Nidoking
25th May 2003, 09:00 PM
/me checks... yep, it's been far too long since the last chapter of this
story came out. Mark it down to 50% laziness, 50% waiting for prereader
responses. I plan to start on the next chapter of this story tonight,
but as the rewrites begin to uproot the story more and more completely
with each chapter, who knows how long it will take to finish? Suffice it
to say, I WILL finish rewriting this story, most likely before we see
the end of GTP. As always, comments are welcome and will certainly be
taken into consideration for inclusion in the web drafts and the FF.net
entries... if I ever get around to publishing this story there. Until
then, you can find the previous chapters on my webpage as always, at
http://nidoking.anifics.com/NewChoice.html (and hopefully, a chapter
guide to come soon in case you want to quickly refresh your memory on
what's happened so far. See the 52 Curses main page for an idea of what
I mean.)
Notable changes in this chapter - a much better treatment of the voodoo
doll, which should continue in future Gos scenes; much more
in-characterness for Kuno, including some obfuscation on my part in the
final scene with Ranma (^_^); and I wrote out Tsubasa, which caused the
mood of the Ucchan's scene to undergo a complete reversal, which should
make Ukyo's scenes over the next few chapters quite interesting. Tsubasa
really contributed nothing to the story except for the easily discarded
phone gag in chapter 17, so he's not a loss. And before the animephobes
say anything about Sasuke... that was not an invitation. This is, and
has always been, anime fanfiction. That said, enjoy!
Ranma 1/2 -- A Deadly Choice
Chapter 5: A Recipe for Love is an Invitation for Disaster
Gosunkugi beamed at the lifelike doll in his hands. In sharp
contrast to the bundles of straw he normally produced, this was a
masterpiece of craftsmanship. The cloth had exactly the same texture as
human skin, albeit a bit smooth, which he felt was only appropriate for
the subject. The doll's clothes could have been an authentic Furinkan
High girls' uniform after a nasty encounter with a shrinking ray, and
the perfect lengthened bowl cut of dark hair framed a face that the
ancient dollmakers would have killed for the skill to paint. And it
wasn't just because it was well-detailed, either; Akane Tendo's face in
any form was a work of art worthy of any master. He would have to
compliment her parents sometime.
But that would have to wait. Right now, there was more important
business to take care of. He tucked the doll carefully into the crook of
his arm as he pushed the ladder into position in front of the door.
Biting down on a hammer and nail, he climbed to the top of the ladder,
running over the plan again in his mind. Having created the doll from
his extensive collection of photographs had only been the first step.
His book had given the complete recipe for a successful relationship. By
hanging the doll directly above the front door, it would ensure a visit
from the one he loved. And then a white pin in its heart, combined with
a dose of his special potion, would seal her affection for him forever.
Carefully, he set the doll down on the top step and leaned on the
ladder while he readied the hammer and nail in his hands. A few sharp
raps, and the nail was buried just deep enough in the top of the
doorframe, protruding at a slight upward angle to better support its
precious burden. "And now, the final touch," he said aloud as he lifted
the doll into place, slipping the short loop of string on its back over
the head of the nail. "Now to get ready for Akane's visit!"
Before he could start to descend the ladder, the doorbell rang.
"Akane, is that you?" he asked tentatively, staring at the doll in
disbelief. It couldn't be! The magic couldn't have worked THAT quickly!
But it had. "That's right. How did you know it was me?" Akane asked
from the far side of the door. "Do you have hidden cameras out here?"
she continued after a slight nervous pause.
"Oh, no, nothing like that!" he called to her, trying to remember
what he was supposed to be doing. Oh, right. The doll and the pin. And
getting down from the ladder. He snatched the doll off the nail and
started down the ladder without looking as he readied the pin between
his fingers. Halfway down, his foot missed the step and went right
between the rungs, causing him to lose his balance and fall backwards,
pulling the ladder down on top of himself with a loud crash.
"What was that noise?" Akane asked. "Are you all right in there?"
"Just fine," Gosunkugi assured her as he pushed the ladder aside,
attempting to disentangle himself from it and stand up. "One minute,
please! I'll be right there!" He kicked free of the ladder at last and
leapt to his feet, holding the doll in one hand and the pin in the
other. His hand seemed to have warmed the pin enough that he could no
longer feel the cold metal between his fingers, but... now that he took
the time to rub his fingers together, they did feel strangely empty all
of a sudden.... He looked down, only to confirm the worst. The pin was
gone!
There was a very insistent banging on the door as Hikaru's eyes
scanned the floor, searching for the pin. It couldn't have vanished
completely. It had to be somewhere! Maybe under the ladder....
"Hikaru, what's going on in there?" asked Akane. "Do you need help
with something?"
"No!" he shouted just a bit too forcefully. He couldn't let Akane
catch him with the doll, or everything would be ruined! Thinking
quickly, he tucked the doll into the back of his pants, kicked the
ladder aside, and flung the door open. "Akane!" he cried. "What a
surprise to see -" he stopped suddenly as he noticed who was
accompanying her "- Ranma and Upperclassman Kuno..." he finished
dejectedly.
"Yeah, thrilling as always," Ranma said sarcastically. "We're not
here for a friendly visit, Gosunkugi. We've got a few questions for
you."
Gosunkugi swallowed nervously. Ranma's tone sounded harmless enough,
but nothing that he'd ever said to Gosunkugi had failed to result in far
more trouble than it was worth. "Heh heh," he chuckled. "I suppose I can
spare you a few minutes. Won't you -"
"Move aside, worm," Kuno said as he pushed Gosunkugi rudely on his
way into the house. "I have remained without long enough."
"- come in?" Gosunkugi finished unnecessarily as Ranma and Akane
followed in Kuno's footsteps.
"I hope we're not interrupting anything," said Akane. She wrinkled
her nose. "What is that smell?" she asked.
Kuno and Ranma sniffed at the air. "Yeah, something sure smells
good!" Ranma agreed.
"Good?" Akane took another sniff and nearly gagged. "What's wrong
with your nose, Ranma? It smells like a public bathroom in here!"
"I smell naught but the wondrous aroma of freshly baked
confections!" extolled Kuno. "Chocolate chip cookies, if my olfactory
sense is not lacking."
Hikaru sighed. "Yes, there are cookies in the kitchen, but...."
"Hey, I'm there!" said Ranma. He and Kuno brushed right past
Gosunkugi and made their way toward the wonderful smell of cookies fresh
out of the oven.
Hikaru sighed again. "Nothing ever goes right for me."
Akane groaned. "Boys...." She took a deep breath through her mouth,
removing a bit of the green color from her face. "I don't know how they
could possibly smell cookies in here... do you smell anything, Hikaru?
Maybe a sewer pipe burst or something."
"I don't -" he began, before he remembered where the voodoo doll was
in relation to one of the more pungent parts of his anatomy. He'd never
known any voodoo doll to convey smells to its target, but then, no other
voodoo doll had ever been as potent as the one in his pants. "Now that
you mention it," he fallaciously corrected himself, "I do notice a bit
of... stench in the air. I'd better make sure I remembered to flush the
toilet." He motioned toward the kitchen. "Why don't you go on and try
some of my cookies in the meantime? I baked them just for you."
"I'm sorry," said Akane, rubbing her stomach. "I don't think I could
possibly eat anything right now. I feel like I've just eaten a big
meal." She inhaled through her nose, coughed, and went back to
mouth-breathing again. "Not to mention the awful smell in here."
"I'll take care of that!" Hikaru promised. "Just go, get to the
kitchen and have some cookies! Please?" He instantly regretted his
insistent tone, but his entire plan revolved around Akane eating the
cookies that he'd laced with true-love potion. One bite would cause any
woman who ate it to fall instantly in love with him - and unlike the
standard love potions made popular by fictional accounts, this love
would be pure and totally free of animalistic lust. Once Akane ate one
of the cookies, she'd want nothing more than to be his girlfriend. And
thanks to the ingredients that Kodachi Kuno had provided, the potion
would have no effect on men; a precaution that he was now glad he had
taken.
Akane gave him an odd stare, but despite her suspicion, she turned
around and made her way to the kitchen. Hikaru breathed a sigh of relief
and pulled the doll out of his pants, casting about for a better place
to hide it. One of the antique African tribal masks that adorned the
walls was large enough to hold the doll comfortably, and he grabbed it
down and carefully placed the doll inside it. He was about to hang the
mask up again, concealing the incriminating effigy from prying eyes,
when his own eyes caught a glimpse of the doll for the first time since
Akane had shown up. There, protruding from the doll's belly, was the
long-sought white-headed pin.
"That explains why she's not hungry," he said as he removed the pin.
"Ah well. I feel like an idiot, but at least I found it." He pushed the
pin into the doll's heart and hung the mask in its place. The pin
wouldn't do much on its own, of course, but when combined with the
true-love potion....
Hikaru heard Akane shriek from the kitchen, and raced toward the
sound, hoping that he hadn't somehow screwed up the spell. He'd followed
the recipe to the letter, but if there had somehow been a mistake, the
results could be catastrophic. "What's going on?" he asked excitedly as
he leapt through the kitchen door.
"Those boys ate all the cookies before I could get any!" replied the
completely unharmed Akane, pointing to the pair of boys seated at the
table in front of the large plate of cookie crumbs.
"You said you didn't want any," Ranma mumbled around an oversized
mouthful of cookie.
"Well, I wasn't hungry before!" Akane shot back. "Now I am. And I
don't think it was very polite to eat all of Hikaru's cookies in the
first place."
