Bill Heineman
18th December 2002, 02:37 AM
Sailor Ranko - Just Add Water: Chapter 11 Memories of Ranko
The ongoing saga of "Sailor Ranko", set after "Sailor Ranko: Tunnel Vision"
Based on "Sailor Ranko" by Fire and "Twice in a Millennium" by Kevin D.
Hammel and acknowledging "Black Moon - Eclipse of the Sun" by Arthur Hansen
By Bill Heineman
I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or serve up
P-Chan as dinner for four.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma didn't get a good night sleep. He kept waking up and going to the
bathroom to see if he was dreaming. Nothing he did could cause the change.
He resorted to filling a bucket with freezing ice water and poured it on
himself in the shower stall. Nothing worked. He was permanently male.
Six months ago, this would have had Ranma happy beyond his wildest dreams.
He would have danced in the streets and shouted the news from every rooftop
in Nerima. He would have held a party to celebrate the ending of his cursed
life.
Ranma grew wiser with age. He awakened a part of his soul he never knew he
had. He was the reincarnation of Angwyn, otherwise known as Sailor Sun. He
never would have known had he not unlocked her spirit through his curse. By
accessing the female half of his soul, he was able to tap into the awesome
power that only belonged to Sailor Sun.
He was Sailor Sun. He was Ranko Saotome. He was lost.
He stood in the bathroom in mourning. He wanted to scream and tear the
building into bite-sized chunks. He didn't want to accept that half of him
might be lost forever and never return. He didn't want to say that they were
dead. They were just lost. He had to find them and bring them home.
He went back to the bedroom. On the dresser drawer he found his makeup and
perfumes that he used to spruce up Ranko before she went to work. He held a
lipstick and missed the notion of putting it on. It wasn't that long ago
that the very thought of wearing lipstick would have made him nauseous. He
put it down and saw the open closet. One side held Akane's wardrobe. It
looked empty compared to Ranma's side of the closet. He had twice as many
clothes since he had a full male and female section. He noticed how the male
side was only stocked with Chinese shirts and mostly black pants. Ranma had
very little fashion sense. Ranko's side was filled with everything from
mini-skirts to sundresses to evening gowns and kimonos. Ranko knew how to
dress.
He went back to bed and lay next to Akane. Akane instinctively wrapped her
arms around her husband's body. He turned to look at his sleeping wife.
Ranma was a full man again. There was no trace of a girl in him anymore. He
knew that Akane was also saddened by the loss of Ranko. There were many
times they slept together as two females and they both enjoyed it.
Ranma never really appreciated what a gift it was to experience being a true
female. All of his training and all of his life's efforts told him to reject
anything resembling female traits. His curse opened his eyes to the wonders
of what being female was. Females were not weak or stupid. They didn't
always need a man's protection. They were different from men and yet they
were equals. Only through the curse did Ranma attain that wisdom.
He turned in bed and played with Akane's hair. She looked very cute when she
was asleep. She had a hint of a smile as she snuggled next to Ranma. She
looked fragile in his arms, yet the muscles that had shown through her skin
were testament that she was a warrior of his caliber. They had fought many
battles together and were one in mind and body. When he first met Akane, he
was convinced that she was someone to be protected and ignored. He never hit
her in training because he was taught that women were weak and not worth the
effort to train. Akane was a competent martial artist and desperately was
seeking teachers to expand her skills.
Ranma grimaced at the error of his ways. He felt terrible in how he treated
Akane in those early years. He and his rivals grew their skills while
Akane's skill started to drop. Akane grew bitter and angry not because of
hatred but because of her frustration that Ranma wouldn't take her
seriously.
Ranma finally saw why his father and Mr. Tendo had sent him away to Mr.
Miyagi's Dojo in Juuban six months ago. Ranma was a terrible teacher. He
utterly failed as an instructor with his main student, Akane Tendo. She was
desperate to learn and improve her skills and he blew her off. All she ever
learned from their sparring sessions was to swing into empty air when Ranma
dodged her blows. She never learned to defend herself since Ranma never
attacked her. Her only crime in Ranma's mind was that she was born a female.
Ranma vowed in his heart that he would never again deny Akane any training
she desired. No matter how dangerous or treacherous, Akane was a martial
artist and she would be forever treated as one. He was going to share with
her all of his secrets and all of his techniques. Akane deserved nothing
less. She was a warrior. She was his love. She was his. He was hers.
========================================
Akira and Kato were up at the break of dawn and stood before the entrance of
Juuban High School. It was a cool Sunday morning and the street was empty.
The two looked around for Yoshi, but he seemed to have carried out his
threat and refused to show up.
An hour passed by, the two were getting very angry with Happosai. He was
supposed to show up.
Kato threw his arms up, "Damn him! Yoshi was right after all. The old man
blew us off."
"Don't you mean blow you up?" Happosai stood there holding a firecracker. It
wasn't lit yet.
Akira spun to face him. "You're late!"
"I had other business to attend to. Where is your friend?"
Kato shrugged, "Yoshi? He chickened out."
"Hmm... We can do this anyways. Follow me." Happosai walked to the High
School gate and waved his hand in front of it. The gate unlocked and he
pushed it open. "Come in."
