e.wink
12th January 2003, 08:28 AM
CHAPTER ONE
The doors to the turbolift slide open. Ranma stands up
and looks over to the doors. Well I'll be a son of a -
Ryouga Hibiki! Ranma was happy to see his old friend, well;
he considered them friends, even though Ryouga considered
them mortal enemies.
Ryouga walked onto the bridge and looked at Ranma.
"Ranma Saotome. So you're the Captain here?" Ryouga
asked.
Ranma nods. Shampoo slides close to Ranma. "Shampoo
Ranma's number one."
Ranma growls. Not quite as loud as Ryouga though. Oh
great. Thought Ranma. Here comes the 'how dare you treat
Akane that way you <insert dirty name of the week here>'
Ranma was surprised when Ryouga just shook his head.
"Ensign Ryouga Hibiki, Helm Officer." Ryouga turned
around and took his seat at helm.
Ranma was frightened. Space was big. Getting lost in
space could be very unhealthy. Just ask that Will Robinson
fellow. Ranma almost smiled as he envisioned Mousee-Duck
flapping his wings screaming Danger Ranma Saotome! Danger!
As Ranma sat down he became more and more relieved
that the computer did a majority of the steering, and the
operations officer could override just about anything else.
Maybe all would be well.
"Well. What say we ditch this Popsicle stand and get
to the Finden system?"
Ranma was greeted with a "Sure" from Mousse, a more
enthusiastic "Let's Rock" from Commander Aino, Ryouga just
groaned, and Shampoo, well, she was standing. Ranma assumed
she wanted to guide the ship out of the space dock. Ranma
grinned at her.
"Commander Shampoo. Would you do the honors of guiding
us out of here?"
Shampoo brightly grinned. "Ok. Shampoo the boss now,
Ryouga. Forward thrusters, 300 KPH. Go."
The engines began to hum. Ranma loved that sound. It
made him feel at peace. It made him have a reason to live.
It made him happy.
THUMP! KLANG! CRASH!
Thump? Klang? CRASH?! That's not good. Of course when
is Thump, Klang, Crash ever good? Ranma took a good look at
the view screen. They were still in the space dock. He
looked at Shampoo. Shampoo was not happy.
"STUPID BOY! SHAMPOO SAY FORWARD! FORWARD!"
"SORRY!!" Ryouga yelled back.
"Captain?"
"Yes Mousse?" Ranma responded.
"The Captain of the USS Parkway Point McDonald's wants
us to exchange insurance information with him."
Ranma scowled. He had just gotten the parking ticket
from when he parked in the handicap space at seven-11-
thousand a few months ago.
"Send the information. And Ryouga, please be more
careful. Forward is the arrow pointing, well, forward."
Ryouga mumbled what kind of sounded like a "Yes I
know" under his breath. The ship finally started to move
forward. Ranma sat back down.
Shampoo steps up closer behind Ryouga to make sure if
he hit the wrong button again, she could fix it before the
damaged anything else. "Ok. Mousse. Get permission to
depart." The amazon ordered.
Mouse stood up perfectly straight, gliding his fingers
across his panel. "YES! Shampoo my love!"
"SHAMPOO NO LOVE YOU MOUSSE! Shampoo Commander. Mousse
Lt. Mousse not call Shampoo, Shampoo."
That should have hurt mousse, but the years and years
of rejection have made that man a brick wall. He just goes
with the flow.
"Yes Commander lover!"
Ranma quickly hopped up and snatched the phaser that
Shampoo was drawing. He then sat back down.
Mousse grinned. "Permission granted! Space doors
opening!"
Shampoo turned to the view screen. "Ryouga. Increase
speed to 500 KPH. Once clear of big doors, set course 1-2-3
mark 2-0-9. Warp six"
"Yes ma'am." Ryouga complied. Ranma looked somewhat
worried still. There was not that much extra room for the
ship to get through the doors safely. But, all he has to do
is keep her even and keep her going straight and - We're
high. Ranma stood right up. Shampoo screamed.
"TOO HIGH! GO DOWN GO DOWN!" Shampoo screamed.
The ship was not going to clear the top of the doors.
As a matter of fact, the ship was going to completely miss
the doors by about 100 meters too high!
"RYOUGA! Z MINUS 350 METERS! NOW!!!" Ranma screamed.
Ryouga was frantically hitting buttons. Random button
pushing on a trillion dollar starship is another thing that
should be on the 'bad idea' list.
The ship started to do barrel rolls. Shampoo decided
to scream again and hit the deck.
"SHIT! FULL STOP! HIT THE BREAKS!" Ranma screamed.
Ryouga hit a button. He then said "Oops."
Ranma's jaw hit the deck now. "Oops?"
The Sisko had turned completely upward, and was flying
at 800 KPH towards the roof of the space dock.
Ranma ran over to Mina's console. "AINO!! TAKE HELM!
STOP US!!"
