KaraOhki
29th December 2002, 11:26 PM
A Very Cruel Cut
A Ranma 1/2/SailorMoon fanfiction by June
"KaraOhki" Geraci, November 17, 2002, revised
December 26, 2002.
This story is the result of FFIRC's monthly one
hour challenge. My thanks to the members of group
#1, who provided some very constructive comments
during review. My thanks also to my brother Tom,
for thinking of the basic idea for this story.
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are owned by Rumiko
Takahashi. Sailor Moon and its characters are
owned by Naoko Takeuchi. My apologies to both
ladies. This story was written for entertainment
purposes only, and is not to be used commercially.
---------------
Shampoo ran behind Mousse, trying to catch up with
him. He was so excited at the prospect of seeing
top athletes from around the world performing that
he'd ignored all of Cologne's objections to leaving
the restaurant understaffed, actually put his
glasses on properly, and taken off.
*****
"When did you become so interested in track and
field, Usagi? I've never seen you attend any
matches at our school?"
The blonde stopped running so quickly that her
companion was forced to catch herself before she
ran her down. "You're kidding, Makoto, aren't you?
We've got a chance to see some of the best-looking
guys in the world, and you don't care?"
Makoto grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her
down the street. "Maybe one of them looks like my
old boyfriend!"
*****
"Hurry, would you? I want to have a good seat!
Would you put that down? It's not yours!"
"But this flower pot is SO cute! Louise! Louise!"
*****
"Well what do I care about track and field? I've
got better stuff to do than go to this stupid
match! Ow! Let go!"
Akane ignored her fiance's comments, grabbed him by
the pigtail, and dragged him to the gym. "Didn't
you read the posters? The very best Olympic
athletes are going to be right here! How often do
you get to see the best in action?"
"Every time I look in the mirror--OW!!!"
*****
The lines at the doors of Furinkan High School's
gymnasium were huge, and getting longer. Not only
was every student trying to get in, but the
doorways were jammed with students from many other
schools in the Tokyo area, as well as many Nerima
residents. Soon the gym was packed to capacity,
and everyone else was turned away. People jammed
the available seats, looking expectantly at the
array of equipment out on the gymnasium floor. The
crowd grew quiet as the lights dimmed, and a lone
spotlight turned on in the center of the floor.
Then Tatewaki Kuno stepped into the light. He held
a piece of paper in his hand. "My father asked me
to read a message to those in attendance this
afternoon, since he has been unavoidably detained
elsewhere."
Kuno peered at the notes, and wrinkled his brow.
"Perhaps it would be best if I paraphrased the
speech. I refuse to speak in such an uncouth
manner!"
"Dear Students,
I have called you together today, not to see a
track and field competition, but for another
purpose."
The audience began to murmur nervously, and glance
at one another. Then they all jumped, as each door
to the gymnasium slammed shut and locked. Kuno
glanced down at the notes again, and turned pale.
"I'm afraid we have been deceived. This message
states that since all of Furinkan High's students
have steadfastly refused to cut their hair in
accordance with the school rules, Principal Kuno
has brought us here to have it done forcibly."
"WHAT???"
That response came from hundreds of lips,
especially those of people who were not Furinkan
High students.
Kuno threw down the notes, and raised his bokken.
"Join with me, all of you! We will not allow
this!"
*****
A strange metallic sound began, and the lights came
up. The crowd looked, looked again, and began to
laugh. A host of mechanical ostriches had entered
the gym, and were advancing on the audience.
"Metal birds? No problem!" Ranma cracked his
knuckles, and grinned at his fiancee. "Let's get
them!"
"Oh, how cute!" cried Azusa. "Come to Mommy,
Pauline!" She ran directly up to a bright yellow
ostrich, which was blinking its huge mechanical
eyes at her. The creature opened its mouth,
displaying some very interesting teeth. They were
normally seen on a razor cutter in a barbershop.
Seconds later, Azusa sported a very cute crew cut.
She collapsed on her partner, crying hysterically,
which prevented him from defending himself from the
advancing bird.
"I never wanted us to have the same hairdo!" wailed
Mikado, as he pulled a mirror out of the pocket.
Then his expression changed. "It certainly looks
much better on me than it does on you!"
"My babies!" screamed Soun Tendo. He threw himself
in front of Kasumi as a green ostrich advanced on
her. He got the crew cut intended for his daughter
before his friend Genma destroyed the mechanical
bird.
"No cute guys?" Usagi began to sniffle.
Minako came hurrying up to her friend. "You've got
more to worry about than that, silly! You should
be more concerned about protecting our hair!"
Usagi screamed, and began looking about frantically
for a place to transform. Two pairs of hands
grabbed her and dragged her under the risers.
Minako and Makoto followed, and found Rei and Ami
beneath the seating.