The two guys looked at each other nervously and entered. Happosai waved his
hand again the gate locked. He escorted them to the back of the building
where three empty barrels and three hand trucks sat. "Each of you takes a
barrel and a hand truck. Hold onto it tight." The two complied. They put the
empty barrel on the hand truck and stood next to them.
"Very good. Now close your eyes, both of you."
Akira was suspicious, "Is this a trick?"
"No, it's a treat!" The world around them started to fade away and a new
world faded into its place. They were on a plain with a tall mountain in the
distance. There was a spectacular waterfall visible. A sign stood nearby in
Chinese. It read "Jusendo Falls, seven kilometers".
"What in the..." Akira looked around.
Kato was perplexed, "Where are we? How did we get here?"
Happosai looked a little nervous. He was keeping his magical aura in check.
He didn't want to get detected by Lord Saffron and his people. He knew
Saffron was powerless since he was a child of seven months, but he could
still detect a demon and his people had the knowledge and firepower to do
serious harm to him.
"Your mission is to travel to that waterfall and fill these two barrels and
bring them back here."
Kato looked down at the old man. "That's it? Why couldn't you do it
yourself?"
"I have my reasons. Besides..." Happosai pulled out a wad of yen. "People
who can perform simple tasks for me are well rewarded."
The two men ran seven kilometers in record time. Well, record time for two
couch potatoes. Kasumi would have been able to cover the distance in half
the time. They were at the base of the waterfall with a river flowing to a
misty valley with bamboo poles sticking out of quiet pools below. They
pulled out a bucket that was inside one of the barrels and scooped up the
water and proceeded to fill both barrels.
It was hard work. After thirty minutes both barrels were full and sealed.
They left the bucket behind and started to wheel the barrels away. There was
a sound in the sky much like the sound of a hawk calling out a challenge.
Kato looked up and saw a very large bird like creature circling above them.
They quickened the pace and followed the road back to Happosai.
They were almost there when they saw a female in a white leotard and tall
white boots. They would have asked her for her phone number except she had
very large white feathered wings on her back and looked really pissed.
Kiema stood close to the men, "What business you have here?"
Kato stuttered, "Uh... We're just passing by?"
"With water from Jusendo?"
"Jusendo? I thought it was uh... Hmm... Evian mountain spring water."
Kiema laughed, "Did you mean to say Avian?"
Kato hoped he wasn't going to be sliced to tiny bits from the sword the bird
woman had tied to her belt. "Uh yeah, Avian."
Kiema looked to the two. They were just morons and would probably just drink
the water or use it in stew. Jusendo water was useless unless you were a
trained magic user or maybe a demonic creature. The guys were mostly
harmless. It wasn't the first time visitors confused Evian and Avian water.
She shook her head in disgust. These men weren't worth her time. They were
beyond pathetic. She expanded her wings and flew off back to Phoenix
Mountain.
Kato and Akira stood with their mouths open as the girl flew off into the
distance. They didn't realize that they were drooling until Happosai called
out their names. "Kato! Akira! Time to get out of here!" Happosai began to
chant and the world faded away to be replaced by the back of Juuban High
School.
Akira slowly turned to Happosai. "Who or what was that?"
"She is a guardian of Phoenix Mountain. Don't worry about her. She is my
problem." He produced the wad of yen and divided it in half. He threw each
half to Kato and Akira. "Job well done boys! Couldn't have done it without
you. Now go away, you bother me!"
Kato stood back, "I want an answer! That girl had wings! What is so special
about this water?"
Happosai clasped both hands together. "I see we are going to do this the
easy way." He clapped once and Kato was on Easter Island standing next to
one of the great stone totems.
Akira saw Kato vanish. "Hey! Where did he go?"
Happosai clapped again. Kato had company now.
========================================
Sailor Moon called all the scouts together for an emergency meeting to tell
everyone about the loss of Sailor Sun. Neptune, Uranus and Saturn were in
utter shock at the news and offered any help they could to help Ranma in his
time of need. Sailor Pluto was noticeably absent. She probably had to keep a
low profile for whatever her reasons were.
Sailor Moon had all of the Scouts patrol all of Tokyo. They were all looking
for Happosai or any other demonic presence. They wanted to punish him for
what he had done to Sailor Sun.
Rei was at her shrine. She had put the finishing touches on the most
powerful seal she had ever made. She prayed that her seal would be powerful
enough to lock away a demon lord. She read the book about the method to
invoke the potent seal; it mentioned three words of power that were awesome
in their magic and were required to be properly chanted to seal away even
the most powerful of evil. Rei committed them to memory.
Akane was searching with Ranma. They were concentrating on Nerima hoping
that Happosai was hanging around familiar locations. Akane barely tolerated
Ranma entering every seedy bar and adult bookstore in town. No one had seen
Happosai in a week. Ranma was not anywhere close to giving up. He was
determined to find and pulverize Happosai. Akane hoped Ranma would leave
some fragments behind so she could dole out some revenge as well.
========================================
Kasumi was hanging up the laundry when she heard a sound like a freight
train colliding with a twenty cows. The sound was getting louder. A cloud of
dust moved along the wall of the Tendo compound and stopped outside of the
front gate. A moment of silence and then a loud familiar voice called out
the challenge, "RANMA! Come out!"
Kasumi smiled and opened the gate. "Hello Ryoga. Ranma is not here right
now."
Ryoga stood at the doorway, umbrella and bandannas at the ready. "He's not
here! The coward! Where's Happosai?"