Mina started running her hands over her panel.
Ryouga's went blank, and the helm configuration popped up
on hers. She began to hit buttons, trying to stop the ship.
Mousse picked this time to freak out. "10 SECONDS TO
COLLISION WITH THE ROOF OF THE SPACE DOCK!" Mousse began to
run in circles, losing his glasses in the process.
"MOUSSE! SHIELDS UP!" Ranma yelled, tension in his
voice. He was rarely scared, but at this moment, he was
scared shitless.
Mousse ran to his panel and hit a few buttons. A
familiar sound was heard, but it was not the sound of the
shields.
Outside from the front of the ship a red glowing
sphere flew towards the roof. Ranma knew what it was. He
turned to Mousse.
"Did you just -"
"Fire a torpedo? Yes."
"Aw swell."
"Captain," Mina whimpered. "I shut down the engines,
but we have to much forward motion. Even with reverse
thrusters at full we're going to collide!"
It was at this time the torpedo hit the roof of the
space dock, blowing a hole in it. The ship managed to float
right through this new exit, and safely into open space.
Ranma could only just stare at the screen. All the
stars seemed to look like his ass being kicked by Rear-
Admiral Happosai. The COM panel behind him beeped. Mousse,
who had found his glasses, answered it.
"Captain, Rear-Admiral Happosai for you. He doesn't
sound happy." Mousse sniveled.
Suddenly Happosai's face appeared on the viewer.
"DOESN'T SOUND HAPPY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!" The short
man bellowed. "DON'T YOU MORONS KNOW HOW TO USE THE DOOR?"
Ranma looked up at the admiral. "Sorry?"
This is another term Ranma had learned usually does
more bad than good. This time, it seemed to make Happosai's
face change from the beet red it was, to a mixture of beet
red and really pissed off blue.
"SORRY? YOU BETTER BE! THE NEW ROOF IS COMING OUT OF
ALL YOUR PAYCHECKS! NOW GET TO FINDEN NOW!" The screen
returned to stars. Ranma walked over to Shampoo and helped
her up. Shampoo was still in shock, so she didn't even
think of glomping onto Ranma.
"Well, Number One. You heard him. Set a course to the
Finden system. Warp eight this time. And also, call a staff
meeting of all the senior staff in the conference room in
ten minutes."
Shampoo only had the ability to nod at Ranma, as he
walked into his ready room to cry. There goes the Lexus!
? ? ? ?
Akane had just made herself comfortable in her office
chair again. The jostling of the ship had knocked her on
her ass several times. She finally decided she would just
stay on the floor till everything was better. It finally
stopped. She sat back in her chair propped her feet up and
then the chirp. She hated the chirp.
Of course they weren't polite enough to use the comm.
badges to contact her. They used the ships comm. system.
Which of course was on the other side of sick bay.
"The chairs here may be comfortable, but the designers
need to have a mental evaluation." Akane grumbled out loud
to her self. A couple of medical techs threw a look her
way, but she dismissed it. Just because she talked to
herself doesn't mean she was crazy.
"Does it?" She asked no one.
It pissed her off to no end when she found out it was
Shampoo on the other end of the communication. Then she
found out she would have to trek all the way up to the
bridge for a conference.
"No, they can't put the conference room in a more
central location, can they?!" She growled. She noticed the
techs checking her out again.
"AS YOU WERE!" She screamed. The techs ran to a
different part of sickbay.
Akane just starts to walk out of sickbay when her door
slides open. A young blonde girl with really odd hair
walks, no hobbles in. She's bawling up a storm. Akane
rushes right over to her, and helps her up onto an exam
table.
"Are you OK?" Akane asks the girl.
"WAAAAAAAA! I think not! I think I broke my
epidermal!" The poor slob of a girl cries. Akane has no
idea what the girl is talking about, but it works out okay
because the girl doesn't have any clue either.
Akane grabs her tricorder and scans the girl. It
appears she sprained her ankle. She sure is making a big
deal out of it.
It's about this time Akane notices the pips on her
collar.
"Lt. Commander?!" Akane gasps out loud. What kind of
Lt. Commander is this kind of a cry baby?
"Yes?" The girl responded between sobs.
"What's your name?" Akane walked over to a cabinet,
hoping to find the sprain-fixer-thingamajig.
"Serena. Serena Tsukino."
"Well, Commander, you have a sprained ankle. No
biggie, easy to fix. I think." Akane walked back over. She
found some device that looked like it should work, so she
decided to try it. She ran the device over Serena's bad
ankle. She then checked it with the tricorder. It worked.
The ankle was a good as new.
"Serena. Tell me how you did this."
"Well Doc, I was in engineering and when the ship
shifted real hard earlier, I fell down and, well, you know
the rest."
Akane was confused now.
"What were you doing in engineering? That place is
very dangerous."
Serena giggles. "That's what I keep telling them, but
they said since I am Chief Engineer, I need to spend a
majority of my work day down there."
