e.wink
12th January 2003, 08:27 AM
PRELUDE
Captain's log. Stardate 59998.1. We've just received
our new star ship. She's beautiful too. Not like that
uncute tomboy of a fiancée of mine. Anyway, we've been
blessed with the new Gosnell class ship. Her name? The
U.S.S. Sisko. She was named after the Captain that led the
Federation to victory in the Dominion Wars.
We've also been dispatched on our first mission. As
soon as the rest of my crew boards, we will be off to the
Finden system, where the Federation colonies have reported
a fleet of fighter jet type ships flying down and literally
annoying the hell out of them. Reports say that the ships
hover about 10 meters in the air, and just repeat the word
'NEWS' over and over again.
Captain Ranma Saotome looks up from the computer he
was recording the log entry in. Ranma leans back in his
chair, his very comfortable chair. The chair he's worked
his ass off for. Boy, would Akane be pissed. She's working
her way up to Captain as well. But she has a long way to
go. She needs to work on controlling her temper.
Ranma remembers a fun incident that happened once with
Akane. Well, it was fun for him because he wasn't involved.
It wasn't fun for the eleven crewmen with severe phaser
burns. It turns out that calling Akane's cooking 'Klingon
crap' when she was close to the phaser rifle locker was not
a smart idea.
Regardless, he was glad he was in a meeting at the
time. This had happened when he and Akane were stationed on
the U.S.S. Minneapolis. He was the XO, and she was chief of
security. That thought still made Ranma shudder.
"Captain" A voice behind Ranma said. The voice was
from his tactical officer, and Chief of Security, Mousse.
"Yes Lieutenant?" Ranma answered.
"We just received a message from the space dock. They
say the last of the crew has boarded."
"Thank you, Mousse." Ranma grinned. He was looking
forward to his XO getting to the bridge. Rumor had it she
was a hottie. The strange thing about this assignment was
that he wasn't able to pick his officers. An unnamed
Admiral had done it. The other strange thing was that he
wasn't given a list of who his officers were.
The turbolift doors opened. The hissing of the doors
always startled Ranma. With all the technology of the 24th
century, you would think they could make silent hydraulics.
Before Ranma could stand to see who it was, a voice
greeted him. A familiar voice. A voice that made Ranma want
to run for the nearest airlock.
"NIHAO!"
Ranma turned slowly, but was taken down by an over
hyper Amazon girl. Shampoo had Ranma on the floor of the
bridge, and she was in no hurry to let him up.
"Sh-Shampoo?" Ranma stuttered. "What - I mean, - What
are you doing here?"
Shampoo giggled. "Silly Ranma! Shampoo new XO!"
Oh Lord. Ranma tried to manage a smile, and get up,
but it was somewhat hopeless.
WHOOSH! The turbolift doors again. Another voice
bellowed his name. He wasn't sure whether he was more
afraid of Shampoo or this one. His fiancée.
"RANMA!!" Akane screamed. "Maybe I came at the wrong
time. I thought maybe we were going to go and, oh I don't
know, WORK?"
"Akane!? This isn't what it looks like!" Ranma
regretted saying that. He has learned in his years that
using that line was like throwing Pop Rocks into a soda.
Did a hell of a lot more harm than good.
Ranma finally managed to get out from underneath
Shampoo. He sat her down in her chair, and ran after Akane,
who had stormed off into his ready room.
"Akane. Uh - Well, hi?"
"Ranma."
"Akane I - Well..."
"Ranma, forget it."
"Um, Ok. Uh, what are you doing here?"
Akane grew a look on her face. It was half 'what don't
you want me here?' and 'don't you know?'
"I've been assigned as the Chief Medical Officer." She
said, sitting down on the couch.
Ranma started to laugh when he realized that she was
serious.
"CMO? But, you don't have any medical experience."
Ranma slowly sat next to her.
"Don't you think I know that?" Akane shouted back,
somewhat defensively. "You're stupid dad sent me here, and
since this is the only position available, well, this is
where I am."
Ranma nearly fell over where he heard those two words.
"My Dad?"
Akane nodded. "People at Starfleet Command call him
Admiral Panda."
Ranma did fall over this time.
"MY DAD IS AN ADMIRAL?!?"
"What? Didn't you know?"
"Obviously not!" Ranma began to pace his ready room.
His father was an admiral. And he was responsible for this
mess. Not that he was too upset having Akane aboard, but it
was the other things. A man, who is nearly blind working
his weapons, and her, Shampoo. His XO. For some reason God
wasn't happy with him this week.
"Ranma?"
"Yeah?"
"If you want me to leave -"
"Don't be stupid, stupid. I need a CMO. And you're
it."
Akane stood up and walked over to Ranma. She then
proceeded to flatten him with a semi-large mallet.
"Fine. Just don't call me stupid." Akane then stormed
out of the room. Ranma sighed and sat down on his couch.