"Oh, no one has seen him for a while. They are all out looking for him."
"Who's looking for him?"
"Nabiki is at the police station, father and Mr. Saotome are searching the
west part of town and Ranma and Akane are on the east side, Ukyou and
Konatsu are searching near Furinkan."
Ryoga was furious. His rival was out searching for Happosai when he should
be looking for a cure for Akari. Wait a minute? Wasn't looking for Happosai
the same thing as finding a cure? Ryoga still wanted to somehow blame this
on Ranma.
Ryoga let go of his anger a little bit. He heard a sound from behind
Katsunishiki. Akari peeked out from behind the pig. Kasumi saw him, "Akari?
Why hello there. I didn't see you. Would you like to come in for some tea?"
Akari nodded yes. He wore a loose fitting jumpsuit and had his hair done in
a bow. You had to look really close at him to notice that she was a he.
Akari kept his mouth shut. His voice was a much lower pitch and it would
instantly give away his gender. Akari was afraid what people would say once
his curse was known.
Kasumi led the Hibikis to the dining room and served them tea. "So Akari,
how are you adjusting to married life?"
Akari looked down at the table. She kept quiet. Ryoga answered for her, "We
are uh... enjoying it. Yeah."
Kasumi looked closely at Akari. She gasped. "Oh..."
Ryoga stood up, "IT'S RANMA'S..."
"No it's not!" Akari stood up and shouted back. He realized he spoke and
gave Kasumi the final clue about his gender. He stopped and burst out
crying. He dropped back to the floor.
Kasumi went over to Akari and held him. "What happened?"
He struggled to speak. "H-H-Happosai did it to me!"
"Happosai?" Kasumi suddenly grew rigid. "When did he do this to you?"
"Y-Y-Yesterday. He sprayed me with water and I turned into this! BAH HAH
HAH!" He started the waterworks and sprayed tears everywhere.
"You saw him yesterday? Where?"
Ryoga answered, "He appeared at our farm. He was looking for Ranma."
Akari shot up and got angry. "No he wasn't! Will you stop blaming Ranma for
all your problems!"
"Well why did he attack you?"
"I don't know!" He fell over crying again.
Kasumi pointed a finger at Ryoga. "Ryoga, please show some manners and get
your facts straight before you accuse someone. Happosai is under the control
of a demon. It's the demon that's doing these things." Kasumi started
rocking Akari to calm him down. "Now, after he attacked you, where did he
go?"
Akari whimpered, "He just disappeared."
Kasumi gently pushed aside Akari, "Don't worry. Here let me get the hot
water."
Ryoga looked at the table. "Don't bother."
"Why?"
"It doesn't work."
"It doesn't?"
Akari shook from emotion. "I can't change back! We tried everything. Ryoga
almost burned me and it still didn't change me back to who I am."
Kasumi got up, "I need to make a phone call." Akari nodded and sat up
sniffing.
Kasumi went to the laundry room and shut the door. She looked around to make
sure no one was watching her. She pulled out a communicator that Akane gave
her and dialed Akane's number. Kasumi felt important. "Akane here."
"Ryoga and Akari are here at the house. They saw Happosai yesterday."
"They did? Where?"
"At their farm, I've got bad news, Akari was turned into a man."
Akane's face showed surprise. "Akari? A man?"
"Yes. He is here with Ryoga. Oh, he's not taking it very well."
"Did you pour some hot water on him?"
"That's why I'm calling you. It doesn't work."
Akane tapped her finger to her lip. "We're on our way back. Expect Sailor
Mercury to show up, she would want to check Akari."
"Ok Akane. See you soon."
"Thanks Kasumi, Akane out." The screen blanked. Kasumi turned off the
communicator and slid it back in her bra. She felt like a secret agent. She
went back to make sure Ryoga didn't wander into the closet.
========================================
Akane was standing outside of another seedy bar. Ranma was inside asking if
Happosai was seen nearby. Akane dialed Sailor Moon on her communicator.
"Moon here."
"Sailor Moon, I've got some information about Happosai."
Moon took a bite out of an ice cream cone. "Please give me good news. Is he
dead?"
"Sadly no. I think I know what he is planning."
"What?"
"He is going to turn all the women in the world into men."
There was a pause on the line. "Could you repeat that? I thought you said he
was going to change me into a guy."
"That's what I said."
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Akane had to hold her hand to silence the communicator. Passerby noticed the
long loud scream coming from her little calculator. Akane just grinned, "My
sister changed the startup sound, heh heh..."
Sailor Moon took a breath and screamed again. Akane cut the channel. She
dialed Mercury. "Mercury here."
"Mercury, I need you to get to my house in Nerima. I need to you check out
Akari Hibiki. She's been turned into a man."
"Ok, could you get Sun to... Oh... Never mind, it will take me about twenty
minutes to run there." Mercury had a sad face and looked like she wanted to
cry.
"I know. I miss her too. Akane out."
Akane dialed Sailor Moon again. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Akane found and hit
the mute button.
Ranma came out of the bar. "What's that racket?"
Akane grabbed him by the arm. "Let's go to the dojo."
"Ok! You don't have to rip my arm off." They jumped to the rooftops and ran
to the Tendo dojo.
========================================
Ranma and Akane arrived at the dojo and met Sailor Mercury outside. Ranma
had a look of sorrow, "Akane, transform and then the two of you can check on
Akari. We don't want to raise suspicions."
