Rob Kelk
18th January 2003, 01:08 AM
A Closer Distance
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Notes:
This is the sequel to "A Certain Distance", which appeared on
rec.arts.anime.creative during the last half of 2000. That story is
available on my website, at
<http://robkelk.ottawa-anime.org/fanfics/distance.html>,
and in the rec.arts.anime.creative archives, at
<ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works/Ranma/ranma.xover.a-certain-distance.gz>
Normally, I wouldn't use so many Japanese terms in an English-language
fanfic. However, I felt it was necessary this time because of the
slightly different meanings between some of the Japanese terms that
wouldn't survive translation to English. (For example, "neechan",
"neesan", and "oneesan" have slightly different meanings, but they
would all read as "big sister" if I had written them in English.)
I have twelve chapters planned, plus two prologues and an epilogue.
At this writing, Chapter Four has just gone to my pre-readers.
Disclaimers:
"Aah! Megami-sama" (or "Ah My Goddess!" or "Oh My Goddess!") was
created by Fujishima Kosuke, and is licenced to Kodansha, AnimEigo,
and Pioneer.
"Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon" (or "Sailor Moon") was created by
Takeuchi Naoko, and is licenced to Kodansha, TV Asahi, Toei Douga,
DIC Entertainment, Optimum Productions, ADV Films, and Pioneer
Entertainment.
"Ranma 1/2" was created by Takahashi Rumiko, and is licenced to
Shogakukan Inc., Kitty, Fuji TV, and Viz Communications.
No challenge is intended to any of these intellectual properties.
The character Dorllir was created by Larry Mann, and appears with his
permission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prologue One
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dorllir was in a really, really good mood. Not only did she finally
have an assignment of her own (well, except that Marller was still
involved because her assignment knew the Norns), but she also had
found her very own pet. "I'm back!"
"Who cares, you little pest?"
"And hello to you too, Marller. Look at the pretty black cat I found!
I'm going to keep her as a pet."
Marller looked at the cat in Dorllir's arms. After a moment, she
said, "At least it isn't a pig this time. Yeah, sure. Where'd you
find it? And what's with the bandage on its head?"
"She was living in the same apartment as my assignment. The poor
thing hasn't been getting any attention, so I decided to adopt her.
And ..."
"You *what*?"
Dorllir blushed. "Well, ..."
"You are *not* going to keep that cat if you took pity on it! We're
demons! We don't take pity on *anything*!"
"But I have to keep this cat! If I don't, she'll warn my assignment!"
Marller stared at Dorllir. "You expect me to believe that?"
In response, Dorllir took the bandage off the cat's forehead.
The cat looked Dorllir in the eye. "Let me go!"
"No way! You're my pet now!" Dorllir put the bandage back over the
crescent moon spot on the cat's forehead. "Besides, we can't have you
warning the Sailor Senshi about what I'm up to, can we, Luna?"
"Meow."
"That's a good girl." Dorllir put the now-helpless mooncat in her
room, then closed the door to trap Luna there.
Marller grinned. Now *that* was how a demon was supposed to act.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Prologue Two
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Skuld, Goddess Second Class, Limited Licence, you have been found
guilty of willfully breaking a promise made to a mortal. Do you have
anything to say before sentence is passed?"
She looked at Kami-sama. "I honestly thought I was abiding by the
letter of the contract."
"You were not. The next time you enter into a contract with a mortal,
if there *is* a next time, you would be well-advised to fully
understand all of the terms you use."
"I'm sorry."
"Your licence is suspended until you fulfill the promise you made.
I Have Spoken." The goddesses on either side of the Norn of the
Future (her sisters, not coincidentally) took her by the arms and
escorted her back to Earth.
Kami-sama watched them leave, then turned his awareness to a watching
Goddess. "I trust that you will take the steps necessary to ensure
this does not come to pass, Skuld-of-the-past."
Skuld awoke in a cold sweat.
That was no ordinary dream - it was a foreseeing. But she couldn't
think of any promises she had made to a mortal ...
.... except for the agreement she asked her eldest sister to make with
Saotome Genma, in order to grant Kuonji Ukyo's wish.
'Oh, bugs,' cursed Skuld to herself. 'Akane's going to be pissed
off ...'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter One: You Call *This* Proper Dinner Conversation?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
"Hello? Is anyone home?"
Hearing no answer, Skuld let herself in to the Tendo residence. She
had been welcome there for years, ever since she became Ranma's "other
fiancee". The fact that she didn't create havoc whenever she visited
only added to the Tendos' hospitality.
"Is someone there?" Kasumi walked out of the kitchen to find out who
had walked in to the house. "Oh, Skuld-chan, welcome!" (Kasumi was
the only person who Skuld still allowed to call her "-chan". Nobody
else tried using the dimunitive, though - Kasumi was also the only
person in Nerima under retirement age who could get away with calling
a 16-year-old "-chan".) "It's been a while since you last visited."
"It's only been a week ..."
"But that's a week when I haven't had a chance to pamper anyone.
I enjoy taking care of people, you know that, but Ranma-kun doesn't
really need my help in the dojo and both Akane and Nabiki spend most
of their time at college these days."
Skuld smiled despite herself. "Kasumi-neesan, sometimes you're so
much like Belldandy-oneesan that it's scary.
"And you remind me so much of my sisters when they were young,
Skuld-chan." Both girls giggled in the way that only long-time
friends can. "So, what brings you by?"
Skuld's smile vanished. "I need to talk to Ranma and Akane."
Kasumi noticed the younger girl's change in tone, but didn't comment
on it. "Akane isn't home yet - she has an evening course tonight.
Ranma-kun is in the dojo with some students right now. Do you want me
to interrupt his class?"
Skuld shook her head. "No, I need to talk to both of them together.
I suppose I should come back tomorrow."
"Oh, please don't go yet! We'd love to have you stay for dinner,
Skuld-chan."
"Well, if it isn't too much of a bother ..."
"It's no bother at all! Father, Nabiki, and Genma-san are visiting
Nodoka-san for dinner this evening, so there's plenty of room at the
table. Besides, two of Ranma-kun's students are staying for dinner as
well, and I think they'd like to see you."
Skuld's eyes widened. "You mean ... Yes! I'd love to see them
again! It's been months since we got to see each other last!"
"Then it's settled. One more for dinner."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dinner started off formally, but quickly became more relaxed. Until
Skuld asked the wrong question:
"Is Usagi still mad at me?"
The other two guests stopped eating.
"How can I put this ..."
"You can't - you're too polite. Yes, Skuld, you *are* still on
Usagi's 'shit list'."
"Makoto!"
"You'd sugar-coat it too much, Ami."
"You're probably right, but there's no need to swear ..."
"Students, that's enough," interrupted Ranma in a tone remarkably
similar to Tendo Soun at his most stoic. "You have answered Skuld's
question, and that's all that matters." He turned to Skuld, letting
himself shift from 'teacher' to 'friend'. "Yeah, you, me, Akane,
Belldandy-sama, Urd-san, Ryoga, Ucchan, the Amazons - we're all on
Usagi's list of people she'd rather see dead than talk to, even after
all this time."
"I wouldn't say it's that bad, Ranma-san," replied Ami. "Usagi
doesn't actually hate any of you."
"Maybe not, Ami, but she still ain't happy about us derailing the
whole Crystal Millenium thing. Even *I* can see that."
"You aren't that bad at noticing things, Ranma-san."
"Sure I am, Ami. Although sometimes I'll notice something even you
haven't."
Ami was surprised at her teacher's statement. "What would that be?"
"Think about it - Usagi never bothered to take her college entrance
exams, Makoto says she ain't trying to cook anything any more, and she
doesn't even try ta show up for her kempo lessons even once in a while
any more. And when was the last time anybody saw Sailor Moon around?
The rest of you are trying to find that cat burglar that's been
hitting jewelry stores in Juuban lately, but Usagi's stayed outta
that hunt. What you've told me and I've seen adds up to Usagi
withdrawing into her own little world, and that's my fault."
"When you put it that way, I can see how you're right," replied
Makoto. "But what's happening to Usagi isn't your fault, Ranma."
"Yes, it is. I know I ain't the brightest guy in the world, but I've
had a couple'a years to think about this. If it wasn't for us," Ranma
said while waving his hand at Skuld and towards the general direction
of the Goddesses' shrine, "the five of you'd be getting ready to rule
the world right now. Don't interrupt, Ami; I know I'm exaggerating.
As it is, you've gotta find other things to do with your lives. Now
Ami's gonna be a doctor, and Makoto's as good a cook as Ucchan or
Kasumi." Both Makoto and Kasumi smiled at the compliment of being
favourably compared to a professional chef. Ranma didn't notice.
"Rei's finally started her singing career, and thank Kami-sama that
she ain't an idol singer."