"You said you didn't want any," Ranma repeated through the same
mouthful.
"Filthy cur," murmured Kuno. "Speaking with food in one's mouth, in
the presence of the fairer gender! Have you no shame nor etiquette?"
"The point isn't whether I want anything or not," Akane continued.
"The point is that eating all of the cookies was rude."
"I agree," said Kuno, wiping the chocolate stains from his face with
Gosunkugi's dishtowel. "You are truly a dishonorable guest, Saotome."
"And who made you guys the authorities on manners?" asked Ranma.
Hikaru cleared his throat, doing his best to convey the message
that, since his plan had failed in the most complete fashion imaginable,
he wanted the visitors out of his house as soon as possible. "Now that
you've ruined my pla- I mean, eaten my cookies, I believe you came here
for a reason?"
"Of course!" shouted Kuno, upending the table as he stood up and
drew his bokken. "Your ploy to stay my hand with food ends now! Return
my sister to me whence you have taken her!"
Hikaru screamed and fell against the kitchen wall, holding up his
arms to ward off the impending death by lumber. "What are you talking
about? I didn't take your sister anywhere!"
"Upperclassman Kuno, we're not here to accuse Hikaru of anything,"
Akane reminded him politely. "We came to ask him if he knows anything
about the demon that kidnapped your sister, remember?"
Kuno withdrew his weapon. "Ah, yes. It is so." He sat back down and
crossed his arms.
Meanwhile, Ranma stared at Akane as if seeing her for the first
time. "Is something the matter with you, Akane? Something seems strange
about you, but I can't quite put my finger on it...."
"I'm not sure what you mean, Ranma," said Akane. "Would you mind
explaining why you feel that way?"
"See, that's what I'm talking about," said Ranma. "You're being all
polite now."
Hikaru stifled a gasp. Without the influence of the true-love
potion, the pin in the heart of the Akane voodoo doll had merely
suppressed her usual anger and brought out her polite, caring side. He
had to do something to divert their attention before they realized that
he'd had something to do with the change. "What's this about Kuno's
sister?" he asked, feigning interest.
"You will address me as Upperclassman," Kuno put in automatically.
"Forget about your social status for a second and tell him about
what happened last night!" snapped Ranma.
Grudgingly, Kuno related the complete story of Kodachi's kidnap,
with helpful prods from Ranma and Akane whenever he started to embellish
the facts or insert accusations of "the demon Saotome" into his
narrative. As the facts gradually became clear, Hikaru's interest grew,
until he no longer had to pretend to be interested in the tale. In the
end, he was pressing Kuno for more detail about the black cloud demon
that had taken Ranma's form.
"Can you tell us more about it, Hikaru?" asked Akane once the
interview was finished.
"I'll see what I can find out," replied Hikaru. "There should be
some useful information in my library. I'll just have to dig around to
find the right books."
"Oh, thank you!" said Akane.
"Yeah, thanks," echoed Ranma. "We'll come back later today to find
out what you've got."
"See that you find the information we seek quickly, Gosunkugi,"
threatened Kuno, "or it will be your head."
Hikaru checked his watch. "Well, let's see. It's five minutes to
noon now, so give me about -"
"Five minutes to noon?" Ranma interrupted. "Shoot! I've gotta go!"
"Go? Go where?" asked Akane.
"I'm supposed to be at Ucchan's in five minutes!" Ranma informed her
as his feet began to slide back and forth, trying to remember the
correct sequence of positions for running. "If I'm late, she'll pound me
flatter than an okonomiyaki!"
Akane gasped. "That's not good! You'd better hurry and get over
there!"
Ranma waved a hand in front of Akane's face. "Okay, now I know
there's something wrong with you. You NEVER tell me to 'hurry and get to
Ucchan's.' It's always either 'what's wrong with MY cooking?' or 'fine,
see if I care,' or something like that."
"'Tis simple," announced Kuno. "Akane Tendo wishes to remain in my
company when we quit this dilapidated place, when at last we can be
alone in our true love!" Reaching the height of his delusion, Kuno
stretched his arms wide and turned to Akane. "Come, dearest Akane! No
longer can I bear to be separate from your -"
Akane's foot met his face abruptly. "I'm sorry, Upperclassman Kuno,
but I just don't think of you that way."
Hikaru shook his head. "Some things, even the power of voodoo can't
change," he murmured to himself.
Ranma grabbed Akane's arm. "Come on. I'm not letting you out of my
sight until we figure out exactly what's going on. You, me, Ryoga,
Shampoo, and probably a lot of other people have been acting really
weird lately, and I intend to get to the bottom of it. Maybe Ukyo'll
even help us."
"I'm sure she will," Akane agreed as he dragged her out of the room.
"She's a nice girl."
"It is bewitchment, to be sure!" shouted Kuno. "You'll not steal
Akane from me so easily, Saotome!" He stormed out of the room, shaking a
fist at Ranma while keeping a respectable distance.
Hikaru waited until the front door slammed behind his guests before
righting the kitchen table. "What a weird bunch," he said to himself as
he went to retrieve the Akane doll and prepare for another attempt at
winning her heart through voodoo.
*************************************************
Kuno hadn't followed his quarry for more than two blocks before a
strong hand gripped his shoulder, jerking him to a halt. He pulled his
bokken from his belt as he spun around to face his assailant. "Who dares
lay his hand on Tatewaki Kuno, kendo champion of Furinkan High?"
Ryoga held his hands up placatingly. "Whoa, there, big guy. I'm not
here to pick a fight."
"The fight has picked you, fool," said Kuno, pressing his blade to
Ryoga's throat. "This delay has caused me to lose sight of Akane Tendo!"
Ryoga waved dismissively. "Ah, forget her. She's not the one for
you. Now, the pigtailed girl, on the other hand...."
The bokken dug almost deep enough to draw blood as Kuno leaned
forward threateningly. "What have you done with the pigtailed girl?"
"Do you even listen before you start stabbing people?" Ryoga shot
back, trying his best to maintain his temper. "I didn't do anything to
the pigtailed girl!"
"LIES!" shouted Kuno. "Where is she? Tell me before I cut you down
where you stand!"
Ryoga casually raised an elbow and leaned on the bokken. "I thought
it was your sister who was kidnapped."
"Then you admit it!" shouted Kuno, pulling his bokken back. He
thrust the blade under Ryoga's chin again as the bandana-wearing one
stumbled. "Where is she?"
Ryoga quickly gave up trying to get Kuno to listen to reason and
instead appealed to his insanity. "I don't know, but I do know how you
can get a date with the pigtailed girl."
Kuno's bokken was in his belt before Ryoga could blink. "I'm
listening."
"Hey, I don't give information for free," Ryoga hinted.
"Very well," said Kuno, extracting a wallet from his pocket. "As
long as your fee is comparable to Nabiki Tendo's, I am willing to -"
"I'm not asking for money," Ryoga interrupted. "What I want from you
is information... and a promise."
"Tatewaki Kuno does not make promises lightly," said Kuno. "Name
this promise first, and then I shall decide."
Ryoga took a deep breath. This was the part that would take all of
his patience and whatever diplomacy he could muster. "I want you to
promise that once you get a date with the pigtailed girl, you'll give up
on Akane Tendo."
"Betray the love of my life? Never! Sooner would I die!"
"I always used to think that would come BEFORE the date with
Ranma..." Ryoga murmured to himself.
Kuno cocked an eyebrow. "What was that?"
Ryoga innocently changed tacks. "You know... I've heard the
pigtailed girl say that she'd be really interested in you if you would
devote yourself entirely to her and give up on Akane."
Fire blazed in Kuno's eyes. "Then I shall do it! I shall do
everything to win the hearts of both my beloved pigtailed goddess and
Akane Tendo!"
Ryoga's legs gave out, and he pitched to the ground face first. "You
idiot!" he shouted once he'd regained his feet. "You aren't even paying
attention, are you?"
"Why?" asked Kuno. "Are we fighting?"
Ryoga clenched a fist. "Geez! Are you always this dense?" He had to
take several deep breaths to calm himself down. "Calmness leads to
rationality. Calmness leads to rationality," he chanted under his
breath. "All right, Kuno. Think about it this way. Akane only has
feelings for -" he had to force the name out "- Ranma. She'll never be
yours, no matter what you do." Seeing Kuno's hand tighten on the
bokken's handle, he quickly continued. "And the pigtailed girl will
never be yours as long as you keep wanting Akane. So you can't have them
both, and you can't have just Akane. Does that tell you anything?"
Kuno slowly nodded as he stared into Ryoga's eyes. "No," he said at
last.
Ryoga's elbow met the back of Kuno's skull as his temper finally
snapped. "Why does everything have to be spelled out for you?"
"E-V-E-R-"
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" Ryoga went through every
calming exercise from his book, with little success. "Okay, I'm going to
say this very slowly." True to his word, he continued at the rate of one
word per second. "If... you... stop... pining... after... Akane...
the... pigtailed... girl... will... fall... in... love... with... you."
Kuno gave Ryoga the blankest look yet. "How much longer is this
going to take?"
Ryoga raised a hand to his forehead and sighed heavily. "Fine, fine.
Forget all of that. Just tell me how I can get a date with Akane."
Kuno snorted. "Is that all? That much, I would tell thee even for
nothing! It is no secret that in order to date Akane Tendo, one must
first defeat her in combat. For any mortal man lower than myself, it is
clearly an impossible task."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" cried Ryoga. "If I
beat Akane up, she'll hate me!"
Kuno shook his head disparagingly. "How little you understand."