Akane collapses. "YOU!? You're the Chief Engineer?"
"Yup. Funny isn't it?"
Sure. In a sadistic whips and chains sort of way.
"Yeah." Akane tried to chuckle. "I guess you need to
go to that staff meeting too then, huh?"
"Yeah." Serena grins. "Do you want to walk up there
together?"
"Yeah!" Akane nods.
Serena goes to hop off the exam table, but ends up on
her face.
"WAAAAAAA!!"
? ? ? ?
Farther down in the saucer section of the ship was the
ship's councilor's office. The young lady who got that job
was busy unpacking, and it took Shampoo a couple of tries
to get her attention.
This kid was pissed. Seems to be a recurring theme
with this crew. She had finally gotten the picture of her
Grandpa to hang strait when BOOM! The whole damn ship
shook, not only knocking it crooked, but right off the
wall. She decided that she wasn't going to get to that
meeting until she got the picture set up again.
After a few seconds of fidgeting with it, she got it
going. She smiled. The first time she has smiled since she
was transferred off of the moon colony. She didn't want
this assignment, but she wanted to move up the ranks. Right
now she held the rank of Lt. Commander, but she wanted to
be a captain. But, that's everyone in Starfleet's goal. And
as anyone will tell you, you won't become a captain sitting
behind a desk.
The last thing she needed to do was put her name
plaque on her desk. It's a special name plaque. It was
given to her by an old friend of hers, that she hasn't seen
for years. The plaque had her name inscribed, and a rose
painted on it as well.
Well, now that that's done, time to get to the bridge.
She walked out of her office, and the door hissed shut
behind her.
"Damn that hiss!" She murmured. She hated that hiss
more than just about anything. Even the automatic doors at
Wal-Mart in the freakin' 20th century were quiet!
As she walked down the hallway towards the turbolift,
she couldn't help but notice that there were some very
handsome men on this ship. Even though she had no interest
in being here she did have to acknowledge that it could do
wonders for her love life. There were times when she didn't
worry about those kinds of things, but it was different
now. After he reportedly died at the hands of Mad Cow
infected Big Mac, she stopped looking for men. She thought
that the whole universe had it out for her. It was bad
enough that he was DESTINED to be with someone else but
just as they started to have some problems he died. Why did
everything bad happen to her?
It was lucky for her though her grandpa had her apply
at Starfleet Academy. While she was at the academy she met
lots of men. But no one warned her about San Francisco. All
the men were gay. Even the Vulcan ones! But they did teach
her a few things about herself, including dealing with her
bisexuality.
Eventually she arrived at a turbolift. She had the
distinct problem of always talking the longest route to
turbolifts. She hated meetings, so she was never in a hurry
to get to them.
The girl hit the call button and frustratedly taps her
foot while she waits. She also hated waiting for a
turbolift. For something called 'turbo', they sure as hell
didn't move very fast. Lucky for her she doesn't have to
wait long. Before she knew it the doors slid open. She
nearly passed out when she saw who was in it.
"Serena?"
Serena turned away from Akane and looked at the girl.
He eyes widened and teared up. She hadn't seen this old
friend in years.
"RAYE!" Serena embraced Raye in a tight hug. Raye
returned the hug. Even though the two of them didn't get
along that well, they were still very good friends. When
the group of five split up, they figured they would never
meet again.
Raye and Serena walked back into the turbolift. The
doors hissed shut and the lift continued on its trip to the
bridge. Serena turned to Akane.
"Akane, this is Raye Hino. A very good friend of
mine."
Akane and Raye shook hands. "Nice to meet you Raye. I
am the ships CMO. What do you do?"
Raye smiled. "I'm the ships counselor."
"Oh! So you are headed in the same direction as Serena
and I!"
Raye nodded. "It would appear that way. Serena, what
on Earth are you doing here? And what are you doing wearing
Lt. Commander pips?"
Serena giggled. "I'm the ship's Chief Engineer."
A look of doom came over Raye. "Wow Serena. Someone
must dislike the people on this ship."
Serena started the waterworks. "I haven't seen you in
years and you're still mean to me! WAAAAAAAAA!"
Raye put her hand on Serena's shoulder. "Serena, you
know I am just kidding." Raye turns towards the front of
the lift car. "Sort of."
The lift came to a stop. The doors hissed open. The
group stepped out onto the bridge. Akane looked around.
"Where's Ranma?"
Shampoo walked up to Akane. "Ranma in ready room.
Shampoo in charge. What you want?"
"We're here for the meeting you called." Akane fumed.
"Go to conference room. We be in shortly." Shampoo
walked down the ramp and back into the Captain's chair.
"Well, Akane. I see you two are good friends." Raye
mused.
Akane just let out a half chuckle half grunt as she
led the others into the conference room.
? ? ? ?