"Kami-sama had nothing to do with it," interrupted Skuld. "It was
Urd-neechan and I who convinced the record agent to move Rei-san from
the 'idol' list to their group of more serious singers."
"It was?"
Skuld looked at her lap. "I felt I owed her that much. She did help
me learn how to use my gift of foresight, after all."
"Well, thank the Goddesses of the Past and Future that Rei ain't an
idol singer, then."
"You're welcome."
"Anyway," continued Ranma, "Minako's in the same classes as Akane is,
so she'll have that to fall back on when she stops modelling. And her
older friends already had their lives planned out before they knew
they were Sailor Senshi. But what's Usagi got?"
Finally, Ami spoke up. "She has Mamoru-san."
Ranma smiled for a moment. "Yeah, they've got True Love. Not a lot
of people have that." His smile turned to a frown. "But that ain't
enough - me and Akane know that from personal experience. What's
Usagi gonna do with her life when Mamoru's at work?" The room fell
silent. "Yeah. She ain't got a lot of choices, and keeping to
herself ain't helping her any."
Afer a moment, Kasumi cleared her throat. "Ranma-kun, how did the
classes go today?"
Happy for the change of subject, Ranma answered quickly. "The new
students are doing pretty good. All except that Takahashi fella -
he's got more passion than skill, and that's hurting him. I'll get
Ryoga working with him to fix that when he and Akari are in town,
though."
Once Skuld had figured out the tortured grammar in Ranma's answer, she
turned to the woman beside her. "That reminds me - why are you
learning kempo and musabetsu kakuto ryu, Ami? Are the hospitals
around here that dangerous?"
Ami laughed. "No, Skuld, you're perfectly safe in any Japanese
hospital. I'm learning the martial arts so I can stay in shape and
protect myself without transforming in case I need to. More
importantly, the musabetsu kakuto ryu style helps me focus my Senshi
abilities, which should give me an edge against that cat burglar, if
the thief is as good as the rumours say."
Just then, Happosai burst in, shouting "What a haul! What a haul!"
He noticed the people around the table. "Pretty ladies! Hello!" He
jumped at Ami's chest.
Ami quickly stood up, transformed to Sailor Mercury, fired a Shiny
Aqua Illusion at Happosai, transformed back, and sat down at a
different place at the table before anyone other than Ranma could
react. "And it helps protect me against perverts," she said as the
now-frozen Happosai continued in his arc past the table and out the
door, bounced twice, and finally stopped in the koi pond.
Everyone stared at Ami for a moment. Finally, Ranma said, "Kasumi, we
won't be needing those chestnuts from the store next week after all.
Ami just demonstrated the kachu tenshin amaguriken to my
satisfaction."
"Nabiki will be happy to hear that, Ranma-kun," replied Kasumi as she
re-filled Skuld's rice bowl. "Congratulations, Ami-san."
Ami's reply was lost in the sound of steam coming from the koi pond.
"That wasn't very nice ..." they heard Happosai say through his battle
aura as he advanced on them all.
"My turn," said Skuld as she stood up and looked a few seconds into
the future. "Akane taught me *this* trick," she commented as she
pulled Mjolnir II from out of nowhere. Then she jumped forward and
swung the hammer like a croquet mallet, right into the point in
space-time where she had foreseen it would do the most good. Sure
enough, Happosai ended up flying away.
Skuld sat down to a round of polite applause.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Finally, after the Juuban duo left to see an evening movie, Akane
finished her evening class. "I'm home! Oh, Skuld's here! Hi,
Skuld!"
"Hello, Akane. Do you have a moment? You too, Ranma."
Akane couldn't help but notice the tone of Skuld's voice. "What's
wrong?" she asked as she sat down.
"Do you remember the way that I granted Ukyo's wish?"
Akane nodded. Ranma replied, "Yeah, you kept her father and Pops from
making that engagement agreement by making an engagement agreement
between your big sister and Pops instead."
"That's almost right, Ranma. The exact agreement was this: 'Saotome
Genma and Urd Odinsdotter agree that a son of Saotome and a sister of
Odinsdotter shall become affianced. This shall take effect on the day
that either of them turns sixteen.'"
"So?"
"So, 'affianced' doesn't exactly mean 'engaged'."
Akane's eyes grew wide. "You don't mean ..."
"I'm afraid so, Akane. Goddesses must always keep their promises, and
I promised to promise to *marry* Ranma. I'm sorry."
Both of the humans in the room were shocked.
Finally, Akane asked, "Isn't there any way out of this?"
Skuld shook her head. "Unless Genma has another son ..."
"Which he doesn't," interrupted Ranma.
"... either I or Belldandy-oneesan has to marry Ranma. And
Belldandy-oneesan has to stay with Keiichi-san for the rest of his
life. So that leaves me." A single tear escaped from Skuld's eye as
she said this. "I know you two have True Love. But I made a promise!
It isn't fair! Kami-sama, it isn't fair!!!"
Skuld's celphone rang.
Everyone looked at it for a moment. "You don't suppose ..." began
Akane.
"The only people who have that number are you two, Kasumi-neesan,
Belldandy-oneesan, and Kami-sama. And Belldandy-oneesan is on a date
with Keiichi-san tonight."
The celphone kept ringing.
"Well, you don't want to keep Him waiting, do ya?" Ranma asked.
"No! No, of course not!" Skuld answered the phone. "Hello? ...
Yes ... Yes, we thought it might be You calling ... Yes, I did just
tell them ... Really? ... We can *do* that? ... No, I'm not
doubting Your word, it just took me by surprise, that's all ... Thank
You, Kami-sama! 'Bye!"
Ranma was the first to ask. "So, what did He want?"
"I can't tell you yet," replied Skuld with a smile on her face. "But
I think He hinted that there's a way that everybody can end up
happy ..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Two: Better The Demon You Know ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dorllir was in the market, returning from the pet shop with a bag of
cat food for her pet/hostage, when she saw *him*.
As soon as she saw the mortal, Dorllir knew he was Mister Right.
Those beautiful eyes, those strong muscles, that hint of magic about
him (no, more than just a hint!) ... Yes, he was definitely the man
for her, even if he wasn't a demon!
She saw that he was holding hands with a girl, but that didn't
matter - how could any mortal girl compete with her? Then she saw the
person they were waiting for come out of the ice cream parlor and join
them.
"What on Earth?" Her very own Mister Right was waiting for a Norn?
Whatever was going on here, it was probably something either she or
Marller needed to know about. She turned invisible and followed the
trio.
Soon she was close enough to hear what they were saying.
"... really think that's going to work? Kasumi told me that someone
acting that way was probably suffering from clinical depression. That
isn't something you can cure with a martial arts move, Ranma."
So his name was Ranma. Such a wonderful name ...
"Kasumi ain't a doctor, Akane."
And the girl was named Akane ... Now she remembered! These two were
directly responsible for delaying the Crystal Millenium! If Dorllir
wasn't very careful, she risked re-starting the process that would put
demonkind out of business for a long, long time ... Reluctantly, she
decided Ranma was off-limits.
"Maybe Kasumi never went to medical school, but she's read most of
Toufuu-sensei's books!"
"Yeah, and Gosunkugi's read every book he can find about magic. That
don't make him a magician."
"Thank Kami-sama for that ..."
Ranma ignored Skuld's remark. "Look, we gotta do *something* for her.
My idea's worth a try, ain't it?"
"I don't think so, Ranma," replied Skuld. "Even if there is a 'cheer
up moxibustion technique', which I seriously doubt exists, how are you
of all people going to get close enough to Usagi to apply it?"
Did she say "Usagi"? She did! This was bad - they were planning on
interfering with her assignment! She had to do something! Since she
was invisible, she could use her power to make people think her
whispered phrases were their own ideas, but what could she whisper?
And in whose ear?
"Of course it exists, Skuld! I read the scroll in Happosai's room
myself!"
A-ha! Every demon, even Dorllir, had heard of Happosai! She
whispered in Akane's ear, "A technique from that pervert's collection
would probably turn her into a sex fiend!"
"A technique from *that* pervert's collection would probably turn her
into a sex fiend!!" Suddenly, Akane's mallet was in her hands, then
Ranma was embedded in the nearest wall. "Ranma no baka!!!"
Dorllir was appaled at Akane's use of her mallet. How could a mortal
know *that* technique?
"Akane, you haven't done *that* in years! Why did you hit Ranma
now?"
"Skuld, he was planning on using one of Happosai's techniques! You
know how dangerous those are!"
"That's no reason to hit him, Akane. You could have talked to him
instead. That's what I was about to do."
Dorllir couldn't resist whispering in Akane's ear again. "You just
want Ranma for yourself!"
"You just want Ranma for yourself! I thought we were friends ..."
And Akane ran off crying.