Ryoga shrugged. "Well, whatever. Thanks for the 'hint', Kuno."
As Ryoga turned to walk away, Kuno grabbed his shoulder and cleared
his throat meaningfully. "I believe there's the small matter of a
promise remaining to be kept."
"What promise?"
Kuno faked a sigh. "Ah, how quickly we forget." He spun Ryoga around
and jabbed a finger into his chest. "You promised to tell me how to
ensure a rendezvous with the pigtailed girl."
"But you said the information was free!" protested Ryoga.
"I said it WOULD have been free, had you not promised to pay for
it," Kuno corrected him. "It is no fault of mine that you made such a
promise before asking my price."
Ryoga sighed. Losing an argument to Kuno had to be one of the most
embarrassing things he'd done in a long time... and he'd been caught
chewing on a pair of panties. Still, he was starting to get an inkling
of an idea from what Kuno had told him, and his own information wasn't
exactly anything he didn't want Kuno to know. In fact, it was quite the
opposite.
Stifling an evil giggle, Ryoga grinned and motioned for Kuno to lean
closer so that he could whisper the precious information. "You see,
Kuno, it's like this. The pigtailed girl has a little... secret...."
*************************************************
"Where the hell is Ranma?" grumbled Ukyo, a dark scowl threatening
to become the permanent configuration of her face as she continued to
hold it far longer than her parents would have deemed safe. "I can't
believe he'd be late two days in a row! And this time I explicitly told
Akane to watch him and make sure nothing happened!" Her expression
darkened even further. "Could she have done something to him herself?
She knew he was supposed to have lunch with me today... so maybe she
stopped him herself and made him forget about me!" Her hands clenched
into fists as her face darkened so much that it began to suck the light
out of the surrounding area. "Ranma honey, how could you forget about
your cute fiancee like that? You rotten lying weasel!" She instantly
brightened up and smiled. "One family-size okonomiyaki with shrimp and
vegetables. Enjoy your meal!"
The father eyed the misshapen tray dubiously, poking at the gouges
that Ukyo's fingers had left. "Um, are you sure this is safe to eat?" he
asked. But Ukyo was already storming back to the kitchen, exuding a
dangerous air that the customer knew better than to interfere with. He
turned back to his family. "Well, let's eat, I suppose."
Suddenly, the front door burst open, filling Ukyo with a horrifying
sense of deją vu as she turned to see Ranma and Akane stumble through
the opening in unison. Ranma's right eye was severely bruised, and
Akane's right arm was wrapped in a bloody bandage. She was leaning
heavily on Ranma, favoring her left leg, and he seemed to have little
trouble supporting both of them while walking normally.
Ukyo's patronage collectively gasped at the sight and stopped
eating, at least one woman letting the half-chewed mouthful drop from
her hanging jaw. The proprietor quickly helped the ailing pair to a
booth as her motherly instinct overrode her temper. "Are you guys okay?
Don't tell me it happened to both of you this time!"
Ranma nodded, wincing slightly at the pain in his neck. "I thought I
was gonna be late, so I just ran without looking where I was going.
Akane was behind me, and she shouted something, and I turned around to
look. Next thing I know, we're lying together in that same alley where I
woke up yesterday, looking like we just lost a major fight."
Ukyo froze in shock. "To-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to..."
"Aw, come off it, Ucchan," said Ranma. "Nothing happened between
us!"
"Someone must have attacked us and left us there," agreed Akane. "We
weren't -"
"To-to-to-to-to-to-to-to..." continued Ukyo, their words missing her
completely.
The man sitting at the adjacent table waved. "Waitress, can I get my
check please? I think I'm done here."
"To-to-to-coming right up-to-to-to...." Still sputtering, Ukyo stood
up, lurched over to the table, dropped a handful of blank checks onto
the table, swept the rest of the table's contents onto the man's lap
with a dishtowel, then returned to Ranma's booth and sat down opposite
him. "-to-to-to-to-together?"
"I told you nothing happened," repeated Ranma. "Whatever happened to
me yesterday must've got Akane too, that's all."
Ukyo lunged across the table and grabbed Ranma's shirt collar. "What
were you doing in an alley with HER, Ranchan?"
"Will you just listen already?" pleaded Ranma. "We were unconscious
the whole time!"
"That just makes it worse, you pervert!"
Akane's face grew warm. "You don't honestly think... me and him...."
She thrust her bandaged arm in front of Ukyo's face. "Look at this! Do
you think I could hurt myself like this doing THAT?"
Ukyo retched. "I don't want to know what sick games you two were
playing! I don't even want to think about it! Heck, I can barely even
look at you without... ugh!" She shuddered in disgust.
"I get the picture," Ranma said flatly. He stood up and pulled Akane
to her feet. "Let's go. It's obvious we're not welcome here." He took
one step and fell flat on his face, nearly pulling Akane down with him.
"Ranma honey!" shouted Ukyo, sliding out of her seat to help him up
as her compunctions vanished instantly. "I'm so sorry! What was I
thinking? You're hurt!"
"Like I said," replied Ranma. "But right now, I'm just starving. Can
we get something to eat?"
"Where are your priorities, Ranma?" Akane asked angrily, her stomach
punctuating her sentence with a loud growl. "Then again, I did miss
breakfast this morning...."
"But this was supposed to be a special lunch for just the two of
us!" protested Ukyo. "You spend all day with Ranma honey, and then you
intrude on OUR private time?"
"Ucchan, this isn't the time to talk about that," Ranma said calmly.
"Let's take care of the important issue first, then worry about
everything else."
"You're acting weird again," Ukyo informed him. "You're making way
too much sense."
Ranma shrugged. "If you think I'm making sense, then you should
listen, right?"
Ukyo gave him an emphatic "hmph!" before spinning on her heels and
storming to the kitchen.
"Well, that was rude," noted Akane.
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. All I did was ask for some food. This IS a
restaurant, right?"
"I was talking about you," Akane clarified.
"I'm hungry," said Ranma, letting that constitute his entire
explanation.
Akane scowled. "That's no excuse, Ranma. Ukyo's your friend. You
should treat her with more respect. And you could show me a little too,
while you're at it."
Ranma blinked in surprise. "You know, that's the same sort of weird
stuff you were saying at Gosunkugi's place."
"That's not the point," said Akane, cutting him off. "I thought
maybe you'd changed, but you're still the same as ever." She sat down
heavily in her seat, not moving over to give Ranma room.
"And do you have a problem with that?" countered Ranma, sitting
opposite her.
"Geez, you two, get a room," said Ukyo, who had approached the table
unnoticed bearing a large okonomiyaki. "You fight like a married
couple."
Ranma and Akane stared at each other guiltily as Ukyo set the
okonomiyaki down on the table, providing them with the much-needed
distraction. Ranma gratefully picked up a pair of chopsticks and lifted
a small piece to his mouth. He chewed eagerly while Akane watched,
readying her own chopsticks.
"Well, what do you think?" asked Ukyo.
Ranma swallowed. "It's kinda cold, don't you think?"
Ukyo slammed her fists down on the table, gouging its smooth,
polished surface in her rage. "Cold? COLD? I spent hours this morning
mixing up a batch of my special sauce and pre-cooking it just the right
amount to be ready at noon when you were going to show up - except you
didn't show up, leaving it to sit in the kitchen and cool off, wasting
all the work I put into getting it just right for the second day in a
row! And all you can say is 'it's cold?' OF COURSE IT'S COLD, YOU
JACKASS!"
"Hey, it's not like that -" began Ranma.
"Shove it!" she shouted, snatching the tray from the table and
turning it over on top of Ranma's head. "You know what? Forget about
lunch! If you can't bother to show up on time and then have the nerve to
complain to me about it, then I don't want to see you here ever again!"
As Ukyo turned to stomp back to the kitchen yet again, Ranma leapt
up and grabbed her shoulder. "Hey, Ucchan, you're not being fair here!"
"Yeah, don't go away mad! It's not his fault!" put in Akane,
standing up just behind Ranma. "Whatever happened yesterday happened
again today, and that's what made him late!"
Ukyo slowly turned to face her, then jabbed an index finger into
Akane's face. "And YOU...! You were supposed to make sure whatever
happened yesterday didn't happen again! But not only did you totally
fail to do that, then you show up at the restaurant along with him,
butting in on our date again!"
"Your date?" Akane shot back. "Who gave you permission to date Ranma
anyway?"
"Oh, don't act all high-and-mighty with me! You probably let him
pass out in that alley again just to keep him away from me! Admit it!"
Sparks lanced through the air between the girls as their tempers
grew strong enough to take on physical form. Ranma tentatively waved his
hand in front of their faces. "Uh, girls? Maybe you should try to work
this out peacefully -"
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" they shouted in unison, punching him out the
front door.
Akane was the first to return to her senses, staring at her fist in
shock. "What did I just do?"
Ukyo shrugged. "What's the big deal? You get pissed at Ranma all the
time."
Akane's face fell. "You're right.... I do. I never realized how much
I was hurting him. Or rather, I never stopped to think about it until
now. I always just lose my temper at the worst times and take it out on
poor Ranma."
Ukyo blinked several times in surprise. "Hey, Akane, now you're
acting just as weird as Ranma was. What's up with that?"
Tears welled up in Akane's eyes. "I can't believe I would...." She
wiped the tears away and ran to the door. "If Ranma comes back, tell him
I'm sorry!" she called out as she fled the restaurant without looking
back.
