skychan
11th February 2008, 06:07 PM
I really rather enjoyed this version and I do like it a lot more but I do
have one minor thing to point out about the attempt to mix japanese and
english.
A moment after the three of us met, we saw a bright light and heard a voice.
The voice-san was calling out to the 'legendary Magic Knights' and pleading
for them to save the world from which the voice-san was calling.
Several times you type, "the voice-san" While that is correct if you are
talking about a voice, the honorific -san turns voice into a name and I
believe it would be more gramatically appropriate in that case to just say
"Voice-san" To me at least that seems to be the best gramatical way of
mixing the two languages to achieve the effect you are attempting to portray
of Fuu's overly polite speaking habits in a differnt language than that
which they were intended for. It might even be better to exclude san at the
point where she is explicitly speaking of the voice, and include it when
speaking of the person as is shown below. In any case its a mess and these
are just my thoughts on how it might be handled to ease reading.
A moment after the three of us met, we saw a bright light and heard a
voice. The voice was calling out to the 'legendary Magic Knights' and
pleading for them to save the world from which Voice-san was calling.
Kelly Schultz
Skywise, Skychan
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have one minor thing to point out about the attempt to mix japanese and
english.
A moment after the three of us met, we saw a bright light and heard a voice.
The voice-san was calling out to the 'legendary Magic Knights' and pleading
for them to save the world from which the voice-san was calling.
Several times you type, "the voice-san" While that is correct if you are
talking about a voice, the honorific -san turns voice into a name and I
believe it would be more gramatically appropriate in that case to just say
"Voice-san" To me at least that seems to be the best gramatical way of
mixing the two languages to achieve the effect you are attempting to portray
of Fuu's overly polite speaking habits in a differnt language than that
which they were intended for. It might even be better to exclude san at the
point where she is explicitly speaking of the voice, and include it when
speaking of the person as is shown below. In any case its a mess and these
are just my thoughts on how it might be handled to ease reading.
A moment after the three of us met, we saw a bright light and heard a
voice. The voice was calling out to the 'legendary Magic Knights' and
pleading for them to save the world from which Voice-san was calling.
Kelly Schultz
Skywise, Skychan
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