There was nothing quite as satisfying as using a person's friends to
make the person squirm, and making a Norn squirm that way was even
sweeter. Dorllir was quite happy with her trip to the market.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Three: Sisters and Other Friends
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Belldandy heard the door open and close, but almost didn't hear Skuld
say she was home. That wasn't like her younger sister - Whatever
could be the matter? Dinner could wait for a moment.
Stepping into the front hall, she saw Skuld sitting in the front hall,
not bothering to remove her shoes. While she couldn't see her
sister's face, Belldandy knew from Skuld's posture that she was
unhappy. "What's wrong, Skuld?"
The youngest Norn turned to her sister. Belldandy was shocked to see
tears on Skuld's cheeks. "Oh, Belldandy-oneesan ... I think
maybe ... I did ... something wrong, ... and ... and now Akane hates
me!" The floodgates burst, and the tears streamed down Skuld's face.
Belldandy didn't say anything; she held her sister close.
After a while, Skuld stopped crying. Belldandy helped her take her
shoes off, then lent her her support while they moved into the
kitchen.
"Why do you think Akane hates you, Skuld?"
"She ... she thinks I want to take Ranma away from her."
"Oh, my."
Skuld smiled a bit at Belldandy's comment. "Have you been talking
with Kasumi-neesan again, Belldandy-oneesan?"
Belldandy returned the smile. "Not recently, no. Why does Akane
think you want to take Ranma away from her?"
Skuld slowly described what she had seen happen that afternoon,
starting when she met Ranma and Akane outside the ice cream parlor and
continuing to when Akane ran off crying. "And when I called the Tendo
residence after helping Ranma get out of the wall Akane pushed him
into, Nabiki-san answered the phone and said that Akane didn't want to
talk to me."
"Did you try visiting Akane-san?"
Skuld shook her head. "She ... frightened me a bit, oneesan. She
had her 'Mallet-sama' out."
"I see. Skuld, would you mind making dinner for the family tonight?
I think that I need to visit Kasumi-san this afternoon."
Skuld's smile was back, if only slightly. "Thank you, oneesan."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It had been a while since Belldandy had visited with the Tendos.
After hearing what Skuld had told Belldandy, Kasumi invited her to
stay for dinner. Both women felt that the friendship between Skuld
and Akane was too precious to throw away over a misunderstanding, and
they hoped Belldandy would be able to play peacemaker.
Akane had other ideas.
"No, I am *not* going to talk to that fiancee-stealer! She's been
after Ranma all week because of some stupid promise, and I've had
enough of it!"
"Oh, my."
Everyone looked at Kasumi and Belldandy for a moment. Their saying
the same thing at the same time *had* to have been planned. Hadn't
it?
Belldandy continued alone. "Akane-san, a promise may be ill-advised,
or hastily-considered, but it is never 'stupid'. Doesn't a promise
reflect on the person making it?"
Akane thought about that for a moment. "I guess ... But Ranma's
supposed to be my fiancee! Why is Skuld so interested in him all of
the sudden?"
"She won't tell me that, Akane-san. All she said was that it was
something between her and Kami-sama."
"Then why doesn't she marry *Kami-sama*?!?"
Belldandy smiled at that mental image. "Actually, I think Kami-sama
should get out of the office more often, and that might be a good way
to get Him to do so. But Skuld's promise isn't with Him, it's with
Ranma. She doesn't have a choice in the matter."
"Everybody has a choice!"
"Every human has a choice, yes. But Goddesses and Demons don't - we
must keep any promises that we make. If we don't, then ... well, I'll
just say that bad things happen to us."
"Really," came the comment from down the table.
"Yes, Nabiki-san. But I don't know of any mortal who's learned that
fact and been able to profit from it. Even Keiichi sometimes suffers
because of the promise I made to him."
"Oh." Nabiki turned her attention back to her rice bowl.
Belldandy turned back to Akane, who was thinking about what Belldandy
had just said.
"I guess the promise wasn't stupid, Belldandy-san. But I still don't
know why Kami-sama allowed a promise like that to be made."
Belldandy sighed. Having looked in the Yggdrasil records, she knew
exactly why the promise had been allowed, but she didn't dare tell
Akane the reason.
Luckily, Akane wasn't waiting for an answer. "But what I want to know
is why Skuld took Ranma's side in the market today!"
"From what she told me, I thought she was taking *your* side,
Akane-san," replied the Norn. "I don't think anyone deserves to be
the subject of one of Happosai's techniques, no matter how much good
it might do her."
Genma cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but what's the problem with the
Master's techniques?"
Belldandy turned to the elder Saotome, who wilted under her gaze.
After a moment, she answered him with a question of her own. "Did you
get the instructions for the Neko-ken from your 'master'?"
Genma thought for a moment. "Why, yes, I think I did get that
Advanced Combat manual from the Master's pack after we sealed him
away ..." He looked at everyone else at the table staring at him.
"What's wrong?"
"'What's wrong', he asks," replied Nabiki. "Sometimes your level of
intellect amazes even me, Saotome-san."
"Why, thank you, child."
"That wasn't a compliment." Nabiki turned her attention back to her
dinner.
Belldandy turned back to Akane. "I think almost all of us agree that
Happosai's techniques should never be used. Skuld *was* agreeing with
you. She took your side against your fiancee."
"I guess ... Yeah, she was! So why did I get so upset with her?"
"I don't know, Akane-san. But I can find out, if you'll allow me to
look into your soul."
Akane paled. "You can *do* that?"
Belldandy smiled. "Yes, but it can be dangerous."
After a moment, Akane asked, "I'm a martial artist - I won't run from
the danger. When do you want to start?"
"I'd suggest we do this after dinner."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The two women made themselves comfortable in Akane's bedroom. Nabiki
watched from the doorway - Akane wanted her there in case something
went wrong, but Belldandy didn't want anyone to be close enough to
accidentally hurt either of them.
A touch on the proper shiatsu spot put Akane to sleep. Belldandy
looked Akane in the eyes, and suddenly wasn't there ...
.... because she was inside Akane's mind. "Hello?"
"Hi, Belldandy-san. This is ... different."
Belldandy smiled. "Yes, it is. Can you show me to your memories of
today, please?"
Akane took Belldandy's hand and lead the Norn through her mind. They
quickly reached that afternoon's memories. "Here we are,
Belldandy-san."
"Thank you, Akane-san." Belldandy looked at the memories for a while
from many different perspectives. She abruptly stopped, startling
Akane.
"What's wrong?"
"This." Belldandy pointed at a memory. Unlike the other memories,
which were all tinted scarlet, this one was a deep black. "You didn't
think this - someone else thought it for you."
Akane touched the memory. They both heard the words "You just want
Ranma for yourself! You just want Ranma for yourself!"
Akane turned to Belldandy. "That's what I said to Skuld after she
said I shouldn't have hit Ranma. But who said it before I did?"
"I don't know, Akane. I *do* know that it wasn't anyone who cares
about your welfare."
"Then ... whoever that was made me hate Ranma and Skuld? Oh, no!"
Belldandy held Akane close, paying close attention to the tears
running down her face. When Akane stopped crying, Belldandy let her
go. "I know it seems like I've only been here a few minutes, but it's
been hours since we started. I have to leave now, Akane-san, or you
might begin to suffer because of my presence. Please talk with Skuld
tomorrow."
Akane nodded her head quickly. "There's another person who might be
able to help us, too. I think Skuld and I should visit Rei-san
tomorrow, too."
Belldandy smiled as she left Akane's soul. There was hope for Akane
yet ...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was after midnight when Belldandy let herself into her home.
Sensing that everyone else was already asleep, she quietly made her
way to her own bedroom. As she passed the kitchen, she took a quick
look inside.
Her shriek woke everyone in the building.
When Skuld reached the kitchen door, Belldandy grabbed the front of
her pyjamas. "What ... what did you *do* to *my* *kitchen*?!?"
Skuld looked like she was about to cry. "I wanted to give you a
thank-you present ... don't you like the new kitchen gadgets I made
for you?"
"No, and don't try that look on me, young lady! I want this kitchen
back the way it was when I left this afternoon! And I want it back
before I wake up to make breakfast!"
"All right, oneesan ..."
Skuld was up all night removing the dozens of mini-Banpei kitchen
gadgets she had installed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Four: The Trick Is Knowing Who to Ask
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hino-san! You have a visitor!"
Rei put down the sheet music she was reading and turned to the
security guard. "If it's another autograph hound, tell him I'm busy."
"I don't think she's looking for an autograph, ma'am. She said to
tell you her name was Tendo ..."
"Send her in!"
A few minutes later, Akane was telling Rei what had happened to her
yesterday. "And when Belldandy-sama suggested I talk to Skuld about
whoever changed my mind, I thought that you might be able to help us
out, too. I know you have no reason to do me any favours ..."