Ukyo shook her head. "I just don't get it. Whatever happened to them
is making them both act weird now, and it happens whenever Ranma tries
to come to my restaurant. I guess Akane probably isn't the one doing
it.... Could Shampoo be behind it somehow, even if she was here
yesterday when it happened the first time? I can't think of any other
explanation!"
The eerie silence that followed her declaration seemed incredibly
out of place for some reason. She turned around to see her customers
watching her intently, too petrified to move or say anything. Sighing,
she raised a hand to her forehead and reminded herself that it wasn't
wise to upset the customers. The new business had cost her far too much
to let it fail so soon after opening. "Sorry about that, folks," she
apologized. "To make up for disturbing your quiet mealtime atmosphere,
I'd like to give each of you a certificate good for a free personal
okonomiyaki on your next visit."
Silence greeted this offer too, for the first few minutes. Finally,
it was broken by a man sitting near the front door. "Hey, that sounds
like a good deal."
Relief flooded Ukyo's heart. There was a lot more effort involved in
running a real business, especially with patrons like Ranma and
Akane.... But in the frenzy of trying to make and hand out the
certificates, even that obvious segue failed to remind her of her
earlier train of thought concerning Ranma and Akane's odd behavior.
*************************************************
Ranma shivered as the cold hose water ran down her body, cleaning
the okonomiyaki sauce from her hair and face. "Better wait 'till Ukyo
calms down before going back there," she decided aloud. "Maybe she and
Akane will manage to work things out without killing each other." She
dropped the hose, turned off the spigot, and shrugged. "Nah. I'm
probably going to have to patch things up with Akane first, and then get
her to talk to Ukyo again. They're going to have to learn to get along
eventually."
She turned to head back to the Tendo Dojo, but froze in her tracks.
"Wait a second. That makes way too much sense. When have I ever come up
with a good idea?" It was a blow to her pride to admit that it was an
unlikely prospect, but compared to the current circumstances, even her
vanity was a minor concern. "Ukyo and Akane were right. I am acting
weird. Even weirder than yesterday. The question is, why? What exactly
happened, and how exactly has it changed me? What's the best way to find
out?"
Pondering her predicament, Ranma set off for home again, only to
stop a few seconds later, this time in response to the last voice she
wanted to hear. "Pigtailed girl, I have found you at last!" Kuno shouted
joyously, running toward her at top speed.
Ranma spun around and raised a foot to the spot where Kuno's face
met it moments later. "I really don't have the time or the patience to
deal with you right now, Kuno. So just go back to looking for your
sister and let me get back to my own business."
Kuno pried his face from her sole and grabbed her ankle to prevent
her from leaving. "I'm afraid I cannot allow that this time," he
announced. "For into my hands has come a great secret, one that I know
you wish to hide from certain parties, and my excitement at this
opportunity is such that I can contain it no longer! We must act
immediately, 'ere my heart bursts from the anticipation!"
"I don't care about your -" Ranma began, before her newly-altered
brain caught up with her ears. "Wait, did you say something about a
secret?"
"Indeed," confirmed Kuno with great relish. "Can you deny me my
prize in light of this windfall?"
Ranma ignored Kuno as per usual as she tried to puzzle out what the
heck he was talking about. He already knew about the Cat-Fist, and that
wasn't much of a secret to begin with. In fact, most of Ranma's past had
already become public knowledge at some point or another, and most of it
didn't affect her anymore anyway, once it had been uncovered and dealt
with. About the only other part of her life that was still even in
effect, which Kuno didn't know about, was.... "What secret are you
talking about?" she asked, still unwilling to believe that Kuno could
possibly have figured THAT out.
Kuno smiled. "Why, it would be this, of course," he said, pulling
from behind his back the hand that Ranma hadn't noticed him hiding. What
it held was undeniably a steaming kettle, and there was only one secret
that it could possibly be a part of. But how could Kuno have learned
about her gender-changing secret after proving so stubbornly resistant
to it for such a long time? ... Then again, Ranma had been going through
some startling mental changes herself, and Akane seemed to have changed
as well after her encounter with whatever had left them in that alley.
Maybe the same thing had happened to Kuno, miraculously giving him the
brainpower to understand the true nature of Ranma's curse. And if that
was the case, it was a VERY powerful force.
Kuno was still staring intently at Ranma, waiting for an answer,
which reminded her of the other reason that the situation was so wrong.
"You know about my curse, and you STILL want to go out with me? I had no
idea you swung that way."
"That I would choose you over Akane Tendo is no coincidence,"
boasted Kuno, completely missing Ranma's implication. "But you are
indeed correct to be wary, for my affection for Akane has not diminished
in the slightest. I am, however, willing to devote thee my full
attention for the while, until your heart is mine, whence I shall again
resume the quest for her love and yours." He held Ranma's hand and gazed
at her with stars in his eyes. "Fear not, my love. You shall both
receive all of Tatewaki Kuno, age -"
Ranma silenced him with another kick in the face. "I don't even want
half of you, Kuno. And you should know why. I don't like guys!"
"So you say," said Kuno, clenching the fist that held the kettle.
"But I know it is a spell, that I must break at any cost!"
"It's not a spell," Ranma said far too patiently. "I'm a guy." Then,
she reconsidered her words. "Well, I guess the curse COULD be considered
a spell...."
"Exactly!" Kuno spouted triumphantly. "And that is why we must date
immediately and restore your twisted sensibilities to their rightful
state!"
"Who's twisted?" asked Ranma, pulling her hand out of Kuno's grip at
last.
Kuno shook a warning finger disapprovingly. "I fully anticipated
this hard-to-get routine well in advance," he declared, raising the
teakettle. "Do not make me use your worst fear against you!"
"My worst fear?" Ranma queried skeptically. "It's not like I'm
afraid of being my old self. Heck, give that here and I'll pour it on
myself!"
"Oh, the bravery!" cried Kuno with fake tears in his eyes. "But
alas, such an act cannot belie the truth of your inner turmoil. I know
all too well of the one who would seek to use this knowledge against
you, and cannot allow her that privilege. But still, if you will not
agree to a date, I must tell all!"
Ranma froze yet again in mid-reach for the kettle. "Did you say...?"
Kuno nodded solemnly. "Yes, I know how disastrous it would be if
your mother were to discover this tragic secret. It would be akin to the
end of your young life. But, if I cannot have you, then no other man
shall, this I vow!"
Ranma's face turned an unhealthy shade of green as she realized that
Kuno was dead serious. He wanted a date, even now that he knew Ranma was
in fact male, and if Ranma didn't agree, Kuno would tell her mother
about the curse, and she'd have to kill herself. Kuno was indeed
well-informed, if nothing else. "How did you finally figure all of this
out?" she asked.
Kuno shook his head. "My honor forbids me to reveal my source.
Suffice it to say that the price I paid for the information was indeed
well-spent."
Ranma clenched her fists. "Nabiki...." It all made sense now. This
was clearly her revenge for the groping incident the day before. Well,
she was going to get hers, eventually... but there was this situation to
deal with first. Ranma swallowed what little remained of her pride and
gave Kuno the sad puppy-dog eyes treatment. "Oh, Kuno dear... you
couldn't possibly do something to hurt little me, could you?"
Kuno's breath caught in his throat. "Oh, my delicate flower. Of
course, such a thing is completely unthinkable!" Ranma started to sigh
with relief before he continued. "And yet, I must stand firm! As I was
taught, this is my only course! It is written: 'Never back down from
what you know to be the correct path!'"
"'It is written' where, exactly?" asked Ranma.
Kuno stepped back to a respectable distance, and Ranma finally
noticed how tightly his fist was clenched around the handle of the
kettle. Suddenly, he raised a finger to point ominously at Ranma. "I
shall expect your answer tonight, pigtailed girl!"
"My name isn't 'pigtailed girl'," Ranma reminded him. "It's Ran-"
"Shush! Such beauty should not be sullied by so vile a thing as a
name," interrupted Kuno, lost in the moment.
Ranma snorted. "Whatever. But I have no intention of going out with
you, even if you do know my secret. Go ahead and tell my mom if you
want. I don't think you have the guts."
Kuno smiled slyly. "That we shall see, my goddess. By this eve, you
will no longer be able to resist my overbearing charm!"
"Full of yourself today, eh?" retorted Ranma. "Don't count on that
date, pal. It ain't happening."
"We shall see," repeated Kuno.
"I'd move if I were you," warned Ranma. "I have the sudden urge to
aim a kick right where you're standing."
"Ah, the energetic fire of youth that blazes so -" Kuno's voice
immediately cut out as Ranma made good on her threat, sending her
erstwhile suitor flying.
"I warned him," she reminded herself. "But why I didn't just let him
have it in the first place, I have no idea. I've gotta figure out what's
wrong with me." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I guess I could go
ask Dr. Tofu. If anyone can figure out what's happened to me, he
probably can."
With a destination in mind, she turned and set off, sighing to
herself as she realized that she should have claimed the kettle from
Kuno before punting him. "I wonder if he was really serious about that
threat.... Does he even KNOW Mom? And why the heck does he want a date
with me when he knows I'm a guy?" She shuddered at the only reason that
came to mind and quickly changed tacks, thinking about ways to escape
the impending date without her secret being exposed. Some things were
best left unexplained.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOSS: Excuse me while I weigh those very... weighty... choices.
BOSS: Does anyone know what "heads" means?
My not-so-humble webpage of fanfiction and other random junk has MOVED:
http://nidoking.anifics.com Update your bookmarks!