Akane pulled out her henshin stick and Mercury interrupted, "Don't. They are
expecting you two to be together. I can do this by myself."
Akane put her stick away. "Ok. C'mon Ranma." She led the way to the dojo
while Mercury stayed behind so she could be fashionably late.
Ranma felt his danger sense go off. The threat came from above. He jumped to
the side and avoided a hoofed foot from the sky. He rolled on the ground and
yelled, "MOKO TAKABISHA!" He shot his ki at the flying creature hitting it
square in the chest. It flew back and landed at the edge of the yard. Ranma
gave a cocky grin, "Taro!"
Pantyhose Taro pulled out a thermos from his backpack and splashed himself.
He changed back to human form. "Same to you fem-boy. Where's Happosai?"
Ranma put his hand on his head. "How many people is that freak going to piss
off?"
"I got a letter from Happosai. He had agreed to give me a new name." Taro
held out the letter as proof.
Ranma groaned and shook his head in disbelief, "Ok, that's all the proof I
need. He really is possessed by demon. That old freak would never do
anything nice on his own."
"Where is Happosai? I want my new name!" Taro shouted to the sky, "HAPPOSAI!
I am here!"
"He's not here. At this rate, he's going to show up and I'm certain we're
all going to regret it."
Taro glared at Ranma, "What is this, some sort of trick? If I came all the
way from China for nothing, someone is going to pay, cross dresser."
Ranma wanted to say something about his lack of a feminine side, but he
decided against it. The fewer people who knew about Ranma's problem, the
better. "Well join the club pal, everyone wants a piece of that freak."
Taro was pissed. "I'm not leaving until I get my new name."
"Then pitch your tent over there." Ranma pointed to a dark corner of the
compound. "You're going to be spending a few days here until the old goat
shows himself." Ranma turned to enter the dojo and walked right into Sailor
Mercury. The two bounced off each other and landed on their rears.
Taro laughed, "I see you're just as coordinated as ever pervert."
Ranma got up and marched into the house with Mercury following.
Pantyhose Taro opened his backpack and pitched his tent. He was prepared to
stick around until he had a name that didn't sound like women's
undergarments.
Sailor Mercury entered and quickly sensed Akane's location. She went into
Happosai's old room and found Akari sitting on the futon. Akane gave the
rundown, "Sailor Mercury, she was splashed with water and changed into a
guy. This is different from Nannichuan since she can't change back. Oh,
Ranma, Ryoga wants you dead again."
Ranma sighed, "Where is he?"
Akane grinned, "He's upstairs. He won't be down for at least thirty
minutes."
Akari pleaded, "Please honored Senshi, help me."
Sailor Mercury pulled down her visor and scanned Akari. She saw the exact
same magical signature on her as she did Ranma. "You say this is a permanent
change?"
Akari nodded. "Ryoga almost boiled me trying to change me back."
"How did it happen?"
"Happosai had a squirt gun and put water on me. Then he disappeared."
"Squirt gun?" Mercury typed a few keys on her computer and pulled up a
picture of the gun that Ranma gave her. "Did it look like this?"
Akari looked at the screen. "That's it!"
Mercury closed her eyes and saw visions of doom. "Thank you. Akane, I need
to speak with you."
Mercury stepped outside and went to the laundry room. Ranma followed as
well. Mercury shut the door and checked for eavesdroppers. "Tell me about
Happosai. Does he have an obsession with women?"
Ranma couldn't believe the question. It was like asking if the sky was blue.
"DUH! That little pervert exists to make the female race regret being born."
"That's what I was afraid of."
Akane got worried. "Afraid of what?"
"I got a full report on the demon from Giles. It took him some time to pull
up the information on it since this demon is very ancient and very unliked.
You see, it's shares some traits with a youma. It feeds on life energy like
a youma. The difference is that it feeds on one kind of energy."
Ranma leaned against the wall. "Please don't tell me it feeds on
perversion."
"Thankfully, no. It feeds on pain and suffering. It is tapping into
everything that could cause Happosai pain and performing whatever it can to
torment him."
Ranma smiled. "So there is justice in the world!"
"Well, not quite. You see Happosai must really like you being a girl Ranma.
Otherwise the demon wouldn't have gone to the trouble to single you out."
"I knew that pervert was behind this!"
"Well, it seems that Happosai also has doomed the female species. If the
removal of all the women will cause him agony, the demon will do it and suck
him dry. Once the demon has enough energy, it can evolve to a higher form."
Akane was terrified, "What? Is this thing a Pokemon?"
"You wish. No, currently it needs Happosai to hide from us. Once it evolves
it can hide at will and it would cause worldwide pain and suffering to feed
off of."
Ranma slid to the floor. "I knew the end of the world would come into this
sooner or later."
Mercury kneeled down to Ranma's level. "You are right about that. Think
about it. If every girl was turned into a guy, the human race couldn't have
children anymore. Think about the pain and suffering that would be caused
when we realize that in one hundred years, humankind will be extinct."
Ranma looked at the two girls, "Does this mean that if I kill Happosai, you
won't get mad at me?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: Next episode, when and where will Happosai strike next? Tune
in next time, same panda time, same panda channel.
Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and prevents me from
killing all my neighbors.