Rei smiled at Akane. "Akane-san, I *do* have a reason to do you a
favour. You, Skuld-kun, Ranma-san, and your friends prevented the
Crystal Millenium, and that gave me the chance to become what I am
today. I'm sure that I wouldn't have been as happy being a princess
as I am when I'm on stage or in the recording studio."
Akane sighed with relief. "I'm happy you feel that way, Rei-san.
Sometimes when I'm in class, I can almost *sense* the resentment that
Minako-san has for me, and that makes it difficult to concentrate on
the lectures."
"Well, I'll have to have a talk with Minako some time, then. How are
your studies coming along, anyway?"
"Wonderfully! The children all like me almost as much as they like
Minako-san."
"I didn't realize that you were already getting work experience,
Akane-san. Are the children giving you any trouble?"
Akane smiled. "After living with Ranma for this long, *anything* a
room full of preschool children could do would be sane in comparison!"
Rei laughed at Akane's answer. "Yes, I suppose Ranma-san's lifestyle
*would* toughen everyone around him, too."
"That's for sure! But we've gotten away from why I came to see
you ..."
Rei stopped smiling. "Right. You and Belldandy-sama think that
someone, or something, is interfering with your life. If you can meet
me at the shrine after dinner tonight, I'll do a fire reading for
you. Maybe that'll help."
"Thanks, Rei-san. I'll see you this evening, then."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When the Sacred Fire died down, the room was as dark as Rei's mood.
"I'm sorry, Akane-san."
"It's all right, Rei-san. I'm sure that you did your best."
"It isn't that! I'm being blocked!"
"Blocked?"
Rei took a deep breath in order to calm herself. "Whatever it was
that made you think the way you did, it's able to hide itself from the
Sacred Fire. I don't know what to do now ..."
Akane thought for a moment. "Maybe if you had some help?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I don't know about this, Akane."
"Rei-san think's it's a good idea, Skuld."
Skuld thought for a moment. "Okay, I guess ..."
The two girls go off the bus and started climbing the steps to the
shrine. When they reached the top, Rei's grandfather saw them and
made his way over. "Ladies! How nice of you to grace us with your
presence again! Are you sure you don't want to become a shrine
maiden, Akane-chan?"
Akane smiled at the old priest. "Thank you for offering yet again,
but I must still decline. You know that my family's honour depends on
me marrying Ranma. Why don't you ask Skuld if she wants to be a
shrine maiden?"
"Now why would I want to offer her a demotion?"
Skuld looked at him in shock. "What do you mean?"
"You don't get to be my age without learning to notice a few things,
megami-sama. Oh, but I'm keeping you from seeing my granddaughter.
I'll let you go inside now. It was good to see you again, ladies!"
As the two women entered the shrine, Skuld shook her head in
amazement. "That was ... unsettling. I wonder what else he knows?"
"Does it matter, Skuld?"
"It might matter to Rei-sempai."
"What might matter to me?" came the question from the doorway.
"Rei-sempai! Hello! Your grandfather knew that I'm a Goddess, and I
was just wondering what else he knew."
"Oh, is that all?" Rei smiled. "Grandfather has been a priest for
longer than I've been alive, Skuld-san. Of course he's going to be
able to notice things like that."
Skuld shook her head quickly. "That isn't what I meant. If he knows
my secret, who else's secrets has he also figured out?"
"I'm not worried about that," replied Rei before Skuld could continue.
"If he has figured out anyone else's secrets, he hasn't told anybody.
That's good enough for me."
The three women entered the chamber of the Sacred Fire. "I've never
been in here before," commented Skuld. "It's ... relaxing."
"This is the Sacred Fire," Rei said as she led Skuld to it.
"Yes, I can see that. It's the only thing here with a resident kami."
"You can sense the kami of the Fire?" both Rei and Akane asked in
awe.
Skuld rolled her eyes. "Guys ... I *am* a megami." She turned to
the Sacred Fire. "Hello!"
"Hello!" it answered back.
Both Rei's and Akane's jaws hit the floor.
Skuld looked back at them, stared for a moment, then smiled. "Oh,
yeah - I forgot that mortals can see and hear the kami when we're
talking with them. I remember Urd-neechan mentioned that Keiichi-san
reacted the same way the first time she talked to the trolls that live
in the engine of the car he was driving." She turned back to the
Fire. "Would you come out and join us, please?"
The flame flickered for a moment, then a shape emerged from it. The
kami was definitely female - she looked something like Rei, and
something like Ukyo, except that she was only six inches tall and she
had firey red hair and eyes. She bowed to Skuld. "You honour me with
your presence, my patron."
"And you honour me with yours," replied Skuld. "Now, what's this that
Akane tells me about Rei being blocked last night?"
"Alas, Skuld-sama, I am not allowed to pass information to Rei-dono
about the demon she was investigating. The demon has forbidden it."
"So it *was* a demon." Skuld turned to Akane. "You and
Belldandy-oneesan were right."
"Can we find out *which* demon it was?"
Skuld turned back to the kami of the Sacred Flame. "Well?"
"I'm sorry, Skuld-sama. Marller has told me not to reveal that to
anyone who does not speak the proper password."
"Marller? I'd better call Urd-neesan and Belldandy-oneesan - they're
going to want to know about this."
"Oh, great," commented Rei. "Kami-sama, is Marller interfering with
anyone else's life?"
The kami of the Fire nodded her head. "I was wondering when you were
going to ask me about that. She and Dorllir are making life miserable
for both Usagi and Luna."
"Dorllir? Who's Dorllir?" asked Akane.
"She's ... I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to talk about that without
the proper password." The kami looked sad as she said that.
"This is more along Urd-neesan's specialty ..." muttered Skuld as she
turned to look straight at the kami of the Fire. "Kami-san, has this
Dorllir done anything to Akane, or anyone else I know?"
Tears of fire ran down the kami's cheeks. "I can't tell you that
without the proper password."
"What does Dorllir look like?"
"I can't tell you that without the proper password."
"Is Dorllir male or female?"
"I can't tell you that without the proper password."
Akane interrupted. "Well, what *is* the proper password?"
Skuld turned to Akane. "She probably can't answer that question,
either."
"Actually, Skuld-sama, ..." The kami's frown was gone. "Dorllir
never told me to keep the password secret. The password is
'Serenity'."
Skuld's jaw dropped. "What kind of demon is this Dorllir?"
"I can't tell you that without ..."
"'Serenity'."
"She's a novice who's only been in Earthrealm for a couple of years.
Her mission to demoralize Usagi is her first solo assignment - she's
been working as Marller's assistant up to now. She only messed with
Akane's mind because it was an easy way to cause you some grief,
Skuld-sama. She has the power to become invisible, and to whisper
thoughts into people's minds when she's invisible. She's a Demon
Second-class, Limited, and she came to Earthrealm through the 'Demon
Fashion Quarterly' magazine. She has blonde hair, she usually dresses
in black, her chest is flatter than Ak-"
"I think that's enough," interrupted Skuld abruptly.
"Sorry. I'm not used to being able to communicate directly; I guess I
was babbling."
"That's all right," replied Rei. "It's nice to be able to hear you
clearly for a change. Where can we find Dorllir?"
"I don't know. I'm sorry, Rei-dono."
After a moment of silence, Skuld smiled at the kami of the Sacred
Fire. "Thank you for joining us here. I know it can be unpleasant
for you to leave your Fire."
"It *is* cold out here, yes. May I return now, Skuld-sama?"
"Of course. You have done well."
The kami smiled at the compliment as she returned to the flames.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Rei watched as Skuld's latest Banpei put a protective covering over
the last of eight spirit wards she had set up on the inside of the
wall around the Tendo estate. "That should keep Ranma-san and
Akane-san safe, along with the rest of the Tendos."
"True, but they're not the biggest problem we have right now."
Rei nodded in agreement. "Would you help me set up wards around
Usagi, please?"
"If she'll tolerate our presence, I'd be glad to help, Rei-sempai."
Rei scowled at the thought that Usagi might not let them in. "You're
right - we're going to have to get into her home before we can help
her."
"And she isn't seeing anyone any more, is she?"
Rei thought for a moment. "There is one person she'll see. We're
just going to have to get his help, too."
Just then, Skuld's celphone rang. "Hello? ... Keiichi-san, what's
wrong? ... She's *where*?!? ... I'll meet you there. 'Bye."
"What's wrong?"
Skuld's face was pale. "My friend Sora is being held by the police."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To be continued...
