinobu or yourself?// She pushed it aside. Her own heartbreak wasn't
something she was denying. It just wasn't something she wanted to
linger on.

At least, she thought it was heartbreak. She hadn't been sure what she
felt for Keitaro before the wedding and what she felt now was even more
confusing. On one hand, she had felt a certain thrill when he'd told
her he loved her, but she didn't want to ruin one of the best
friendships she had ever had. On the other hand, with the wedding
fiasco, she wasn't sure if he still felt the way he had claimed, or if
he had ever felt that way. It was all very confusing.

Sighing, she sat back in her seat. //This is supposed to be a trip of
healing, not of mopping about and regretting reality.//

She looked at Shinobu and, when the other girl noticed her gaze, gave
her a friendly smile. Before Keitaro had come to the Hinatasou, the
girl had looked up to her as something of a big sister, though it was a
relationship which had faded quite a bit in the intervening time. Naru
wasn't sure she even resembled the idealistic high school student she'd
been two years before, and Shinobu definitely didn't act like the meek
and uncertain child who had first come to the Hinatasou.

They'd found a common bond in family troubles and grown into fast
friends. Of course, the only "normal" girls living in the Hinatasou
were her, Naru, and Kitsune. Motoko and Su had been there a while, as
well, but neither of them really fit the mold of a normal girl. Of
course, Kitsune had her idiosyncrasies as well, but she was still much
more normal than the other two girls.

Shinobu returned the smile, though it was clear there was a lot on her
mind. The two just watched each other for several seconds before
Shinobu finally broke the silence. "Thank you for coming along. I
haven't had the best luck with travel in the past."

Naru nodded, having gleaned the details of Shinobu's cross-country tour
with Su the year before. She offered a reassuring grin. "Me either,
really... but I was in Kyoto just last week, so I think I remember how
to get there." She fell silent for a few minutes, but decided now was
as good a time as any to ask the question which had been bugging her
since that morning. "Why Kyoto, though?"

"I..." Shinobu trailed off, and spent a moment looking through the
windows on the far side of the train before answering. "I don't know,
exactly. Maybe... Maybe we can visit Tsuruko and find out what this is
all really about. Maybe it's all just some sort of test or
something..."

Naru shook her head sadly. "We can visit her, but I'm afraid that she
seemed as serious as Death itself about the marriage. I... I think
Keitaro went through with the whole thing as much out of fear of her as
anything else." The why of the whole marriage thing had been weighing
on her own mind, as well. Motoko did it because of the whole honor
thing and she could understand that. Keitaro, though... well, he'd
always valued his word, but that didn't stop him from breaking it on
occasion. If he really didn't want to do it, then she couldn't come up
with a reason why he would have.

That only left the obvious conclusion that he didn't not want to do it.
Or rather, he did want to do it. //Could his feelings really change so
much in just a couple of months? Did he really mean it in the first
place?// She grimaced, and Shinobu apparently noticed.

"I... Naru-senpai, I know that you l-like Keitaro," she pause, her face
showing a blush at the mention of "liking" someone, though she quite
implied love.

//So innocent... was I ever like that?// Naru wondered, but she knew the
answer. //Yes, with Seta. Though I don't think he ever even
noticed...// "Shinobu, I know you like him as well." The younger
girl's blush deepened visibly at the suggestion. "Which is why we're
going to be his friends, no matter who he is married to."

It was the decision she had finally reached with herself, and she was
fairly sure that Shinobu would agree. Naru hadn't gone beyond "friend"
with Keitaro because she was afraid of messing up their friendship by
becoming romantically involved. With that not possible, it seemed
logical that their "friend" relationship would be more secure than ever.

Of course, logic doesn't matter much in the affairs of the human heart
and with the "danger" of a relationship with Keitaro not so obvious,
other feelings had surfaced.

***

"Do you really need this many, Kitsune?" Keitaro asked, the basket in
his arms stacked precariously high with bottles of sake. She'd been
suspiciously eager to help him with the shopping and now he could see
why.

"Your wife emptied my entire stash, so it's only fair that you help me
restock." She added another bottle to the stack and it teetered
precipitously. "Besides, with Motoko for a wife, you're probably going
to need it as much as I am."

Keitaro blushed. "She's not so bad..."

//Of course she isn't,// Mitsune thought, bitterly. //Anyone would be
better than me.//

Kitsune had been amazed at how well Motoko and Keitaro were getting
along the night before and that morning. She'd been sure they were
destined for disaster after the first night, but the mysterious package
the day before seemed to have turned things around.