"Isn't this a little too public?" asked Minako.
"It's the best we can do!" replied Ami. "Just do
it!"
"Stay behind me, Tomboy!" Ranma kicked a blue
ostrich, sending it into a red one. Both crumpled.
"Why? You said WE should get them!" was the only
reply Ranma got, and he turned to see Akane run
over to the equipment on the gymnasium floor and
pick up a hammer. She weighed it in her hand, and
grinned. "Nice." Then she proceeded to knock the
head off of a hot pink ostrich with her new weapon.
"Principal Kuno didn't do a very good job with
these things. They're too easy to beat."
Ranma couldn't help but laugh. "Aren't ya supposed
to throw those things?" Then he shrugged.
"Whatever works! Come on, they need help!" Ranma
pointed at the other end of the gym, where three
ostriches were menacing a group of teachers.
Miss Hinako stood in front of her colleagues, but
the ostriches were impervious to her attempt to
drain them. Before Ranma or Akane could reach
them, Mousse and Shampoo destroyed the evil birds.
Unfortunately, they were a few seconds too late to
help Miss Hinako.
"Nabiki Tendo, get behind me. I will not allow you
to be harmed by this creature."
"You won't get any arguments from me, Kuno-baby!"
"Strike strike strike strike strike strike
STRIKE!!!" The tip of Kuno's bokken was moving so
quickly that it could barely be seen. The beak of
the ostrich he fought moved just as quickly. The
bokken disintegrated within seconds.
"Kuno, I think we should run."
Run they did, to the doors that people were
frantically trying to open. Kuno put Nabiki behind
him again, and faced the oncoming birds, his only
weapon a wooden pole he'd appropriated from the
pole vault area. People were being shorn all
around them, and the sound of wailing permeated the
air.
"In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!" Five
girls stood up in the middle of the gym. Everyone
stopped to stare.
"They're not real, are they?" whispered Akane to
Ranma.
"I never thought they were, Akane. It's gotta be a
joke."
The Sailor Scouts began to shout their attacks.
Usagi raised her scepter, pointed it at an ostrich,
and--
"SWEETO!" Happosai attached himself to her bosom.
"EEEEK!!!" screamed Usagi.
"PERVERT!" yelled the remaining Scouts. They all
converged on Usagi, and attempted to pry Happosai
off her. This caused all of them, including Usagi,
to be distracted enough to get new hairdos.
Ranma shrugged. "Toldja it was a joke. No serious
fighters are gonna run around in skirts that
short!" Then a familiar voice raised itself among
the wailing crowd.
"That's it! No more!" Ostrich heads began flying
past left and right, as a furious okonomiyaki chef
waded through them. "Ran-chan, how about a little
help here?"
"We're on it! C'mon, Akane! Pop, get a move on!"
Within a few minutes every ostrich in the room had
been destroyed by the combined efforts of the
Nerima crew. The Sailor Scouts had vanished in
hysterics, leaving in their wake a seriously
damaged Happosai. It was later discovered that he
had been trampled by several pairs of high heels
and boots.
At the other end of the gym, Tatewaki Kuno lifted
the tarpaulin he had thrown over Nabiki Tendo.
"You may come out now, it is safe."
The young woman looked at him and suppressed her
giggle. After all, he had sacrificed his own hair
for her sake.
*****
Principal Kuno approached Furinkan High School. By
his estimation, his birds should have just about
finished their assignment, and he looked forward to
seeing the results.
When he turned the corner, he realized that it was
quiet. Much too quiet. A huge crowd of people
stood there, staring at him. At the head of the
crowd stood his son, standing there proudly,
despite his humiliating haircut.
"Father, what you have done today surpasses
everything you have done in the past. For this,
you deserve punishment."
"Let me at him!" shouted Ranma.
"No, Saotome." Ranma jumped in surprise as Kuno
smiled at him. "As much as I would like to let you
have your wish, there are some here who have more
of a right to take their vengeance first." He
stood aside, and Miss Hinako came forward, holding
a coin. Behind her stood a long line of respected
Nerima citizens, all holding pieces of sports
equipment. None of them intended to use said
equipment for the purpose envisioned by the
manufacturer.
Principal Kuno turned white beneath his tan.
*****
"There's a youma attacking. We HAVE to go!"
"But Ami," wailed Usagi. "I don't want anybody to
see me like this!"
"We don't have a choice!"
The girls transformed, and raced to the youma's
location. It was a particularly ugly one, dripping
gooey venom and glowing green in the darkness.
They stepped out of the shadows, and confronted it.
The youma laughed itself to death three minutes
later.
------------------------------------
comments are always welcome - to the group, or to me
karaohki@snet.net
--
--------------------------------------------------
http://karaohki.anifics.com
--------------------------------------------------
You could turn this way,
I'm also lonely
this autumn evening
Basho
A Ranma 1/2/SailorMoon fanfiction by June
"KaraOhki" Geraci, November 17, 2002, revised
December 26, 2002.