--
Rob Kelk <http://robkelk.ottawa-anime.org/> robkelk -at- jksrv -dot- com
"I'm *not* a kid! Nyyyeaaah!" - Skuld (in "Oh My Goddess!" OAV #3)
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of
childishness and the desire to be very grown-up." - C.S. Lewis, 1947
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Notes:
This is the sequel to "A Certain Distance", which appeared on
rec.arts.anime.creative during the last half of 2000. That story is
available on my website, at
<http://robkelk.ottawa-anime.org/fanfics/distance.html>,
and in the rec.arts.anime.creative archives, at
<ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works/Ranma/ranma.xover.a-certain-distance.gz>
Normally, I wouldn't use so many Japanese terms in an English-language
fanfic. However, I felt it was necessary this time because of the
slightly different meanings between some of the Japanese terms that
wouldn't survive translation to English. (For example, "neechan",
"neesan", and "oneesan" have slightly different meanings, but they
would all read as "big sister" if I had written them in English.)
I have twelve chapters planned, plus two prologues and an epilogue.
At this writing, Chapter Four has just gone to my pre-readers.
Disclaimers:
"Aah! Megami-sama" (or "Ah My Goddess!" or "Oh My Goddess!") was
created by Fujishima Kosuke, and is licenced to Kodansha, AnimEigo,
and Pioneer.
"Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon" (or "Sailor Moon") was created by
Takeuchi Naoko, and is licenced to Kodansha, TV Asahi, Toei Douga,
DIC Entertainment, Optimum Productions, ADV Films, and Pioneer
Entertainment.
"Ranma 1/2" was created by Takahashi Rumiko, and is licenced to
Shogakukan Inc., Kitty, Fuji TV, and Viz Communications.
No challenge is intended to any of these intellectual properties.
The character Dorllir was created by Larry Mann, and appears with his
permission.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prologue One
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dorllir was in a really, really good mood. Not only did she finally
have an assignment of her own (well, except that Marller was still
involved because her assignment knew the Norns), but she also had
found her very own pet. "I'm back!"
"Who cares, you little pest?"
"And hello to you too, Marller. Look at the pretty black cat I found!
I'm going to keep her as a pet."
Marller looked at the cat in Dorllir's arms. After a moment, she
said, "At least it isn't a pig this time. Yeah, sure. Where'd you
find it? And what's with the bandage on its head?"
"She was living in the same apartment as my assignment. The poor
thing hasn't been getting any attention, so I decided to adopt her.
And ..."
"You *what*?"
Dorllir blushed. "Well, ..."
"You are *not* going to keep that cat if you took pity on it! We're
demons! We don't take pity on *anything*!"
"But I have to keep this cat! If I don't, she'll warn my assignment!"
Marller stared at Dorllir. "You expect me to believe that?"
In response, Dorllir took the bandage off the cat's forehead.
The cat looked Dorllir in the eye. "Let me go!"
"No way! You're my pet now!" Dorllir put the bandage back over the
crescent moon spot on the cat's forehead. "Besides, we can't have you
warning the Sailor Senshi about what I'm up to, can we, Luna?"
"Meow."
"That's a good girl." Dorllir put the now-helpless mooncat in her
room, then closed the door to trap Luna there.
Marller grinned. Now *that* was how a demon was supposed to act.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Prologue Two
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Skuld, Goddess Second Class, Limited Licence, you have been found
guilty of willfully breaking a promise made to a mortal. Do you have
anything to say before sentence is passed?"
She looked at Kami-sama. "I honestly thought I was abiding by the
letter of the contract."
"You were not. The next time you enter into a contract with a mortal,
if there *is* a next time, you would be well-advised to fully
understand all of the terms you use."
"I'm sorry."
"Your licence is suspended until you fulfill the promise you made.
I Have Spoken." The goddesses on either side of the Norn of the
Future (her sisters, not coincidentally) took her by the arms and
escorted her back to Earth.
Kami-sama watched them leave, then turned his awareness to a watching
Goddess. "I trust that you will take the steps necessary to ensure
this does not come to pass, Skuld-of-the-past."
Skuld awoke in a cold sweat.
That was no ordinary dream - it was a foreseeing. But she couldn't
think of any promises she had made to a mortal ...
.... except for the agreement she asked her eldest sister to make with
Saotome Genma, in order to grant Kuonji Ukyo's wish.
'Oh, bugs,' cursed Skuld to herself. 'Akane's going to be pissed
off ...'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter One: You Call *This* Proper Dinner Conversation?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
"Hello? Is anyone home?"
Hearing no answer, Skuld let herself in to the Tendo residence. She
had been welcome there for years, ever since she became Ranma's "other
fiancee". The fact that she didn't create havoc whenever she visited
only added to the Tendos' hospitality.
"Is someone there?" Kasumi walked out of the kitchen to find out who
had walked in to the house. "Oh, Skuld-chan, welcome!" (Kasumi was
the only person who Skuld still allowed to call her "-chan". Nobody
else tried using the dimunitive, though - Kasumi was also the only
person in Nerima under retirement age who could get away with calling
a 16-year-old "-chan".) "It's been a while since you last visited."
"It's only been a week ..."
"But that's a week when I haven't had a chance to pamper anyone.
I enjoy taking care of people, you know that, but Ranma-kun doesn't
really need my help in the dojo and both Akane and Nabiki spend most
of their time at college these days."
Skuld smiled despite herself. "Kasumi-neesan, sometimes you're so
much like Belldandy-oneesan that it's scary.
"And you remind me so much of my sisters when they were young,
Skuld-chan." Both girls giggled in the way that only long-time
friends can. "So, what brings you by?"
Skuld's smile vanished. "I need to talk to Ranma and Akane."
Kasumi noticed the younger girl's change in tone, but didn't comment
on it. "Akane isn't home yet - she has an evening course tonight.
Ranma-kun is in the dojo with some students right now. Do you want me
to interrupt his class?"
Skuld shook her head. "No, I need to talk to both of them together.
I suppose I should come back tomorrow."
"Oh, please don't go yet! We'd love to have you stay for dinner,
Skuld-chan."
"Well, if it isn't too much of a bother ..."
"It's no bother at all! Father, Nabiki, and Genma-san are visiting
Nodoka-san for dinner this evening, so there's plenty of room at the
table. Besides, two of Ranma-kun's students are staying for dinner as
well, and I think they'd like to see you."
Skuld's eyes widened. "You mean ... Yes! I'd love to see them
again! It's been months since we got to see each other last!"
"Then it's settled. One more for dinner."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dinner started off formally, but quickly became more relaxed. Until
Skuld asked the wrong question:
"Is Usagi still mad at me?"
The other two guests stopped eating.
"How can I put this ..."
"You can't - you're too polite. Yes, Skuld, you *are* still on
Usagi's 'shit list'."
"Makoto!"
"You'd sugar-coat it too much, Ami."
"You're probably right, but there's no need to swear ..."
"Students, that's enough," interrupted Ranma in a tone remarkably
similar to Tendo Soun at his most stoic. "You have answered Skuld's
question, and that's all that matters." He turned to Skuld, letting
himself shift from 'teacher' to 'friend'. "Yeah, you, me, Akane,
Belldandy-sama, Urd-san, Ryoga, Ucchan, the Amazons - we're all on
Usagi's list of people she'd rather see dead than talk to, even after
all this time."
"I wouldn't say it's that bad, Ranma-san," replied Ami. "Usagi
doesn't actually hate any of you."
"Maybe not, Ami, but she still ain't happy about us derailing the
whole Crystal Millenium thing. Even *I* can see that."
"You aren't that bad at noticing things, Ranma-san."
"Sure I am, Ami. Although sometimes I'll notice something even you
haven't."
Ami was surprised at her teacher's statement. "What would that be?"
"Think about it - Usagi never bothered to take her college entrance
exams, Makoto says she ain't trying to cook anything any more, and she
doesn't even try ta show up for her kempo lessons even once in a while
any more. And when was the last time anybody saw Sailor Moon around?
The rest of you are trying to find that cat burglar that's been
hitting jewelry stores in Juuban lately, but Usagi's stayed outta
that hunt. What you've told me and I've seen adds up to Usagi
withdrawing into her own little world, and that's my fault."
"When you put it that way, I can see how you're right," replied
Makoto. "But what's happening to Usagi isn't your fault, Ranma."
"Yes, it is. I know I ain't the brightest guy in the world, but I've
had a couple'a years to think about this. If it wasn't for us," Ranma
said while waving his hand at Skuld and towards the general direction
of the Goddesses' shrine, "the five of you'd be getting ready to rule
the world right now. Don't interrupt, Ami; I know I'm exaggerating.
As it is, you've gotta find other things to do with your lives. Now
Ami's gonna be a doctor, and Makoto's as good a cook as Ucchan or
Kasumi." Both Makoto and Kasumi smiled at the compliment of being
favourably compared to a professional chef. Ranma didn't notice.
"Rei's finally started her singing career, and thank Kami-sama that
she ain't an idol singer."