//He's settling down with her,// she decided. She was happy that they'd
decided not to make each other miserable, but something about it irked
her. It hadn't been a month since she'd resigned herself to watching
Keitaro be in love with someone else, but she had expected that person
to be and remain Naru. She was used to that. This was... different.

She'd as good as confessed an interest in him a month before, but
Keitaro was a little on the dense side about such things, it seemed.
She certainly wasn't going to try to force something that wasn't there,
and she knew enough to stay out of other people's relationships.
Meddling had burned her more than once in the past. Better to slip into
"Kitsune" mode and let her sensitive side sleep for a while.

//Is it crazy to be two people?// she'd always wondered. She was, in a
very real way, split. Kono Mitsune was her real self, but she'd long
ago developed another persona behind which to live. Kitsune was selfish
and lazy, mischievous and sultry. What she wasn't was lonely, which was
an emotion that Mitsune held a lot of.

Living in Naru's romantic shadow throughout high school had been bad
enough, but even afterward, it had kept on. Keitaro wasn't the first
guy she'd liked who had the hots for Naru, but he'd been one of the
best. While Mitsune might have been pining away for him, though,
Kitsune was too busy being his friend. //There are other fish in the
sea,// the fox in her said, and Mitsune did her best to believe her,
though it was getting a little ridiculous.

Of course, it would help if she ever met available men. Aside from
Keitaro, who no longer counted, the only guys she'd talked to more than
once in the last year had been Keitaro's two ronin buddies. //What were
their names again?// She honestly couldn't remember.

She'd had some hopes for Keitaro. The way Naru had been treating him
matched her usual "let them wait to be dumped" pattern, but she should
have known better. She could have had him when he was a ronin, but
almost the second his life takes a meaningful term, he's not available.
In any case, he was someone she could talk to, and with him off the
market, there wasn't much tension there of a sexual nature, which made
some things easier to talk about.

They finished the shopping and were on the way back to the Hinatasou
before they really started talking again. "Not all that bad, you say.
So she... and you..." she said with a sly smile, leaning a bit closer to
him. Keitaro was her friend, but she still enjoyed getting a rise out
of him.

"Wha... Kitsune!" Keitaro blushed and looked around to make sure that
they were relatively alone. "N-nothing like that."

She smiled, "Oh, don't worry, I'll have a word with her tonight and see
why she's holding out on you." Some part of her was thrilled when he
started sputtering and protesting. Mitsune watched Kitsune work with
amazement. Her alter-ego was certainly a mistress of chaos when she
wanted to be.

Keitaro was certainly a virgin. She didn't even need an admission to
know that. He just carried himself that way. //I should know... I've
never... done that, either,// Mitsune admitted to herself. Kitsune
certainly made her seem a "woman of experience" though it was far from
the truth.

//I'm a sham.// Mitsune accused her self.

Kitsune simply offered her a mental grin grinned and continued her
gentle ribbing of her traveling companion. //But a sham who knows how
to enjoy herself.//

***

The train terminal far behind them, Naru and Shinobu wandered the
streets of Kyoto aimlessly. Ostensibly, they were taking in the sights,
but the two of them spent most of their time drifting along, locked away
with their thoughts.

Shinobu was desperately trying to keep from thinking about Keitaro and
not succeeding. Their first meeting had involved him exposing himself
to her, lying about who he was, and generally providing most of her
"firsts" with the male sex. In a lot of ways, he was like her boyfriend
already, but in others he was like a big brother. She'd hoped that he
would come to see her as a woman. She'd even been entertaining a dream
of going to Toudai after him... but it all seemed pointless now.

She hadn't realized how much of her life and self had been built around
him until he was gone from her. Well, he wasn't gone, really. She
could still have him as a "big brother", but never as anything more.

Motoko was a lot like a big sister to her, even more than Naru, and she
couldn't bring herself to get between them. Naru had lost something of
her saintliness since Keitaro had arrived and become a rival as much as
anything else, but Motoko had always remained aloof from that. Which is
why it stung so much that she had been the one to "win".

There was more than just that behind her flight from the Hinatasou,
though. Su's method of comforting her had left her a little more than
shaken, and considerably more confused than upset. What had happened
had been... enjoyable, but it certainly wasn't what she had envisioned
for her first time. For that matter, it wasn't something she'd ever
thought she would ever try. Ever.

It had happened, though, and she hadn't fought to stop it. She'd been
upset, and it certainly helped to put things into perspective. If her
intentions hadn't been so noble, Shinobu would have felt violated, but
for some reason she didn't. Not for the first time, she wondered
exactly what country her friend was from.

"Shinobu?" Naru asked her, apparently having said something else she
missed.

"Sorry..." She traced back over what had been said to her and thought
she had it. "Yes, beefbowl is fine."