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'
story came out. Mark it down to 50% laziness, 50% waiting for prereader
responses. I plan to start on the next chapter of this story tonight,
but as the rewrites begin to uproot the story more and more completely
with each chapter, who knows how long it will take to finish? Suffice it
to say, I WILL finish rewriting this story, most likely before we see
the end of GTP. As always, comments are welcome and will certainly be
taken into consideration for inclusion in the web drafts and the FF.net
entries... if I ever get around to publishing this story there. Until
then, you can find the previous chapters on my webpage as always, at
http://nidoking.anifics.com/NewChoice.html (and hopefully, a chapter
guide to come soon in case you want to quickly refresh your memory on
what's happened so far. See the 52 Curses main page for an idea of what
I mean.)
Notable changes in this chapter - a much better treatment of the voodoo
doll, which should continue in future Gos scenes; much more
in-characterness for Kuno, including some obfuscation on my part in the
final scene with Ranma (^_^); and I wrote out Tsubasa, which caused the
mood of the Ucchan's scene to undergo a complete reversal, which should
make Ukyo's scenes over the next few chapters quite interesting. Tsubasa
really contributed nothing to the story except for the easily discarded
phone gag in chapter 17, so he's not a loss. And before the animephobes
say anything about Sasuke... that was not an invitation. This is, and
has always been, anime fanfiction. That said, enjoy!
Ranma 1/2 -- A Deadly Choice
Chapter 5: A Recipe for Love is an Invitation for Disaster
Gosunkugi beamed at the lifelike doll in his hands. In sharp
contrast to the bundles of straw he normally produced, this was a
masterpiece of craftsmanship. The cloth had exactly the same texture as
human skin, albeit a bit smooth, which he felt was only appropriate for
the subject. The doll's clothes could have been an authentic Furinkan
High girls' uniform after a nasty encounter with a shrinking ray, and
the perfect lengthened bowl cut of dark hair framed a face that the
ancient dollmakers would have killed for the skill to paint. And it
wasn't just because it was well-detailed, either; Akane Tendo's face in
any form was a work of art worthy of any master. He would have to
compliment her parents sometime.
But that would have to wait. Right now, there was more important
business to take care of. He tucked the doll carefully into the crook of
his arm as he pushed the ladder into position in front of the door.
Biting down on a hammer and nail, he climbed to the top of the ladder,
running over the plan again in his mind. Having created the doll from
his extensive collection of photographs had only been the first step.
His book had given the complete recipe for a successful relationship. By
hanging the doll directly above the front door, it would ensure a visit
from the one he loved. And then a white pin in its heart, combined with
a dose of his special potion, would seal her affection for him forever.
Carefully, he set the doll down on the top step and leaned on the
ladder while he readied the hammer and nail in his hands. A few sharp
raps, and the nail was buried just deep enough in the top of the
doorframe, protruding at a slight upward angle to better support its
precious burden. "And now, the final touch," he said aloud as he lifted
the doll into place, slipping the short loop of string on its back over
the head of the nail. "Now to get ready for Akane's visit!"
Before he could start to descend the ladder, the doorbell rang.
"Akane, is that you?" he asked tentatively, staring at the doll in
disbelief. It couldn't be! The magic couldn't have worked THAT quickly!
But it had. "That's right. How did you know it was me?" Akane asked
from the far side of the door. "Do you have hidden cameras out here?"
she continued after a slight nervous pause.
"Oh, no, nothing like that!" he called to her, trying to remember
what he was supposed to be doing. Oh, right. The doll and the pin. And
getting down from the ladder. He snatched the doll off the nail and
started down the ladder without looking as he readied the pin between
his fingers. Halfway down, his foot missed the step and went right
between the rungs, causing him to lose his balance and fall backwards,
pulling the ladder down on top of himself with a loud crash.
"What was that noise?" Akane asked. "Are you all right in there?"
"Just fine," Gosunkugi assured her as he pushed the ladder aside,
attempting to disentangle himself from it and stand up. "One minute,
please! I'll be right there!" He kicked free of the ladder at last and
leapt to his feet, holding the doll in one hand and the pin in the
other. His hand seemed to have warmed the pin enough that he could no
longer feel the cold metal between his fingers, but... now that he took
the time to rub his fingers together, they did feel strangely empty all
of a sudden.... He looked down, only to confirm the worst. The pin was
gone!
There was a very insistent banging on the door as Hikaru's eyes
scanned the floor, searching for the pin. It couldn't have vanished
completely. It had to be somewhere! Maybe under the ladder....
"Hikaru, what's going on in there?" asked Akane. "Do you need help
with something?"
"No!" he shouted just a bit too forcefully. He couldn't let Akane
catch him with the doll, or everything would be ruined! Thinking
quickly, he tucked the doll into the back of his pants, kicked the
ladder aside, and flung the door open. "Akane!" he cried. "What a
surprise to see -" he stopped suddenly as he noticed who was
accompanying her "- Ranma and Upperclassman Kuno..." he finished
dejectedly.
"Yeah, thrilling as always," Ranma said sarcastically. "We're not
here for a friendly visit, Gosunkugi. We've got a few questions for
you."
Gosunkugi swallowed nervously. Ranma's tone sounded harmless enough,
but nothing that he'd ever said to Gosunkugi had failed to result in far
more trouble than it was worth. "Heh heh," he chuckled. "I suppose I can
spare you a few minutes. Won't you -"
"Move aside, worm," Kuno said as he pushed Gosunkugi rudely on his
way into the house. "I have remained without long enough."
"- come in?" Gosunkugi finished unnecessarily as Ranma and Akane
followed in Kuno's footsteps.
"I hope we're not interrupting anything," said Akane. She wrinkled
her nose. "What is that smell?" she asked.
Kuno and Ranma sniffed at the air. "Yeah, something sure smells
good!" Ranma agreed.
"Good?" Akane took another sniff and nearly gagged. "What's wrong
with your nose, Ranma? It smells like a public bathroom in here!"
"I smell naught but the wondrous aroma of freshly baked
confections!" extolled Kuno. "Chocolate chip cookies, if my olfactory
sense is not lacking."
Hikaru sighed. "Yes, there are cookies in the kitchen, but...."
"Hey, I'm there!" said Ranma. He and Kuno brushed right past
Gosunkugi and made their way toward the wonderful smell of cookies fresh
out of the oven.
Hikaru sighed again. "Nothing ever goes right for me."
Akane groaned. "Boys...." She took a deep breath through her mouth,
removing a bit of the green color from her face. "I don't know how they
could possibly smell cookies in here... do you smell anything, Hikaru?
Maybe a sewer pipe burst or something."
"I don't -" he began, before he remembered where the voodoo doll was
in relation to one of the more pungent parts of his anatomy. He'd never
known any voodoo doll to convey smells to its target, but then, no other
voodoo doll had ever been as potent as the one in his pants. "Now that
you mention it," he fallaciously corrected himself, "I do notice a bit
of... stench in the air. I'd better make sure I remembered to flush the
toilet." He motioned toward the kitchen. "Why don't you go on and try
some of my cookies in the meantime? I baked them just for you."
"I'm sorry," said Akane, rubbing her stomach. "I don't think I could
possibly eat anything right now. I feel like I've just eaten a big
meal." She inhaled through her nose, coughed, and went back to
mouth-breathing again. "Not to mention the awful smell in here."
"I'll take care of that!" Hikaru promised. "Just go, get to the
kitchen and have some cookies! Please?" He instantly regretted his
insistent tone, but his entire plan revolved around Akane eating the
cookies that he'd laced with true-love potion. One bite would cause any
woman who ate it to fall instantly in love with him - and unlike the
standard love potions made popular by fictional accounts, this love
would be pure and totally free of animalistic lust. Once Akane ate one
of the cookies, she'd want nothing more than to be his girlfriend. And
thanks to the ingredients that Kodachi Kuno had provided, the potion
would have no effect on men; a precaution that he was now glad he had
taken.
Akane gave him an odd stare, but despite her suspicion, she turned
around and made her way to the kitchen. Hikaru breathed a sigh of relief
and pulled the doll out of his pants, casting about for a better place
to hide it. One of the antique African tribal masks that adorned the
walls was large enough to hold the doll comfortably, and he grabbed it
down and carefully placed the doll inside it. He was about to hang the
mask up again, concealing the incriminating effigy from prying eyes,
when his own eyes caught a glimpse of the doll for the first time since
Akane had shown up. There, protruding from the doll's belly, was the
long-sought white-headed pin.
"That explains why she's not hungry," he said as he removed the pin.
"Ah well. I feel like an idiot, but at least I found it." He pushed the
pin into the doll's heart and hung the mask in its place. The pin
wouldn't do much on its own, of course, but when combined with the
true-love potion....
Hikaru heard Akane shriek from the kitchen, and raced toward the
sound, hoping that he hadn't somehow screwed up the spell. He'd followed
the recipe to the letter, but if there had somehow been a mistake, the
results could be catastrophic. "What's going on?" he asked excitedly as
he leapt through the kitchen door.
"Those boys ate all the cookies before I could get any!" replied the
completely unharmed Akane, pointing to the pair of boys seated at the
table in front of the large plate of cookie crumbs.
"You said you didn't want any," Ranma mumbled around an oversized
mouthful of cookie.
"Well, I wasn't hungry before!" Akane shot back. "Now I am. And I
don't think it was very polite to eat all of Hikaru's cookies in the
first place."
"You said you didn't want any," Ranma repeated through the same
mouthful.
"Filthy cur," murmured Kuno. "Speaking with food in one's mouth, in
the presence of the fairer gender! Have you no shame nor etiquette?"