----
Ranma was on his third cup of coffee. He had started
to read about the Finden system. Seems they have two Class
M planets. It was odd that the ships were only bothering
one of them. Maybe the other one had a secret alliance with
whoever these people are.
Ranma's communicator chirped.
"Wo Ai Ni Ranma! Ship ready to go. Just no helms man!"
Shampoo cheerfully reported.
Odd. Ranma stood up and walked out of his ready room,
coffee in hand. He walked onto the bridge. He now saw his
Ops officer. She stood to greet him.
"Good morning, Captain!" The nearly drop dead
beautiful blonde said. "Lt. Commander Mina Aino." The two
shook hands.
"Welcome aboard, Commander." Ranma grinned, trying to
maintain eye contact. Maybe this would be a good time to
find out whom, and where his helmsman is.
"Number One - " Ranma started, but was interrupted by
'Number One'.
"HI-YA! Shampoo number one to Ranma!" Shampoo pounced
onto Ranma. Ranma was able to maintain his balance and stay
upright this time though. Ranma chose to ignore the
growling coming from the tactical station.
"Shampoo. That's what I call my first officer. Now you
need to stop this, or I will assign you to photon torpedo
tube cleaning!"
Shampoo almost seemed hurt, but she still managed to
hold on to her smile. "Aye Captain. What was you were
speaking?"
"Do you know who our helmsman is or where he is?"
"Shampoo no know."
"Does anyone know?"
----
Meanwhile somewhere in the drive section of the craft
-
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?"
The computer chirped back. "You are not on Earth. You
are on the USS Sisko, which is in orbit above the Earth at
22,102 kilometers."
The bandanna clad man just groaned. "Ok smartass. Can
you show me how to get to the bridge?"
Along the wall of the corridor, several flashing
arrows began to point the way. The computer spoke up; to
make sure this lost boy would know what to do.
"Follow the arrows. Then take the turbolift to the
bridge."
"Uh, thank you."
The man straggled off in the direction of the arrows.
A COOL, SEMI PLAGERIZED STAR TREK TYPE THEME SHOULD BE
INSERTED HERE
Space. Final frontier. Shampoo XO of starship Sisko.
Starship mission: to go where no one go before, to kill
Akane Tendo, and to have Ranma all to Shampoo - HEY THAT'S
NOT HOW IT GOES! - WO AI NI!!!
----------
Hope you enjoy! Comments? funkdafied@douglasavenue.com
--
Erin Michael Winking
http://www.douglasavenue.com
ewink's FUNKDAFIED ranma 1/2 site
http://funkdafied.douglasavenue.com
Captain's log. Stardate 59998.1. We've just received
our new star ship. She's beautiful too. Not like that
uncute tomboy of a fiancée of mine. Anyway, we've been
blessed with the new Gosnell class ship. Her name? The
U.S.S. Sisko. She was named after the Captain that led the
Federation to victory in the Dominion Wars.
We've also been dispatched on our first mission. As
soon as the rest of my crew boards, we will be off to the
Finden system, where the Federation colonies have reported
a fleet of fighter jet type ships flying down and literally
annoying the hell out of them. Reports say that the ships
hover about 10 meters in the air, and just repeat the word
'NEWS' over and over again.
Captain Ranma Saotome looks up from the computer he
was recording the log entry in. Ranma leans back in his
chair, his very comfortable chair. The chair he's worked
his ass off for. Boy, would Akane be pissed. She's working
her way up to Captain as well. But she has a long way to
go. She needs to work on controlling her temper.
Ranma remembers a fun incident that happened once with
Akane. Well, it was fun for him because he wasn't involved.
It wasn't fun for the eleven crewmen with severe phaser
burns. It turns out that calling Akane's cooking 'Klingon
crap' when she was close to the phaser rifle locker was not
a smart idea.
Regardless, he was glad he was in a meeting at the
time. This had happened when he and Akane were stationed on
the U.S.S. Minneapolis. He was the XO, and she was chief of
security. That thought still made Ranma shudder.
"Captain" A voice behind Ranma said. The voice was
from his tactical officer, and Chief of Security, Mousse.
"Yes Lieutenant?" Ranma answered.
"We just received a message from the space dock. They
say the last of the crew has boarded."
"Thank you, Mousse." Ranma grinned. He was looking
forward to his XO getting to the bridge. Rumor had it she
was a hottie. The strange thing about this assignment was
that he wasn't able to pick his officers. An unnamed
Admiral had done it. The other strange thing was that he
wasn't given a list of who his officers were.
The turbolift doors opened. The hissing of the doors
always startled Ranma. With all the technology of the 24th
century, you would think they could make silent hydraulics.
Before Ranma could stand to see who it was, a voice
greeted him. A familiar voice. A voice that made Ranma want
to run for the nearest airlock.
"NIHAO!"
Ranma turned slowly, but was taken down by an over
hyper Amazon girl. Shampoo had Ranma on the floor of the
bridge, and she was in no hurry to let him up.
"Sh-Shampoo?" Ranma stuttered. "What - I mean, - What
are you doing here?"