Neither of them had a positive flow of funds, and travel was expensive.
They weren't here for the cuisine, anyway. They were here to buy
themselves time to think about everything that had happened and come to
terms with it. Shinobu was finding that she had more things to come to
terms with than she'd thought.

***

Keitaro sighed as he finished putting away the shopping. Kitsune was a
good friend to talk to, but she wasn't much for helping out with chores.
Unless part of those chores entailed him purchasing a large amount of
sake for her consumption.

Not that he could necessarily complain. He'd drank his fair share of
her stash over the last few days. Married life was harder than it
looked, particularly when it entailed so many other adjustments. And
she was a great help to him, even if it were only moral support.

A glance at the time showed that there was still plenty of time to have
a drink before anyone came drifting home. He would likely need to
prepare dinner for himself, Kitsune, and Suu and a cold meal for Motoko
since she wouldn't be able to eat till late, most likely. Naru and
Shinobu had been strangely absent for the last couple of days, though it
was likely just because they were avoiding him.

He sighed and wandered off to get that drink.

***

The warm waters of the furo were not quite as invigorating as those of a
hot spring, but Naru hadn't wanted to risk another mixed bath incident
and hadn't sought out an inn with the capacity. The small inn was
certainly quaint and inexpensive, which fit their priorities fairly
well. It was also about half way between Kyoto proper and the mountain
region that held the Shinmeiryuu dojo.

Shinobu was more than a little aware of Naru's proximity in the smaller
bath. Her thoughts drifted to the night before, and she blushed far
deeper than the heat of the bath could account for. She'd never really
looked at other women in "that way" before, but the knowledge of what
she'd done and how good it had felt made those thoughts all too easy to
think.

//At least I'm not pining after Keitaro,// some part of her mind
offered. She tried to cover herself, almost subconsciously. She'd
never been embarrassed to be nude in front of another female before,
either, but that seemed to be something else that had changed. Naru
hadn't gained any modesty or concern for such exposure, though, and that
was making it even worse.

"We'll go up into the mountains to find Tsuruko tomorrow, if you still
want to," Naru was saying.

Shinobu nodded and hoped feverishly that Naru would take her nervousness
as anxiety over the whole Keitaro affair. "I-I don't know if it'll h-
help... but we can decide in the morning."

//Someone please explain to me why I spent yesterday morning crying
about a man and now I can't keep from looking at Naru's breasts...// she
asked herself. Whatever was going on, she was certain that her
confusion was only going to get worse.

***

"I think Motoko wants to... you know..."

Keitaro blushed deeply. He'd overheard Kitsune and Motoko talking in
the hot springs and knew exactly what she was currently referring to.
"N-no... she... it's too soon..."

Kitsune giggled girlishly. "Too soon? Ye're married now." She gave
him a wink. "So, do you know what to do?"

Keitaro blushed and nodded nervously. //Mostly... the important
bits...// Of course, that didn't stop Kitsune from embarrassing him
further with bits and pieces of advice gleaned from romance novels and
trashy television dramas.

***

Shinobu rested on the smooth fabric of her futon, all too aware of
Naru's presence just feet away. //What is happening to me?// she
wondered. //What if I'm really... you know...// She couldn't even
bring herself to complete the thought.

She certainly liked Naru, but she'd thought it was as a friend. Had it
really been as something else she just hadn't recognized? Had she
really been in love with Keitaro or was she just wanting to BE Keitaro?

//Su...// she thought of the foreign girl and sighed. Of all of the
complications in her life, Su was as often the source as not. Though Su
had certainly opened her eyes to something, she wasn't the source of
this new taboo fixation. //Why not?//

//If I'm thinking about someone else that way... does that mean I've
always been that way?// She shivered. Fortunately, Su hadn't attached
any huge emotional import to the act. At least, she didn't think she
had. Su was like a sister to her, which made the whole thing a bit
creepy, but apparently Su's definition of what was appropriate for
family to do for and to each other was vastly different from hers.

The rhythmic breathing coming from the nearby futon did nothing to calm
her nerves. Finally, she drifted off to a sleep filled with soft, warm
touching, though there were more feminine curves in the dream than she
would have expected.

END

Author's notes: Gee, I certainly do a lot of thoughts in these fics.
Of course, I believe that's because most of the conflict is internal.
The intention of this chapter is to show a little bit of what's going on
outside of the Keitaro/Motoko relationship though it is still very much
the center of the story. The Keitaro/Kitsune bits are thrown in to
break up the ceaseless narration of the Naru/Shinobu side.

I expect hate mail about this, by the way ;) But that's half the fun in
writing in odd relationships.




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