Akane, Serena, and Raye were in a conversation of
their own when Ranma, Shampoo, Mousse, Mina, and Ryouga
walked into the room. Raye and Serena gleefully stood up
and ran to Mina when they saw her.
"Mina! Long time!" Raye said!
"I've missed you, Mina!" Serena added.
Mina smiled. "And I you, my friends."
Ranma just stood there grinning. "I see you are all
aquatinted! This will save us some time. Let's all be
seated and get this over with. For those of you who don't
know me, I am Captain Ranma Saotome. I will go around the
table, so, to my left is our XO, Commander Shampoo.
"Next to her is our Chief of Security, and Tactical
Officer, Lt. Mousse.
"Next is our - " Ranma has to pause and try and figure
out the logic behind this one. "- our Chief Helm Officer,
Ensign Ryouga Hibiki."
"Nice steering out of the space dock, Ensign." Raye
Scorned.
"Be nice, counselor." Ranma shot at her.
"Yes sir."
Ryouga just stuck his tongue out at Raye.
"Ensign!" Ranma spat.
"What?!" Ryouga whimpered, trying his best to sound
innocent.
"Next to Ryouga is our Chief Medical Officer, Akane
Tendo. As long as you don't let her make your chicken soup,
you'll be OK." Ranma ducks a flying tricorder.
"Over here to my right is Lt. Commander Mina Aino.
She's our Operations Officer, and Chief Science Officer.
Next to her is Lt. Commander Raye Hino. Raye is the ship's
counselor. If you have any problems, I am sure she would be
more than happy to help you out."
Raye, without being seen, shoots a 'yeah thanks a lot'
look at Ranma.
"And last, but certainly not least, next to Miss Hino
is Lt. Commander Serena Tsukino. She is our Chief
Engineer."
Ranma paused for a few seconds, allowing everyone to
throw a 'nice to meet you' nod at each other. He then
continued.
"I think this will be one of the best crews Starfleet
has ever assembled. I also think that with a lot of hard
work, we can achieve things that no other ship has ever
achieved. The Sisko is the most advanced ship ever built by
the Federation. We should be very careful not to scratch
her up." Ranma rolled his eyes toward Ryouga. "Anymore."
Raye leans over to Mina. "Yeah. New record. Ship to
have the fastest warp core breach out of space dock." Mina
just gives her the 'be nice' look.
"There will be a reception for you all in ten-forward
at 1800. I look forward to seeing you all there. First
let's take care of some business. Commander Aino, what's
our ETA to Finden?"
Mina punches something up on her computer. "Twelve
hours, Seven minutes sir."
"Good." Ranma grinned. "Time for some work, and some
play. Dismissed all. Oh, Miss Hino, if you could, when
you're not with a patient, please be on the bridge? In case
we run into anyone where I could use your insight."
Raye nods. "Yes captain." She rolls her eyes. Good
thing I'm booked.
"Thank you." Ranma smiles as Raye walks off.
Ranma walks over to the observation windows. He gazes
out at the stars flying by. He never understood how that if
they are going faster than the speed of light you could see
the stars to each side and behind the ship, but he wasn't
worried about things like that. It was pretty.
Akane walks up next to him. "You really think this is
one of the best crews?"
Ranma turns to Akane, then back to the stars. "No.
We're screwed."
Akane turns to Ranma. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, one, my XO won't keep her hands - uh - " Ranma
notices how Akane is looking at him. "hands off my
computer. My CMO has no medical experience."
"Hey." Akane interjects. "I cured a sprained ankle
today."
"Well I'm proud of you. But we will have more than
sprained ankles if this report is true."
"What report?" She asked.
"I got a report from Starfleet Command a little while
ago. The Kuno activity in the outer region is increasing.
That's why they are sending us to Finden. The Federation
doesn't give a damn about the ships. They're annoying,
sure, but not something to send it's most armed ship too."
"Oh I see."
"My Chief Engineer has had more on the job accidents
then they entire explosives team, the dangerous situations
team and the on-purpose accidents team had combined!"
"She was the one with the sprained ankle."
"Figures. Our counselor has been reprimanded for being
mean to the patients. My weapons officer is blind and my
helmsman is an idiot!"
"What about Commander Aino?"
"She's a good officer, but she's never been in combat before.
She's be perfect if all we were up to was charting nebulas."
"Oh. Seems your Dad wasn't happy with you."
"It would seem not."
Akane sighed. "Well, come on down to ten-forward. Have
a few drinks. It'll make you feel better."
Ranma laughed. "That's all this ship needs, a drunk
Captain. Can you imagine that? A drunk captain."
Akane starts to walk away. "1800. I will be expecting
you."
Ranma sighs an acknowledgment. The doors hiss shut
behind Akane. Ranma closes his eyes, and just continues to
stand, facing the stars as they whisk by.