Shampoo giggled. "Silly Ranma! Shampoo new XO!"
Oh Lord. Ranma tried to manage a smile, and get up,
but it was somewhat hopeless.
WHOOSH! The turbolift doors again. Another voice
bellowed his name. He wasn't sure whether he was more
afraid of Shampoo or this one. His fiancée.
"RANMA!!" Akane screamed. "Maybe I came at the wrong
time. I thought maybe we were going to go and, oh I don't
know, WORK?"
"Akane!? This isn't what it looks like!" Ranma
regretted saying that. He has learned in his years that
using that line was like throwing Pop Rocks into a soda.
Did a hell of a lot more harm than good.
Ranma finally managed to get out from underneath
Shampoo. He sat her down in her chair, and ran after Akane,
who had stormed off into his ready room.
"Akane. Uh - Well, hi?"
"Ranma."
"Akane I - Well..."
"Ranma, forget it."
"Um, Ok. Uh, what are you doing here?"
Akane grew a look on her face. It was half 'what don't
you want me here?' and 'don't you know?'
"I've been assigned as the Chief Medical Officer." She
said, sitting down on the couch.
Ranma started to laugh when he realized that she was
serious.
"CMO? But, you don't have any medical experience."
Ranma slowly sat next to her.
"Don't you think I know that?" Akane shouted back,
somewhat defensively. "You're stupid dad sent me here, and
since this is the only position available, well, this is
where I am."
Ranma nearly fell over where he heard those two words.
"My Dad?"
Akane nodded. "People at Starfleet Command call him
Admiral Panda."
Ranma did fall over this time.
"MY DAD IS AN ADMIRAL?!?"
"What? Didn't you know?"
"Obviously not!" Ranma began to pace his ready room.
His father was an admiral. And he was responsible for this
mess. Not that he was too upset having Akane aboard, but it
was the other things. A man, who is nearly blind working
his weapons, and her, Shampoo. His XO. For some reason God
wasn't happy with him this week.
"Ranma?"
"Yeah?"
"If you want me to leave -"
"Don't be stupid, stupid. I need a CMO. And you're
it."
Akane stood up and walked over to Ranma. She then
proceeded to flatten him with a semi-large mallet.
"Fine. Just don't call me stupid." Akane then stormed
out of the room. Ranma sighed and sat down on his couch.
----
Ranma was on his third cup of coffee. He had started
to read about the Finden system. Seems they have two Class
M planets. It was odd that the ships were only bothering
one of them. Maybe the other one had a secret alliance with
whoever these people are.
Ranma's communicator chirped.
"Wo Ai Ni Ranma! Ship ready to go. Just no helms man!"
Shampoo cheerfully reported.
Odd. Ranma stood up and walked out of his ready room,
coffee in hand. He walked onto the bridge. He now saw his
Ops officer. She stood to greet him.
"Good morning, Captain!" The nearly drop dead
beautiful blonde said. "Lt. Commander Mina Aino." The two
shook hands.
"Welcome aboard, Commander." Ranma grinned, trying to
maintain eye contact. Maybe this would be a good time to
find out whom, and where his helmsman is.
"Number One - " Ranma started, but was interrupted by
'Number One'.
"HI-YA! Shampoo number one to Ranma!" Shampoo pounced
onto Ranma. Ranma was able to maintain his balance and stay
upright this time though. Ranma chose to ignore the
growling coming from the tactical station.
"Shampoo. That's what I call my first officer. Now you
need to stop this, or I will assign you to photon torpedo
tube cleaning!"
Shampoo almost seemed hurt, but she still managed to
hold on to her smile. "Aye Captain. What was you were
speaking?"
"Do you know who our helmsman is or where he is?"
"Shampoo no know."
"Does anyone know?"
----
Meanwhile somewhere in the drive section of the craft
-
"WHERE ON EARTH AM I NOW?"
The computer chirped back. "You are not on Earth. You
are on the USS Sisko, which is in orbit above the Earth at
22,102 kilometers."
The bandanna clad man just groaned. "Ok smartass. Can
you show me how to get to the bridge?"
Along the wall of the corridor, several flashing
arrows began to point the way. The computer spoke up; to
make sure this lost boy would know what to do.
"Follow the arrows. Then take the turbolift to the
bridge."
"Uh, thank you."
The man straggled off in the direction of the arrows.
A COOL, SEMI PLAGERIZED STAR TREK TYPE THEME SHOULD BE
INSERTED HERE
Space. Final frontier. Shampoo XO of starship Sisko.
Starship mission: to go where no one go before, to kill
Akane Tendo, and to have Ranma all to Shampoo - HEY THAT'S
NOT HOW IT GOES! - WO AI NI!!!
----------
Hope you enjoy! Comments? funkdafied@douglasavenue.com
--
Erin Michael Winking
http://www.douglasavenue.com
ewink's FUNKDAFIED ranma 1/2 site
http://funkdafied.douglasavenue.com