"Kami-sama had nothing to do with it," interrupted Skuld. "It was
Urd-neechan and I who convinced the record agent to move Rei-san from
the 'idol' list to their group of more serious singers."
"It was?"
Skuld looked at her lap. "I felt I owed her that much. She did help
me learn how to use my gift of foresight, after all."
"Well, thank the Goddesses of the Past and Future that Rei ain't an
idol singer, then."
"You're welcome."
"Anyway," continued Ranma, "Minako's in the same classes as Akane is,
so she'll have that to fall back on when she stops modelling. And her
older friends already had their lives planned out before they knew
they were Sailor Senshi. But what's Usagi got?"
Finally, Ami spoke up. "She has Mamoru-san."
Ranma smiled for a moment. "Yeah, they've got True Love. Not a lot
of people have that." His smile turned to a frown. "But that ain't
enough - me and Akane know that from personal experience. What's
Usagi gonna do with her life when Mamoru's at work?" The room fell
silent. "Yeah. She ain't got a lot of choices, and keeping to
herself ain't helping her any."
Afer a moment, Kasumi cleared her throat. "Ranma-kun, how did the
classes go today?"
Happy for the change of subject, Ranma answered quickly. "The new
students are doing pretty good. All except that Takahashi fella -
he's got more passion than skill, and that's hurting him. I'll get
Ryoga working with him to fix that when he and Akari are in town,
though."
Once Skuld had figured out the tortured grammar in Ranma's answer, she
turned to the woman beside her. "That reminds me - why are you
learning kempo and musabetsu kakuto ryu, Ami? Are the hospitals
around here that dangerous?"
Ami laughed. "No, Skuld, you're perfectly safe in any Japanese
hospital. I'm learning the martial arts so I can stay in shape and
protect myself without transforming in case I need to. More
importantly, the musabetsu kakuto ryu style helps me focus my Senshi
abilities, which should give me an edge against that cat burglar, if
the thief is as good as the rumours say."
Just then, Happosai burst in, shouting "What a haul! What a haul!"
He noticed the people around the table. "Pretty ladies! Hello!" He
jumped at Ami's chest.
Ami quickly stood up, transformed to Sailor Mercury, fired a Shiny
Aqua Illusion at Happosai, transformed back, and sat down at a
different place at the table before anyone other than Ranma could
react. "And it helps protect me against perverts," she said as the
now-frozen Happosai continued in his arc past the table and out the
door, bounced twice, and finally stopped in the koi pond.
Everyone stared at Ami for a moment. Finally, Ranma said, "Kasumi, we
won't be needing those chestnuts from the store next week after all.
Ami just demonstrated the kachu tenshin amaguriken to my
satisfaction."
"Nabiki will be happy to hear that, Ranma-kun," replied Kasumi as she
re-filled Skuld's rice bowl. "Congratulations, Ami-san."
Ami's reply was lost in the sound of steam coming from the koi pond.
"That wasn't very nice ..." they heard Happosai say through his battle
aura as he advanced on them all.
"My turn," said Skuld as she stood up and looked a few seconds into
the future. "Akane taught me *this* trick," she commented as she
pulled Mjolnir II from out of nowhere. Then she jumped forward and
swung the hammer like a croquet mallet, right into the point in
space-time where she had foreseen it would do the most good. Sure
enough, Happosai ended up flying away.
Skuld sat down to a round of polite applause.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Finally, after the Juuban duo left to see an evening movie, Akane
finished her evening class. "I'm home! Oh, Skuld's here! Hi,
Skuld!"
"Hello, Akane. Do you have a moment? You too, Ranma."
Akane couldn't help but notice the tone of Skuld's voice. "What's
wrong?" she asked as she sat down.
"Do you remember the way that I granted Ukyo's wish?"
Akane nodded. Ranma replied, "Yeah, you kept her father and Pops from
making that engagement agreement by making an engagement agreement
between your big sister and Pops instead."
"That's almost right, Ranma. The exact agreement was this: 'Saotome
Genma and Urd Odinsdotter agree that a son of Saotome and a sister of
Odinsdotter shall become affianced. This shall take effect on the day
that either of them turns sixteen.'"
"So?"
"So, 'affianced' doesn't exactly mean 'engaged'."
Akane's eyes grew wide. "You don't mean ..."
"I'm afraid so, Akane. Goddesses must always keep their promises, and
I promised to promise to *marry* Ranma. I'm sorry."
Both of the humans in the room were shocked.
Finally, Akane asked, "Isn't there any way out of this?"
Skuld shook her head. "Unless Genma has another son ..."
"Which he doesn't," interrupted Ranma.
"... either I or Belldandy-oneesan has to marry Ranma. And
Belldandy-oneesan has to stay with Keiichi-san for the rest of his
life. So that leaves me." A single tear escaped from Skuld's eye as
she said this. "I know you two have True Love. But I made a promise!
It isn't fair! Kami-sama, it isn't fair!!!"
Skuld's celphone rang.
Everyone looked at it for a moment. "You don't suppose ..." began
Akane.
"The only people who have that number are you two, Kasumi-neesan,
Belldandy-oneesan, and Kami-sama. And Belldandy-oneesan is on a date
with Keiichi-san tonight."
The celphone kept ringing.
"Well, you don't want to keep Him waiting, do ya?" Ranma asked.
"No! No, of course not!" Skuld answered the phone. "Hello? ...
Yes ... Yes, we thought it might be You calling ... Yes, I did just
tell them ... Really? ... We can *do* that? ... No, I'm not
doubting Your word, it just took me by surprise, that's all ... Thank
You, Kami-sama! 'Bye!"
Ranma was the first to ask. "So, what did He want?"
"I can't tell you yet," replied Skuld with a smile on her face. "But
I think He hinted that there's a way that everybody can end up
happy ..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Two: Better The Demon You Know ...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dorllir was in the market, returning from the pet shop with a bag of
cat food for her pet/hostage, when she saw *him*.
As soon as she saw the mortal, Dorllir knew he was Mister Right.
Those beautiful eyes, those strong muscles, that hint of magic about
him (no, more than just a hint!) ... Yes, he was definitely the man
for her, even if he wasn't a demon!
She saw that he was holding hands with a girl, but that didn't
matter - how could any mortal girl compete with her? Then she saw the
person they were waiting for come out of the ice cream parlor and join
them.
"What on Earth?" Her very own Mister Right was waiting for a Norn?
Whatever was going on here, it was probably something either she or
Marller needed to know about. She turned invisible and followed the
trio.
Soon she was close enough to hear what they were saying.
"... really think that's going to work? Kasumi told me that someone
acting that way was probably suffering from clinical depression. That
isn't something you can cure with a martial arts move, Ranma."
So his name was Ranma. Such a wonderful name ...
"Kasumi ain't a doctor, Akane."
And the girl was named Akane ... Now she remembered! These two were
directly responsible for delaying the Crystal Millenium! If Dorllir
wasn't very careful, she risked re-starting the process that would put
demonkind out of business for a long, long time ... Reluctantly, she
decided Ranma was off-limits.
"Maybe Kasumi never went to medical school, but she's read most of
Toufuu-sensei's books!"
"Yeah, and Gosunkugi's read every book he can find about magic. That
don't make him a magician."
"Thank Kami-sama for that ..."
Ranma ignored Skuld's remark. "Look, we gotta do *something* for her.
My idea's worth a try, ain't it?"
"I don't think so, Ranma," replied Skuld. "Even if there is a 'cheer
up moxibustion technique', which I seriously doubt exists, how are you
of all people going to get close enough to Usagi to apply it?"
Did she say "Usagi"? She did! This was bad - they were planning on
interfering with her assignment! She had to do something! Since she
was invisible, she could use her power to make people think her
whispered phrases were their own ideas, but what could she whisper?
And in whose ear?
"Of course it exists, Skuld! I read the scroll in Happosai's room
myself!"
A-ha! Every demon, even Dorllir, had heard of Happosai! She
whispered in Akane's ear, "A technique from that pervert's collection
would probably turn her into a sex fiend!"
"A technique from *that* pervert's collection would probably turn her
into a sex fiend!!" Suddenly, Akane's mallet was in her hands, then
Ranma was embedded in the nearest wall. "Ranma no baka!!!"
Dorllir was appaled at Akane's use of her mallet. How could a mortal
know *that* technique?
"Akane, you haven't done *that* in years! Why did you hit Ranma
now?"
"Skuld, he was planning on using one of Happosai's techniques! You
know how dangerous those are!"
"That's no reason to hit him, Akane. You could have talked to him
instead. That's what I was about to do."
Dorllir couldn't resist whispering in Akane's ear again. "You just
want Ranma for yourself!"
"You just want Ranma for yourself! I thought we were friends ..."
And Akane ran off crying.