"The point isn't whether I want anything or not," Akane continued.
"The point is that eating all of the cookies was rude."
"I agree," said Kuno, wiping the chocolate stains from his face with
Gosunkugi's dishtowel. "You are truly a dishonorable guest, Saotome."
"And who made you guys the authorities on manners?" asked Ranma.
Hikaru cleared his throat, doing his best to convey the message
that, since his plan had failed in the most complete fashion imaginable,
he wanted the visitors out of his house as soon as possible. "Now that
you've ruined my pla- I mean, eaten my cookies, I believe you came here
for a reason?"
"Of course!" shouted Kuno, upending the table as he stood up and
drew his bokken. "Your ploy to stay my hand with food ends now! Return
my sister to me whence you have taken her!"
Hikaru screamed and fell against the kitchen wall, holding up his
arms to ward off the impending death by lumber. "What are you talking
about? I didn't take your sister anywhere!"
"Upperclassman Kuno, we're not here to accuse Hikaru of anything,"
Akane reminded him politely. "We came to ask him if he knows anything
about the demon that kidnapped your sister, remember?"
Kuno withdrew his weapon. "Ah, yes. It is so." He sat back down and
crossed his arms.
Meanwhile, Ranma stared at Akane as if seeing her for the first
time. "Is something the matter with you, Akane? Something seems strange
about you, but I can't quite put my finger on it...."
"I'm not sure what you mean, Ranma," said Akane. "Would you mind
explaining why you feel that way?"
"See, that's what I'm talking about," said Ranma. "You're being all
polite now."
Hikaru stifled a gasp. Without the influence of the true-love
potion, the pin in the heart of the Akane voodoo doll had merely
suppressed her usual anger and brought out her polite, caring side. He
had to do something to divert their attention before they realized that
he'd had something to do with the change. "What's this about Kuno's
sister?" he asked, feigning interest.
"You will address me as Upperclassman," Kuno put in automatically.
"Forget about your social status for a second and tell him about
what happened last night!" snapped Ranma.
Grudgingly, Kuno related the complete story of Kodachi's kidnap,
with helpful prods from Ranma and Akane whenever he started to embellish
the facts or insert accusations of "the demon Saotome" into his
narrative. As the facts gradually became clear, Hikaru's interest grew,
until he no longer had to pretend to be interested in the tale. In the
end, he was pressing Kuno for more detail about the black cloud demon
that had taken Ranma's form.
"Can you tell us more about it, Hikaru?" asked Akane once the
interview was finished.
"I'll see what I can find out," replied Hikaru. "There should be
some useful information in my library. I'll just have to dig around to
find the right books."
"Oh, thank you!" said Akane.
"Yeah, thanks," echoed Ranma. "We'll come back later today to find
out what you've got."
"See that you find the information we seek quickly, Gosunkugi,"
threatened Kuno, "or it will be your head."
Hikaru checked his watch. "Well, let's see. It's five minutes to
noon now, so give me about -"
"Five minutes to noon?" Ranma interrupted. "Shoot! I've gotta go!"
"Go? Go where?" asked Akane.
"I'm supposed to be at Ucchan's in five minutes!" Ranma informed her
as his feet began to slide back and forth, trying to remember the
correct sequence of positions for running. "If I'm late, she'll pound me
flatter than an okonomiyaki!"
Akane gasped. "That's not good! You'd better hurry and get over
there!"
Ranma waved a hand in front of Akane's face. "Okay, now I know
there's something wrong with you. You NEVER tell me to 'hurry and get to
Ucchan's.' It's always either 'what's wrong with MY cooking?' or 'fine,
see if I care,' or something like that."
"'Tis simple," announced Kuno. "Akane Tendo wishes to remain in my
company when we quit this dilapidated place, when at last we can be
alone in our true love!" Reaching the height of his delusion, Kuno
stretched his arms wide and turned to Akane. "Come, dearest Akane! No
longer can I bear to be separate from your -"
Akane's foot met his face abruptly. "I'm sorry, Upperclassman Kuno,
but I just don't think of you that way."
Hikaru shook his head. "Some things, even the power of voodoo can't
change," he murmured to himself.
Ranma grabbed Akane's arm. "Come on. I'm not letting you out of my
sight until we figure out exactly what's going on. You, me, Ryoga,
Shampoo, and probably a lot of other people have been acting really
weird lately, and I intend to get to the bottom of it. Maybe Ukyo'll
even help us."
"I'm sure she will," Akane agreed as he dragged her out of the room.
"She's a nice girl."
"It is bewitchment, to be sure!" shouted Kuno. "You'll not steal
Akane from me so easily, Saotome!" He stormed out of the room, shaking a
fist at Ranma while keeping a respectable distance.
Hikaru waited until the front door slammed behind his guests before
righting the kitchen table. "What a weird bunch," he said to himself as
he went to retrieve the Akane doll and prepare for another attempt at
winning her heart through voodoo.
*************************************************
Kuno hadn't followed his quarry for more than two blocks before a
strong hand gripped his shoulder, jerking him to a halt. He pulled his
bokken from his belt as he spun around to face his assailant. "Who dares
lay his hand on Tatewaki Kuno, kendo champion of Furinkan High?"
Ryoga held his hands up placatingly. "Whoa, there, big guy. I'm not
here to pick a fight."
"The fight has picked you, fool," said Kuno, pressing his blade to
Ryoga's throat. "This delay has caused me to lose sight of Akane Tendo!"
Ryoga waved dismissively. "Ah, forget her. She's not the one for
you. Now, the pigtailed girl, on the other hand...."
The bokken dug almost deep enough to draw blood as Kuno leaned
forward threateningly. "What have you done with the pigtailed girl?"
"Do you even listen before you start stabbing people?" Ryoga shot
back, trying his best to maintain his temper. "I didn't do anything to
the pigtailed girl!"
"LIES!" shouted Kuno. "Where is she? Tell me before I cut you down
where you stand!"
Ryoga casually raised an elbow and leaned on the bokken. "I thought
it was your sister who was kidnapped."
"Then you admit it!" shouted Kuno, pulling his bokken back. He
thrust the blade under Ryoga's chin again as the bandana-wearing one
stumbled. "Where is she?"
Ryoga quickly gave up trying to get Kuno to listen to reason and
instead appealed to his insanity. "I don't know, but I do know how you
can get a date with the pigtailed girl."
Kuno's bokken was in his belt before Ryoga could blink. "I'm
listening."
"Hey, I don't give information for free," Ryoga hinted.
"Very well," said Kuno, extracting a wallet from his pocket. "As
long as your fee is comparable to Nabiki Tendo's, I am willing to -"
"I'm not asking for money," Ryoga interrupted. "What I want from you
is information... and a promise."
"Tatewaki Kuno does not make promises lightly," said Kuno. "Name
this promise first, and then I shall decide."
Ryoga took a deep breath. This was the part that would take all of
his patience and whatever diplomacy he could muster. "I want you to
promise that once you get a date with the pigtailed girl, you'll give up
on Akane Tendo."
"Betray the love of my life? Never! Sooner would I die!"
"I always used to think that would come BEFORE the date with
Ranma..." Ryoga murmured to himself.
Kuno cocked an eyebrow. "What was that?"
Ryoga innocently changed tacks. "You know... I've heard the
pigtailed girl say that she'd be really interested in you if you would
devote yourself entirely to her and give up on Akane."
Fire blazed in Kuno's eyes. "Then I shall do it! I shall do
everything to win the hearts of both my beloved pigtailed goddess and
Akane Tendo!"
Ryoga's legs gave out, and he pitched to the ground face first. "You
idiot!" he shouted once he'd regained his feet. "You aren't even paying
attention, are you?"
"Why?" asked Kuno. "Are we fighting?"
Ryoga clenched a fist. "Geez! Are you always this dense?" He had to
take several deep breaths to calm himself down. "Calmness leads to
rationality. Calmness leads to rationality," he chanted under his
breath. "All right, Kuno. Think about it this way. Akane only has
feelings for -" he had to force the name out "- Ranma. She'll never be
yours, no matter what you do." Seeing Kuno's hand tighten on the
bokken's handle, he quickly continued. "And the pigtailed girl will
never be yours as long as you keep wanting Akane. So you can't have them
both, and you can't have just Akane. Does that tell you anything?"
Kuno slowly nodded as he stared into Ryoga's eyes. "No," he said at
last.
Ryoga's elbow met the back of Kuno's skull as his temper finally
snapped. "Why does everything have to be spelled out for you?"
"E-V-E-R-"
"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?" Ryoga went through every
calming exercise from his book, with little success. "Okay, I'm going to
say this very slowly." True to his word, he continued at the rate of one
word per second. "If... you... stop... pining... after... Akane...
the... pigtailed... girl... will... fall... in... love... with... you."
Kuno gave Ryoga the blankest look yet. "How much longer is this
going to take?"
Ryoga raised a hand to his forehead and sighed heavily. "Fine, fine.
Forget all of that. Just tell me how I can get a date with Akane."
Kuno snorted. "Is that all? That much, I would tell thee even for
nothing! It is no secret that in order to date Akane Tendo, one must
first defeat her in combat. For any mortal man lower than myself, it is
clearly an impossible task."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" cried Ryoga. "If I
beat Akane up, she'll hate me!"
Kuno shook his head disparagingly. "How little you understand."
Ryoga shrugged. "Well, whatever. Thanks for the 'hint', Kuno."
As Ryoga turned to walk away, Kuno grabbed his shoulder and cleared
his throat meaningfully. "I believe there's the small matter of a
promise remaining to be kept."