Bill Heineman
November 23, 2002
========================================
burger@contrabandent.com
========================================
The ongoing saga of "Sailor Ranko", set after "Sailor Ranko: Tunnel Vision"
Based on "Sailor Ranko" by Fire and "Twice in a Millennium" by Kevin D.
Hammel and acknowledging "Black Moon - Eclipse of the Sun" by Arthur Hansen
By Bill Heineman
I don't own these characters. Please don't sue me, kill me or serve up
P-Chan as dinner for four.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Ranma didn't get a good night sleep. He kept waking up and going to the
bathroom to see if he was dreaming. Nothing he did could cause the change.
He resorted to filling a bucket with freezing ice water and poured it on
himself in the shower stall. Nothing worked. He was permanently male.
Six months ago, this would have had Ranma happy beyond his wildest dreams.
He would have danced in the streets and shouted the news from every rooftop
in Nerima. He would have held a party to celebrate the ending of his cursed
life.
Ranma grew wiser with age. He awakened a part of his soul he never knew he
had. He was the reincarnation of Angwyn, otherwise known as Sailor Sun. He
never would have known had he not unlocked her spirit through his curse. By
accessing the female half of his soul, he was able to tap into the awesome
power that only belonged to Sailor Sun.
He was Sailor Sun. He was Ranko Saotome. He was lost.
He stood in the bathroom in mourning. He wanted to scream and tear the
building into bite-sized chunks. He didn't want to accept that half of him
might be lost forever and never return. He didn't want to say that they were
dead. They were just lost. He had to find them and bring them home.
He went back to the bedroom. On the dresser drawer he found his makeup and
perfumes that he used to spruce up Ranko before she went to work. He held a
lipstick and missed the notion of putting it on. It wasn't that long ago
that the very thought of wearing lipstick would have made him nauseous. He
put it down and saw the open closet. One side held Akane's wardrobe. It
looked empty compared to Ranma's side of the closet. He had twice as many
clothes since he had a full male and female section. He noticed how the male
side was only stocked with Chinese shirts and mostly black pants. Ranma had
very little fashion sense. Ranko's side was filled with everything from
mini-skirts to sundresses to evening gowns and kimonos. Ranko knew how to
dress.
He went back to bed and lay next to Akane. Akane instinctively wrapped her
arms around her husband's body. He turned to look at his sleeping wife.
Ranma was a full man again. There was no trace of a girl in him anymore. He
knew that Akane was also saddened by the loss of Ranko. There were many
times they slept together as two females and they both enjoyed it.
Ranma never really appreciated what a gift it was to experience being a true
female. All of his training and all of his life's efforts told him to reject
anything resembling female traits. His curse opened his eyes to the wonders
of what being female was. Females were not weak or stupid. They didn't
always need a man's protection. They were different from men and yet they
were equals. Only through the curse did Ranma attain that wisdom.
He turned in bed and played with Akane's hair. She looked very cute when she
was asleep. She had a hint of a smile as she snuggled next to Ranma. She
looked fragile in his arms, yet the muscles that had shown through her skin
were testament that she was a warrior of his caliber. They had fought many
battles together and were one in mind and body. When he first met Akane, he
was convinced that she was someone to be protected and ignored. He never hit
her in training because he was taught that women were weak and not worth the
effort to train. Akane was a competent martial artist and desperately was
seeking teachers to expand her skills.
Ranma grimaced at the error of his ways. He felt terrible in how he treated
Akane in those early years. He and his rivals grew their skills while
Akane's skill started to drop. Akane grew bitter and angry not because of
hatred but because of her frustration that Ranma wouldn't take her
seriously.
Ranma finally saw why his father and Mr. Tendo had sent him away to Mr.
Miyagi's Dojo in Juuban six months ago. Ranma was a terrible teacher. He
utterly failed as an instructor with his main student, Akane Tendo. She was
desperate to learn and improve her skills and he blew her off. All she ever
learned from their sparring sessions was to swing into empty air when Ranma
dodged her blows. She never learned to defend herself since Ranma never
attacked her. Her only crime in Ranma's mind was that she was born a female.
Ranma vowed in his heart that he would never again deny Akane any training
she desired. No matter how dangerous or treacherous, Akane was a martial
artist and she would be forever treated as one. He was going to share with
her all of his secrets and all of his techniques. Akane deserved nothing
less. She was a warrior. She was his love. She was his. He was hers.
========================================
Akira and Kato were up at the break of dawn and stood before the entrance of
Juuban High School. It was a cool Sunday morning and the street was empty.
The two looked around for Yoshi, but he seemed to have carried out his
threat and refused to show up.
An hour passed by, the two were getting very angry with Happosai. He was
supposed to show up.
Kato threw his arms up, "Damn him! Yoshi was right after all. The old man
blew us off."
"Don't you mean blow you up?" Happosai stood there holding a firecracker. It
wasn't lit yet.
Akira spun to face him. "You're late!"
"I had other business to attend to. Where is your friend?"
Kato shrugged, "Yoshi? He chickened out."
"Hmm... We can do this anyways. Follow me." Happosai walked to the High
School gate and waved his hand in front of it. The gate unlocked and he
pushed it open. "Come in."
The two guys looked at each other nervously and entered. Happosai waved his
hand again the gate locked. He escorted them to the back of the building
where three empty barrels and three hand trucks sat. "Each of you takes a
barrel and a hand truck. Hold onto it tight." The two complied. They put the
empty barrel on the hand truck and stood next to them.
