Juho Saarikko
11th March 2004, 10:00 PM
Have to admit, I didn't think it was possible to write an angstfic about
Excel. Next you know, we'll have darkfics of Puni Puni Poemi ;)...
And to remember, that the poor Menchi actually got away during the flood,
but was recaptured...
On Sun, 07 Mar 2004 12:41:57 -0800, Sara Jaye wrote:
> "Story of my life"
> by Sara Jaye
>
> My first Excel Saga fanfic! XD This was written on a whim during
> creative writing class...it's a bit darker than usual for an ES fic, but
> the humor is still there. Sorta. ^_^;
>
> [Excel Saga belongs to Rikudo Koshi. I'm just borrowing the characters for
> a while.]
>
> ~
>
> Cold. Dark. Empty.
>
> My life is meaningless. I'm not loved, only seen as a piece of meat. Their
> final resort if all else fails.
>
> I sit alone all day in their apartment. I'm not allowed to exercise,
> because it "makes me too stringy". I try to escape, but I'm too weak to
> open the door.
>
> The sight of a cooking utensil, stove, or frying pan scares me. The sound
> of her voice calling my name sends shivers down my spine.
>
> Her.
>
> That crazy, borderline psychopathic witch who can barely walk without
> falling on her face! She found me, chased me down, caught me, and said the
> words that will haunt me until the end:
>
> "YOU will be my dinner!"
>
> Not her pet. Not her cute, cuddly little friend. Not even the paper fetcher
> and bringer of pipe and slippers.
>
> Her dinner. Her and her walking invalid friend's emergency food supply.
> Their hungry stares, crazy eyes, watering mouths. There's no escape.
>
> I'm crying now. I hate this, why does it have to be this way?
>
> I want out, dammit!
>
> "MENNNNCHIIIII! We're home!"
>
> To quote the unfortunate foreign man, NOOOOOOOO!
>
> I run around in circles, trying to find a hiding place before she sees me.
> Maybe she and her friend actually got to eat today and have no use for me
> after all! Even if only for one more day, escaping that stupid frying pan
> would make me so happy.
>
> "There you are!"
>
> Too late! She found me!
>
> "Menchii! You shouldn't be running around like that, it'll make the meat
> all stringy!" she scolds, picking me up and pinching my sides. Dear GOD,
> someone help me!
>
> "Now, you lie down and I'll go get the stove ready!"
>
> No! I don't wanna be eaten!
>
> "I'll get the spices," the weaker girl says.
>
> ARGH!!
>
> I wish I had hands and a very large sack. Then, I could rob a supermarket
> and get these girls REAL food, so they'd stop trying to cook me!
>
> But, I can't do that.
>
> I'm trapped. Trapped as their emergency food supply.
>
> This SUCKS!
>
> ~End~
>
> Poor Menchi. Always just manages to escape being eaten at the last
> minute. XD
Excel. Next you know, we'll have darkfics of Puni Puni Poemi ;)...
And to remember, that the poor Menchi actually got away during the flood,
but was recaptured...
On Sun, 07 Mar 2004 12:41:57 -0800, Sara Jaye wrote:
> "Story of my life"
> by Sara Jaye
>
> My first Excel Saga fanfic! XD This was written on a whim during
> creative writing class...it's a bit darker than usual for an ES fic, but
> the humor is still there. Sorta. ^_^;
>
> [Excel Saga belongs to Rikudo Koshi. I'm just borrowing the characters for
> a while.]
>
> ~
>
> Cold. Dark. Empty.
>
> My life is meaningless. I'm not loved, only seen as a piece of meat. Their
> final resort if all else fails.
>
> I sit alone all day in their apartment. I'm not allowed to exercise,
> because it "makes me too stringy". I try to escape, but I'm too weak to
> open the door.
>
> The sight of a cooking utensil, stove, or frying pan scares me. The sound
> of her voice calling my name sends shivers down my spine.
>
> Her.
>
> That crazy, borderline psychopathic witch who can barely walk without
> falling on her face! She found me, chased me down, caught me, and said the
> words that will haunt me until the end:
>
> "YOU will be my dinner!"
>
> Not her pet. Not her cute, cuddly little friend. Not even the paper fetcher
> and bringer of pipe and slippers.
>
> Her dinner. Her and her walking invalid friend's emergency food supply.
> Their hungry stares, crazy eyes, watering mouths. There's no escape.
>
> I'm crying now. I hate this, why does it have to be this way?
>
> I want out, dammit!
>
> "MENNNNCHIIIII! We're home!"
>
> To quote the unfortunate foreign man, NOOOOOOOO!
>
> I run around in circles, trying to find a hiding place before she sees me.
> Maybe she and her friend actually got to eat today and have no use for me
> after all! Even if only for one more day, escaping that stupid frying pan
> would make me so happy.
>
> "There you are!"
>
> Too late! She found me!
>
> "Menchii! You shouldn't be running around like that, it'll make the meat
> all stringy!" she scolds, picking me up and pinching my sides. Dear GOD,
> someone help me!
>
> "Now, you lie down and I'll go get the stove ready!"
>
> No! I don't wanna be eaten!
>
> "I'll get the spices," the weaker girl says.
>
> ARGH!!
>
> I wish I had hands and a very large sack. Then, I could rob a supermarket
> and get these girls REAL food, so they'd stop trying to cook me!
>
> But, I can't do that.
>
> I'm trapped. Trapped as their emergency food supply.
>
> This SUCKS!
>
> ~End~
>
> Poor Menchi. Always just manages to escape being eaten at the last
> minute. XD