"What promise?"
Kuno faked a sigh. "Ah, how quickly we forget." He spun Ryoga around
and jabbed a finger into his chest. "You promised to tell me how to
ensure a rendezvous with the pigtailed girl."
"But you said the information was free!" protested Ryoga.
"I said it WOULD have been free, had you not promised to pay for
it," Kuno corrected him. "It is no fault of mine that you made such a
promise before asking my price."
Ryoga sighed. Losing an argument to Kuno had to be one of the most
embarrassing things he'd done in a long time... and he'd been caught
chewing on a pair of panties. Still, he was starting to get an inkling
of an idea from what Kuno had told him, and his own information wasn't
exactly anything he didn't want Kuno to know. In fact, it was quite the
opposite.
Stifling an evil giggle, Ryoga grinned and motioned for Kuno to lean
closer so that he could whisper the precious information. "You see,
Kuno, it's like this. The pigtailed girl has a little... secret...."
*************************************************
"Where the hell is Ranma?" grumbled Ukyo, a dark scowl threatening
to become the permanent configuration of her face as she continued to
hold it far longer than her parents would have deemed safe. "I can't
believe he'd be late two days in a row! And this time I explicitly told
Akane to watch him and make sure nothing happened!" Her expression
darkened even further. "Could she have done something to him herself?
She knew he was supposed to have lunch with me today... so maybe she
stopped him herself and made him forget about me!" Her hands clenched
into fists as her face darkened so much that it began to suck the light
out of the surrounding area. "Ranma honey, how could you forget about
your cute fiancee like that? You rotten lying weasel!" She instantly
brightened up and smiled. "One family-size okonomiyaki with shrimp and
vegetables. Enjoy your meal!"
The father eyed the misshapen tray dubiously, poking at the gouges
that Ukyo's fingers had left. "Um, are you sure this is safe to eat?" he
asked. But Ukyo was already storming back to the kitchen, exuding a
dangerous air that the customer knew better than to interfere with. He
turned back to his family. "Well, let's eat, I suppose."
Suddenly, the front door burst open, filling Ukyo with a horrifying
sense of deją vu as she turned to see Ranma and Akane stumble through
the opening in unison. Ranma's right eye was severely bruised, and
Akane's right arm was wrapped in a bloody bandage. She was leaning
heavily on Ranma, favoring her left leg, and he seemed to have little
trouble supporting both of them while walking normally.
Ukyo's patronage collectively gasped at the sight and stopped
eating, at least one woman letting the half-chewed mouthful drop from
her hanging jaw. The proprietor quickly helped the ailing pair to a
booth as her motherly instinct overrode her temper. "Are you guys okay?
Don't tell me it happened to both of you this time!"
Ranma nodded, wincing slightly at the pain in his neck. "I thought I
was gonna be late, so I just ran without looking where I was going.
Akane was behind me, and she shouted something, and I turned around to
look. Next thing I know, we're lying together in that same alley where I
woke up yesterday, looking like we just lost a major fight."
Ukyo froze in shock. "To-to-to-to-to-to-to-to-to..."
"Aw, come off it, Ucchan," said Ranma. "Nothing happened between
us!"
"Someone must have attacked us and left us there," agreed Akane. "We
weren't -"
"To-to-to-to-to-to-to-to..." continued Ukyo, their words missing her
completely.
The man sitting at the adjacent table waved. "Waitress, can I get my
check please? I think I'm done here."
"To-to-to-coming right up-to-to-to...." Still sputtering, Ukyo stood
up, lurched over to the table, dropped a handful of blank checks onto
the table, swept the rest of the table's contents onto the man's lap
with a dishtowel, then returned to Ranma's booth and sat down opposite
him. "-to-to-to-to-together?"
"I told you nothing happened," repeated Ranma. "Whatever happened to
me yesterday must've got Akane too, that's all."
Ukyo lunged across the table and grabbed Ranma's shirt collar. "What
were you doing in an alley with HER, Ranchan?"
"Will you just listen already?" pleaded Ranma. "We were unconscious
the whole time!"
"That just makes it worse, you pervert!"
Akane's face grew warm. "You don't honestly think... me and him...."
She thrust her bandaged arm in front of Ukyo's face. "Look at this! Do
you think I could hurt myself like this doing THAT?"
Ukyo retched. "I don't want to know what sick games you two were
playing! I don't even want to think about it! Heck, I can barely even
look at you without... ugh!" She shuddered in disgust.
"I get the picture," Ranma said flatly. He stood up and pulled Akane
to her feet. "Let's go. It's obvious we're not welcome here." He took
one step and fell flat on his face, nearly pulling Akane down with him.
"Ranma honey!" shouted Ukyo, sliding out of her seat to help him up
as her compunctions vanished instantly. "I'm so sorry! What was I
thinking? You're hurt!"
"Like I said," replied Ranma. "But right now, I'm just starving. Can
we get something to eat?"
"Where are your priorities, Ranma?" Akane asked angrily, her stomach
punctuating her sentence with a loud growl. "Then again, I did miss
breakfast this morning...."
"But this was supposed to be a special lunch for just the two of
us!" protested Ukyo. "You spend all day with Ranma honey, and then you
intrude on OUR private time?"
"Ucchan, this isn't the time to talk about that," Ranma said calmly.
"Let's take care of the important issue first, then worry about
everything else."
"You're acting weird again," Ukyo informed him. "You're making way
too much sense."
Ranma shrugged. "If you think I'm making sense, then you should
listen, right?"
Ukyo gave him an emphatic "hmph!" before spinning on her heels and
storming to the kitchen.
"Well, that was rude," noted Akane.
Ranma nodded. "Yeah. All I did was ask for some food. This IS a
restaurant, right?"
"I was talking about you," Akane clarified.
"I'm hungry," said Ranma, letting that constitute his entire
explanation.
Akane scowled. "That's no excuse, Ranma. Ukyo's your friend. You
should treat her with more respect. And you could show me a little too,
while you're at it."
Ranma blinked in surprise. "You know, that's the same sort of weird
stuff you were saying at Gosunkugi's place."
"That's not the point," said Akane, cutting him off. "I thought
maybe you'd changed, but you're still the same as ever." She sat down
heavily in her seat, not moving over to give Ranma room.
"And do you have a problem with that?" countered Ranma, sitting
opposite her.
"Geez, you two, get a room," said Ukyo, who had approached the table
unnoticed bearing a large okonomiyaki. "You fight like a married
couple."
Ranma and Akane stared at each other guiltily as Ukyo set the
okonomiyaki down on the table, providing them with the much-needed
distraction. Ranma gratefully picked up a pair of chopsticks and lifted
a small piece to his mouth. He chewed eagerly while Akane watched,
readying her own chopsticks.
"Well, what do you think?" asked Ukyo.
Ranma swallowed. "It's kinda cold, don't you think?"
Ukyo slammed her fists down on the table, gouging its smooth,
polished surface in her rage. "Cold? COLD? I spent hours this morning
mixing up a batch of my special sauce and pre-cooking it just the right
amount to be ready at noon when you were going to show up - except you
didn't show up, leaving it to sit in the kitchen and cool off, wasting
all the work I put into getting it just right for the second day in a
row! And all you can say is 'it's cold?' OF COURSE IT'S COLD, YOU
JACKASS!"
"Hey, it's not like that -" began Ranma.
"Shove it!" she shouted, snatching the tray from the table and
turning it over on top of Ranma's head. "You know what? Forget about
lunch! If you can't bother to show up on time and then have the nerve to
complain to me about it, then I don't want to see you here ever again!"
As Ukyo turned to stomp back to the kitchen yet again, Ranma leapt
up and grabbed her shoulder. "Hey, Ucchan, you're not being fair here!"
"Yeah, don't go away mad! It's not his fault!" put in Akane,
standing up just behind Ranma. "Whatever happened yesterday happened
again today, and that's what made him late!"
Ukyo slowly turned to face her, then jabbed an index finger into
Akane's face. "And YOU...! You were supposed to make sure whatever
happened yesterday didn't happen again! But not only did you totally
fail to do that, then you show up at the restaurant along with him,
butting in on our date again!"
"Your date?" Akane shot back. "Who gave you permission to date Ranma
anyway?"
"Oh, don't act all high-and-mighty with me! You probably let him
pass out in that alley again just to keep him away from me! Admit it!"
Sparks lanced through the air between the girls as their tempers
grew strong enough to take on physical form. Ranma tentatively waved his
hand in front of their faces. "Uh, girls? Maybe you should try to work
this out peacefully -"
"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!" they shouted in unison, punching him out the
front door.
Akane was the first to return to her senses, staring at her fist in
shock. "What did I just do?"
Ukyo shrugged. "What's the big deal? You get pissed at Ranma all the
time."
Akane's face fell. "You're right.... I do. I never realized how much
I was hurting him. Or rather, I never stopped to think about it until
now. I always just lose my temper at the worst times and take it out on
poor Ranma."
Ukyo blinked several times in surprise. "Hey, Akane, now you're
acting just as weird as Ranma was. What's up with that?"
Tears welled up in Akane's eyes. "I can't believe I would...." She
wiped the tears away and ran to the door. "If Ranma comes back, tell him
I'm sorry!" she called out as she fled the restaurant without looking
back.
Ukyo shook her head. "I just don't get it. Whatever happened to them
is making them both act weird now, and it happens whenever Ranma tries
to come to my restaurant. I guess Akane probably isn't the one doing
it.... Could Shampoo be behind it somehow, even if she was here
yesterday when it happened the first time? I can't think of any other
explanation!"