This story is the result of FFIRC's monthly one
hour challenge. My thanks to the members of group
#1, who provided some very constructive comments
during review. My thanks also to my brother Tom,
for thinking of the basic idea for this story.
Ranma 1/2 and its characters are owned by Rumiko
Takahashi. Sailor Moon and its characters are
owned by Naoko Takeuchi. My apologies to both
ladies. This story was written for entertainment
purposes only, and is not to be used commercially.
---------------
Shampoo ran behind Mousse, trying to catch up with
him. He was so excited at the prospect of seeing
top athletes from around the world performing that
he'd ignored all of Cologne's objections to leaving
the restaurant understaffed, actually put his
glasses on properly, and taken off.
*****
"When did you become so interested in track and
field, Usagi? I've never seen you attend any
matches at our school?"
The blonde stopped running so quickly that her
companion was forced to catch herself before she
ran her down. "You're kidding, Makoto, aren't you?
We've got a chance to see some of the best-looking
guys in the world, and you don't care?"
Makoto grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her
down the street. "Maybe one of them looks like my
old boyfriend!"
*****
"Hurry, would you? I want to have a good seat!
Would you put that down? It's not yours!"
"But this flower pot is SO cute! Louise! Louise!"
*****
"Well what do I care about track and field? I've
got better stuff to do than go to this stupid
match! Ow! Let go!"
Akane ignored her fiance's comments, grabbed him by
the pigtail, and dragged him to the gym. "Didn't
you read the posters? The very best Olympic
athletes are going to be right here! How often do
you get to see the best in action?"
"Every time I look in the mirror--OW!!!"
*****
The lines at the doors of Furinkan High School's
gymnasium were huge, and getting longer. Not only
was every student trying to get in, but the
doorways were jammed with students from many other
schools in the Tokyo area, as well as many Nerima
residents. Soon the gym was packed to capacity,
and everyone else was turned away. People jammed
the available seats, looking expectantly at the
array of equipment out on the gymnasium floor. The
crowd grew quiet as the lights dimmed, and a lone
spotlight turned on in the center of the floor.
Then Tatewaki Kuno stepped into the light. He held
a piece of paper in his hand. "My father asked me
to read a message to those in attendance this
afternoon, since he has been unavoidably detained
elsewhere."
Kuno peered at the notes, and wrinkled his brow.
"Perhaps it would be best if I paraphrased the
speech. I refuse to speak in such an uncouth
manner!"
"Dear Students,
I have called you together today, not to see a
track and field competition, but for another
purpose."
The audience began to murmur nervously, and glance
at one another. Then they all jumped, as each door
to the gymnasium slammed shut and locked. Kuno
glanced down at the notes again, and turned pale.
"I'm afraid we have been deceived. This message
states that since all of Furinkan High's students
have steadfastly refused to cut their hair in
accordance with the school rules, Principal Kuno
has brought us here to have it done forcibly."
"WHAT???"
That response came from hundreds of lips,
especially those of people who were not Furinkan
High students.
Kuno threw down the notes, and raised his bokken.
"Join with me, all of you! We will not allow
this!"
*****
A strange metallic sound began, and the lights came
up. The crowd looked, looked again, and began to
laugh. A host of mechanical ostriches had entered
the gym, and were advancing on the audience.
"Metal birds? No problem!" Ranma cracked his
knuckles, and grinned at his fiancee. "Let's get
them!"
"Oh, how cute!" cried Azusa. "Come to Mommy,
Pauline!" She ran directly up to a bright yellow
ostrich, which was blinking its huge mechanical
eyes at her. The creature opened its mouth,
displaying some very interesting teeth. They were
normally seen on a razor cutter in a barbershop.
Seconds later, Azusa sported a very cute crew cut.
She collapsed on her partner, crying hysterically,
which prevented him from defending himself from the
advancing bird.
"I never wanted us to have the same hairdo!" wailed
Mikado, as he pulled a mirror out of the pocket.
Then his expression changed. "It certainly looks
much better on me than it does on you!"
"My babies!" screamed Soun Tendo. He threw himself
in front of Kasumi as a green ostrich advanced on
her. He got the crew cut intended for his daughter
before his friend Genma destroyed the mechanical
bird.
"No cute guys?" Usagi began to sniffle.
Minako came hurrying up to her friend. "You've got
more to worry about than that, silly! You should
be more concerned about protecting our hair!"
Usagi screamed, and began looking about frantically
for a place to transform. Two pairs of hands
grabbed her and dragged her under the risers.
Minako and Makoto followed, and found Rei and Ami
beneath the seating.
"Isn't this a little too public?" asked Minako.