--
Erin Michael Winking
http://www.douglasavenue.com
ewink's FUNKDAFIED ranma 1/2 site
http://funkdafied.douglasavenue.com
The doors to the turbolift slide open. Ranma stands up
and looks over to the doors. Well I'll be a son of a -
Ryouga Hibiki! Ranma was happy to see his old friend, well;
he considered them friends, even though Ryouga considered
them mortal enemies.
Ryouga walked onto the bridge and looked at Ranma.
"Ranma Saotome. So you're the Captain here?" Ryouga
asked.
Ranma nods. Shampoo slides close to Ranma. "Shampoo
Ranma's number one."
Ranma growls. Not quite as loud as Ryouga though. Oh
great. Thought Ranma. Here comes the 'how dare you treat
Akane that way you <insert dirty name of the week here>'
Ranma was surprised when Ryouga just shook his head.
"Ensign Ryouga Hibiki, Helm Officer." Ryouga turned
around and took his seat at helm.
Ranma was frightened. Space was big. Getting lost in
space could be very unhealthy. Just ask that Will Robinson
fellow. Ranma almost smiled as he envisioned Mousee-Duck
flapping his wings screaming Danger Ranma Saotome! Danger!
As Ranma sat down he became more and more relieved
that the computer did a majority of the steering, and the
operations officer could override just about anything else.
Maybe all would be well.
"Well. What say we ditch this Popsicle stand and get
to the Finden system?"
Ranma was greeted with a "Sure" from Mousse, a more
enthusiastic "Let's Rock" from Commander Aino, Ryouga just
groaned, and Shampoo, well, she was standing. Ranma assumed
she wanted to guide the ship out of the space dock. Ranma
grinned at her.
"Commander Shampoo. Would you do the honors of guiding
us out of here?"
Shampoo brightly grinned. "Ok. Shampoo the boss now,
Ryouga. Forward thrusters, 300 KPH. Go."
The engines began to hum. Ranma loved that sound. It
made him feel at peace. It made him have a reason to live.
It made him happy.
THUMP! KLANG! CRASH!
Thump? Klang? CRASH?! That's not good. Of course when
is Thump, Klang, Crash ever good? Ranma took a good look at
the view screen. They were still in the space dock. He
looked at Shampoo. Shampoo was not happy.
"STUPID BOY! SHAMPOO SAY FORWARD! FORWARD!"
"SORRY!!" Ryouga yelled back.
"Captain?"
"Yes Mousse?" Ranma responded.
"The Captain of the USS Parkway Point McDonald's wants
us to exchange insurance information with him."
Ranma scowled. He had just gotten the parking ticket
from when he parked in the handicap space at seven-11-
thousand a few months ago.
"Send the information. And Ryouga, please be more
careful. Forward is the arrow pointing, well, forward."
Ryouga mumbled what kind of sounded like a "Yes I
know" under his breath. The ship finally started to move
forward. Ranma sat back down.
Shampoo steps up closer behind Ryouga to make sure if
he hit the wrong button again, she could fix it before the
damaged anything else. "Ok. Mousse. Get permission to
depart." The amazon ordered.
Mouse stood up perfectly straight, gliding his fingers
across his panel. "YES! Shampoo my love!"
"SHAMPOO NO LOVE YOU MOUSSE! Shampoo Commander. Mousse
Lt. Mousse not call Shampoo, Shampoo."
That should have hurt mousse, but the years and years
of rejection have made that man a brick wall. He just goes
with the flow.
"Yes Commander lover!"
Ranma quickly hopped up and snatched the phaser that
Shampoo was drawing. He then sat back down.
Mousse grinned. "Permission granted! Space doors
opening!"
Shampoo turned to the view screen. "Ryouga. Increase
speed to 500 KPH. Once clear of big doors, set course 1-2-3
mark 2-0-9. Warp six"
"Yes ma'am." Ryouga complied. Ranma looked somewhat
worried still. There was not that much extra room for the
ship to get through the doors safely. But, all he has to do
is keep her even and keep her going straight and - We're
high. Ranma stood right up. Shampoo screamed.
"TOO HIGH! GO DOWN GO DOWN!" Shampoo screamed.
The ship was not going to clear the top of the doors.
As a matter of fact, the ship was going to completely miss
the doors by about 100 meters too high!
"RYOUGA! Z MINUS 350 METERS! NOW!!!" Ranma screamed.
Ryouga was frantically hitting buttons. Random button
pushing on a trillion dollar starship is another thing that
should be on the 'bad idea' list.
The ship started to do barrel rolls. Shampoo decided
to scream again and hit the deck.
"SHIT! FULL STOP! HIT THE BREAKS!" Ranma screamed.
Ryouga hit a button. He then said "Oops."
Ranma's jaw hit the deck now. "Oops?"
The Sisko had turned completely upward, and was flying
at 800 KPH towards the roof of the space dock.
Ranma ran over to Mina's console. "AINO!! TAKE HELM!
STOP US!!"
Mina started running her hands over her panel.