The eerie silence that followed her declaration seemed incredibly
out of place for some reason. She turned around to see her customers
watching her intently, too petrified to move or say anything. Sighing,
she raised a hand to her forehead and reminded herself that it wasn't
wise to upset the customers. The new business had cost her far too much
to let it fail so soon after opening. "Sorry about that, folks," she
apologized. "To make up for disturbing your quiet mealtime atmosphere,
I'd like to give each of you a certificate good for a free personal
okonomiyaki on your next visit."
Silence greeted this offer too, for the first few minutes. Finally,
it was broken by a man sitting near the front door. "Hey, that sounds
like a good deal."
Relief flooded Ukyo's heart. There was a lot more effort involved in
running a real business, especially with patrons like Ranma and
Akane.... But in the frenzy of trying to make and hand out the
certificates, even that obvious segue failed to remind her of her
earlier train of thought concerning Ranma and Akane's odd behavior.
*************************************************
Ranma shivered as the cold hose water ran down her body, cleaning
the okonomiyaki sauce from her hair and face. "Better wait 'till Ukyo
calms down before going back there," she decided aloud. "Maybe she and
Akane will manage to work things out without killing each other." She
dropped the hose, turned off the spigot, and shrugged. "Nah. I'm
probably going to have to patch things up with Akane first, and then get
her to talk to Ukyo again. They're going to have to learn to get along
eventually."
She turned to head back to the Tendo Dojo, but froze in her tracks.
"Wait a second. That makes way too much sense. When have I ever come up
with a good idea?" It was a blow to her pride to admit that it was an
unlikely prospect, but compared to the current circumstances, even her
vanity was a minor concern. "Ukyo and Akane were right. I am acting
weird. Even weirder than yesterday. The question is, why? What exactly
happened, and how exactly has it changed me? What's the best way to find
out?"
Pondering her predicament, Ranma set off for home again, only to
stop a few seconds later, this time in response to the last voice she
wanted to hear. "Pigtailed girl, I have found you at last!" Kuno shouted
joyously, running toward her at top speed.
Ranma spun around and raised a foot to the spot where Kuno's face
met it moments later. "I really don't have the time or the patience to
deal with you right now, Kuno. So just go back to looking for your
sister and let me get back to my own business."
Kuno pried his face from her sole and grabbed her ankle to prevent
her from leaving. "I'm afraid I cannot allow that this time," he
announced. "For into my hands has come a great secret, one that I know
you wish to hide from certain parties, and my excitement at this
opportunity is such that I can contain it no longer! We must act
immediately, 'ere my heart bursts from the anticipation!"
"I don't care about your -" Ranma began, before her newly-altered
brain caught up with her ears. "Wait, did you say something about a
secret?"
"Indeed," confirmed Kuno with great relish. "Can you deny me my
prize in light of this windfall?"
Ranma ignored Kuno as per usual as she tried to puzzle out what the
heck he was talking about. He already knew about the Cat-Fist, and that
wasn't much of a secret to begin with. In fact, most of Ranma's past had
already become public knowledge at some point or another, and most of it
didn't affect her anymore anyway, once it had been uncovered and dealt
with. About the only other part of her life that was still even in
effect, which Kuno didn't know about, was.... "What secret are you
talking about?" she asked, still unwilling to believe that Kuno could
possibly have figured THAT out.
Kuno smiled. "Why, it would be this, of course," he said, pulling
from behind his back the hand that Ranma hadn't noticed him hiding. What
it held was undeniably a steaming kettle, and there was only one secret
that it could possibly be a part of. But how could Kuno have learned
about her gender-changing secret after proving so stubbornly resistant
to it for such a long time? ... Then again, Ranma had been going through
some startling mental changes herself, and Akane seemed to have changed
as well after her encounter with whatever had left them in that alley.
Maybe the same thing had happened to Kuno, miraculously giving him the
brainpower to understand the true nature of Ranma's curse. And if that
was the case, it was a VERY powerful force.
Kuno was still staring intently at Ranma, waiting for an answer,
which reminded her of the other reason that the situation was so wrong.
"You know about my curse, and you STILL want to go out with me? I had no
idea you swung that way."
"That I would choose you over Akane Tendo is no coincidence,"
boasted Kuno, completely missing Ranma's implication. "But you are
indeed correct to be wary, for my affection for Akane has not diminished
in the slightest. I am, however, willing to devote thee my full
attention for the while, until your heart is mine, whence I shall again
resume the quest for her love and yours." He held Ranma's hand and gazed
at her with stars in his eyes. "Fear not, my love. You shall both
receive all of Tatewaki Kuno, age -"
Ranma silenced him with another kick in the face. "I don't even want
half of you, Kuno. And you should know why. I don't like guys!"
"So you say," said Kuno, clenching the fist that held the kettle.
"But I know it is a spell, that I must break at any cost!"
"It's not a spell," Ranma said far too patiently. "I'm a guy." Then,
she reconsidered her words. "Well, I guess the curse COULD be considered
a spell...."
"Exactly!" Kuno spouted triumphantly. "And that is why we must date
immediately and restore your twisted sensibilities to their rightful
state!"
"Who's twisted?" asked Ranma, pulling her hand out of Kuno's grip at
last.
Kuno shook a warning finger disapprovingly. "I fully anticipated
this hard-to-get routine well in advance," he declared, raising the
teakettle. "Do not make me use your worst fear against you!"
"My worst fear?" Ranma queried skeptically. "It's not like I'm
afraid of being my old self. Heck, give that here and I'll pour it on
myself!"
"Oh, the bravery!" cried Kuno with fake tears in his eyes. "But
alas, such an act cannot belie the truth of your inner turmoil. I know
all too well of the one who would seek to use this knowledge against
you, and cannot allow her that privilege. But still, if you will not
agree to a date, I must tell all!"
Ranma froze yet again in mid-reach for the kettle. "Did you say...?"
Kuno nodded solemnly. "Yes, I know how disastrous it would be if
your mother were to discover this tragic secret. It would be akin to the
end of your young life. But, if I cannot have you, then no other man
shall, this I vow!"
Ranma's face turned an unhealthy shade of green as she realized that
Kuno was dead serious. He wanted a date, even now that he knew Ranma was
in fact male, and if Ranma didn't agree, Kuno would tell her mother
about the curse, and she'd have to kill herself. Kuno was indeed
well-informed, if nothing else. "How did you finally figure all of this
out?" she asked.
Kuno shook his head. "My honor forbids me to reveal my source.
Suffice it to say that the price I paid for the information was indeed
well-spent."
Ranma clenched her fists. "Nabiki...." It all made sense now. This
was clearly her revenge for the groping incident the day before. Well,
she was going to get hers, eventually... but there was this situation to
deal with first. Ranma swallowed what little remained of her pride and
gave Kuno the sad puppy-dog eyes treatment. "Oh, Kuno dear... you
couldn't possibly do something to hurt little me, could you?"
Kuno's breath caught in his throat. "Oh, my delicate flower. Of
course, such a thing is completely unthinkable!" Ranma started to sigh
with relief before he continued. "And yet, I must stand firm! As I was
taught, this is my only course! It is written: 'Never back down from
what you know to be the correct path!'"
"'It is written' where, exactly?" asked Ranma.
Kuno stepped back to a respectable distance, and Ranma finally
noticed how tightly his fist was clenched around the handle of the
kettle. Suddenly, he raised a finger to point ominously at Ranma. "I
shall expect your answer tonight, pigtailed girl!"
"My name isn't 'pigtailed girl'," Ranma reminded him. "It's Ran-"
"Shush! Such beauty should not be sullied by so vile a thing as a
name," interrupted Kuno, lost in the moment.
Ranma snorted. "Whatever. But I have no intention of going out with
you, even if you do know my secret. Go ahead and tell my mom if you
want. I don't think you have the guts."
Kuno smiled slyly. "That we shall see, my goddess. By this eve, you
will no longer be able to resist my overbearing charm!"
"Full of yourself today, eh?" retorted Ranma. "Don't count on that
date, pal. It ain't happening."
"We shall see," repeated Kuno.
"I'd move if I were you," warned Ranma. "I have the sudden urge to
aim a kick right where you're standing."
"Ah, the energetic fire of youth that blazes so -" Kuno's voice
immediately cut out as Ranma made good on her threat, sending her
erstwhile suitor flying.
"I warned him," she reminded herself. "But why I didn't just let him
have it in the first place, I have no idea. I've gotta figure out what's
wrong with me." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I guess I could go
ask Dr. Tofu. If anyone can figure out what's happened to me, he
probably can."
With a destination in mind, she turned and set off, sighing to
herself as she realized that she should have claimed the kettle from
Kuno before punting him. "I wonder if he was really serious about that
threat.... Does he even KNOW Mom? And why the heck does he want a date
with me when he knows I'm a guy?" She shuddered at the only reason that
came to mind and quickly changed tacks, thinking about ways to escape
the impending date without her secret being exposed. Some things were
best left unexplained.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOSS: Excuse me while I weigh those very... weighty... choices.
BOSS: Does anyone know what "heads" means?
My not-so-humble webpage of fanfiction and other random junk has MOVED:
http://nidoking.anifics.com Update your bookmarks!
.---Anime/Manga Fanfiction Mailing List----.
| Administrators - ffml-admins@anifics.com |
| Unsubscribing - ffml-request@anifics.com |
| Put 'unsubscribe' in the subject |
`---- http://ffml.anifics.com/faq.txt -----'