"Very good. Now close your eyes, both of you."
Akira was suspicious, "Is this a trick?"
"No, it's a treat!" The world around them started to fade away and a new
world faded into its place. They were on a plain with a tall mountain in the
distance. There was a spectacular waterfall visible. A sign stood nearby in
Chinese. It read "Jusendo Falls, seven kilometers".
"What in the..." Akira looked around.
Kato was perplexed, "Where are we? How did we get here?"
Happosai looked a little nervous. He was keeping his magical aura in check.
He didn't want to get detected by Lord Saffron and his people. He knew
Saffron was powerless since he was a child of seven months, but he could
still detect a demon and his people had the knowledge and firepower to do
serious harm to him.
"Your mission is to travel to that waterfall and fill these two barrels and
bring them back here."
Kato looked down at the old man. "That's it? Why couldn't you do it
yourself?"
"I have my reasons. Besides..." Happosai pulled out a wad of yen. "People
who can perform simple tasks for me are well rewarded."
The two men ran seven kilometers in record time. Well, record time for two
couch potatoes. Kasumi would have been able to cover the distance in half
the time. They were at the base of the waterfall with a river flowing to a
misty valley with bamboo poles sticking out of quiet pools below. They
pulled out a bucket that was inside one of the barrels and scooped up the
water and proceeded to fill both barrels.
It was hard work. After thirty minutes both barrels were full and sealed.
They left the bucket behind and started to wheel the barrels away. There was
a sound in the sky much like the sound of a hawk calling out a challenge.
Kato looked up and saw a very large bird like creature circling above them.
They quickened the pace and followed the road back to Happosai.
They were almost there when they saw a female in a white leotard and tall
white boots. They would have asked her for her phone number except she had
very large white feathered wings on her back and looked really pissed.
Kiema stood close to the men, "What business you have here?"
Kato stuttered, "Uh... We're just passing by?"
"With water from Jusendo?"
"Jusendo? I thought it was uh... Hmm... Evian mountain spring water."
Kiema laughed, "Did you mean to say Avian?"
Kato hoped he wasn't going to be sliced to tiny bits from the sword the bird
woman had tied to her belt. "Uh yeah, Avian."
Kiema looked to the two. They were just morons and would probably just drink
the water or use it in stew. Jusendo water was useless unless you were a
trained magic user or maybe a demonic creature. The guys were mostly
harmless. It wasn't the first time visitors confused Evian and Avian water.
She shook her head in disgust. These men weren't worth her time. They were
beyond pathetic. She expanded her wings and flew off back to Phoenix
Mountain.
Kato and Akira stood with their mouths open as the girl flew off into the
distance. They didn't realize that they were drooling until Happosai called
out their names. "Kato! Akira! Time to get out of here!" Happosai began to
chant and the world faded away to be replaced by the back of Juuban High
School.
Akira slowly turned to Happosai. "Who or what was that?"
"She is a guardian of Phoenix Mountain. Don't worry about her. She is my
problem." He produced the wad of yen and divided it in half. He threw each
half to Kato and Akira. "Job well done boys! Couldn't have done it without
you. Now go away, you bother me!"
Kato stood back, "I want an answer! That girl had wings! What is so special
about this water?"
Happosai clasped both hands together. "I see we are going to do this the
easy way." He clapped once and Kato was on Easter Island standing next to
one of the great stone totems.
Akira saw Kato vanish. "Hey! Where did he go?"
Happosai clapped again. Kato had company now.
========================================
Sailor Moon called all the scouts together for an emergency meeting to tell
everyone about the loss of Sailor Sun. Neptune, Uranus and Saturn were in
utter shock at the news and offered any help they could to help Ranma in his
time of need. Sailor Pluto was noticeably absent. She probably had to keep a
low profile for whatever her reasons were.
Sailor Moon had all of the Scouts patrol all of Tokyo. They were all looking
for Happosai or any other demonic presence. They wanted to punish him for
what he had done to Sailor Sun.
Rei was at her shrine. She had put the finishing touches on the most
powerful seal she had ever made. She prayed that her seal would be powerful
enough to lock away a demon lord. She read the book about the method to
invoke the potent seal; it mentioned three words of power that were awesome
in their magic and were required to be properly chanted to seal away even
the most powerful of evil. Rei committed them to memory.
Akane was searching with Ranma. They were concentrating on Nerima hoping
that Happosai was hanging around familiar locations. Akane barely tolerated
Ranma entering every seedy bar and adult bookstore in town. No one had seen
Happosai in a week. Ranma was not anywhere close to giving up. He was
determined to find and pulverize Happosai. Akane hoped Ranma would leave
some fragments behind so she could dole out some revenge as well.
========================================
Kasumi was hanging up the laundry when she heard a sound like a freight
train colliding with a twenty cows. The sound was getting louder. A cloud of
dust moved along the wall of the Tendo compound and stopped outside of the
front gate. A moment of silence and then a loud familiar voice called out
the challenge, "RANMA! Come out!"
Kasumi smiled and opened the gate. "Hello Ryoga. Ranma is not here right
now."
Ryoga stood at the doorway, umbrella and bandannas at the ready. "He's not
here! The coward! Where's Happosai?"
"Oh, no one has seen him for a while. They are all out looking for him."