"It's the best we can do!" replied Ami. "Just do
it!"
"Stay behind me, Tomboy!" Ranma kicked a blue
ostrich, sending it into a red one. Both crumpled.
"Why? You said WE should get them!" was the only
reply Ranma got, and he turned to see Akane run
over to the equipment on the gymnasium floor and
pick up a hammer. She weighed it in her hand, and
grinned. "Nice." Then she proceeded to knock the
head off of a hot pink ostrich with her new weapon.
"Principal Kuno didn't do a very good job with
these things. They're too easy to beat."
Ranma couldn't help but laugh. "Aren't ya supposed
to throw those things?" Then he shrugged.
"Whatever works! Come on, they need help!" Ranma
pointed at the other end of the gym, where three
ostriches were menacing a group of teachers.
Miss Hinako stood in front of her colleagues, but
the ostriches were impervious to her attempt to
drain them. Before Ranma or Akane could reach
them, Mousse and Shampoo destroyed the evil birds.
Unfortunately, they were a few seconds too late to
help Miss Hinako.
"Nabiki Tendo, get behind me. I will not allow you
to be harmed by this creature."
"You won't get any arguments from me, Kuno-baby!"
"Strike strike strike strike strike strike
STRIKE!!!" The tip of Kuno's bokken was moving so
quickly that it could barely be seen. The beak of
the ostrich he fought moved just as quickly. The
bokken disintegrated within seconds.
"Kuno, I think we should run."
Run they did, to the doors that people were
frantically trying to open. Kuno put Nabiki behind
him again, and faced the oncoming birds, his only
weapon a wooden pole he'd appropriated from the
pole vault area. People were being shorn all
around them, and the sound of wailing permeated the
air.
"In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!" Five
girls stood up in the middle of the gym. Everyone
stopped to stare.
"They're not real, are they?" whispered Akane to
Ranma.
"I never thought they were, Akane. It's gotta be a
joke."
The Sailor Scouts began to shout their attacks.
Usagi raised her scepter, pointed it at an ostrich,
and--
"SWEETO!" Happosai attached himself to her bosom.
"EEEEK!!!" screamed Usagi.
"PERVERT!" yelled the remaining Scouts. They all
converged on Usagi, and attempted to pry Happosai
off her. This caused all of them, including Usagi,
to be distracted enough to get new hairdos.
Ranma shrugged. "Toldja it was a joke. No serious
fighters are gonna run around in skirts that
short!" Then a familiar voice raised itself among
the wailing crowd.
"That's it! No more!" Ostrich heads began flying
past left and right, as a furious okonomiyaki chef
waded through them. "Ran-chan, how about a little
help here?"
"We're on it! C'mon, Akane! Pop, get a move on!"
Within a few minutes every ostrich in the room had
been destroyed by the combined efforts of the
Nerima crew. The Sailor Scouts had vanished in
hysterics, leaving in their wake a seriously
damaged Happosai. It was later discovered that he
had been trampled by several pairs of high heels
and boots.
At the other end of the gym, Tatewaki Kuno lifted
the tarpaulin he had thrown over Nabiki Tendo.
"You may come out now, it is safe."
The young woman looked at him and suppressed her
giggle. After all, he had sacrificed his own hair
for her sake.
*****
Principal Kuno approached Furinkan High School. By
his estimation, his birds should have just about
finished their assignment, and he looked forward to
seeing the results.
When he turned the corner, he realized that it was
quiet. Much too quiet. A huge crowd of people
stood there, staring at him. At the head of the
crowd stood his son, standing there proudly,
despite his humiliating haircut.
"Father, what you have done today surpasses
everything you have done in the past. For this,
you deserve punishment."
"Let me at him!" shouted Ranma.
"No, Saotome." Ranma jumped in surprise as Kuno
smiled at him. "As much as I would like to let you
have your wish, there are some here who have more
of a right to take their vengeance first." He
stood aside, and Miss Hinako came forward, holding
a coin. Behind her stood a long line of respected
Nerima citizens, all holding pieces of sports
equipment. None of them intended to use said
equipment for the purpose envisioned by the
manufacturer.
Principal Kuno turned white beneath his tan.
*****
"There's a youma attacking. We HAVE to go!"
"But Ami," wailed Usagi. "I don't want anybody to
see me like this!"
"We don't have a choice!"
The girls transformed, and raced to the youma's
location. It was a particularly ugly one, dripping
gooey venom and glowing green in the darkness.
They stepped out of the shadows, and confronted it.
The youma laughed itself to death three minutes
later.
------------------------------------
comments are always welcome - to the group, or to me
karaohki@snet.net
--
--------------------------------------------------
http://karaohki.anifics.com
--------------------------------------------------
You could turn this way,
I'm also lonely
this autumn evening
Basho