Ryouga's went blank, and the helm configuration popped up
on hers. She began to hit buttons, trying to stop the ship.
Mousse picked this time to freak out. "10 SECONDS TO
COLLISION WITH THE ROOF OF THE SPACE DOCK!" Mousse began to
run in circles, losing his glasses in the process.
"MOUSSE! SHIELDS UP!" Ranma yelled, tension in his
voice. He was rarely scared, but at this moment, he was
scared shitless.
Mousse ran to his panel and hit a few buttons. A
familiar sound was heard, but it was not the sound of the
shields.
Outside from the front of the ship a red glowing
sphere flew towards the roof. Ranma knew what it was. He
turned to Mousse.
"Did you just -"
"Fire a torpedo? Yes."
"Aw swell."
"Captain," Mina whimpered. "I shut down the engines,
but we have to much forward motion. Even with reverse
thrusters at full we're going to collide!"
It was at this time the torpedo hit the roof of the
space dock, blowing a hole in it. The ship managed to float
right through this new exit, and safely into open space.
Ranma could only just stare at the screen. All the
stars seemed to look like his ass being kicked by Rear-
Admiral Happosai. The COM panel behind him beeped. Mousse,
who had found his glasses, answered it.
"Captain, Rear-Admiral Happosai for you. He doesn't
sound happy." Mousse sniveled.
Suddenly Happosai's face appeared on the viewer.
"DOESN'T SOUND HAPPY IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT!" The short
man bellowed. "DON'T YOU MORONS KNOW HOW TO USE THE DOOR?"
Ranma looked up at the admiral. "Sorry?"
This is another term Ranma had learned usually does
more bad than good. This time, it seemed to make Happosai's
face change from the beet red it was, to a mixture of beet
red and really pissed off blue.
"SORRY? YOU BETTER BE! THE NEW ROOF IS COMING OUT OF
ALL YOUR PAYCHECKS! NOW GET TO FINDEN NOW!" The screen
returned to stars. Ranma walked over to Shampoo and helped
her up. Shampoo was still in shock, so she didn't even
think of glomping onto Ranma.
"Well, Number One. You heard him. Set a course to the
Finden system. Warp eight this time. And also, call a staff
meeting of all the senior staff in the conference room in
ten minutes."
Shampoo only had the ability to nod at Ranma, as he
walked into his ready room to cry. There goes the Lexus!
? ? ? ?
Akane had just made herself comfortable in her office
chair again. The jostling of the ship had knocked her on
her ass several times. She finally decided she would just
stay on the floor till everything was better. It finally
stopped. She sat back in her chair propped her feet up and
then the chirp. She hated the chirp.
Of course they weren't polite enough to use the comm.
badges to contact her. They used the ships comm. system.
Which of course was on the other side of sick bay.
"The chairs here may be comfortable, but the designers
need to have a mental evaluation." Akane grumbled out loud
to her self. A couple of medical techs threw a look her
way, but she dismissed it. Just because she talked to
herself doesn't mean she was crazy.
"Does it?" She asked no one.
It pissed her off to no end when she found out it was
Shampoo on the other end of the communication. Then she
found out she would have to trek all the way up to the
bridge for a conference.
"No, they can't put the conference room in a more
central location, can they?!" She growled. She noticed the
techs checking her out again.
"AS YOU WERE!" She screamed. The techs ran to a
different part of sickbay.
Akane just starts to walk out of sickbay when her door
slides open. A young blonde girl with really odd hair
walks, no hobbles in. She's bawling up a storm. Akane
rushes right over to her, and helps her up onto an exam
table.
"Are you OK?" Akane asks the girl.
"WAAAAAAAA! I think not! I think I broke my
epidermal!" The poor slob of a girl cries. Akane has no
idea what the girl is talking about, but it works out okay
because the girl doesn't have any clue either.
Akane grabs her tricorder and scans the girl. It
appears she sprained her ankle. She sure is making a big
deal out of it.
It's about this time Akane notices the pips on her
collar.
"Lt. Commander?!" Akane gasps out loud. What kind of
Lt. Commander is this kind of a cry baby?
"Yes?" The girl responded between sobs.
"What's your name?" Akane walked over to a cabinet,
hoping to find the sprain-fixer-thingamajig.
"Serena. Serena Tsukino."
"Well, Commander, you have a sprained ankle. No
biggie, easy to fix. I think." Akane walked back over. She
found some device that looked like it should work, so she
decided to try it. She ran the device over Serena's bad
ankle. She then checked it with the tricorder. It worked.
The ankle was a good as new.
"Serena. Tell me how you did this."
"Well Doc, I was in engineering and when the ship
shifted real hard earlier, I fell down and, well, you know
the rest."
Akane was confused now.
"What were you doing in engineering? That place is
very dangerous."
Serena giggles. "That's what I keep telling them, but
they said since I am Chief Engineer, I need to spend a
majority of my work day down there."