"Who's looking for him?"
"Nabiki is at the police station, father and Mr. Saotome are searching the
west part of town and Ranma and Akane are on the east side, Ukyou and
Konatsu are searching near Furinkan."
Ryoga was furious. His rival was out searching for Happosai when he should
be looking for a cure for Akari. Wait a minute? Wasn't looking for Happosai
the same thing as finding a cure? Ryoga still wanted to somehow blame this
on Ranma.
Ryoga let go of his anger a little bit. He heard a sound from behind
Katsunishiki. Akari peeked out from behind the pig. Kasumi saw him, "Akari?
Why hello there. I didn't see you. Would you like to come in for some tea?"
Akari nodded yes. He wore a loose fitting jumpsuit and had his hair done in
a bow. You had to look really close at him to notice that she was a he.
Akari kept his mouth shut. His voice was a much lower pitch and it would
instantly give away his gender. Akari was afraid what people would say once
his curse was known.
Kasumi led the Hibikis to the dining room and served them tea. "So Akari,
how are you adjusting to married life?"
Akari looked down at the table. She kept quiet. Ryoga answered for her, "We
are uh... enjoying it. Yeah."
Kasumi looked closely at Akari. She gasped. "Oh..."
Ryoga stood up, "IT'S RANMA'S..."
"No it's not!" Akari stood up and shouted back. He realized he spoke and
gave Kasumi the final clue about his gender. He stopped and burst out
crying. He dropped back to the floor.
Kasumi went over to Akari and held him. "What happened?"
He struggled to speak. "H-H-Happosai did it to me!"
"Happosai?" Kasumi suddenly grew rigid. "When did he do this to you?"
"Y-Y-Yesterday. He sprayed me with water and I turned into this! BAH HAH
HAH!" He started the waterworks and sprayed tears everywhere.
"You saw him yesterday? Where?"
Ryoga answered, "He appeared at our farm. He was looking for Ranma."
Akari shot up and got angry. "No he wasn't! Will you stop blaming Ranma for
all your problems!"
"Well why did he attack you?"
"I don't know!" He fell over crying again.
Kasumi pointed a finger at Ryoga. "Ryoga, please show some manners and get
your facts straight before you accuse someone. Happosai is under the control
of a demon. It's the demon that's doing these things." Kasumi started
rocking Akari to calm him down. "Now, after he attacked you, where did he
go?"
Akari whimpered, "He just disappeared."
Kasumi gently pushed aside Akari, "Don't worry. Here let me get the hot
water."
Ryoga looked at the table. "Don't bother."
"Why?"
"It doesn't work."
"It doesn't?"
Akari shook from emotion. "I can't change back! We tried everything. Ryoga
almost burned me and it still didn't change me back to who I am."
Kasumi got up, "I need to make a phone call." Akari nodded and sat up
sniffing.
Kasumi went to the laundry room and shut the door. She looked around to make
sure no one was watching her. She pulled out a communicator that Akane gave
her and dialed Akane's number. Kasumi felt important. "Akane here."
"Ryoga and Akari are here at the house. They saw Happosai yesterday."
"They did? Where?"
"At their farm, I've got bad news, Akari was turned into a man."
Akane's face showed surprise. "Akari? A man?"
"Yes. He is here with Ryoga. Oh, he's not taking it very well."
"Did you pour some hot water on him?"
"That's why I'm calling you. It doesn't work."
Akane tapped her finger to her lip. "We're on our way back. Expect Sailor
Mercury to show up, she would want to check Akari."
"Ok Akane. See you soon."
"Thanks Kasumi, Akane out." The screen blanked. Kasumi turned off the
communicator and slid it back in her bra. She felt like a secret agent. She
went back to make sure Ryoga didn't wander into the closet.
========================================
Akane was standing outside of another seedy bar. Ranma was inside asking if
Happosai was seen nearby. Akane dialed Sailor Moon on her communicator.
"Moon here."
"Sailor Moon, I've got some information about Happosai."
Moon took a bite out of an ice cream cone. "Please give me good news. Is he
dead?"
"Sadly no. I think I know what he is planning."
"What?"
"He is going to turn all the women in the world into men."
There was a pause on the line. "Could you repeat that? I thought you said he
was going to change me into a guy."
"That's what I said."
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"
Akane had to hold her hand to silence the communicator. Passerby noticed the
long loud scream coming from her little calculator. Akane just grinned, "My
sister changed the startup sound, heh heh..."
Sailor Moon took a breath and screamed again. Akane cut the channel. She
dialed Mercury. "Mercury here."
"Mercury, I need you to get to my house in Nerima. I need to you check out
Akari Hibiki. She's been turned into a man."
"Ok, could you get Sun to... Oh... Never mind, it will take me about twenty
minutes to run there." Mercury had a sad face and looked like she wanted to
cry.
"I know. I miss her too. Akane out."
Akane dialed Sailor Moon again. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Akane found and hit
the mute button.
Ranma came out of the bar. "What's that racket?"
Akane grabbed him by the arm. "Let's go to the dojo."
"Ok! You don't have to rip my arm off." They jumped to the rooftops and ran
to the Tendo dojo.
========================================
Ranma and Akane arrived at the dojo and met Sailor Mercury outside. Ranma
had a look of sorrow, "Akane, transform and then the two of you can check on
Akari. We don't want to raise suspicions."