There was nothing quite as satisfying as using a person's friends to
make the person squirm, and making a Norn squirm that way was even
sweeter. Dorllir was quite happy with her trip to the market.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Three: Sisters and Other Friends
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Belldandy heard the door open and close, but almost didn't hear Skuld
say she was home. That wasn't like her younger sister - Whatever
could be the matter? Dinner could wait for a moment.
Stepping into the front hall, she saw Skuld sitting in the front hall,
not bothering to remove her shoes. While she couldn't see her
sister's face, Belldandy knew from Skuld's posture that she was
unhappy. "What's wrong, Skuld?"
The youngest Norn turned to her sister. Belldandy was shocked to see
tears on Skuld's cheeks. "Oh, Belldandy-oneesan ... I think
maybe ... I did ... something wrong, ... and ... and now Akane hates
me!" The floodgates burst, and the tears streamed down Skuld's face.
Belldandy didn't say anything; she held her sister close.
After a while, Skuld stopped crying. Belldandy helped her take her
shoes off, then lent her her support while they moved into the
kitchen.
"Why do you think Akane hates you, Skuld?"
"She ... she thinks I want to take Ranma away from her."
"Oh, my."
Skuld smiled a bit at Belldandy's comment. "Have you been talking
with Kasumi-neesan again, Belldandy-oneesan?"
Belldandy returned the smile. "Not recently, no. Why does Akane
think you want to take Ranma away from her?"
Skuld slowly described what she had seen happen that afternoon,
starting when she met Ranma and Akane outside the ice cream parlor and
continuing to when Akane ran off crying. "And when I called the Tendo
residence after helping Ranma get out of the wall Akane pushed him
into, Nabiki-san answered the phone and said that Akane didn't want to
talk to me."
"Did you try visiting Akane-san?"
Skuld shook her head. "She ... frightened me a bit, oneesan. She
had her 'Mallet-sama' out."
"I see. Skuld, would you mind making dinner for the family tonight?
I think that I need to visit Kasumi-san this afternoon."
Skuld's smile was back, if only slightly. "Thank you, oneesan."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It had been a while since Belldandy had visited with the Tendos.
After hearing what Skuld had told Belldandy, Kasumi invited her to
stay for dinner. Both women felt that the friendship between Skuld
and Akane was too precious to throw away over a misunderstanding, and
they hoped Belldandy would be able to play peacemaker.
Akane had other ideas.
"No, I am *not* going to talk to that fiancee-stealer! She's been
after Ranma all week because of some stupid promise, and I've had
enough of it!"
"Oh, my."
Everyone looked at Kasumi and Belldandy for a moment. Their saying
the same thing at the same time *had* to have been planned. Hadn't
it?
Belldandy continued alone. "Akane-san, a promise may be ill-advised,
or hastily-considered, but it is never 'stupid'. Doesn't a promise
reflect on the person making it?"
Akane thought about that for a moment. "I guess ... But Ranma's
supposed to be my fiancee! Why is Skuld so interested in him all of
the sudden?"
"She won't tell me that, Akane-san. All she said was that it was
something between her and Kami-sama."
"Then why doesn't she marry *Kami-sama*?!?"
Belldandy smiled at that mental image. "Actually, I think Kami-sama
should get out of the office more often, and that might be a good way
to get Him to do so. But Skuld's promise isn't with Him, it's with
Ranma. She doesn't have a choice in the matter."
"Everybody has a choice!"
"Every human has a choice, yes. But Goddesses and Demons don't - we
must keep any promises that we make. If we don't, then ... well, I'll
just say that bad things happen to us."
"Really," came the comment from down the table.
"Yes, Nabiki-san. But I don't know of any mortal who's learned that
fact and been able to profit from it. Even Keiichi sometimes suffers
because of the promise I made to him."
"Oh." Nabiki turned her attention back to her rice bowl.
Belldandy turned back to Akane, who was thinking about what Belldandy
had just said.
"I guess the promise wasn't stupid, Belldandy-san. But I still don't
know why Kami-sama allowed a promise like that to be made."
Belldandy sighed. Having looked in the Yggdrasil records, she knew
exactly why the promise had been allowed, but she didn't dare tell
Akane the reason.
Luckily, Akane wasn't waiting for an answer. "But what I want to know
is why Skuld took Ranma's side in the market today!"
"From what she told me, I thought she was taking *your* side,
Akane-san," replied the Norn. "I don't think anyone deserves to be
the subject of one of Happosai's techniques, no matter how much good
it might do her."
Genma cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but what's the problem with the
Master's techniques?"
Belldandy turned to the elder Saotome, who wilted under her gaze.
After a moment, she answered him with a question of her own. "Did you
get the instructions for the Neko-ken from your 'master'?"
Genma thought for a moment. "Why, yes, I think I did get that
Advanced Combat manual from the Master's pack after we sealed him
away ..." He looked at everyone else at the table staring at him.
"What's wrong?"
"'What's wrong', he asks," replied Nabiki. "Sometimes your level of
intellect amazes even me, Saotome-san."
"Why, thank you, child."
"That wasn't a compliment." Nabiki turned her attention back to her
dinner.
Belldandy turned back to Akane. "I think almost all of us agree that
Happosai's techniques should never be used. Skuld *was* agreeing with
you. She took your side against your fiancee."
"I guess ... Yeah, she was! So why did I get so upset with her?"
"I don't know, Akane-san. But I can find out, if you'll allow me to
look into your soul."
Akane paled. "You can *do* that?"
Belldandy smiled. "Yes, but it can be dangerous."
After a moment, Akane asked, "I'm a martial artist - I won't run from
the danger. When do you want to start?"
"I'd suggest we do this after dinner."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The two women made themselves comfortable in Akane's bedroom. Nabiki
watched from the doorway - Akane wanted her there in case something
went wrong, but Belldandy didn't want anyone to be close enough to
accidentally hurt either of them.
A touch on the proper shiatsu spot put Akane to sleep. Belldandy
looked Akane in the eyes, and suddenly wasn't there ...
.... because she was inside Akane's mind. "Hello?"
"Hi, Belldandy-san. This is ... different."
Belldandy smiled. "Yes, it is. Can you show me to your memories of
today, please?"
Akane took Belldandy's hand and lead the Norn through her mind. They
quickly reached that afternoon's memories. "Here we are,
Belldandy-san."
"Thank you, Akane-san." Belldandy looked at the memories for a while
from many different perspectives. She abruptly stopped, startling
Akane.
"What's wrong?"
"This." Belldandy pointed at a memory. Unlike the other memories,
which were all tinted scarlet, this one was a deep black. "You didn't
think this - someone else thought it for you."
Akane touched the memory. They both heard the words "You just want
Ranma for yourself! You just want Ranma for yourself!"
Akane turned to Belldandy. "That's what I said to Skuld after she
said I shouldn't have hit Ranma. But who said it before I did?"
"I don't know, Akane. I *do* know that it wasn't anyone who cares
about your welfare."
"Then ... whoever that was made me hate Ranma and Skuld? Oh, no!"
Belldandy held Akane close, paying close attention to the tears
running down her face. When Akane stopped crying, Belldandy let her
go. "I know it seems like I've only been here a few minutes, but it's
been hours since we started. I have to leave now, Akane-san, or you
might begin to suffer because of my presence. Please talk with Skuld
tomorrow."
Akane nodded her head quickly. "There's another person who might be
able to help us, too. I think Skuld and I should visit Rei-san
tomorrow, too."
Belldandy smiled as she left Akane's soul. There was hope for Akane
yet ...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It was after midnight when Belldandy let herself into her home.
Sensing that everyone else was already asleep, she quietly made her
way to her own bedroom. As she passed the kitchen, she took a quick
look inside.
Her shriek woke everyone in the building.
When Skuld reached the kitchen door, Belldandy grabbed the front of
her pyjamas. "What ... what did you *do* to *my* *kitchen*?!?"
Skuld looked like she was about to cry. "I wanted to give you a
thank-you present ... don't you like the new kitchen gadgets I made
for you?"
"No, and don't try that look on me, young lady! I want this kitchen
back the way it was when I left this afternoon! And I want it back
before I wake up to make breakfast!"
"All right, oneesan ..."
Skuld was up all night removing the dozens of mini-Banpei kitchen
gadgets she had installed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter Four: The Trick Is Knowing Who to Ask
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hino-san! You have a visitor!"
Rei put down the sheet music she was reading and turned to the
security guard. "If it's another autograph hound, tell him I'm busy."
"I don't think she's looking for an autograph, ma'am. She said to
tell you her name was Tendo ..."
"Send her in!"
A few minutes later, Akane was telling Rei what had happened to her
yesterday. "And when Belldandy-sama suggested I talk to Skuld about
whoever changed my mind, I thought that you might be able to help us
out, too. I know you have no reason to do me any favours ..."
