Daniel Gibson
17th January 2003, 01:19 PM
Nerima District, Present day, Tendo Dojo
"Akane's been kidnaped by Klingons!" Soun as Tearful Waterfall.
"Hmm, ransom note. 700 million," Nabiki replied, "We'll let them eat
her cooking for a week, and agree to take her back for a nice round
billion."
"If they're really space aliens, they'll probably _love_ her cookin',"
Ranma said.
"Oh! How can you be so cruel!" Tearful waterfall.
"Okay, three days, four tops," Nabiki agreed and began arranging the
terms.
Earth Orbit, Imperial Klingon Battlecruiser Grand Almighty Exalted
Omnipotent Tax-exempt Invincible Stomper, The latest 'Aggravated
Benevolence-class'
"How could you spoil gak! You just open the container and pour it in
a bowl!" Captain Kaghorn the Significant shouted.
"They were so slimy, I just washed them off!" Akane shouted back, "And
you just wait until Ranma hears about this! He'll rescue me!"
"This is REACTOR cleaner!" the Captain shouted, "Can you do nothing
right?!"
"Well I made the rokeg blood cupcakes," Akane desperately wanted to
prove to someone she was a good cook, but their ingredients were so . . .
icky.
"You put rokeg blood - cupcakes - in a refrigeration cabinet?" the
Captain asked.
"Oh course," Akane was nonplused, "Well somebody like them, they're
all gone. And so is everything else. Except this." She pulled a fist-
sized ball of beige fur out of the cabinet.
The Captain was pleased to see, despite the frost, it moved. "Well,
give it here, I will taste it."
"But it's so cute," Akane reluctantly handed it over the softly cooing
creature, she wasn't sure if eating it alive was worse than killing it
first.
The Captain noted with satisfaction that is squirmed slightly, it was
alive. Then it squealed like a red alert siren at five-times speed. "How
can something so small make such a noise!"
"You're scaring it!" Akane replied defensively.
"I meant to eat it." The Captain hurled the creature at a wall, firing
his disruptor at it in the air, a good hit. He turned to his aide, "Get
this one off my ship!"
"Yes Captain! What of this Nabiki's demand of payment?" the aide
asked.
"What is she going to do, fire her back into space at us?"
The aide stared at the - thing - Akane's cooking produced, then at his
Captain, "Respectfully, sir . . . "
"Include the money," the Captain ordered.
The aide grabbed Akane and hurried off, Captain Kaghorn was wise.
The Captain walked over to the smoking corpse, it made that
forehead-flattening noise again, he stepped down on it, satisfied it was
finally dead. He would hear that noise in his nightmares, for the rest of
his life. He could still hear it, faintly.
He thumbed the intercom, "Archivist, signal this system quarantined
for the next hundred years, if a mere school girl could create such a
monstrosity with just our galley."
"Aye, Captain." The Archivist needed no further elaboration. He'd
eaten before the Captain had, and was pleased to die for the Empire.
In a nearby ventilation shaft, a dozen beige, brown, black and white
objects rolled along, keeping silent for the moment.
I'm not saying that's how it happened, I'm just suggesting a
possibility.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, items or themes portrayed
here, except Captain Kaghorn, who I bought on Ebay for a plug nickel and
half a piece of used chewing gum, the receipt was in crayon.
I'm a bad person.
C&C , Flames are welcome
E-mail: dan_s.comments@worldnet.att.net
"Akane's been kidnaped by Klingons!" Soun as Tearful Waterfall.
"Hmm, ransom note. 700 million," Nabiki replied, "We'll let them eat
her cooking for a week, and agree to take her back for a nice round
billion."
"If they're really space aliens, they'll probably _love_ her cookin',"
Ranma said.
"Oh! How can you be so cruel!" Tearful waterfall.
"Okay, three days, four tops," Nabiki agreed and began arranging the
terms.
Earth Orbit, Imperial Klingon Battlecruiser Grand Almighty Exalted
Omnipotent Tax-exempt Invincible Stomper, The latest 'Aggravated
Benevolence-class'
"How could you spoil gak! You just open the container and pour it in
a bowl!" Captain Kaghorn the Significant shouted.
"They were so slimy, I just washed them off!" Akane shouted back, "And
you just wait until Ranma hears about this! He'll rescue me!"
"This is REACTOR cleaner!" the Captain shouted, "Can you do nothing
right?!"
"Well I made the rokeg blood cupcakes," Akane desperately wanted to
prove to someone she was a good cook, but their ingredients were so . . .
icky.
"You put rokeg blood - cupcakes - in a refrigeration cabinet?" the
Captain asked.
"Oh course," Akane was nonplused, "Well somebody like them, they're
all gone. And so is everything else. Except this." She pulled a fist-
sized ball of beige fur out of the cabinet.
The Captain was pleased to see, despite the frost, it moved. "Well,
give it here, I will taste it."
"But it's so cute," Akane reluctantly handed it over the softly cooing
creature, she wasn't sure if eating it alive was worse than killing it
first.
The Captain noted with satisfaction that is squirmed slightly, it was
alive. Then it squealed like a red alert siren at five-times speed. "How
can something so small make such a noise!"
"You're scaring it!" Akane replied defensively.
"I meant to eat it." The Captain hurled the creature at a wall, firing
his disruptor at it in the air, a good hit. He turned to his aide, "Get
this one off my ship!"
"Yes Captain! What of this Nabiki's demand of payment?" the aide
asked.
"What is she going to do, fire her back into space at us?"
The aide stared at the - thing - Akane's cooking produced, then at his
Captain, "Respectfully, sir . . . "
"Include the money," the Captain ordered.
The aide grabbed Akane and hurried off, Captain Kaghorn was wise.
The Captain walked over to the smoking corpse, it made that
forehead-flattening noise again, he stepped down on it, satisfied it was
finally dead. He would hear that noise in his nightmares, for the rest of
his life. He could still hear it, faintly.
He thumbed the intercom, "Archivist, signal this system quarantined
for the next hundred years, if a mere school girl could create such a
monstrosity with just our galley."
"Aye, Captain." The Archivist needed no further elaboration. He'd
eaten before the Captain had, and was pleased to die for the Empire.
In a nearby ventilation shaft, a dozen beige, brown, black and white
objects rolled along, keeping silent for the moment.
I'm not saying that's how it happened, I'm just suggesting a
possibility.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, items or themes portrayed
here, except Captain Kaghorn, who I bought on Ebay for a plug nickel and
half a piece of used chewing gum, the receipt was in crayon.
I'm a bad person.
C&C , Flames are welcome
E-mail: dan_s.comments@worldnet.att.net