Akane pulled out her henshin stick and Mercury interrupted, "Don't. They are
expecting you two to be together. I can do this by myself."
Akane put her stick away. "Ok. C'mon Ranma." She led the way to the dojo
while Mercury stayed behind so she could be fashionably late.
Ranma felt his danger sense go off. The threat came from above. He jumped to
the side and avoided a hoofed foot from the sky. He rolled on the ground and
yelled, "MOKO TAKABISHA!" He shot his ki at the flying creature hitting it
square in the chest. It flew back and landed at the edge of the yard. Ranma
gave a cocky grin, "Taro!"
Pantyhose Taro pulled out a thermos from his backpack and splashed himself.
He changed back to human form. "Same to you fem-boy. Where's Happosai?"
Ranma put his hand on his head. "How many people is that freak going to piss
off?"
"I got a letter from Happosai. He had agreed to give me a new name." Taro
held out the letter as proof.
Ranma groaned and shook his head in disbelief, "Ok, that's all the proof I
need. He really is possessed by demon. That old freak would never do
anything nice on his own."
"Where is Happosai? I want my new name!" Taro shouted to the sky, "HAPPOSAI!
I am here!"
"He's not here. At this rate, he's going to show up and I'm certain we're
all going to regret it."
Taro glared at Ranma, "What is this, some sort of trick? If I came all the
way from China for nothing, someone is going to pay, cross dresser."
Ranma wanted to say something about his lack of a feminine side, but he
decided against it. The fewer people who knew about Ranma's problem, the
better. "Well join the club pal, everyone wants a piece of that freak."
Taro was pissed. "I'm not leaving until I get my new name."
"Then pitch your tent over there." Ranma pointed to a dark corner of the
compound. "You're going to be spending a few days here until the old goat
shows himself." Ranma turned to enter the dojo and walked right into Sailor
Mercury. The two bounced off each other and landed on their rears.
Taro laughed, "I see you're just as coordinated as ever pervert."
Ranma got up and marched into the house with Mercury following.
Pantyhose Taro opened his backpack and pitched his tent. He was prepared to
stick around until he had a name that didn't sound like women's
undergarments.
Sailor Mercury entered and quickly sensed Akane's location. She went into
Happosai's old room and found Akari sitting on the futon. Akane gave the
rundown, "Sailor Mercury, she was splashed with water and changed into a
guy. This is different from Nannichuan since she can't change back. Oh,
Ranma, Ryoga wants you dead again."
Ranma sighed, "Where is he?"
Akane grinned, "He's upstairs. He won't be down for at least thirty
minutes."
Akari pleaded, "Please honored Senshi, help me."
Sailor Mercury pulled down her visor and scanned Akari. She saw the exact
same magical signature on her as she did Ranma. "You say this is a permanent
change?"
Akari nodded. "Ryoga almost boiled me trying to change me back."
"How did it happen?"
"Happosai had a squirt gun and put water on me. Then he disappeared."
"Squirt gun?" Mercury typed a few keys on her computer and pulled up a
picture of the gun that Ranma gave her. "Did it look like this?"
Akari looked at the screen. "That's it!"
Mercury closed her eyes and saw visions of doom. "Thank you. Akane, I need
to speak with you."
Mercury stepped outside and went to the laundry room. Ranma followed as
well. Mercury shut the door and checked for eavesdroppers. "Tell me about
Happosai. Does he have an obsession with women?"
Ranma couldn't believe the question. It was like asking if the sky was blue.
"DUH! That little pervert exists to make the female race regret being born."
"That's what I was afraid of."
Akane got worried. "Afraid of what?"
"I got a full report on the demon from Giles. It took him some time to pull
up the information on it since this demon is very ancient and very unliked.
You see, it's shares some traits with a youma. It feeds on life energy like
a youma. The difference is that it feeds on one kind of energy."
Ranma leaned against the wall. "Please don't tell me it feeds on
perversion."
"Thankfully, no. It feeds on pain and suffering. It is tapping into
everything that could cause Happosai pain and performing whatever it can to
torment him."
Ranma smiled. "So there is justice in the world!"
"Well, not quite. You see Happosai must really like you being a girl Ranma.
Otherwise the demon wouldn't have gone to the trouble to single you out."
"I knew that pervert was behind this!"
"Well, it seems that Happosai also has doomed the female species. If the
removal of all the women will cause him agony, the demon will do it and suck
him dry. Once the demon has enough energy, it can evolve to a higher form."
Akane was terrified, "What? Is this thing a Pokemon?"
"You wish. No, currently it needs Happosai to hide from us. Once it evolves
it can hide at will and it would cause worldwide pain and suffering to feed
off of."
Ranma slid to the floor. "I knew the end of the world would come into this
sooner or later."
Mercury kneeled down to Ranma's level. "You are right about that. Think
about it. If every girl was turned into a guy, the human race couldn't have
children anymore. Think about the pain and suffering that would be caused
when we realize that in one hundred years, humankind will be extinct."
Ranma looked at the two girls, "Does this mean that if I kill Happosai, you
won't get mad at me?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: Next episode, when and where will Happosai strike next? Tune
in next time, same panda time, same panda channel.
Please review my story. It makes me feel oh so happy and prevents me from
killing all my neighbors.
Bill Heineman
November 23, 2002
========================================
burger@contrabandent.com
========================================