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JLee100441@aol.com
11th July 2004, 07:00 PM
I trying out a new format for sending stories; as well as added on some
suggested changes.

James

Osaka Vs Godzilla

By: James Lee


It was a warm spring day, and everyone was sitting in the classroom waiting
for Miss Yukari to arrive. Suddenly Chiyo burst into the room.

“It’s so horrible!”

“W-What is it Chiyo-chan?” asked Yomi.
"Godzilla just came out of Tokyo Bay while the teacher was driving to
school. He hit Miss Yukari’s car with his radioactive breath. There’s nothing
left but four melted tires!” {She almost got away to.}
For a moment, the class just looked at the 11 year old. Finally Kagura
spoke.
“Okay, so what’s so horrible?”
“Now he’s coming this way,” said Chiyo.
“Oh my god!”
“He’ll kill us AAALLLL!”
“AAAAHHHHHhhhh! I hate Godzilla!”
“Everybody stay calm.” Yelled Tomo. “I know exactly what to do.”
“Huh?” said several people at once. Looking very proud of herself, Tomo
pointed to the bottom of her desk.
“We must all duck and cover, under our desk.”
“You idiot!” Yelled Yomi. “That won’t help if the school is flattened
and burned down. We’ve got to evacuate.”
“No, we duck and cover!”
“Evacuate!”
“DUCK AND COVER!!”
The two girls stopped yelling at the sound of an impact. When there was
another impact, the entire class became very quit. For a moment there was
nothing but silence.
“M-Maybe he’s passing us by,” said a nervous Kaorin as she clutched onto
Sakaki.
Suddenly there was a loud impact that caused the furniture to jump.”
“Oh no, he’s headed right at us!” Mass panic ensued, as students started
screaming and running in all directions.
“All right! This is my moment to shine,” said Osaka, who up till now, had
stayed quite and calm. Donning her Ultra-man mask, she walked towards the
window.
“Osaka what are do…OSAKA!” screamed Chiyo as her friend jumped out the
window. Rushing up to the window, the girl peeked over, dreading what she might
see. Osaka however, had landed perfectly on her two feet. She then did several
cool Ultra-man poses. Standing in the school courtyard, Ultra-Osaka was ready
for action!
Suddenly a scaly 900 and a half double wide foot came down on top of
Osaka, turning her into so much red goo.

The End

Epilogue

“HOLY FREAKING CRAP!!” screamed Osaka as she bolted up from her desk.
Yukari, who happened to be standing next to her jumped in fright. Osaka then
started looking around franticly. “W-Where’s Godzilla?”
Hearing this, Yukari growled while rolling up the text book she was
holding. “Damn it Osaka! How many times do I have to tell you not to fall asleep!”
(WHACK!!)


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Lawrence Chu
13th July 2004, 02:00 PM
I just wanted to check to see if I was the only one seeing some insane
encoding:

> “It’s so horrible!”
>
> “W-What is it Chiyo-chan?” asked Yomi.
> "Godzilla just came out of Tokyo Bay while the teacher was driving to
> school. He hit Miss Yukari’s car with his radioactive breath. There’s
nothing
> left but four melted tires!” {She almost got away to.}

I'm seeing, instead of opening quotes, an A-circumflex, a Euro sign, and an
oe-type thingy.

Just out of curiosity, James, were you using MS Word to type this up? If
so, you may want to turn off "Smart quotes," because it really messes up
when you've got people like me who check their e-mails in text-only...

Lawrence


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DB Sommer
2nd August 2004, 10:00 PM
Well, generally speaking, if it's Azumanga, there's a reasonable chance I'll
look it over.

JLee100441@aol.com wrote:

>
>
> Osaka Vs Godzilla
>
> By: James Lee
>
>
> It was a warm spring day, and everyone was sitting in the classroom
waiting
> for Miss Yukari to arrive. Suddenly Chiyo burst into the room.
>
> ?oIt?Ts so horrible!?

Agh! Bad characters.

>
> ?oW-What is it Chiyo-chan?? asked Yomi.
> "Godzilla just came out of Tokyo Bay while the teacher was driving to
> school. He hit Miss Yukari?Ts car with his radioactive breath. There?Ts
nothing
> left but four melted tires!? {She almost got away to.
> For a moment, the class just looked at the 11 year old. Finally Kagura
> spoke.
> ?oOkay, so what?Ts so horrible??

Hmm. Joke is definitely flat to me, even for something as exaggerated as
this.

> ?oNow he?Ts coming this way,? said Chiyo.
> ?oOh my god!?
> ?oHe?Tll kill us AAALLLL!?
> ?oAAAAHHHHHhhhh! I hate Godzilla!?

Might do to have names attached to the shouts, or just say that everyone is
screaming.

> ?oEverybody stay calm.? Yelled Tomo. ?oI know exactly what to
do.?
> ?oHuh?? said several people at once. Looking very proud of herself,
Tomo
> pointed to the bottom of her desk.
> ?oWe must all duck and cover, under our desk.?
> ?oYou idiot!? Yelled Yomi. ?oThat won?Tt help if the school is
flattened
> and burned down. We?Tve got to evacuate.?
> ?oNo, we duck and cover!?
> ?oEvacuate!?
> ?oDUCK AND COVER!!?

Well, i can see them arguing about it.

> ?oAll right! This is my moment to shine,? said Osaka, who up till
now, had
> stayed quite and calm. Donning her Ultra-man mask, she walked towards the
> window.

Obviously a dream by her. UltraOsaka isn't entirely bad, depending on what
you do with it.

> The End
>
> Epilogue
>
> ?oHOLY FREAKING CRAP!!? screamed Osaka

I really don't see her shouting. She can't shout loud even when she tries.
Now swear that I can remember.

as she bolted up from her desk.
> Yukari, who happened to be standing next to her jumped in fright. Osaka
then
> started looking around franticly. ?oW-Where?Ts Godzilla??
> Hearing this, Yukari growled while rolling up the text book she was
> holding. ?oDamn it Osaka! How many times do I have to tell you not to
fall asleep!?
> (WHACK!!)

And this punchline falls flat as well. Sorry, I can't say this really struck
me as funny anywhere, except the part with Yomi and Tomo arguing.

DB Sommer



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