Rei smiled at Akane. "Akane-san, I *do* have a reason to do you a
favour. You, Skuld-kun, Ranma-san, and your friends prevented the
Crystal Millenium, and that gave me the chance to become what I am
today. I'm sure that I wouldn't have been as happy being a princess
as I am when I'm on stage or in the recording studio."
Akane sighed with relief. "I'm happy you feel that way, Rei-san.
Sometimes when I'm in class, I can almost *sense* the resentment that
Minako-san has for me, and that makes it difficult to concentrate on
the lectures."
"Well, I'll have to have a talk with Minako some time, then. How are
your studies coming along, anyway?"
"Wonderfully! The children all like me almost as much as they like
Minako-san."
"I didn't realize that you were already getting work experience,
Akane-san. Are the children giving you any trouble?"
Akane smiled. "After living with Ranma for this long, *anything* a
room full of preschool children could do would be sane in comparison!"
Rei laughed at Akane's answer. "Yes, I suppose Ranma-san's lifestyle
*would* toughen everyone around him, too."
"That's for sure! But we've gotten away from why I came to see
you ..."
Rei stopped smiling. "Right. You and Belldandy-sama think that
someone, or something, is interfering with your life. If you can meet
me at the shrine after dinner tonight, I'll do a fire reading for
you. Maybe that'll help."
"Thanks, Rei-san. I'll see you this evening, then."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
When the Sacred Fire died down, the room was as dark as Rei's mood.
"I'm sorry, Akane-san."
"It's all right, Rei-san. I'm sure that you did your best."
"It isn't that! I'm being blocked!"
"Blocked?"
Rei took a deep breath in order to calm herself. "Whatever it was
that made you think the way you did, it's able to hide itself from the
Sacred Fire. I don't know what to do now ..."
Akane thought for a moment. "Maybe if you had some help?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I don't know about this, Akane."
"Rei-san think's it's a good idea, Skuld."
Skuld thought for a moment. "Okay, I guess ..."
The two girls go off the bus and started climbing the steps to the
shrine. When they reached the top, Rei's grandfather saw them and
made his way over. "Ladies! How nice of you to grace us with your
presence again! Are you sure you don't want to become a shrine
maiden, Akane-chan?"
Akane smiled at the old priest. "Thank you for offering yet again,
but I must still decline. You know that my family's honour depends on
me marrying Ranma. Why don't you ask Skuld if she wants to be a
shrine maiden?"
"Now why would I want to offer her a demotion?"
Skuld looked at him in shock. "What do you mean?"
"You don't get to be my age without learning to notice a few things,
megami-sama. Oh, but I'm keeping you from seeing my granddaughter.
I'll let you go inside now. It was good to see you again, ladies!"
As the two women entered the shrine, Skuld shook her head in
amazement. "That was ... unsettling. I wonder what else he knows?"
"Does it matter, Skuld?"
"It might matter to Rei-sempai."
"What might matter to me?" came the question from the doorway.
"Rei-sempai! Hello! Your grandfather knew that I'm a Goddess, and I
was just wondering what else he knew."
"Oh, is that all?" Rei smiled. "Grandfather has been a priest for
longer than I've been alive, Skuld-san. Of course he's going to be
able to notice things like that."
Skuld shook her head quickly. "That isn't what I meant. If he knows
my secret, who else's secrets has he also figured out?"
"I'm not worried about that," replied Rei before Skuld could continue.
"If he has figured out anyone else's secrets, he hasn't told anybody.
That's good enough for me."
The three women entered the chamber of the Sacred Fire. "I've never
been in here before," commented Skuld. "It's ... relaxing."
"This is the Sacred Fire," Rei said as she led Skuld to it.
"Yes, I can see that. It's the only thing here with a resident kami."
"You can sense the kami of the Fire?" both Rei and Akane asked in
awe.
Skuld rolled her eyes. "Guys ... I *am* a megami." She turned to
the Sacred Fire. "Hello!"
"Hello!" it answered back.
Both Rei's and Akane's jaws hit the floor.
Skuld looked back at them, stared for a moment, then smiled. "Oh,
yeah - I forgot that mortals can see and hear the kami when we're
talking with them. I remember Urd-neechan mentioned that Keiichi-san
reacted the same way the first time she talked to the trolls that live
in the engine of the car he was driving." She turned back to the
Fire. "Would you come out and join us, please?"
The flame flickered for a moment, then a shape emerged from it. The
kami was definitely female - she looked something like Rei, and
something like Ukyo, except that she was only six inches tall and she
had firey red hair and eyes. She bowed to Skuld. "You honour me with
your presence, my patron."
"And you honour me with yours," replied Skuld. "Now, what's this that
Akane tells me about Rei being blocked last night?"
"Alas, Skuld-sama, I am not allowed to pass information to Rei-dono
about the demon she was investigating. The demon has forbidden it."
"So it *was* a demon." Skuld turned to Akane. "You and
Belldandy-oneesan were right."
"Can we find out *which* demon it was?"
Skuld turned back to the kami of the Sacred Flame. "Well?"
"I'm sorry, Skuld-sama. Marller has told me not to reveal that to
anyone who does not speak the proper password."
"Marller? I'd better call Urd-neesan and Belldandy-oneesan - they're
going to want to know about this."
"Oh, great," commented Rei. "Kami-sama, is Marller interfering with
anyone else's life?"
The kami of the Fire nodded her head. "I was wondering when you were
going to ask me about that. She and Dorllir are making life miserable
for both Usagi and Luna."
"Dorllir? Who's Dorllir?" asked Akane.
"She's ... I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to talk about that without
the proper password." The kami looked sad as she said that.
"This is more along Urd-neesan's specialty ..." muttered Skuld as she
turned to look straight at the kami of the Fire. "Kami-san, has this
Dorllir done anything to Akane, or anyone else I know?"
Tears of fire ran down the kami's cheeks. "I can't tell you that
without the proper password."
"What does Dorllir look like?"
"I can't tell you that without the proper password."
"Is Dorllir male or female?"
"I can't tell you that without the proper password."
Akane interrupted. "Well, what *is* the proper password?"
Skuld turned to Akane. "She probably can't answer that question,
either."
"Actually, Skuld-sama, ..." The kami's frown was gone. "Dorllir
never told me to keep the password secret. The password is
'Serenity'."
Skuld's jaw dropped. "What kind of demon is this Dorllir?"
"I can't tell you that without ..."
"'Serenity'."
"She's a novice who's only been in Earthrealm for a couple of years.
Her mission to demoralize Usagi is her first solo assignment - she's
been working as Marller's assistant up to now. She only messed with
Akane's mind because it was an easy way to cause you some grief,
Skuld-sama. She has the power to become invisible, and to whisper
thoughts into people's minds when she's invisible. She's a Demon
Second-class, Limited, and she came to Earthrealm through the 'Demon
Fashion Quarterly' magazine. She has blonde hair, she usually dresses
in black, her chest is flatter than Ak-"
"I think that's enough," interrupted Skuld abruptly.
"Sorry. I'm not used to being able to communicate directly; I guess I
was babbling."
"That's all right," replied Rei. "It's nice to be able to hear you
clearly for a change. Where can we find Dorllir?"
"I don't know. I'm sorry, Rei-dono."
After a moment of silence, Skuld smiled at the kami of the Sacred
Fire. "Thank you for joining us here. I know it can be unpleasant
for you to leave your Fire."
"It *is* cold out here, yes. May I return now, Skuld-sama?"
"Of course. You have done well."
The kami smiled at the compliment as she returned to the flames.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Rei watched as Skuld's latest Banpei put a protective covering over
the last of eight spirit wards she had set up on the inside of the
wall around the Tendo estate. "That should keep Ranma-san and
Akane-san safe, along with the rest of the Tendos."
"True, but they're not the biggest problem we have right now."
Rei nodded in agreement. "Would you help me set up wards around
Usagi, please?"
"If she'll tolerate our presence, I'd be glad to help, Rei-sempai."
Rei scowled at the thought that Usagi might not let them in. "You're
right - we're going to have to get into her home before we can help
her."
"And she isn't seeing anyone any more, is she?"
Rei thought for a moment. "There is one person she'll see. We're
just going to have to get his help, too."
Just then, Skuld's celphone rang. "Hello? ... Keiichi-san, what's
wrong? ... She's *where*?!? ... I'll meet you there. 'Bye."
"What's wrong?"
Skuld's face was pale. "My friend Sora is being held by the police."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To be continued...
--
Rob Kelk <http://robkelk.ottawa-anime.org/> robkelk -at- jksrv -dot- com
"I'm *not* a kid! Nyyyeaaah!" - Skuld (in "Oh My Goddess!" OAV #3)
"When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of
childishness and the desire to be very grown-up." - C.S. Lewis, 1947