Akane collapses. "YOU!? You're the Chief Engineer?"
"Yup. Funny isn't it?"
Sure. In a sadistic whips and chains sort of way.
"Yeah." Akane tried to chuckle. "I guess you need to
go to that staff meeting too then, huh?"
"Yeah." Serena grins. "Do you want to walk up there
together?"
"Yeah!" Akane nods.
Serena goes to hop off the exam table, but ends up on
her face.
"WAAAAAAA!!"
? ? ? ?
Farther down in the saucer section of the ship was the
ship's councilor's office. The young lady who got that job
was busy unpacking, and it took Shampoo a couple of tries
to get her attention.
This kid was pissed. Seems to be a recurring theme
with this crew. She had finally gotten the picture of her
Grandpa to hang strait when BOOM! The whole damn ship
shook, not only knocking it crooked, but right off the
wall. She decided that she wasn't going to get to that
meeting until she got the picture set up again.
After a few seconds of fidgeting with it, she got it
going. She smiled. The first time she has smiled since she
was transferred off of the moon colony. She didn't want
this assignment, but she wanted to move up the ranks. Right
now she held the rank of Lt. Commander, but she wanted to
be a captain. But, that's everyone in Starfleet's goal. And
as anyone will tell you, you won't become a captain sitting
behind a desk.
The last thing she needed to do was put her name
plaque on her desk. It's a special name plaque. It was
given to her by an old friend of hers, that she hasn't seen
for years. The plaque had her name inscribed, and a rose
painted on it as well.
Well, now that that's done, time to get to the bridge.
She walked out of her office, and the door hissed shut
behind her.
"Damn that hiss!" She murmured. She hated that hiss
more than just about anything. Even the automatic doors at
Wal-Mart in the freakin' 20th century were quiet!
As she walked down the hallway towards the turbolift,
she couldn't help but notice that there were some very
handsome men on this ship. Even though she had no interest
in being here she did have to acknowledge that it could do
wonders for her love life. There were times when she didn't
worry about those kinds of things, but it was different
now. After he reportedly died at the hands of Mad Cow
infected Big Mac, she stopped looking for men. She thought
that the whole universe had it out for her. It was bad
enough that he was DESTINED to be with someone else but
just as they started to have some problems he died. Why did
everything bad happen to her?
It was lucky for her though her grandpa had her apply
at Starfleet Academy. While she was at the academy she met
lots of men. But no one warned her about San Francisco. All
the men were gay. Even the Vulcan ones! But they did teach
her a few things about herself, including dealing with her
bisexuality.
Eventually she arrived at a turbolift. She had the
distinct problem of always talking the longest route to
turbolifts. She hated meetings, so she was never in a hurry
to get to them.
The girl hit the call button and frustratedly taps her
foot while she waits. She also hated waiting for a
turbolift. For something called 'turbo', they sure as hell
didn't move very fast. Lucky for her she doesn't have to
wait long. Before she knew it the doors slid open. She
nearly passed out when she saw who was in it.
"Serena?"
Serena turned away from Akane and looked at the girl.
He eyes widened and teared up. She hadn't seen this old
friend in years.
"RAYE!" Serena embraced Raye in a tight hug. Raye
returned the hug. Even though the two of them didn't get
along that well, they were still very good friends. When
the group of five split up, they figured they would never
meet again.
Raye and Serena walked back into the turbolift. The
doors hissed shut and the lift continued on its trip to the
bridge. Serena turned to Akane.
"Akane, this is Raye Hino. A very good friend of
mine."
Akane and Raye shook hands. "Nice to meet you Raye. I
am the ships CMO. What do you do?"
Raye smiled. "I'm the ships counselor."
"Oh! So you are headed in the same direction as Serena
and I!"
Raye nodded. "It would appear that way. Serena, what
on Earth are you doing here? And what are you doing wearing
Lt. Commander pips?"
Serena giggled. "I'm the ship's Chief Engineer."
A look of doom came over Raye. "Wow Serena. Someone
must dislike the people on this ship."
Serena started the waterworks. "I haven't seen you in
years and you're still mean to me! WAAAAAAAAA!"
Raye put her hand on Serena's shoulder. "Serena, you
know I am just kidding." Raye turns towards the front of
the lift car. "Sort of."
The lift came to a stop. The doors hissed open. The
group stepped out onto the bridge. Akane looked around.
"Where's Ranma?"
Shampoo walked up to Akane. "Ranma in ready room.
Shampoo in charge. What you want?"
"We're here for the meeting you called." Akane fumed.
"Go to conference room. We be in shortly." Shampoo
walked down the ramp and back into the Captain's chair.
"Well, Akane. I see you two are good friends." Raye
mused.
Akane just let out a half chuckle half grunt as she
led the others into the conference room.
? ? ? ?
Akane, Serena, and Raye were in a conversation of
their own when Ranma, Shampoo, Mousse, Mina, and Ryouga
walked into the room. Raye and Serena gleefully stood up
and ran to Mina when they saw her.
"Mina! Long time!" Raye said!
"I've missed you, Mina!" Serena added.
Mina smiled. "And I you, my friends."
Ranma just stood there grinning. "I see you are all
aquatinted! This will save us some time. Let's all be
seated and get this over with. For those of you who don't
know me, I am Captain Ranma Saotome. I will go around the
table, so, to my left is our XO, Commander Shampoo.
"Next to her is our Chief of Security, and Tactical
Officer, Lt. Mousse.
"Next is our - " Ranma has to pause and try and figure
out the logic behind this one. "- our Chief Helm Officer,
Ensign Ryouga Hibiki."
"Nice steering out of the space dock, Ensign." Raye
Scorned.
"Be nice, counselor." Ranma shot at her.
"Yes sir."
Ryouga just stuck his tongue out at Raye.
"Ensign!" Ranma spat.
"What?!" Ryouga whimpered, trying his best to sound
innocent.
"Next to Ryouga is our Chief Medical Officer, Akane
Tendo. As long as you don't let her make your chicken soup,
you'll be OK." Ranma ducks a flying tricorder.
"Over here to my right is Lt. Commander Mina Aino.
She's our Operations Officer, and Chief Science Officer.
Next to her is Lt. Commander Raye Hino. Raye is the ship's
counselor. If you have any problems, I am sure she would be
more than happy to help you out."
Raye, without being seen, shoots a 'yeah thanks a lot'
look at Ranma.
"And last, but certainly not least, next to Miss Hino
is Lt. Commander Serena Tsukino. She is our Chief
Engineer."
Ranma paused for a few seconds, allowing everyone to
throw a 'nice to meet you' nod at each other. He then
continued.
"I think this will be one of the best crews Starfleet
has ever assembled. I also think that with a lot of hard
work, we can achieve things that no other ship has ever
achieved. The Sisko is the most advanced ship ever built by
the Federation. We should be very careful not to scratch
her up." Ranma rolled his eyes toward Ryouga. "Anymore."
Raye leans over to Mina. "Yeah. New record. Ship to
have the fastest warp core breach out of space dock." Mina
just gives her the 'be nice' look.
"There will be a reception for you all in ten-forward
at 1800. I look forward to seeing you all there. First
let's take care of some business. Commander Aino, what's
our ETA to Finden?"
Mina punches something up on her computer. "Twelve
hours, Seven minutes sir."
"Good." Ranma grinned. "Time for some work, and some
play. Dismissed all. Oh, Miss Hino, if you could, when
you're not with a patient, please be on the bridge? In case
we run into anyone where I could use your insight."
Raye nods. "Yes captain." She rolls her eyes. Good
thing I'm booked.
"Thank you." Ranma smiles as Raye walks off.
Ranma walks over to the observation windows. He gazes
out at the stars flying by. He never understood how that if
they are going faster than the speed of light you could see
the stars to each side and behind the ship, but he wasn't
worried about things like that. It was pretty.
Akane walks up next to him. "You really think this is
one of the best crews?"
Ranma turns to Akane, then back to the stars. "No.
We're screwed."
Akane turns to Ranma. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Well, one, my XO won't keep her hands - uh - " Ranma
notices how Akane is looking at him. "hands off my
computer. My CMO has no medical experience."
"Hey." Akane interjects. "I cured a sprained ankle
today."
"Well I'm proud of you. But we will have more than
sprained ankles if this report is true."
"What report?" She asked.
"I got a report from Starfleet Command a little while
ago. The Kuno activity in the outer region is increasing.
That's why they are sending us to Finden. The Federation
doesn't give a damn about the ships. They're annoying,
sure, but not something to send it's most armed ship too."
"Oh I see."
"My Chief Engineer has had more on the job accidents
then they entire explosives team, the dangerous situations
team and the on-purpose accidents team had combined!"
"She was the one with the sprained ankle."
"Figures. Our counselor has been reprimanded for being
mean to the patients. My weapons officer is blind and my
helmsman is an idiot!"
"What about Commander Aino?"
"She's a good officer, but she's never been in combat before.
She's be perfect if all we were up to was charting nebulas."
"Oh. Seems your Dad wasn't happy with you."
"It would seem not."
Akane sighed. "Well, come on down to ten-forward. Have
a few drinks. It'll make you feel better."
Ranma laughed. "That's all this ship needs, a drunk
Captain. Can you imagine that? A drunk captain."
Akane starts to walk away. "1800. I will be expecting
you."
Ranma sighs an acknowledgment. The doors hiss shut
behind Akane. Ranma closes his eyes, and just continues to
stand, facing the stars as they whisk by.
--
Erin Michael Winking
http://www.douglasavenue.com
ewink's FUNKDAFIED ranma 1/2 site
http://funkdafied.douglasavenue.com